I was raised by two gay dads. Ask me anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your dating relationships generally healthy, or do you get involved with really needy types and give too much of yourself to them? I only ask b/c my cousin with 2 dads does this, and I wonder why she thinks so little of herself & lets guys take advantage of her kindness.

Well I'm married now, but I suppose I made the usual teenage girl mistakes in dating boys who were more into being cool and less into being good boyfriends before I grew up and managed to date a few truly decent guys. My husband doesn't seem overly needy to me. Now if you'll excuse me I have to pick out what he's going to wear to bed and point out which bottle is the shampoo and which is the conditioner before I start the shower for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your fathers rich?

One grew up poor, clawed his way up and out, and one grew up well off, so I guess they average out to average.

[Anonymous]

Is there anything that having been raised by two dads gives you an advantage over others?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there anything that having been raised by two dads gives you an advantage over others?

I think so. Definitely the expected - more compassionate for people who are different in some way. It would be too hard to sort out which great things I got from being raised by my two specific fathers and which great things I got from being raised by two fathers instead of one father and one mother.

[Anonymous]

Great thread, thanks for doing this.

I know that NY was ahead of its time with gay acceptance, but did you travel out of the NY area? Did your dads have trouble taking you out of state? I'm not white and I know that there were some states where it was definitely uncomfortable to be a minority in and I can imagine that having gay dads that would create many of the same issues.

[Anonymous]

Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

Lesbian mom of 2 kids: no. My kids will tell you in a heartbeat that I spend too much time on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

How and when did you find out they were gay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How and when did you find out they were gay?

I don't remember ever not knowing.

[Anonymous]

Did you go to public or private elementary and high school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great thread, thanks for doing this.

I know that NY was ahead of its time with gay acceptance, but did you travel out of the NY area? Did your dads have trouble taking you out of state? I'm not white and I know that there were some states where it was definitely uncomfortable to be a minority in and I can imagine that having gay dads that would create many of the same issues.

We traveled all the time. If they ever were given a hard time, they didn't let me know about it. We didn't routinely travel to the small towns in Arkansas though, it was more major cities, visiting friends or relatives (which is kind of insulating) and sometimes tourist attractions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did you go to public or private elementary and high school?

Private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you turn out gay?

Lol, no. It's not contagious.

Don't be defensive! There is a strong nurture component so it's a fair question.

No there's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do children of gays and adopted children feel pressure to say good things about their parents?

I don't. I can't speak for other people, but having read a bit around the internet, there are a LOT of adopted children who speak out against their adoptive parents.

But few children raised by gay parents say anything negative, which makes me wonder. It can't be the perfect scenario that you make it up to be...not calling troll, but really. I notice this trend where the kids of gay parents come out saying life was perfect, almost in defense of gay rights for no ther reason.
Also, wrt the menstruation thing. It is more complex than you might have understood. Explaining ovulatory pain and sympotoms, what not to wear, menstrual diarrhea, when not to get in the pool, and that it's never over 'til its over are all things that another woman needs to explain. If you have not had a period, it is hard to describe all of that. I find it sad that your fathers did not try to get a woman involved with those issues. I know a few women whose mothers got as involved as your fathers did, and they felt that their mothers could have been more caring and involved.
Sorry, I am not against gay adoption, but let's be real.