Moms who complain they have no time but clearly do

[Anonymous]

I do not doubt that SAHMs are busy, but the 16:44 list of tasks to justify her worth as a SAHM is kind of laughable. She feeds and clothes her kids, gets them to and from school and entertained and contributes to her community. That is great, but to say she does not have time for whatever she wants to do is likely incorrect (I may be wrong and not know that she has OCD so she cannot depart from her schedule of cooking organic pancakes, bed-making and lawn mowing).

This is me, the self justifying one, just as you here are justifying your CHOICE to be a working mom. Yes it is your choice because you chose to have a child.

I was simply showing that there are some SAHM's that do not have time, that was the premise of the original post. I do not complain, I love the time I have during the day and am able to do many things. But I do not have time to go and get my hair done, I do not get manicures etc. Can we (SAHM's) adjust our schedules a bit more than the mother who leaves her house to work, yes to a certain extent. However there is a schedule to maintain. I also never said that any mother was lazy. Just stating that that could be the only difference.

My words are based from my own experiences and no other place. I am not justifying or attacking mothers who work outside of the home. Nowhere did I do such. If you are offended or bothered by my position as a kick ass SAHM then that is your problem not mine.

To the OP- I hope all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy and you get the chance to rest when you can.

[Anonymous]

AnonymousThis is me, the self justifying one, just as you here are justifying your CHOICE to be a working mom. Yes it is your choice because you chose to have a child.[/quote wrote:

So, you are talking about single moms here, too (whether through divorce or the death of a spouse)? Or those whose husbands are disabled or unemployed?

I'm happy that you had the choice to stay at home, but don't get all self-righteous on everyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I do not doubt that SAHMs are busy, but the 16:44 list of tasks to justify her worth as a SAHM is kind of laughable. She feeds and clothes her kids, gets them to and from school and entertained and contributes to her community. That is great, but to say she does not have time for whatever she wants to do is likely incorrect (I may be wrong and not know that she has OCD so she cannot depart from her schedule of cooking organic pancakes, bed-making and lawn mowing).

This is me, the self justifying one, just as you here are justifying your CHOICE to be a working mom. Yes it is your choice because you chose to have a child.

I was simply showing that there are some SAHM's that do not have time, that was the premise of the original post. I do not complain, I love the time I have during the day and am able to do many things. But I do not have time to go and get my hair done, I do not get manicures etc. Can we (SAHM's) adjust our schedules a bit more than the mother who leaves her house to work, yes to a certain extent. However there is a schedule to maintain. I also never said that any mother was lazy. Just stating that that could be the only difference.

My words are based from my own experiences and no other place. I am not justifying or attacking mothers who work outside of the home. Nowhere did I do such. If you are offended or bothered by my position as a kick ass SAHM then that is your problem not mine.

To the OP- I hope all goes well with the rest of your pregnancy and you get the chance to rest when you can.

The point you are missing, and why you have annoyed so many posters, is your evaluation of your choices and options as comparable with regard to the definition of "not having time". I too am happy with my life with my family and have the luxury of many choices, including the choice to work in a rewarding job that is very family friendly. I recognize that I am lucky and try to appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I am starting to find myself annoyed though at SAHMs who have children in school and still complain about not having time.

You know what, this opens you up for a good ole fashion can of whoop ass!

I am a stay at home mother of three kids. I have no children home with me all day as the youngest is in Elementary school ALL DAY.
To give you a glimpse into the day of one DC SAHM, because apparently you are clueless.

-I am up at 6:15am, I start the coffee, then start waking children. I have clothing laid out for them to get dressed. I come down and while sipping coffee I am making breakfast. NO I do not just toss cereal on the table for my kids. This morning was pancakes. I then pack two school lunches, make sure everyone has washed their faces, brushed teeth and hair and has their backpacks. Then it is off to catch the metro bus. We walk to the school from the bus stop, go to morning line up and say good bye at the classroom. I then proceed to meet with the other whining mothers who are part of the parent education committee to discuss school topics we are working on for that week. Then I walk the mile+ from school back to my house.

-I get home and it is between 9:30-10:00am. Now I am home and have the house to myself. I go head upstairs to make sure beds are made and then back down to the basement to start the first load of laundry for the day, empty the dishwasher and then check my emails. I spend about 30minutes on the computer working on my class parent responsibilities. Getting events organized, school functions and classroom news out to the rest of the families in the class. Then I go and take a shower. Now it is time to go back downstairs and get one load in the dryer and another one in the washer. I take a few minutes to get something out for dinner and plan what is for dinner. Then I go over my calendar and make/set any appointments etc that need to be made taken care of. THIS is just the morning BEFORE NOON.

-There is trash that needs to be taken out, grass that needs to be cut, or something in the yard that needs tending to. Clothes that may need mending, toys to be fixed, or a donation to be gotten together. Then I am getting a load of laundry out of the dryer to fold it and put it away and put the next in the dryer. Now I can sit and have lunch. It is about 1:00pm and I have to pick my kids up from school at 3:00pm. So I then take off and run any errands before heading to my kids school to pick them up.

-Back home by 4:00pm. We have homework, chores, reading, play dates after school activities (dance classes, etc) as well as dinner to be made and served for a family of 5. Then it is time to clean up after dinner while the kids play with Dad. Now it is time for baths pajamas teeth brushing and bedtime stories Kisses & Hugs and FINALLY I get to sit down It is 8:30-9:00pm. Oh wait I forgot to turn on the dishwasher and fold the last load of laundry in the dryer.

This is a typical day for a SAHM. So do I have at least 4 hours out of a day to myself HELL NO. Must be nice to go to work and get a break and then bash stay at home moms because YOU have guilt issues!

Give me a break. I learned a LONG time ago to NEVER pass judgment on any other mother unless I have walked in her shoes.

Ignorance is something I just do not have time for.

You call that whooping ass? let me get this straight, your day is filled with
-Getting up and preparing breakfast and getting the kids dressed (wow! who does that anymore?) and take them to school.
-You then do some laundry, fuck around on the computer, and plan dinner. You then make appointments (which in your world is a daily occurance)
-You then take out the trash (which we all know takes FOREVER), cut the grass (because we have had torrents of rain and it needs a daily mow) and you then mend clothes and fix toys (this is where I scratch my head confused and say WTF?)
-You SOMEHOW manage to squeeze in a shower and lunch all before 1PM (wow, just amazing!)
-You then run errands and pick your kids up and do homework, prepare dinner, and cart the kids around.

Your emphasis and passion is what really has me cracked up, as if these tasks of making beds and removing trash are so difficult. I must wonder how you would manage if you were a single mom and had to do all those basic tasks and hold down a FT job.

[Anonymous]

Seriously, I do all of that (perhaps not in that order) and work FT making $100k+. Oh wait. We don't drink coffee so I don't have the onerous task of making coffee in the morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously, I do all of that (perhaps not in that order) and work FT making $100k+. Oh wait. We don't drink coffee so I don't have the onerous task of making coffee in the morning.

UGH, woke up 45min ago, ran on the treadmill and have to trudge downstairs and make a pot of coffee , all the worse, it is trash day and DH is traveling, so I have to take the trash out as well. That should take me FOREVER. I also have to make a few appointments, fill out ppwk for school, turnon the crock-pot, get two kids ready for the day and all be out the door by 8AM. I then get to get into the office, bring home the bacon, and then fry it up. I'm soooooo busy.

[Anonymous]

Uhg. As a WM I hate how some posters are berating 16:44 SAHM who posted her schedule.

I for one appreciate her posting - her point was she is busy throughout the day and she has things to do, not all of which are glamorous. It is NOT a competition. My life as a WM is hectic, but really, I like my job and DH is a true partner, we have great childcare and we can outsource housecleaning. It's not that bad and the trade offs to me are worth it. I don't understand these debates - it's seems to turn into either a contest to see who has it hardest, in the next thread it will turn into who has it easiest ("I have time to cook healthy, delicious meals for my family and I've never looked better because I work out all the time!" "Well I get to travel and stay in 5 star hotels and dress up in nice clothes and get paid 500K because I am so smart all while being home by 3:30 for my children!").

I mean it just gets ridiculous. Many of us have challenges and perks. I am really lucky to have a happy, healthy family and the rest is really moot.

[Anonymous]

"You know what, this opens you up for a good ole fashion can of whoop ass!

I am a stay at home mother of three kids. I have no children home with me all day as the youngest is in Elementary school ALL DAY.
To give you a glimpse into the day of one DC SAHM, because apparently you are clueless.

-I am up at 6:15am, I start the coffee, then start waking children. I have clothing laid out for them to get dressed. I come down and while sipping coffee I am making breakfast. NO I do not just toss cereal on the table for my kids. This morning was pancakes. I then pack two school lunches, make sure everyone has washed their faces, brushed teeth and hair and has their backpacks. Then it is off to catch the metro bus. We walk to the school from the bus stop, go to morning line up and say good bye at the classroom. I then proceed to meet with the other whining mothers who are part of the parent education committee to discuss school topics we are working on for that week. Then I walk the mile+ from school back to my house.

-I get home and it is between 9:30-10:00am. Now I am home and have the house to myself. I go head upstairs to make sure beds are made and then back down to the basement to start the first load of laundry for the day, empty the dishwasher and then check my emails. I spend about 30minutes on the computer working on my class parent responsibilities. Getting events organized, school functions and classroom news out to the rest of the families in the class. Then I go and take a shower. Now it is time to go back downstairs and get one load in the dryer and another one in the washer. I take a few minutes to get something out for dinner and plan what is for dinner. Then I go over my calendar and make/set any appointments etc that need to be made taken care of. THIS is just the morning BEFORE NOON.

-There is trash that needs to be taken out, grass that needs to be cut, or something in the yard that needs tending to. Clothes that may need mending, toys to be fixed, or a donation to be gotten together. Then I am getting a load of laundry out of the dryer to fold it and put it away and put the next in the dryer. Now I can sit and have lunch. It is about 1:00pm and I have to pick my kids up from school at 3:00pm. So I then take off and run any errands before heading to my kids school to pick them up.

-Back home by 4:00pm. We have homework, chores, reading, play dates after school activities (dance classes, etc) as well as dinner to be made and served for a family of 5. Then it is time to clean up after dinner while the kids play with Dad. Now it is time for baths pajamas teeth brushing and bedtime stories Kisses & Hugs and FINALLY I get to sit down It is 8:30-9:00pm. Oh wait I forgot to turn on the dishwasher and fold the last load of laundry in the dryer.

This is a typical day for a SAHM. So do I have at least 4 hours out of a day to myself HELL NO. Must be nice to go to work and get a break and then bash stay at home moms because YOU have guilt issues!

Give me a break. I learned a LONG time ago to NEVER pass judgment on any other mother unless I have walked in her shoes.

Ignorance is something I just do not have time for. "

Huh? Sounds like a lot of of "busy work". You must be a very slow worker. Is there something wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

"Ignorance is something I just do not have time for. "

Really? Then why your long & dull post?

[Anonymous]

People are harshing on 16:44 for posting what she does all day, but OP's original vent was that she didn't get why SAHMs (especially) complained they were so busy when they obviously have time. And as I read 16:44's post (a) she doesn't complain she doesn't have time and (B) she clearly DOES have time to volunteer (at least 30 min a day) for her child's school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uhg. As a WM I hate how some posters are berating 16:44 SAHM who posted her schedule.

I for one appreciate her posting - her point was she is busy throughout the day and she has things to do, not all of which are glamorous. It is NOT a competition. My life as a WM is hectic, but really, I like my job and DH is a true partner, we have great childcare and we can outsource housecleaning. It's not that bad and the trade offs to me are worth it. I don't understand these debates - it's seems to turn into either a contest to see who has it hardest, in the next thread it will turn into who has it easiest ("I have time to cook healthy, delicious meals for my family and I've never looked better because I work out all the time!" "Well I get to travel and stay in 5 star hotels and dress up in nice clothes and get paid 500K because I am so smart all while being home by 3:30 for my children!").

I mean it just gets ridiculous. Many of us have challenges and perks. I am really lucky to have a happy, healthy family and the rest is really moot.

This.

I am a WOHM right now, but may eventually SAHM. Our HHI would be halved, and we would make definite sacrifices, but the chaos we have right now isn't worth it to me. Being in one world and seriously contemplating the other, I have sympathy for both camps. If we do ultimately decide that I will be a SAHM for awhile, it will be because we have looked at our situation and decided this is best for us overall. But I do know there are things (besides the $$) that I would miss about being in the office. Life is about tradeoffs for 99% of us.

Why don't we all give each other a break, and focus on managing our own lives rather than tearing down others for how they do or don't manage their time? We talk about wanting to teach our kids kindness, empathy, and tolerance -but if the comments on these boards are, in any way, reflective of our parenting styles, I think we are failing.

[Anonymous]

i feel sorry for the kids of all you meanie moms who just come on here attacking people and being bullies. your kids are probably going to grow up to be to be jerks like you are.

[Anonymous]

"If you are offended or bothered by my position as a kick ass SAHM then that is your problem not mine. "

Kick ass SAHM? Evidence, please.

[Anonymous]

08:49, what exactly would serve as evidence? If her children are happy, is that enough? If her house is spotless, is that enough? If she and her husband have found the right balance that works for their family, is that enough? Should she be making all of her children's clothes and cooking three organic meals a day? Must she also solve world peace and feed the hungry?

Why must women judge each other so harshly? How in the world does it affect anyone else if she thinks of herself as a kick ass SAHM? I think it is great that she is confident and happy!

[Anonymous]

16:44...please tell me you're not doing 3 loads of wash DAILY for a family of 5. I do one load every 2-3 days for 3 of us and your post makes me feel dirty