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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Boyfriend dropped big news
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Anonymous
I didn't even think about this possibility! Soo many things to consider here. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
Total NP but there is actually a difference? And even more so when the perpetrator is an autistic person with significant impairment. But the difference between a relationship between a developmentally struggling 19 year old and a 14 year old is VERY different then someone's uncle who just got out of prison for being a pedo. And that isn't justifying the crime of either party. Pointing out that shoplifting lipstick is different then armed robbery is not saying shoplifting is perfectly acceptable. |
Anonymous
THANK YOU!!!!! |
Anonymous
And yet both would land this person on a sex offender watch list with future ramifications for the rest of their life. Which would greatly affect OP. |
Anonymous
Did either one of us say there wouldn't be possible ramifications? They are just way different than what you were painting them to be. |
Anonymous
Well that is not the point I was making so if you are the one being so mean to the other pp I think you are just moving the goalposts to troll. I gave no input on OP's situation. My input on her situation would be, this is a really difficult situation. I think it says really good things about the boyfriend that this is something he's thinking about and communicating proactively. And that finding a really good person is rare. I think I would attempt to have a real in depth conversation about it before jumping to breaking up but be prepared that it might end if they can't reach a mutually agreed upon outcome. |
Anonymous
You seem to be brushing it under the rug and staying it's not a big deal. It's still a big deal. It's a huge deal actually. |
Anonymous
Who's being mean? The one calling someone a "shit person" or the ones saying they don't want their kids around sex offenders? Hmm. Seems like you and pp are the trolls. You aren't even posting anything relevant to OP, just arguing with pps. |
Anonymous
I was the one who called you that, not the pp above and it was well deserved. And it wasn't just because you called him a pedophile with no proof, but because of the entirety of your first post. But I will continue to call you that as long as you keep calling me a pedophile apologist for using the correct terminology. And I've responded plenty to OP, you just don't know it. |
Anonymous
That's clear 
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Anonymous
When I was 15, I was targeted by a "developmentally struggling" 19 year old. It was extremely traumatic for me and exposed me to things I did not know about and was not ready for. People vastly underestimate the amount of manipulation a 19 year old guy will use to get "consent" from a 14/15 year old. I have a 14 year old DD, and I also employ a couple 19 year old guys. Their maturity levels, what they have been exposed to, and expectations for relationships are wildly different. It's not consent because a 15 year old does not know what they are consenting to. It's sort of like - you can get a small child to "consent" to a shot at the doctor if they've never had a shot before, you promise them it won't hurt a bit and that they'll get candy or a toy afterwards. Any child would consent to that. But the experience itself is VASTLY different than what was promised by an older person they trusted. And it's not at all like shoplifting. Shoplifting does not cause permanent damage and trauma to another person. Maybe it's more like robbing an 8 year old vs a 14 year old at gunpoint. Both will be traumatized, but perhaps the 14 year old less so. |
Anonymous
I dont really care what you think, but using a personal insult because you don't like the terminology is childish and just makes your point less valid. I wouldn't want to date someone supporting their parents, nor would I want to date someone supporting their sibling. I definitely, 100000% wouldn't want to date someone supporting their sibling charged with sex offences against minors. I gave my reasons why, if you disagree and are totes fine with it, maybe OP can hook you up with this guy once they split. Good luck to your children, may the odds be in their favor. |
Anonymous
You are the one incessantly arguing this and telling the pp they don't think p@dophilia is a big deal and are apologists for r@pe. This issue is relevant to OP's issue because there is a significant difference between the scenarios. There is zero chance I would ever have children with someone committed to having a se*ual predator in the house at any time, living with us or visiting or even like, nearby enough for regular visits. I would not even want to live in that house myself if the perpetrator was se*ually violence. I would feel substantially different about a situation where an autistic teenager had a consensual but illegal relationship with a 14 year old that they were developmentally in line with. I would be open to that living situation for just myself (OP doesn't necessarily want children) and I would be open to having that person in my children's lives. Someone who gets drunk and pees on a statue at a football game also gets put on the se* offender list but that doesn't mean they are necessarily a person to be feared. This is a legitimate issue that impacts the OP's situation and your oversimplification and inflammatory rhetoric about a disabled man is not helping anyone other than your own amusement. |
Anonymous
Nothing you said has anything to do with the fact that pedophilia is different than statutory rape. |