Boyfriend dropped big news

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

When I was 15, I was targeted by a "developmentally struggling" 19 year old. It was extremely traumatic for me and exposed me to things I did not know about and was not ready for.

People vastly underestimate the amount of manipulation a 19 year old guy will use to get "consent" from a 14/15 year old. I have a 14 year old DD, and I also employ a couple 19 year old guys. Their maturity levels, what they have been exposed to, and expectations for relationships are wildly different.

It's not consent because a 15 year old does not know what they are consenting to. It's sort of like - you can get a small child to "consent" to a shot at the doctor if they've never had a shot before, you promise them it won't hurt a bit and that they'll get candy or a toy afterwards. Any child would consent to that. But the experience itself is VASTLY different than what was promised by an older person they trusted.

And it's not at all like shoplifting. Shoplifting does not cause permanent damage and trauma to another person. Maybe it's more like robbing an 8 year old vs a 14 year old at gunpoint. Both will be traumatized, but perhaps the 14 year old less so.

I am the PP. I am sorry for your situation. It points to the fact that these scenarios are extremely nuanced and very difficult to paint with a broad brush. Many times these relationships are consensual. But also there are plenty of times where they are not and that is why it is against the law.

I am not at all talking about the goodness or badness of statutory rape. I think those crimes are basically impossible to broadly discuss and that by their very nature are complex and must be examined on an individual basis. I was in a relationship with a 33 year old when I was 18 and feel similarly about that experience being unpleasant and like that man did many wrong things. Not illegal by one year but just to say I do understand that relationships with power imbalances are not good.

For OP, this is a question of whether this behavior would be replicated towards her or any children she might have, and the specific details matter a lot when trying to extrapolate to her situation.

You seem to be ignoring the fact that brother needs 24/7 supervision due to "poor decision making"? And that he will never earn enough to support himself? What about if she will have to move further away from schools or daycares? What if they get rejected from private because they do a check and find out they live with a sex offender?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

You are the one incessantly arguing this and telling the pp they don't think p@dophilia is a big deal and are apologists for r@pe.

This issue is relevant to OP's issue because there is a significant difference between the scenarios. There is zero chance I would ever have children with someone committed to having a se*ual predator in the house at any time, living with us or visiting or even like, nearby enough for regular visits. I would not even want to live in that house myself if the perpetrator was se*ually violence.

I would feel substantially different about a situation where an autistic teenager had a consensual but illegal relationship with a 14 year old that they were developmentally in line with. I would be open to that living situation for just myself (OP doesn't necessarily want children) and I would be open to having that person in my children's lives.

Someone who gets drunk and pees on a statue at a football game also gets put on the se* offender list but that doesn't mean they are necessarily a person to be feared.

This is a legitimate issue that impacts the OP's situation and your oversimplification and inflammatory rhetoric about a disabled man is not helping anyone other than your own amusement.

Why is a 14 year old "accusing" this man if it was consensual? You are assuming she wasn't just straight up raped. Your oversimplification of some sort of star crossed lovers who just happened to be a minor and an adult is not helping.

We have no idea if the 14 year old is accusing. It could be a parent, it could be a teacher, it could have been discovered in a way that a third party reported it. None of which makes the relationship ok. It just means different things for OP's calculus.

I am simply saying the details matter and you are rejecting that premise are you refuse to entertain the possibility that there are shades of grey here. And that is the difference between this and p*dophilia of course. There are NO shades of grey when it comes to a se*ual relationship with a young child. Zero.

So now you want to disregard what the OP says?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

When I was 15, I was targeted by a "developmentally struggling" 19 year old. It was extremely traumatic for me and exposed me to things I did not know about and was not ready for.

People vastly underestimate the amount of manipulation a 19 year old guy will use to get "consent" from a 14/15 year old. I have a 14 year old DD, and I also employ a couple 19 year old guys. Their maturity levels, what they have been exposed to, and expectations for relationships are wildly different.

It's not consent because a 15 year old does not know what they are consenting to. It's sort of like - you can get a small child to "consent" to a shot at the doctor if they've never had a shot before, you promise them it won't hurt a bit and that they'll get candy or a toy afterwards. Any child would consent to that. But the experience itself is VASTLY different than what was promised by an older person they trusted.

And it's not at all like shoplifting. Shoplifting does not cause permanent damage and trauma to another person. Maybe it's more like robbing an 8 year old vs a 14 year old at gunpoint. Both will be traumatized, but perhaps the 14 year old less so.

I am the PP. I am sorry for your situation. It points to the fact that these scenarios are extremely nuanced and very difficult to paint with a broad brush. Many times these relationships are consensual. But also there are plenty of times where they are not and that is why it is against the law.

I am not at all talking about the goodness or badness of statutory rape. I think those crimes are basically impossible to broadly discuss and that by their very nature are complex and must be examined on an individual basis. I was in a relationship with a 33 year old when I was 18 and feel similarly about that experience being unpleasant and like that man did many wrong things. Not illegal by one year but just to say I do understand that relationships with power imbalances are not good.

For OP, this is a question of whether this behavior would be replicated towards her or any children she might have, and the specific details matter a lot when trying to extrapolate to her situation.

You seem to be ignoring the fact that brother needs 24/7 supervision due to "poor decision making"? And that he will never earn enough to support himself? What about if she will have to move further away from schools or daycares? What if they get rejected from private because they do a check and find out they live with a sex offender?

Well you yourself are ignoring many things OP has said and that I have said so check back in when you read the whole thread.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

I was the one who called you that, not the pp above and it was well deserved. And it wasn't just because you called him a pedophile with no proof, but because of the entirety of your first post. But I will continue to call you that as long as you keep calling me a pedophile apologist for using the correct terminology. And I've responded plenty to OP, you just don't know it.

I dont really care what you think, but using a personal insult because you don't like the terminology is childish and just makes your point less valid. I wouldn't want to date someone supporting their parents, nor would I want to date someone supporting their sibling. I definitely, 100000% wouldn't want to date someone supporting their sibling charged with sex offences against minors. I gave my reasons why, if you disagree and are totes fine with it, maybe OP can hook you up with this guy once they split. Good luck to your children, may the odds be in their favor.

In case you were wondering why I called you a shit person, that's why!!!!! And I similarly don't care what you think. I care about labels and facts. You don't have a grasp on either. Have a good day.

I dont think not wanting to support a sex offender makes anyone a shit person, but you do you boo! Plenty of sex offenders out there for you I'm sure.

I will thanks. Read the part I bolded for you though. Don't pretend you didn't see it. That is completely separate from any possible sex offender allegations. Apparently you would never, under any circumstances support any family member, boo. So yes, in my book you're not a good person.

I'm married to someone that comes from a culture of supporting elders, and I made it very clear that I wasn't down for that. I won't apologize for putting my husband and children before parents or siblings. I refuse to be a doormat and enjoy my peaceful life with boundaries in place.

HAHAHAHAHAHA is that what you're doing????? Because you totally don't come across as a selfish dick to me. I hope your children treat you the way you've been treating your family one day and "out their children first."

Ooh more personal insults, you are so crafty. I 100% hope my children put their children first. That's literally the point of being a parent.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

You are the one incessantly arguing this and telling the pp they don't think p@dophilia is a big deal and are apologists for r@pe.

This issue is relevant to OP's issue because there is a significant difference between the scenarios. There is zero chance I would ever have children with someone committed to having a se*ual predator in the house at any time, living with us or visiting or even like, nearby enough for regular visits. I would not even want to live in that house myself if the perpetrator was se*ually violence.

I would feel substantially different about a situation where an autistic teenager had a consensual but illegal relationship with a 14 year old that they were developmentally in line with. I would be open to that living situation for just myself (OP doesn't necessarily want children) and I would be open to having that person in my children's lives.

Someone who gets drunk and pees on a statue at a football game also gets put on the se* offender list but that doesn't mean they are necessarily a person to be feared.

This is a legitimate issue that impacts the OP's situation and your oversimplification and inflammatory rhetoric about a disabled man is not helping anyone other than your own amusement.

Why is a 14 year old "accusing" this man if it was consensual? You are assuming she wasn't just straight up raped. Your oversimplification of some sort of star crossed lovers who just happened to be a minor and an adult is not helping.

We have no idea if the 14 year old is accusing. It could be a parent, it could be a teacher, it could have been discovered in a way that a third party reported it. None of which makes the relationship ok. It just means different things for OP's calculus.

I am simply saying the details matter and you are rejecting that premise are you refuse to entertain the possibility that there are shades of grey here. And that is the difference between this and p*dophilia of course. There are NO shades of grey when it comes to a se*ual relationship with a young child. Zero.

So now you want to disregard what the OP says?

I don't think there is enough specificity in the OP. I will say, unequivocally, if it will make you so happy, that of course if this boy assaulted and r*ped a 14 year old then they are a violent se*ual predator and I would not want to live with that person or have them in my life in any way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

When I was 15, I was targeted by a "developmentally struggling" 19 year old. It was extremely traumatic for me and exposed me to things I did not know about and was not ready for.

People vastly underestimate the amount of manipulation a 19 year old guy will use to get "consent" from a 14/15 year old. I have a 14 year old DD, and I also employ a couple 19 year old guys. Their maturity levels, what they have been exposed to, and expectations for relationships are wildly different.

It's not consent because a 15 year old does not know what they are consenting to. It's sort of like - you can get a small child to "consent" to a shot at the doctor if they've never had a shot before, you promise them it won't hurt a bit and that they'll get candy or a toy afterwards. Any child would consent to that. But the experience itself is VASTLY different than what was promised by an older person they trusted.

And it's not at all like shoplifting. Shoplifting does not cause permanent damage and trauma to another person. Maybe it's more like robbing an 8 year old vs a 14 year old at gunpoint. Both will be traumatized, but perhaps the 14 year old less so.

I am the PP. I am sorry for your situation. It points to the fact that these scenarios are extremely nuanced and very difficult to paint with a broad brush. Many times these relationships are consensual. But also there are plenty of times where they are not and that is why it is against the law.

I am not at all talking about the goodness or badness of statutory rape. I think those crimes are basically impossible to broadly discuss and that by their very nature are complex and must be examined on an individual basis. I was in a relationship with a 33 year old when I was 18 and feel similarly about that experience being unpleasant and like that man did many wrong things. Not illegal by one year but just to say I do understand that relationships with power imbalances are not good.

For OP, this is a question of whether this behavior would be replicated towards her or any children she might have, and the specific details matter a lot when trying to extrapolate to her situation.

You seem to be ignoring the fact that brother needs 24/7 supervision due to "poor decision making"? And that he will never earn enough to support himself? What about if she will have to move further away from schools or daycares? What if they get rejected from private because they do a check and find out they live with a sex offender?

Well you yourself are ignoring many things OP has said and that I have said so check back in when you read the whole thread.

Well you are trying to convince OP to keep a child sex offender in her home. It's bizarre that you aren't considering the EXTREME circumstances that would bring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

I was the one who called you that, not the pp above and it was well deserved. And it wasn't just because you called him a pedophile with no proof, but because of the entirety of your first post. But I will continue to call you that as long as you keep calling me a pedophile apologist for using the correct terminology. And I've responded plenty to OP, you just don't know it.

I dont really care what you think, but using a personal insult because you don't like the terminology is childish and just makes your point less valid. I wouldn't want to date someone supporting their parents, nor would I want to date someone supporting their sibling. I definitely, 100000% wouldn't want to date someone supporting their sibling charged with sex offences against minors. I gave my reasons why, if you disagree and are totes fine with it, maybe OP can hook you up with this guy once they split. Good luck to your children, may the odds be in their favor.

In case you were wondering why I called you a shit person, that's why!!!!! And I similarly don't care what you think. I care about labels and facts. You don't have a grasp on either. Have a good day.

I dont think not wanting to support a sex offender makes anyone a shit person, but you do you boo! Plenty of sex offenders out there for you I'm sure.

I will thanks. Read the part I bolded for you though. Don't pretend you didn't see it. That is completely separate from any possible sex offender allegations. Apparently you would never, under any circumstances support any family member, boo. So yes, in my book you're not a good person.

I'm married to someone that comes from a culture of supporting elders, and I made it very clear that I wasn't down for that. I won't apologize for putting my husband and children before parents or siblings. I refuse to be a doormat and enjoy my peaceful life with boundaries in place.

HAHAHAHAHAHA is that what you're doing????? Because you totally don't come across as a selfish dick to me. I hope your children treat you the way you've been treating your family one day and "out their children first."

Ooh more personal insults, you are so crafty. I 100% hope my children put their children first. That's literally the point of being a parent.

Sarcasm is not your strong suit. That tracks. For the record, you have never put anyone cared about anyone other than yourself your while life. And perhaps read your own posts if you are looking for crafty personal insults. At least I know I'm deliberately offending you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

You are the one incessantly arguing this and telling the pp they don't think p@dophilia is a big deal and are apologists for r@pe.

This issue is relevant to OP's issue because there is a significant difference between the scenarios. There is zero chance I would ever have children with someone committed to having a se*ual predator in the house at any time, living with us or visiting or even like, nearby enough for regular visits. I would not even want to live in that house myself if the perpetrator was se*ually violence.

I would feel substantially different about a situation where an autistic teenager had a consensual but illegal relationship with a 14 year old that they were developmentally in line with. I would be open to that living situation for just myself (OP doesn't necessarily want children) and I would be open to having that person in my children's lives.

Someone who gets drunk and pees on a statue at a football game also gets put on the se* offender list but that doesn't mean they are necessarily a person to be feared.

This is a legitimate issue that impacts the OP's situation and your oversimplification and inflammatory rhetoric about a disabled man is not helping anyone other than your own amusement.

Why is a 14 year old "accusing" this man if it was consensual? You are assuming she wasn't just straight up raped. Your oversimplification of some sort of star crossed lovers who just happened to be a minor and an adult is not helping.

We have no idea if the 14 year old is accusing. It could be a parent, it could be a teacher, it could have been discovered in a way that a third party reported it. None of which makes the relationship ok. It just means different things for OP's calculus.

I am simply saying the details matter and you are rejecting that premise are you refuse to entertain the possibility that there are shades of grey here. And that is the difference between this and p*dophilia of course. There are NO shades of grey when it comes to a se*ual relationship with a young child. Zero.

Thank you! Some of the PPs are completely incapable of nuance and thinking about things rationally or, absent of that, considering that the law already distinguished between so many forms of sexual abuse. Details matter.

I would say they are trolls but these type of people always come out in the worst situations. Judgmental to their very core. Generally very up on their own ego and assured that they will never do anything wrong. And think they are good people!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

When I was 15, I was targeted by a "developmentally struggling" 19 year old. It was extremely traumatic for me and exposed me to things I did not know about and was not ready for.

People vastly underestimate the amount of manipulation a 19 year old guy will use to get "consent" from a 14/15 year old. I have a 14 year old DD, and I also employ a couple 19 year old guys. Their maturity levels, what they have been exposed to, and expectations for relationships are wildly different.

It's not consent because a 15 year old does not know what they are consenting to. It's sort of like - you can get a small child to "consent" to a shot at the doctor if they've never had a shot before, you promise them it won't hurt a bit and that they'll get candy or a toy afterwards. Any child would consent to that. But the experience itself is VASTLY different than what was promised by an older person they trusted.

And it's not at all like shoplifting. Shoplifting does not cause permanent damage and trauma to another person. Maybe it's more like robbing an 8 year old vs a 14 year old at gunpoint. Both will be traumatized, but perhaps the 14 year old less so.

I am the PP. I am sorry for your situation. It points to the fact that these scenarios are extremely nuanced and very difficult to paint with a broad brush. Many times these relationships are consensual. But also there are plenty of times where they are not and that is why it is against the law.

I am not at all talking about the goodness or badness of statutory rape. I think those crimes are basically impossible to broadly discuss and that by their very nature are complex and must be examined on an individual basis. I was in a relationship with a 33 year old when I was 18 and feel similarly about that experience being unpleasant and like that man did many wrong things. Not illegal by one year but just to say I do understand that relationships with power imbalances are not good.

For OP, this is a question of whether this behavior would be replicated towards her or any children she might have, and the specific details matter a lot when trying to extrapolate to her situation.

You seem to be ignoring the fact that brother needs 24/7 supervision due to "poor decision making"? And that he will never earn enough to support himself? What about if she will have to move further away from schools or daycares? What if they get rejected from private because they do a check and find out they live with a sex offender?

Well you yourself are ignoring many things OP has said and that I have said so check back in when you read the whole thread.

Well you are trying to convince OP to keep a child sex offender in her home. It's bizarre that you aren't considering the EXTREME circumstances that would bring.

No I am not trying to convince OP of that. No one is.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

I was the one who called you that, not the pp above and it was well deserved. And it wasn't just because you called him a pedophile with no proof, but because of the entirety of your first post. But I will continue to call you that as long as you keep calling me a pedophile apologist for using the correct terminology. And I've responded plenty to OP, you just don't know it.

I dont really care what you think, but using a personal insult because you don't like the terminology is childish and just makes your point less valid. I wouldn't want to date someone supporting their parents, nor would I want to date someone supporting their sibling. I definitely, 100000% wouldn't want to date someone supporting their sibling charged with sex offences against minors. I gave my reasons why, if you disagree and are totes fine with it, maybe OP can hook you up with this guy once they split. Good luck to your children, may the odds be in their favor.

In case you were wondering why I called you a shit person, that's why!!!!! And I similarly don't care what you think. I care about labels and facts. You don't have a grasp on either. Have a good day.

I dont think not wanting to support a sex offender makes anyone a shit person, but you do you boo! Plenty of sex offenders out there for you I'm sure.

I will thanks. Read the part I bolded for you though. Don't pretend you didn't see it. That is completely separate from any possible sex offender allegations. Apparently you would never, under any circumstances support any family member, boo. So yes, in my book you're not a good person.

I'm married to someone that comes from a culture of supporting elders, and I made it very clear that I wasn't down for that. I won't apologize for putting my husband and children before parents or siblings. I refuse to be a doormat and enjoy my peaceful life with boundaries in place.

HAHAHAHAHAHA is that what you're doing????? Because you totally don't come across as a selfish dick to me. I hope your children treat you the way you've been treating your family one day and "out their children first."

Ooh more personal insults, you are so crafty. I 100% hope my children put their children first. That's literally the point of being a parent.

Sarcasm is not your strong suit. That tracks. For the record, you have never put anyone cared about anyone other than yourself your while life. And perhaps read your own posts if you are looking for crafty personal insults. At least I know I'm deliberately offending you.

Lol. Keep telling me all you know about me, you clearly know me better than I or my own family does. I hope your children put their children first as well.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

I was the one who called you that, not the pp above and it was well deserved. And it wasn't just because you called him a pedophile with no proof, but because of the entirety of your first post. But I will continue to call you that as long as you keep calling me a pedophile apologist for using the correct terminology. And I've responded plenty to OP, you just don't know it.

I dont really care what you think, but using a personal insult because you don't like the terminology is childish and just makes your point less valid. I wouldn't want to date someone supporting their parents, nor would I want to date someone supporting their sibling. I definitely, 100000% wouldn't want to date someone supporting their sibling charged with sex offences against minors. I gave my reasons why, if you disagree and are totes fine with it, maybe OP can hook you up with this guy once they split. Good luck to your children, may the odds be in their favor.

In case you were wondering why I called you a shit person, that's why!!!!! And I similarly don't care what you think. I care about labels and facts. You don't have a grasp on either. Have a good day.

I dont think not wanting to support a sex offender makes anyone a shit person, but you do you boo! Plenty of sex offenders out there for you I'm sure.

I will thanks. Read the part I bolded for you though. Don't pretend you didn't see it. That is completely separate from any possible sex offender allegations. Apparently you would never, under any circumstances support any family member, boo. So yes, in my book you're not a good person.

I'm married to someone that comes from a culture of supporting elders, and I made it very clear that I wasn't down for that. I won't apologize for putting my husband and children before parents or siblings. I refuse to be a doormat and enjoy my peaceful life with boundaries in place.

HAHAHAHAHAHA is that what you're doing????? Because you totally don't come across as a selfish dick to me. I hope your children treat you the way you've been treating your family one day and "out their children first."

Ooh more personal insults, you are so crafty. I 100% hope my children put their children first. That's literally the point of being a parent.

Sarcasm is not your strong suit. That tracks. For the record, you have never put anyone cared about anyone other than yourself your while life. And perhaps read your own posts if you are looking for crafty personal insults. At least I know I'm deliberately offending you.

Lol. Keep telling me all you know about me, you clearly know me better than I or my own family does. I hope your children put their children first as well.

Just going by what you wrote in your own words. I hope my children put their children first, of course. I'm also taking care of people in my family. Two can go together. but how would you know.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?

Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER.

Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv.

Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo.

And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable.

And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP.

Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll.

I gave no input on OP's situation.

My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome.

Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps.

I was the one who called you that, not the pp above and it was well deserved. And it wasn't just because you called him a pedophile with no proof, but because of the entirety of your first post. But I will continue to call you that as long as you keep calling me a pedophile apologist for using the correct terminology. And I've responded plenty to OP, you just don't know it.

I dont really care what you think, but using a personal insult because you don't like the terminology is childish and just makes your point less valid. I wouldn't want to date someone supporting their parents, nor would I want to date someone supporting their sibling. I definitely, 100000% wouldn't want to date someone supporting their sibling charged with sex offences against minors. I gave my reasons why, if you disagree and are totes fine with it, maybe OP can hook you up with this guy once they split. Good luck to your children, may the odds be in their favor.

In case you were wondering why I called you a shit person, that's why!!!!! And I similarly don't care what you think. I care about labels and facts. You don't have a grasp on either. Have a good day.

I dont think not wanting to support a sex offender makes anyone a shit person, but you do you boo! Plenty of sex offenders out there for you I'm sure.

I will thanks. Read the part I bolded for you though. Don't pretend you didn't see it. That is completely separate from any possible sex offender allegations. Apparently you would never, under any circumstances support any family member, boo. So yes, in my book you're not a good person.

I'm married to someone that comes from a culture of supporting elders, and I made it very clear that I wasn't down for that. I won't apologize for putting my husband and children before parents or siblings. I refuse to be a doormat and enjoy my peaceful life with boundaries in place.

HAHAHAHAHAHA is that what you're doing????? Because you totally don't come across as a selfish dick to me. I hope your children treat you the way you've been treating your family one day and "out their children first."

Ooh more personal insults, you are so crafty. I 100% hope my children put their children first. That's literally the point of being a parent.

Sarcasm is not your strong suit. That tracks. For the record, you have never put anyone cared about anyone other than yourself your while life. And perhaps read your own posts if you are looking for crafty personal insults. At least I know I'm deliberately offending you.

Lol. Keep telling me all you know about me, you clearly know me better than I or my own family does. I hope your children put their children first as well.

Just going by what you wrote in your own words. I hope my children put their children first, of course. I'm also taking care of people in my family. Two can go together. but how would you know.

Good for you. Different strokes for different folks.

[Anonymous]

Isn't he going to jail, this brother. Looks like it to me. For how long, I don't know. But if this is his criminal background, and he has mental health needs, be should ve in a group home regardless, where he learns independence and life skills.

If he moves in with you, your house will be identified as a home of a sexual predator, no kids will be able to come over. He will have to be monitored as well, by you and his brother. You won't be able to have any of your own children even live with you.

I mean, there's no argument here. He can't live with you. Is your boyfriend somewhat uneducated about this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin allowed her husband's uncle to move in with them and their three young children after he was released from jail for being a pedophile. Guess what happened? Guess how those kids turned out? I would say thank you for telling me, I want kids, this is a no-go.

Pedophilia is not a crime.

What did you mean to say?

[Anonymous]

I'm just going to clear up the charges here. It does not matter if the sex was consensual or if the man is impaired. It's the age difference, and that is second degree rape. You can call it what you want...pedophilia ( which considering the circumstances it probably is not..in fact the 14 year old may have been the perp and aggressor..we don't know how impaired the brother is), but the facts remain that he commited a felony. He will be considered a sexual predator living in your home.