Moms who complain they have no time but clearly do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man checking out this thread for the first time . . . wow. What a bunch of harpies (on both sides).

Eh, I don't put too much stock in what you say. You're a man. You all don't struggle with the same judgments of being "good moms" and judgments about your choices (being it SAHM/WOHM) to the same extent women do. Not even close. So, you can take your judgment and suck it.

As for me, I've read only a couple pages of this same, tired debate mostly for entertainment value. I think everyone just needs to mind their own business on this front. Whether you SAHM/WOHM, you're going to be busy. It is just different types of busy.

My husband has discplined my daughter (verbally) in public twice when he was literally stopped by someone who told him what a great Dad he is. If I even give my daughter a dirty look for bad behavior I get a nasty lecture from a stranger.

That's b/c there are double standards for moms and dads. If my DH (who is awesome with our DD) takes our DD to the peds, he is father of the year. If I do it, nothing. It is expected. This is the case across the board, no matter what it is.

[Anonymous]

"That's b/c there are double standards for moms and dads. If my DH (who is awesome with our DD) takes our DD to the peds, he is father of the year. If I do it, nothing. It is expected. This is the case across the board, no matter what it is. "

Parenting 101

Mom takes care of her kid - yawn.
Dad takes care of his kid - Brass band & a parade.

[Anonymous]

16:44 - no, not all mothers, SAH or WOH, work hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes wonder if this is isolated to moms or if it's a broader issue in our society. I know so many people, with kids and without, who spend all their time complaining about how busy they are. I have a coworker who never stops complaining about her work load but can find hours to stand in my office yacking. I think sometimes that people equate busy with being important. Honestly, I think that mothers corner the market on busy, but it still seems that lots of people want to be sure that everyone knows how busy/important they are.

I agree it's a mindset. Some people look for stuff to complain about all the time , no matter how much time they have, how much money they have, or what their situation is- it's kind of conditioned into the way they (or most people in our society) think. If we complain about what's going on in our life then we must have a lot going on and be important! My SIL recently quit her job (no kids) and now complains about having to work on her blog, proofread her blog, etc. She's just replacing one thing for another to feel like she has something important going on. Give them a break though, they don't know that they are doing it and probably don't know how to break that pattern. We could all look less for things to complain about (including you OP).

OP here: I don't disagree with this, but as someone who just complained about your SIL, I think you could include yourself in that statement as well. Everyone complains. I have stated in more than one response that I'm certain these people complain about things I do and say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[color=darkred]This is 16:44



The original poster opened for discussion/debate the theory that SAHM's complain about not having enough time, I was replying to that. By the way OP, thank you for your apology.

[\quote]

I tried to discuss people in general, not just SAHMs. I don't know why this is getting lost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is 16:44

I find it rather humorous that most of you on this thread are so incredibly affected by my post.

First, I am not offended by anyone's comments as none of you have any idea what kind of person/woman I am or my intellectual level, which is quite high. I am extremely tuned into my surroundings, news etc. So I really could care less about your banter and slandering me because I chose to voice up as a SAHM. I was SIMPLY sharing MY story of life as a stay at home mom who does not how to fill her time, not waste it or let it get away from her.

The original poster opened for discussion/debate the theory that SAHM's complain about not having enough time, I was replying to that. By the way OP, thank you for your apology.

I do not complain about not having enough time and I am extremely happy with my life as a SAHM. I did not bash mothers who work outside of the house, as MANY of you decided to bash me.

I have three children, one is an adult (20yrs old next month) so I do not need to make her lunch . I have two children in elementary school that benefit greatly from the gift I have been given by being able to stay home.

I have worked, even ran my own business at one point. Was a single mother with my oldest for a few years and had to hold down two jobs while raising her during that time on my own. So I know both worlds very well. I have much respect for mothers who work outside the house and also actually raise their children and do everything at home. Again, I never put anyone down for their position, SAHM or WM.

The fact that SO many of you decided to analyze me, from one damn post, ridicule me and try to rip me apart makes me wonder if you are missing something. For why else you would not hold such hostility that you must unleash on a complete stranger.

I will end my time on this thread, which unbelievably is still rolling along due to ONE SAHM's post, mine, with this.

We are MOTHERS. Some of us can rise to the occasion with great ease and some of us struggle a bit more. Some of us are blessed with the ability to be home based for our children/families and some of us have careers/jobs outside of the home. We all work hard in our own way. Some of us are able to toss some fun into our days during the week but are bombarded on the weekends with family stuff, while some mothers spend their weekends catching up with girlfriends etc. It really does not matter. Unless you have walked a mile in my shoes and I yours don't judge, ever.

I think you should come back in a week and read your original post and you will understand why it got the reaction it did, here is how you started out:



Quoted OP: "I am starting to find myself annoyed though at SAHMs who have children in school and still complain about not having time."


Quote of 16:44:

"You know what, this opens you up for a good ole fashion can of whoop ass!

I am a stay at home mother of three kids. I have no children home with me all day as the youngest is in Elementary school ALL DAY.
To give you a glimpse into the day of one DC SAHM, because apparently you are clueless. "




Look at it, this was a fairly tame discussion about the nature of complaining until you weighed in. Your post called anyone who thought that SAHMs have free time idiotic and used your life as an example of how wrong they are, and yet you identified an incredibly mundane list of things that you do, the vast majority of which are not particularly time sensitive (I am not saying they are not necessary or useful). I too am tired of this thread, but please do not try to play "woe is me, I cannot believe anyone reacted strongly" when you wrote a post like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the PP's are right. Some people, whether they are parents or not, are just natural born whiners and/or want to appear busy and important. All of your women friends and acquaintances may happen to be parents, so the only pool from which you make your observations are mothers.

My best friend and her husband have no children and she is constantly telling me that she has no time to tackle projects like yard work or a thorough cleaning of her house. It's all I can do to keep from asking her if she is f#$-ing kidding me. Meanwhile, whenever she comes over in her skinny jeans and perfectly colored hair, I am running around trying not to look like the frazzled, home hair-colored, working mom of two kids under 3 that I am!

OMG this is my sister! Single, no kids, a 40hr a week job and she is always declaring how overwhelmed and stressed out she is...saying that she is "running a mile a minute" and can't seem to "catch her breath". She still sleeps in until 10AM on the weekends. I sometimes cannot help myself and tell her she has no idea what busy IS. She is now taking a drawing class once a week at Mason and you would think her world has collapsed.

PP, your sister sounds lazy.

[Anonymous]

9:32, before you had children didn't you think you were busy? I know that I did! Plus, I certainly slept later than 10:00 on the weekends and would do so now if I did not have a little one!

[Anonymous]

mind your own business.....until you are in someone else's shoes you have no right to judge.