Moms who complain they have no time but clearly do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1644 poster made me so thankful that im a WOHM mom. OMG OMG. Thank god that is not my day. I will never ever complain about my dirty house; my stack of chores; my laundry--never. Im so happy to drive one hour to work because if I was to ever list making coffee as something i do in my day, i would want someone to kick me.

As a WM this kind of post makes me cringe.

I love being a working mom and I feel lucky to have the life I live, but for god's sake 16:44 is a mom of three, we don't know anything about her life! This was one day. In one year. I am sure she does other things, like maybe read, pay attention to the news, whatever. Her husband works so the deal they struck was that she takes care of that stuff.

I'm happy with my life as a WM and I enjoy my work, but I bet if any of us were to detail one day, it probably wouldn't be that exciting! Some of the stuff I do IS exciting - meeting leaders in my related field, attending conferences on topics I enjoy, acing a presentation, etc. But good lord. It's not this life of glamour. I am in no way putting WMs down and I HATE when people get on and say "well you aren't saving the world when you go off to work." So I don't want to imply that I or other working folks are not doing important stuff either at work and I actually think no matter what you do, earning a paycheck for the family is not something to be looked down on , but DCUM is NO place for a glamour contest. We are moms of young kids! WTF??? What are our days supposed to look like?

[Anonymous]

I think when people say "I can't do that because I don't have the time" they are really just saying that they don't want to do whatever "that" is. I think people just say the time thing as an excuse that's not supposed to cause hurt feelings. I mean, if you ask me to help decorate for your toddler's party and I don't want to do it, wouldn't you rather hear that I can't help because I don't have time or would you rather have me say, "that sounds dull, I'm going to sit around at home watching House Hunters instead."

[Anonymous]

As a man checking out this thread for the first time . . . wow. What a bunch of harpies (on both sides).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man checking out this thread for the first time . . . wow. What a bunch of harpies (on both sides).

Really? You made it through the the whole thread? Can honestly say my husband, if forced to read, would have rammed his head against the computer table to pass out and avoid getting beyond page 2.

DCUM is a point of contention in our marriage and something we don't speak about anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man checking out this thread for the first time . . . wow. What a bunch of harpies (on both sides).

Really? You made it through the the whole thread? Can honestly say my husband, if forced to read, would have rammed his head against the computer table to pass out and avoid getting beyond page 2.

DCUM is a point of contention in our marriage and something we don't speak about anymore.

OP here: Haha. This made me laugh. When I first had my daughter and didn't know other Moms I was on here way too much and my husband and I would argue over it.

Just to clarify: I wanted to apologize to poor 16:44. This has somehow turned into a bashing 16:44 thread....when really, no matter how you fill your day, if you're not complaining about it the thread wasn't really aimed at you or people like you, but being DCUM, it has turned into a SAHM vs. WOHM debate. The purpose of the thread was not to attack the SAHM. Since I work, I think it may have hit a nerve with other working Moms. I did address the same issue with working Moms who do similar complaining, but no one even mentioned that part of it.

The "I do pilates all day" post was amusing, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't get why people whine about having "friends" who whine.

ha ha! I love bitching about my friends too.

[Anonymous]

I'm confused about 16:44. She said she has three kids, they're all in school but then she said she only makes two lunches. What's up with that, 16:44? Can't fit that third lunch in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm confused about 16:44. She said she has three kids, they're all in school but then she said she only makes two lunches. What's up with that, 16:44? Can't fit that third lunch in?

Maybe one buys lunch at school?

[Anonymous]

Seriously, cut 16:44 some slack -- as 16:21 pointed out, it was what she did ONE day. Are each of your days really all that glamorous and exciting? Hell, even if ALL of her days are carbon copies of the schedule she listed, WHY do you care so much as to harp on her?

P.S. 16:21, you sound like a nice person and are probably a very good friend!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1644 poster made me so thankful that im a WOHM mom. OMG OMG. Thank god that is not my day. I will never ever complain about my dirty house; my stack of chores; my laundry--never. Im so happy to drive one hour to work because if I was to ever list making coffee as something i do in my day, i would want someone to kick me.

I dislike pilates mom and I dislike willing to drive an hour to work mom - you're both on the extreme side on not good

[Anonymous]

You know, defenders of 16:44, she is the one that threw down "a can of whoop ass" in response to OP's question, it was not merely informing people of one day. I read it as her attempt at defining an impressive list of obligations that would justify saying "I just don't have time" in response to some worthwhile request and a challenge to anyone that thinks SAHMs have lots of time. It was an articulation of what a great mom she thinks she is because she does not just feed her kids cereal like the rest of us. Frankly, when I read it I thought she clearly has a lot of time to burn.

I have tried to participate in this discussion without name calling, and it is very hard and there is a lot of deleting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do find there's little tolerance and outright curiosity towards a friend of mine who is very rarely busy and jealously guards her time. She likes to do house projects and be very spontaneous. Doesn't work, kids are all in at least part time school. Doesn't pressure herself to have homecooked meals every night, her house is frankly always a mess and she doesn't look any better than the rest of us. What she excels at is having very little stress.

I'm really jealous of your friend. Sounds like she's figured things out. Good for her. Wish I could be that way (not stressed out, I mean - I don't make homecooked meals very often (and when I do, they taste like crap), my house is a mess, and I still have gobs of baby weight to lose, so I have that in common with her. But I angst about it all.)

My priority in life is to be happy and make my family happy. The crucial ingredient for this is NO STRESS. Therefore, my house is a mess (although meals are cooked from scratch), I often refuse volunteering opportunities (but ace the ones I actually do), I under-schedule activities (but they are always original and fun), and when I go back to work, I will try to find the least stressful position (many thanks to my DH who supports our lifestyle).

Quality over quantity.

[Anonymous]

Don't we all get 24 hours every day?

[Anonymous]

"I love being a working mom and I feel lucky to have the life I live, but for god's sake 16:44 is a mom of three, we don't know anything about her life! This was one day. In one year. I am sure she does other things, like maybe read, pay attention to the news, whatever. "

There was no indication of any intellectual life in her post. She had her shot and she blew it. It's the Net.

[Anonymous]

if you're posting on DCUM, then you clearly have free time!