Boyfriend dropped big news

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my DH has a brother with serious psychiatric problems. He has a history of violence and volatility. Early in our relationship I asked DH (then boyfriend) if he ever planned to have his brother live with him. He said emphatically no, and that I should never even answer the door if he showed up at his apartment. Had he said yes, I would have ended the relationship immediately. Everyone is entitled to boundaries. It is fine if yours include not living with (or having your future children) live with someone who has sex with minors or other is seriously disruptive to a domestic environment. Please move on now rather than taking this on for the rest of your life.

Curious if your brother in law lives in his own?

[Anonymous]

Eject immediately.

[Anonymous]

No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

[Anonymous]

I would not. It's just going to be too hard, and at 35 your boyfriend is mature enough to know what he is saying. Thank him for his honesty and wish him well. It's not an easy thing to be the sibling in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's told you his obligations and you get to decide. If you want to move on, then do so. Do not say you are okay with it and then try to make him change his mind later.

This^. You don't have to and even if you do it for your BF or out of goodness of your heart, there is no guarantee you won't regret it down the road. Look at it from all angles and decide if you are capable of this sacrifice and BF is worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

You're a horrible person.

It's fine if OP doesn't want her life to turn out this way. Many people would still be open to it and would see the humanity in taking care of your brother.

[Anonymous]

Run as fast as you can especially if you want kids!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not. It's just going to be too hard, and at 35 your boyfriend is mature enough to know what he is saying. Thank him for his honesty and wish him well. It's not an easy thing to be the sibling in this situation.

Agree. He’s a good brother but not good husband material.

[Anonymous]

This would be a deal breaker for me. He's a good brother for wanting to take care of him and he's a good guy for being honest with you about the situation.

[Anonymous]

Nope, run

[Anonymous]

My cousin allowed her husband's uncle to move in with them and their three young children after he was released from jail for being a pedophile. Guess what happened? Guess how those kids turned out? I would say thank you for telling me, I want kids, this is a no-go.

[Anonymous]

It's really a wonder we get some many posts on DCUM asking for advice, since so many of you live the most perfect, amazing lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My cousin allowed her husband's uncle to move in with them and their three young children after he was released from jail for being a pedophile. Guess what happened? Guess how those kids turned out? I would say thank you for telling me, I want kids, this is a no-go.

HE IS NOT A PEDOPHILE!!!!! YOU MORON!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No way Jose. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. Cut your losses now and find someone with compatible life goals.

Just like the thread about dating someone who supports his parents, you will never be a priority here. And unfortunately for you, you’re in line behind a sex offender. Is that going to impact where you live? (Xmiles away from a school?) is that going to be an issue when you have your own children and a pedophile lives with you? No. No. Nonononono. Do your future self and family a favor and cut this guy loose.

Statutory rape (if the DA can even call it that considering the autism) is NOT the same as being a being a pedophile. As I said before, you are just a shit person.

I think the person justifying sexual assault is more likely the “shit person”. Are you also a sex offender? Or dating one? Why is this so triggering for you?