I was raised by two gay dads. Ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[quote=Anonymousand?

So let's just ban ALL MEN from being OBGyns, right? b/c that's how an idiot thinks

Furthermore, her fathers knew enough to get her through her period w/o buying into that bullshit of "celebrating" it as a milestone! Let's throw a party in honor of our monthly bleeding!

They got her through. She knows the birds and the bees.

so many homophobes on this forum - and even more women who think men are morons

Pull the sticks from your asses and admit that you're flawed, ladies! OP's doing just fine!

There are female urologists and male OBGYNs I don't expect my doctor to experience my conditions. My rheumatologist does not have to have SLE.
This is about family.
I frankly think that OP has a point to prove and I don't buy it.
If she had just been a teensy bit more realistic, I would have bought it.
In reality, I get a sense that she is a bit angry. It might be because of the anti gay rhetoric, but still, I get a sense that there is some anger.

She gave her reasons for starting the thread.

Someone questioned gay parenting and OP created a post defending how she was raised.

If she's angry, she's annoyed by people like you who want to psychoanalyze something with which they have no experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, no one is saying that you did not have good parents. Your story sounds odd because I know FEW people who have no complaints about their parents.
That said, there are times when kids need to talk to folks of the same feather about certain issues.
If a family adopts a child from a different race, as that child grows, things come up. Racial discrimmnation and so on. Nothing wrong with getting outside counsel to help with that. Someone who has been in the same situation might be able to help the kid.
Just saying.

I never said I have no complaints about my parents. But none of them have to do with their sexuality, or the fact that one of them isn't a woman. One of my dads is hot-blooded, and will fly off the handle about ridiculous things. He yelled at me once because I scratched a new, expensive cutting board with a knife while cutting something. He said, "This is why we can't have nice things, because of you!" and I cried. But that has nothing to do with his being gay.

I had women around me. But they never shoved an aunt in front of me and said, "Aunt Wendi will handle all your puberty questions. You'll meet with her twice a month." What I'm saying is that any time I came to them with a question, they provided me an answer. I haven't gone through menopause yet, but my understanding is that like PMS and pregnancy, the symptoms can be different for each woman. Not everyone gets cramps when they're PMSing, or the same severity of morning sickness, or intense cravings when pregnant for example.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, no one is saying that you did not have good parents. Your story sounds odd because I know FEW people who have no complaints about their parents.
That said, there are times when kids need to talk to folks of the same feather about certain issues.
If a family adopts a child from a different race, as that child grows, things come up. Racial discrimmnation and so on. Nothing wrong with getting outside counsel to help with that. Someone who has been in the same situation might be able to help the kid.
Just saying.

I never said I have no complaints about my parents. But none of them have to do with their sexuality, or the fact that one of them isn't a woman. One of my dads is hot-blooded, and will fly off the handle about ridiculous things. He yelled at me once because I scratched a new, expensive cutting board with a knife while cutting something. He said, "This is why we can't have nice things, because of you!" and I cried. But that has nothing to do with his being gay.

I had women around me. But they never shoved an aunt in front of me and said, "Aunt Wendi will handle all your puberty questions. You'll meet with her twice a month." What I'm saying is that any time I came to them with a question, they provided me an answer. I haven't gone through menopause yet, but my understanding is that like PMS and pregnancy, the symptoms can be different for each woman. Not everyone gets cramps when they're PMSing, or the same severity of morning sickness, or intense cravings when pregnant for example.

OP, you sound too rational and well-adjusted for this board. You must leave immediately and continue your life elsewhere. Be gone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

I would venture to guess that given the hoops gay couples have to jump through to have children, they are likely at the upper end of commitment, interest, devotion, attention, etc. with regards to their children. You don't work that hard for something you aren't going to take seriously. The gay couples I know with kids have read far more baby books than I have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

OP here. Look, I can, as I said above, only speak for myself. Being that I've never taken anything more than Tylenol a few times for cramps, never worn white when I have my period, and know what menopause is, I'm fairly confident my parents did a fine job herding me through puberty. You can be convinced all you want that girls need mothers, but I am a former girl, now woman, who will remain firmly convinced that girls just need good parents, regardless of gender. My parents were PLENTY "caring and involved" and I am being VERY real when I say that I would rather go through childhood with them than with some random, average mother/father combo. If you honestly think a man can't explain menopause or what causes cramps, then let's be real - you have sadly had the wrong men surrounding you in life. My fathers gave me a well-rounded childhood, which turned me into a much more open-minded person than you are (thank for proving my earlier point).

Um, I don't think that men (or premenopausal women) can explain or describe menopause. I also don't think that men can describe or explain menstruation or how it feels to be pregnant or give birth. No woman can describe ejaculation or BPH.

Hahaha! Good lord, PP! How much info did you get from your mom? I have a wonderful, caring mom who never walked me through "menstrual diarrhea" (wtf???) or ovulatory pain or the finer details of "what menopause feels like" (and why would a teen need to know that?). Partly because it doesn't make much sense to go into that much detail up front, because every woman experiences menstruation differently, and partly because she's ... not a whacko? Seriously, part of becoming a woman is figuring out for yourself how your body reacts to menstrual cycles. And if I had any questions, I felt perfectly comfortable asking my mom, my dad or my male pediatrician.

Same goes, btw, for pregnancy, birth and ejaculation. As far as I know, my pregnancies have been different from my mom, and she had c-sections, while I had vaginal births. And the guys out there will have to chime in, but I don't think dads are sitting their sons down for long, detailed discussions about precisely what ejaculation feels like.

[Anonymous]

Oh for Pete's sake, PP. How old are you? You sound 90. I have never once heard the term menstrual diarrhea and I am a woman. My dad explained the term ovulation to me. My mom explained the term mittelschmerz. I did not feel my mom being a woman rendered my dad's explanation defective.

OP: When did your dads know they were gay? Was it similar for both of them? Did their parents know? Are you close to your grandparents and were they supportive of your dads?

[Anonymous]

I think dinner conversations at the "menstrual diarrhea" PP's house must be...fascinating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh for Pete's sake, PP. How old are you? You sound 90. I have never once heard the term menstrual diarrhea and I am a woman. My dad explained the term ovulation to me. My mom explained the term mittelschmerz. I did not feel my mom being a woman rendered my dad's explanation defective.

OP: When did your dads know they were gay? Was it similar for both of them? Did their parents know? Are you close to your grandparents and were they supportive of your dads?

I know one knew when he was 4 or 5, though he didn't have a word for it until he was older. Yes, their parents knew. Yes, I'm close with my grandparents and great-grandma (who lives with my grandparents), though closer with one set simply because they live 20 minutes away vs. the other grandparents who are divorced and live like 7 hours away and further. They're very supportive in their love for them, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.

Dear lord. I never, ever discussed any of those things with my mother! Based on the conversations I had with my friends, none of them did either. Somehow I survived anyway!

+1 and I learned about tampons from reading instructions off a box. Perfectly fine with the way I was raised!

[Anonymous]

Did you have a threesome with your two Dads?

[Anonymous]

who pitched and who played catcher?

[Anonymous]

What the HELL is menstrual diarrhea??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the HELL is menstrual diarrhea??

I have severe endometriosis -I only know what the term is because it is associated with severe cases, and I dealt with it before having my bowels resectioned. Last I checked, the average woman is not experiencing that.

If I were giving my middle school-aged daughter a Period 101 talk, I would not see a reason to mention this. The fact that the one PP sees it as pivotal to womanhood is just...weird!

[Anonymous]

Did the kids at elementary and middle school think anything of it? Also what was your morning routine? And last, did you have any siblings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:who pitched and who played catcher?

Not the OP, but clearly her dad pitched and her other dad played catcher...duh!