Boyfriend dropped big news

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

I was the one who called you that, not the pp above and it was well deserved. And it wasn't just because you called him a pedophile with no proof, but because of the entirety of your first post. But I will continue to call you that as long as you keep calling me a pedophile apologist for using the correct terminology. And I've responded plenty to OP, you just don't know it.

I dont really care what you think, but using a personal insult because you don't like the terminology is childish and just makes your point less valid. I wouldn't want to date someone supporting their parents, nor would I want to date someone supporting their sibling. I definitely, 100000% wouldn't want to date someone supporting their sibling charged with sex offences against minors. I gave my reasons why, if you disagree and are totes fine with it, maybe OP can hook you up with this guy once they split. Good luck to your children, may the odds be in their favor.

Perhaps it makes you not want to take them seriously but tone/messenger do not convey validity or nonvalidity on a point.

Team other PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

I was the one who called you that, not the pp above and it was well deserved. And it wasn't just because you called him a pedophile with no proof, but because of the entirety of your first post. But I will continue to call you that as long as you keep calling me a pedophile apologist for using the correct terminology. And I've responded plenty to OP, you just don't know it.

I dont really care what you think, but using a personal insult because you don't like the terminology is childish and just makes your point less valid. I wouldn't want to date someone supporting their parents, nor would I want to date someone supporting their sibling. I definitely, 100000% wouldn't want to date someone supporting their sibling charged with sex offences against minors. I gave my reasons why, if you disagree and are totes fine with it, maybe OP can hook you up with this guy once they split. Good luck to your children, may the odds be in their favor.

In case you were wondering why I called you a shit person, that's why!!!!! And I similarly don't care what you think. I care about labels and facts. You don't have a grasp on either. Have a good day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best case scenario is that the sexual relations was a humnaly but it legally consensual act that was a terrible decision, and I hope it was something like a grope and not a full on rape. And maybe the brother manages to meet an adult in a compatible life, and they pair off and your brother provides loos supervision.

But not necessarily likely.

How autistic is this?
Verbal?
Able to hold a basic job? Professional job?
Prone to violence or just extremely awkward and irresponsible around children?

OP here. Boyfriend said that the autism brings significant impairments to his brother. That it is hard for him to stay employed and he is not able to make enough money to care for himself. he requires supervision due to poor decision making. He’s never lived alone, only with their parents.

To answer an earlier question boyfriend is 35.

NP. Based on your post above: The transition from living with the parents to living with your boyfriend would, just by itself, be difficult enough for the brother. Imagine adding you, a stranger to him, into that mix, and his adjustment could end up incredibly difficult for everyone involved. Just, no.

Also: This jumps out at me: "He requires supervision due to poor decision making." Hard no on living in the same household. Especially if kids are at all something you want, OP.

Has your boyfriend really thought this through on EVERY level, I wonder? What happens if your boyfriend dies before his parents do--where does brother go when the parents die? What if parents die, brother lives with your boyfriend, and then boyfriend dies before brother does--where does bro go then? Has no one, either parents or boyfriend, ever looked into some form of care for the brother other than in a family home? Yes, expensive, but frankly it's crazy if the family has zero plans for what to do with brother if parents AND sibling cannot be there to provide his home. Your boyfriend's time would be better spent right now figuring out a plan for brother that kicks in when the parents die.

BUT, OP, I am NOT saying that with any meaning that you should stay with boyfriend and hope brother doesn't live with you. No, no, no. I'm only saying: This whole family seems not to have planned concretely for the possibilities like deaths in the family, or getting the brother into any social services that could help him (and them). I would not become part of this mess at all. Tell boyfriend now that your priorities and his do not mesh. Get out ASAP so that you and he can both move on. If boyfriend tries to convince you he'll find some other option for his brother....I would not trust it. Boyfriend has clearly been planning on this forever and I would not trust any statements that you get priority. You just won't.

I'm so sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

He could be a charismatic easy going guy I enjoy spending time with a clean record full of doing good in the world.

I still wouldn't want to plan on living my life with another adult that is not my significant other. Nevermind the man's issues, do you want to have a permanent roommate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

You are the one incessantly arguing this and telling the pp they don't think p@dophilia is a big deal and are apologists for r@pe.

This issue is relevant to OP's issue because there is a significant difference between the scenarios. There is zero chance I would ever have children with someone committed to having a se*ual predator in the house at any time, living with us or visiting or even like, nearby enough for regular visits. I would not even want to live in that house myself if the perpetrator was se*ually violence.

I would feel substantially different about a situation where an autistic teenager had a consensual but illegal relationship with a 14 year old that they were developmentally in line with. I would be open to that living situation for just myself (OP doesn't necessarily want children) and I would be open to having that person in my children's lives.

Someone who gets drunk and pees on a statue at a football game also gets put on the se* offender list but that doesn't mean they are necessarily a person to be feared.

This is a legitimate issue that impacts the OP's situation and your oversimplification and inflammatory rhetoric about a disabled man is not helping anyone other than your own amusement.

Why is a 14 year old "accusing" this man if it was consensual? You are assuming she wasn't just straight up raped. Your oversimplification of some sort of star crossed lovers who just happened to be a minor and an adult is not helping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

I was the one who called you that, not the pp above and it was well deserved. And it wasn't just because you called him a pedophile with no proof, but because of the entirety of your first post. But I will continue to call you that as long as you keep calling me a pedophile apologist for using the correct terminology. And I've responded plenty to OP, you just don't know it.

I dont really care what you think, but using a personal insult because you don't like the terminology is childish and just makes your point less valid. I wouldn't want to date someone supporting their parents, nor would I want to date someone supporting their sibling. I definitely, 100000% wouldn't want to date someone supporting their sibling charged with sex offences against minors. I gave my reasons why, if you disagree and are totes fine with it, maybe OP can hook you up with this guy once they split. Good luck to your children, may the odds be in their favor.

In case you were wondering why I called you a shit person, that's why!!!!! And I similarly don't care what you think. I care about labels and facts. You don't have a grasp on either. Have a good day.

I dont think not wanting to support a sex offender makes anyone a shit person, but you do you boo! Plenty of sex offenders out there for you I'm sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

When I was 15, I was targeted by a "developmentally struggling" 19 year old. It was extremely traumatic for me and exposed me to things I did not know about and was not ready for.

People vastly underestimate the amount of manipulation a 19 year old guy will use to get "consent" from a 14/15 year old. I have a 14 year old DD, and I also employ a couple 19 year old guys. Their maturity levels, what they have been exposed to, and expectations for relationships are wildly different.

It's not consent because a 15 year old does not know what they are consenting to. It's sort of like - you can get a small child to "consent" to a shot at the doctor if they've never had a shot before, you promise them it won't hurt a bit and that they'll get candy or a toy afterwards. Any child would consent to that. But the experience itself is VASTLY different than what was promised by an older person they trusted.

And it's not at all like shoplifting. Shoplifting does not cause permanent damage and trauma to another person. Maybe it's more like robbing an 8 year old vs a 14 year old at gunpoint. Both will be traumatized, but perhaps the 14 year old less so.

I am the PP. I am sorry for your situation. It points to the fact that these scenarios are extremely nuanced and very difficult to paint with a broad brush. Many times these relationships are consensual. But also there are plenty of times where they are not and that is why it is against the law.

I am not at all talking about the goodness or badness of statutory rape. I think those crimes are basically impossible to broadly discuss and that by their very nature are complex and must be examined on an individual basis. I was in a relationship with a 33 year old when I was 18 and feel similarly about that experience being unpleasant and like that man did many wrong things. Not illegal by one year but just to say I do understand that relationships with power imbalances are not good.

For OP, this is a question of whether this behavior would be replicated towards her or any children she might have, and the specific details matter a lot when trying to extrapolate to her situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

I was the one who called you that, not the pp above and it was well deserved. And it wasn't just because you called him a pedophile with no proof, but because of the entirety of your first post. But I will continue to call you that as long as you keep calling me a pedophile apologist for using the correct terminology. And I've responded plenty to OP, you just don't know it.

I dont really care what you think, but using a personal insult because you don't like the terminology is childish and just makes your point less valid. I wouldn't want to date someone supporting their parents, nor would I want to date someone supporting their sibling. I definitely, 100000% wouldn't want to date someone supporting their sibling charged with sex offences against minors. I gave my reasons why, if you disagree and are totes fine with it, maybe OP can hook you up with this guy once they split. Good luck to your children, may the odds be in their favor.

In case you were wondering why I called you a shit person, that's why!!!!! And I similarly don't care what you think. I care about labels and facts. You don't have a grasp on either. Have a good day.

I dont think not wanting to support a sex offender makes anyone a shit person, but you do you boo! Plenty of sex offenders out there for you I'm sure.

I will thanks. Read the part I bolded for you though. Don't pretend you didn't see it. That is completely separate from any possible sex offender allegations. Apparently you would never, under any circumstances support any family member, boo. So yes, in my book you're not a good person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

When I was 15, I was targeted by a "developmentally struggling" 19 year old. It was extremely traumatic for me and exposed me to things I did not know about and was not ready for.

People vastly underestimate the amount of manipulation a 19 year old guy will use to get "consent" from a 14/15 year old. I have a 14 year old DD, and I also employ a couple 19 year old guys. Their maturity levels, what they have been exposed to, and expectations for relationships are wildly different.

It's not consent because a 15 year old does not know what they are consenting to. It's sort of like - you can get a small child to "consent" to a shot at the doctor if they've never had a shot before, you promise them it won't hurt a bit and that they'll get candy or a toy afterwards. Any child would consent to that. But the experience itself is VASTLY different than what was promised by an older person they trusted.

And it's not at all like shoplifting. Shoplifting does not cause permanent damage and trauma to another person. Maybe it's more like robbing an 8 year old vs a 14 year old at gunpoint. Both will be traumatized, but perhaps the 14 year old less so.

I am the PP. I am sorry for your situation. It points to the fact that these scenarios are extremely nuanced and very difficult to paint with a broad brush. Many times these relationships are consensual. But also there are plenty of times where they are not and that is why it is against the law.

I am not at all talking about the goodness or badness of statutory rape. I think those crimes are basically impossible to broadly discuss and that by their very nature are complex and must be examined on an individual basis. I was in a relationship with a 33 year old when I was 18 and feel similarly about that experience being unpleasant and like that man did many wrong things. Not illegal by one year but just to say I do understand that relationships with power imbalances are not good.

For OP, this is a question of whether this behavior would be replicated towards her or any children she might have, and the specific details matter a lot when trying to extrapolate to her situation.

Yikes, it all makes sense now. Abuse begets abuse.

[Anonymous]

You don't want autist babies. Dump him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

I was the one who called you that, not the pp above and it was well deserved. And it wasn't just because you called him a pedophile with no proof, but because of the entirety of your first post. But I will continue to call you that as long as you keep calling me a pedophile apologist for using the correct terminology. And I've responded plenty to OP, you just don't know it.

I dont really care what you think, but using a personal insult because you don't like the terminology is childish and just makes your point less valid. I wouldn't want to date someone supporting their parents, nor would I want to date someone supporting their sibling. I definitely, 100000% wouldn't want to date someone supporting their sibling charged with sex offences against minors. I gave my reasons why, if you disagree and are totes fine with it, maybe OP can hook you up with this guy once they split. Good luck to your children, may the odds be in their favor.

In case you were wondering why I called you a shit person, that's why!!!!! And I similarly don't care what you think. I care about labels and facts. You don't have a grasp on either. Have a good day.

I dont think not wanting to support a sex offender makes anyone a shit person, but you do you boo! Plenty of sex offenders out there for you I'm sure.

I will thanks. Read the part I bolded for you though. Don't pretend you didn't see it. That is completely separate from any possible sex offender allegations. Apparently you would never, under any circumstances support any family member, boo. So yes, in my book you're not a good person.

I'm married to someone that comes from a culture of supporting elders, and I made it very clear that I wasn't down for that. I won't apologize for putting my husband and children before parents or siblings. I refuse to be a doormat and enjoy my peaceful life with boundaries in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't want autist babies. Dump him.

I would have 10 AUTISTIC babies before I would ever want to bring someone like you into the world.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

You are the one incessantly arguing this and telling the pp they don't think p@dophilia is a big deal and are apologists for r@pe.

This issue is relevant to OP's issue because there is a significant difference between the scenarios. There is zero chance I would ever have children with someone committed to having a se*ual predator in the house at any time, living with us or visiting or even like, nearby enough for regular visits. I would not even want to live in that house myself if the perpetrator was se*ually violence.

I would feel substantially different about a situation where an autistic teenager had a consensual but illegal relationship with a 14 year old that they were developmentally in line with. I would be open to that living situation for just myself (OP doesn't necessarily want children) and I would be open to having that person in my children's lives.

Someone who gets drunk and pees on a statue at a football game also gets put on the se* offender list but that doesn't mean they are necessarily a person to be feared.

This is a legitimate issue that impacts the OP's situation and your oversimplification and inflammatory rhetoric about a disabled man is not helping anyone other than your own amusement.

Why is a 14 year old "accusing" this man if it was consensual? You are assuming she wasn't just straight up raped. Your oversimplification of some sort of star crossed lovers who just happened to be a minor and an adult is not helping.

We have no idea if the 14 year old is accusing. It could be a parent, it could be a teacher, it could have been discovered in a way that a third party reported it. None of which makes the relationship ok. It just means different things for OP's calculus.

I am simply saying the details matter and you are rejecting that premise are you refuse to entertain the possibility that there are shades of grey here. And that is the difference between this and p*dophilia of course. There are NO shades of grey when it comes to a se*ual relationship with a young child. Zero.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

I was the one who called you that, not the pp above and it was well deserved. And it wasn't just because you called him a pedophile with no proof, but because of the entirety of your first post. But I will continue to call you that as long as you keep calling me a pedophile apologist for using the correct terminology. And I've responded plenty to OP, you just don't know it.

I dont really care what you think, but using a personal insult because you don't like the terminology is childish and just makes your point less valid. I wouldn't want to date someone supporting their parents, nor would I want to date someone supporting their sibling. I definitely, 100000% wouldn't want to date someone supporting their sibling charged with sex offences against minors. I gave my reasons why, if you disagree and are totes fine with it, maybe OP can hook you up with this guy once they split. Good luck to your children, may the odds be in their favor.

In case you were wondering why I called you a shit person, that's why!!!!! And I similarly don't care what you think. I care about labels and facts. You don't have a grasp on either. Have a good day.

I dont think not wanting to support a sex offender makes anyone a shit person, but you do you boo! Plenty of sex offenders out there for you I'm sure.

I will thanks. Read the part I bolded for you though. Don't pretend you didn't see it. That is completely separate from any possible sex offender allegations. Apparently you would never, under any circumstances support any family member, boo. So yes, in my book you're not a good person.

I'm married to someone that comes from a culture of supporting elders, and I made it very clear that I wasn't down for that. I won't apologize for putting my husband and children before parents or siblings. I refuse to be a doormat and enjoy my peaceful life with boundaries in place.

HAHAHAHAHAHA is that what you're doing????? Because you totally don't come across as a selfish dick to me. I hope your children treat you the way you've been treating your family one day and "out their children first."

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

You are the one incessantly arguing this and telling the pp they don't think p@dophilia is a big deal and are apologists for r@pe.

This issue is relevant to OP's issue because there is a significant difference between the scenarios. There is zero chance I would ever have children with someone committed to having a se*ual predator in the house at any time, living with us or visiting or even like, nearby enough for regular visits. I would not even want to live in that house myself if the perpetrator was se*ually violence.

I would feel substantially different about a situation where an autistic teenager had a consensual but illegal relationship with a 14 year old that they were developmentally in line with. I would be open to that living situation for just myself (OP doesn't necessarily want children) and I would be open to having that person in my children's lives.

Someone who gets drunk and pees on a statue at a football game also gets put on the se* offender list but that doesn't mean they are necessarily a person to be feared.

This is a legitimate issue that impacts the OP's situation and your oversimplification and inflammatory rhetoric about a disabled man is not helping anyone other than your own amusement.

Why is a 14 year old "accusing" this man if it was consensual? You are assuming she wasn't just straight up raped. Your oversimplification of some sort of star crossed lovers who just happened to be a minor and an adult is not helping.

We have no idea if the 14 year old is accusing. It could be a parent, it could be a teacher, it could have been discovered in a way that a third party reported it. None of which makes the relationship ok. It just means different things for OP's calculus.

I am simply saying the details matter and you are rejecting that premise are you refuse to entertain the possibility that there are shades of grey here. And that is the difference between this and p*dophilia of course. There are NO shades of grey when it comes to a se*ual relationship with a young child. Zero.

Thank you! Some of the PPs are completely incapable of nuance and thinking about things rationally or, absent of that, considering that the law already distinguished between so many forms of sexual abuse. Details matter.