Moms who complain they have no time but clearly do

[Anonymous]

So, I'm a PT working mom, and I don't have any issue or qualm with women choosing to work or not to work. I think it's every family's decision.

I am starting to find myself annoyed though at SAHMs who have children in school and still complain about not having time. If you have 1 child who is in pre-school 4 hours a day how are you still complaining? I just don't get it. Do you know how hard it is to get 4 hours to yourself if you have other children to take care of or are at work? I have one friend who stays home and sends her youngest to daycare all day and still complains about money and time. Her youngest is 3, he doesn't need to go to full-time daycare instead of pre-school. I don't get it. How can she NOT have time? She doesn't work! She doesn't have children at home with her! What are people doing with their time? I mean, if you stay home and have help, that's great, but why are you still complaining? It's not what they're doing that bothers me, it's the whining.

In the same vein....I have known working Moms who clearly work more than they need to for their job but complain they never see their kids. OR, they go out at night and get babysitters rather than stay home with their children. I know you need time with your significant other. I need that time also. But when you do it several times a week it makes no sense to me. I mean, do it, but then don't whine that you have no time with your kids when you're choosing to spend that time doing other things. Just be who you are and accept that you're just not that Mom.

Why is everyone whining?! Is it guilt or something?

[Anonymous]

Can everyone just hold off responding until I've poured myself a last drink, checked on the kids one more time and got comfortable on the couch with my computer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can everyone just hold off responding until I've poured myself a last drink, checked on the kids one more time and got comfortable on the couch with my computer.

tee hee

[Anonymous]

Everyone has time for things that are priorities but virtually nobody has time for everything. Some people prioritize working at the office, or keeping a clean house, preparing dinner, doing laundry, organizing stuff, paying bills, grocery shopping, volunteering at the school, exercising, doing errands, catching up on e-mails, making photo albums, playing with their kids, facebooking, socializing, reading parenting books, continuing their education, visiting family, shopping for bargains, doing hobbies, or even relaxing. But there's no way that one person can do all of these things well. It's a real source of frustration for many of us. If it bothers you that much to hear about it you should 1) move to a slower-paced society and 2) get off DCUM immediately.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can everyone just hold off responding until I've poured myself a last drink, checked on the kids one more time and got comfortable on the couch with my computer.

LOLOLOLOLOL!!! I was thinking the same thing!

[Anonymous]

I am with OP on this one. Without a doubt. I work FT and I have a hard time not laughing out loud when I do the afternoon pick up every now and then and hear the SAHMs professing how busy and put upon they are with all their kids in elementary school.

[Anonymous]

I don't get why people whine about having "friends" who whine.

[Anonymous]

My ft working friend assumes I have tons of free time since I only work pt and it's from home. I don't think she gets that I'm not dropping off my kids at 8 and picking up at 6 and then going to work all day. I drop off at 9, come home, get 1.5 hours of work in while DS plays, feed him, take him to school 12-3. While he is at school I race home and get 2 hours of work in. Then I start pickup which goes roundtrip from 2:30-4:30. Finally home I finish up work for the day and at 5 start dinner. Meanwhile I attempt to give my kids some time. After dinner we play, bathe, snack, bed. Rinse and redo the next day. I actually put DS in beforecare 2x a week so I could get more hours in for work--need to in this economy and to keep my job. If I didn't have to work, I assure you I could find things to fill my time up with (grocery shopping, laundry, cleaning the house, organzing, working out, selling stuff on ebay and CL that we no longer need etc...). That would be how I would plan my time without kids (so, it's free time, but I would choose to fill it with stuff that had to get done each day).

[Anonymous]

OP - I totally understand where you are coming from - I work, a somewhat reduced schedule, but closer to FT than PT, have two kids and have absolutely zero time to myself. My kids go to a preschool with lots of SAHMs and I have plenty of respect for that choice (heck, it's a choice I would like to make if we could afford it), but I find it's a real conversation killer for me when I'm at a playdate or something and these moms are complaining, complaining about how tired they are, don't have time, etc...These are moms who for the most part have 1 or 2 kids in school at least 3 hours a day, if not more. A few also have a younger child and I can understand why that truly can be exhausting since a baby or young toddler is home all day, but most of these moms have a sitter one or more days a week so they can run errands, go to the salon, etc..., have cleaning help and so forth.

I suspect it is almost like reflexive complaining, like just the way they bond with other moms. And I get that - it's just that I find I can't really respond in any meaningful way -- either it would seem like I'm trying to one up them with "hey, I haven't had even an hour to myself in three months" or something like that or well, I just don't have anything to say.

[Anonymous]

OP - you are basing your assumptions on 1 observation of your friend.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I think some people are just complainers and whiners. I have friends who work FT, have demanding jobs, more than one child, and never complain. I have friends who work PT or don't work at all, have one child and constantly whine. Some people are never happy!

[Anonymous]

I do love how people complain about having no time, but can found complaining to an anonymous audience on DCUM.

And it's not like one post is enough: when you start looking at time stamps, they spend an awful lot of their not-free-time getting into it with other people.

I work full time, but I am the first to admit, I could allocate my time better.

First step: Get off DCUM...

[Anonymous]

When I was a SAHM with younger kids, I noticed that a lot of complaining when on about these things, along with lots so complaining about husbands. I think a PP is right, it is just reflexive complaining just to complain. When I was at home, I had more time that I knew what to do with and all I had time left at the end of the day to do was to stare at the clock waiting for my husband to arrive home and try to control myself from calling him every 10 minuets after 5PM asking when he would be home.

[Anonymous]

I sometimes wonder if this is isolated to moms or if it's a broader issue in our society. I know so many people, with kids and without, who spend all their time complaining about how busy they are. I have a coworker who never stops complaining about her work load but can find hours to stand in my office yacking. I think sometimes that people equate busy with being important. Honestly, I think that mothers corner the market on busy, but it still seems that lots of people want to be sure that everyone knows how busy/important they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can everyone just hold off responding until I've poured myself a last drink, checked on the kids one more time and got comfortable on the couch with my computer.