Moms who complain they have no time but clearly do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man checking out this thread for the first time . . . wow. What a bunch of harpies (on both sides).

Eh, I don't put too much stock in what you say. You're a man. You all don't struggle with the same judgments of being "good moms" and judgments about your choices (being it SAHM/WOHM) to the same extent women do. Not even close. So, you can take your judgment and suck it.

As for me, I've read only a couple pages of this same, tired debate mostly for entertainment value. I think everyone just needs to mind their own business on this front. Whether you SAHM/WOHM, you're going to be busy. It is just different types of busy.

[Anonymous]

I think 16:44's post is a good example of how it is human nature to just fill the time you have, and never feel like you have free time. I don't mean to bash 16:44, because I know any day I am home and my son is in daycare, the day can easily get filled with mundane tasks. Tasks that any other day I would do in a few minutes, but because I have more time, they somehow take longer.

I don't doubt 16:44 is busy, not at all. I also don't doubt that she feels like she has no time. But I also have no doubt if something changed and she needed to, she could fit more into her life (as we all could). Planning dinner doesn't have to be a daily activitiy that sucks up time, it could be done in about 10 minutes a week. Beds don't have to be made. E-mail can be ignored. Things like laundry, dishes and stuff can be done while the kids are home (and I would argue school age kids should be helping).

Anyway, I'm not slamming 16:44. Just pointing out that time is a strange thing. The less you have, the more you learn to squeeze things in. The more you have, the easier it is take longer to do things.

[Anonymous]

"As a man checking out this thread for the first time . . . wow. What a bunch of harpies (on both sides). "

Hags & nagging shrews is a more accurate description.
Bitches looking down their noses at the poor is a special category.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a man checking out this thread for the first time . . . wow. What a bunch of harpies (on both sides).

Eh, I don't put too much stock in what you say. You're a man. You all don't struggle with the same judgments of being "good moms" and judgments about your choices (being it SAHM/WOHM) to the same extent women do. Not even close. So, you can take your judgment and suck it.

As for me, I've read only a couple pages of this same, tired debate mostly for entertainment value. I think everyone just needs to mind their own business on this front. Whether you SAHM/WOHM, you're going to be busy. It is just different types of busy.

My husband has discplined my daughter (verbally) in public twice when he was literally stopped by someone who told him what a great Dad he is. If I even give my daughter a dirty look for bad behavior I get a nasty lecture from a stranger.

[Anonymous]

To 10:07, it's the lack of self awareness. 16:44 doesn't even seem aware that she's let minutiae expand to fill her day.

[Anonymous]

The question here is time for what?

As a WOTH mom, I don't have time to make fancy breakfasts for DS, but he does eat well; I don't have time to make the bed every morning, but we do have warm, dry beds to sleep in; I don't have time to fix toys, but DS does have enough (too many?); I don't have time to volunteer as room parent, but I do volunteer for specific projects.

I do have time to teach other students (I am a teacher); I do have time to contribute to the household income; I do have time for personal growth and satisfaction; I do have time to make an impact on the world that isn't through my own children.

The thing about SAH is that it works for only so long, but once your children are mostly in school, what--with your talents and education--impact will you have on the world around you? How will you give back in a way beyond raising children that will contribute to society (because WOTH moms do this, too)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The question here is time for what?

As a WOTH mom, I don't have time to make fancy breakfasts for DS, but he does eat well; I don't have time to make the bed every morning, but we do have warm, dry beds to sleep in; I don't have time to fix toys, but DS does have enough (too many?); I don't have time to volunteer as room parent, but I do volunteer for specific projects.

I do have time to teach other students (I am a teacher); I do have time to contribute to the household income; I do have time for personal growth and satisfaction; I do have time to make an impact on the world that isn't through my own children.

The thing about SAH is that it works for only so long, but once your children are mostly in school, what--with your talents and education--impact will you have on the world around you? How will you give back in a way beyond raising children that will contribute to society (because WOTH moms do this, too)?

Yes, yes, teacher, you are saving the world!!! Thank goodness there's you.

Seriously, get over yourself. You are just as replaceable in society as the next person.

[Anonymous]

Coaching high school girls has taught me that those girls that pick on and ridicule others are the ones with the least self confidence and assurance. The mean girls are the ones who question their choices (clothes, boyfriends, classes, activities, etc.) so they bully others to make them feel bad too.

DCUM has taught me that grown women still act the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I sometimes wonder if this is isolated to moms or if it's a broader issue in our society. I know so many people, with kids and without, who spend all their time complaining about how busy they are. I have a coworker who never stops complaining about her work load but can find hours to stand in my office yacking. I think sometimes that people equate busy with being important. Honestly, I think that mothers corner the market on busy, but it still seems that lots of people want to be sure that everyone knows how busy/important they are.

I agree it's a mindset. Some people look for stuff to complain about all the time , no matter how much time they have, how much money they have, or what their situation is- it's kind of conditioned into the way they (or most people in our society) think. If we complain about what's going on in our life then we must have a lot going on and be important! My SIL recently quit her job (no kids) and now complains about having to work on her blog, proofread her blog, etc. She's just replacing one thing for another to feel like she has something important going on. Give them a break though, they don't know that they are doing it and probably don't know how to break that pattern. We could all look less for things to complain about (including you OP).

[Anonymous]

"I think sometimes that people equate busy with being important."

Just like in high school!

[Anonymous]

This is 16:44

I find it rather humorous that most of you on this thread are so incredibly affected by my post.

First, I am not offended by anyone's comments as none of you have any idea what kind of person/woman I am or my intellectual level, which is quite high. I am extremely tuned into my surroundings, news etc. So I really could care less about your banter and slandering me because I chose to voice up as a SAHM. I was SIMPLY sharing MY story of life as a stay at home mom who does not how to fill her time, not waste it or let it get away from her.

The original poster opened for discussion/debate the theory that SAHM's complain about not having enough time, I was replying to that. By the way OP, thank you for your apology.

I do not complain about not having enough time and I am extremely happy with my life as a SAHM. I did not bash mothers who work outside of the house, as MANY of you decided to bash me.

I have three children, one is an adult (20yrs old next month) so I do not need to make her lunch . I have two children in elementary school that benefit greatly from the gift I have been given by being able to stay home.

I have worked, even ran my own business at one point. Was a single mother with my oldest for a few years and had to hold down two jobs while raising her during that time on my own. So I know both worlds very well. I have much respect for mothers who work outside the house and also actually raise their children and do everything at home. Again, I never put anyone down for their position, SAHM or WM.

The fact that SO many of you decided to analyze me, from one damn post, ridicule me and try to rip me apart makes me wonder if you are missing something. For why else you would not hold such hostility that you must unleash on a complete stranger.

I will end my time on this thread, which unbelievably is still rolling along due to ONE SAHM's post, mine, with this.

We are MOTHERS. Some of us can rise to the occasion with great ease and some of us struggle a bit more. Some of us are blessed with the ability to be home based for our children/families and some of us have careers/jobs outside of the home. We all work hard in our own way. Some of us are able to toss some fun into our days during the week but are bombarded on the weekends with family stuff, while some mothers spend their weekends catching up with girlfriends etc. It really does not matter. Unless you have walked a mile in my shoes and I yours don't judge, ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is 16:44

I find it rather humorous that most of you on this thread are so incredibly affected by my post.

First, I am not offended by anyone's comments as none of you have any idea what kind of person/woman I am or my intellectual level, which is quite high. I am extremely tuned into my surroundings, news etc. So I really could care less about your banter and slandering me because I chose to voice up as a SAHM. I was SIMPLY sharing MY story of life as a stay at home mom who does not how to fill her time, not waste it or let it get away from her.

The original poster opened for discussion/debate the theory that SAHM's complain about not having enough time, I was replying to that. By the way OP, thank you for your apology.

I do not complain about not having enough time and I am extremely happy with my life as a SAHM. I did not bash mothers who work outside of the house, as MANY of you decided to bash me.

I have three children, one is an adult (20yrs old next month) so I do not need to make her lunch . I have two children in elementary school that benefit greatly from the gift I have been given by being able to stay home.

I have worked, even ran my own business at one point. Was a single mother with my oldest for a few years and had to hold down two jobs while raising her during that time on my own. So I know both worlds very well. I have much respect for mothers who work outside the house and also actually raise their children and do everything at home. Again, I never put anyone down for their position, SAHM or WM.

The fact that SO many of you decided to analyze me, from one damn post, ridicule me and try to rip me apart makes me wonder if you are missing something. For why else you would not hold such hostility that you must unleash on a complete stranger.

I will end my time on this thread, which unbelievably is still rolling along due to ONE SAHM's post, mine, with this.

We are MOTHERS. Some of us can rise to the occasion with great ease and some of us struggle a bit more. Some of us are blessed with the ability to be home based for our children/families and some of us have careers/jobs outside of the home. We all work hard in our own way. Some of us are able to toss some fun into our days during the week but are bombarded on the weekends with family stuff, while some mothers spend their weekends catching up with girlfriends etc. It really does not matter. Unless you have walked a mile in my shoes and I yours don't judge, ever.

Still no scintilla of an intellectual life.

"I have two children in elementary school that benefit greatly from the gift I have been given by being able to stay home. "

"Gift" is code for scary.

"Unless you have walked a mile in my shoes and I yours don't judge, ever."

Huh?

[Anonymous]

"Some of us are blessed with the ability to be home based for our children/families and some of us have careers/jobs outside of the home. "

Why are some of us "blessed" and some not?

[Anonymous]

13:07, you are utterly ridiculous OR you greatly need to work on your reading comprehension skills.

13:10, she never said that others are NOT blessed. She is lucky enough to think that her own life IS blessed. It has no bearing on you at all.

(No, I am not 16:44. I am 11:41 and the behavior I see on DCUM is far more cruel than I have witnessed in years of working with high school girls both as a teacher and a coach.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The question here is time for what?

As a WOTH mom, I don't have time to make fancy breakfasts for DS, but he does eat well; I don't have time to make the bed every morning, but we do have warm, dry beds to sleep in; I don't have time to fix toys, but DS does have enough (too many?); I don't have time to volunteer as room parent, but I do volunteer for specific projects.

I do have time to teach other students (I am a teacher); I do have time to contribute to the household income; I do have time for personal growth and satisfaction; I do have time to make an impact on the world that isn't through my own children.

The thing about SAH is that it works for only so long, but once your children are mostly in school, what--with your talents and education--impact will you have on the world around you? How will you give back in a way beyond raising children that will contribute to society (because WOTH moms do this, too)?

Life is just too short for us moms to be judging each other like this. Please don't concern yourself with how I may or may not contribute to society as SAHM. That's a deeply personal thing.