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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Boyfriend dropped big news
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Anonymous
This is the risk OP faces. Inviting someone with sex assault charges against a minor into your home is a huge risk. If I found out my kid was friends with OPs kid I would never allow them over to her house. I hope he’d be on a registry somewhere so people are aware who they and their kids hang around. |
Anonymous
Why are you so dumb? The law clearly distinguishes between the two so why can't you? And yes, you absolutely are a shit and a dumb person for causing him of pedophilia. No one is justifying anything. FACTS MATTER. |
Anonymous
| No guarantee the brother will move in. There are group homes for people with developmental disabilities and that may be the best option for him for many reasons. I'm guessing the family has not yet explored such options.. a lot of people don't plan that far ahead in cases like this. |
Anonymous
Ewww why is there a resident creep here who always chimes in on these iTs NoT pEdOpHiLiA. Whatever, perv. |
Anonymous
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There are a lot of considerations here. But I personally would break up.
It doesn’t matter how amazing this guy is (and wanting to care for his brother may make him more amazing), but I would not sign up for this. You will essentially be raising a child that you did not birth who is unable to launch. This would be enough for me to walk. And I say this as a mom of a kid with profound special needs. I don’t want my other kid to care for her in her own home, etc — it is just too much, and I did birth this kid. You also know that this person has enough impairment that they cannot understand and follow the law. If convicted, you might not be allowed to live near your kid’s school, neighbors will ostracize you when they check the sex offender registry, etc. It could be that this guy is impaired enough that this particular sex offense may not be the most terrible of crimes — perhaps it was consensual sex amongst two people who are cognitively the same age. But, it is still a crime and you will have to deal with all the repercussions. I would not sign up for this. The reality is that this boyfriend is likely super unrealistic about what this will be like. His parents have likely protected him from many of the worst moments of caregiving. |
Anonymous
This, too. Even if the brother never touches another person again, it's going to get out among the parents at school, and no one will ever allow their children over. Do you want your kids growing up with that stigma? |
Anonymous
Why is there always a resident dumbass who can't think rationally or have a conversation? Sit down, the adults are talking. |
Anonymous
It doesn't matter. Rape is rape. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
Of course it matters you moron. Statutory rape doesn't carry the same sentence for one. Statutory rape between an autistic 19 year old (who is obviously developmentally behind) and a 14-year-old was likely consensual (as most statutory rapes are). Raping a 5-year-old is not the same. How am I having to explain this????? |
Anonymous
| Move on, OP. |
Anonymous
| Deal breaker. Financial support is one thing, living with a married young couple another. |
Anonymous
They could be in their 60s by the time this is even an issue. But sure.
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Anonymous
He could absolutely be a pedophile, and it is incredibly naive not to consider that possibility. I have a developmentally disabled cousin (not autistic) who went to jail for sex with a minor with about the same ages as the brother here. Many sort of shrugged it off because he was a young adult and with his disabilities, was at a similar emotional level to the girl he was with. Guess what? He's a pedophile. Years later he got caught with all kinds of child porn and ended up back in jail. And I'm very glad that I've never let him be around my kids. |
Anonymous
| OP you could never leave him alone with your kids or other minor relatives or you could be charged with failure to protect. No need to take this risk on. |