I feel like I failed my kids

[Anonymous]

I know people who’ve been offered generous merit aid at Pitt, Furman, College of Charleston, AU, GWU, Alabama, UGA, Clemson, UNC. There are a lot of options out there if your kid doesn’t want to stay in-state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Understandable at 275k feds with 3 kids. They will likely have to go to in-state public, or else pick an SREB program for in-state tuition out of state.

No, its not understandable. You save, spend less.

In NOVA with 3 kids on 270k HHI? maybe if parents helped out with home purchase, private school, etc. oh brother. 270k HHI is almost poor here without family money.

We make much less than that and live comfortably. No family help. It's a cheaper house, no vacations or private school, but lots of activities. That's rich. And, we saved for college. They are living above their means. They are not poor and I have no empathy for people like that.

Family of 4 on 100K budget. I have to agree, sorry, OP. We moved heaven and earth to be in a decent public school district, with accommodations of one of our kids who has special needs. Private school just wasn't feasible. You could have planned differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't have any money saved up for their college. We're an upper middle-class family with a 270k HHI, so they can't get much need-based financial aid. The money that was gonna go to their college fund was spent on private school that did get them ahead academically in the early years but has become useless now (they currently go to public). I just feel like I failed them, because none of their top choices are in-state (we're in VA) and they have, especially my oldest, spectacular grades, 99th percentile test scores and plenty of awards for both academic and art ECs. Many people think my oldest is going to be getting into the Ivies or at least a top 25. But we can't afford that. She's already been applying to various scholarships but have had no luck so far. Both DH and I paid our own way for college, but we were both in-state UMD. Our money now mostly goes towards their ECs. I feel like I'm going to hinder their success because I didn't save like I should have.

Oh please. OP, majority of kids go to in state colleges and their parents wouldn't consider that as a failure so just stop. Also you're in VA where your high stats kid can choose between UVA or William and Mary. Even VTech. Give me a break. Signed, Maryland Resident

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Understandable at 275k feds with 3 kids. They will likely have to go to in-state public, or else pick an SREB program for in-state tuition out of state.

No, its not understandable. You save, spend less.

In NOVA with 3 kids on 270k HHI? maybe if parents helped out with home purchase, private school, etc. oh brother. 270k HHI is almost poor here without family money.

Please stop. We live very comfortably on that HHI. We own our home in Falls Church/Arlington/Alexandria and sent our kids to public schools. We have one at W&M/UVA/Tech (hope the other has one of those options, as well) and feel very lucky to have the college options we have for our kids.

It’s offensive to suggest that a HHI of $270K is “almost poor.”

Money is finite. OP chose to spend it on K-12 private, and now doesn’t have funds for a private college/university. That doesn’t make OP poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with UVA/W&M/VTech?

Nothing except that they are full-feight, which is what OP will have to pay at $43k at year (W&M). They won't get financial aid and merit is unlikely unless they snag a rare scholarship like the Jefferson at UVA. Since they have no savings, they will have to fund out of income which means taxable income so will have to make $70 to pay $43k x 2 kids. That's $70 x 8 years = $640k - for public school in VA

We were in the same situation with two kids at GMU and UVA at the same time and had saved since birth. Those saved funds went to pay
for SN private schools and tutors. We filed FAFSA but got nothing but both kids took out the $5500 per year unsubsidized student loans but that's a drop in the bucket. We also had elder care financial draining savings. In the end we refinanced to finish the youngesg kid at UVA. We should have done Parent Plus loans but didn't know about them at the time. Yes, grandparents helped.

And that's assuming the kids are accepted. UVA and W&M in particular have become very difficult to get into even with top scores.

OP, be upfront with your kids - UVA has a fantastic guarantee transfer program to all of its 4 year institutions via community college. That is, realistically, your only option.

And before those who haven't been through the process say "apply for independent loans!" we did. 15 of them. And both kids had goods, one was top in her high school class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Understandable at 275k feds with 3 kids. They will likely have to go to in-state public, or else pick an SREB program for in-state tuition out of state.

No, its not understandable. You save, spend less.

In NOVA with 3 kids on 270k HHI? maybe if parents helped out with home purchase, private school, etc. oh brother. 270k HHI is almost poor here without family money.

Please stop. We live very comfortably on that HHI. We own our home in Falls Church/Arlington/Alexandria and sent our kids to public schools. We have one at W&M/UVA/Tech (hope the other has one of those options, as well) and feel very lucky to have the college options we have for our kids.

It’s offensive to suggest that a HHI of $270K is “almost poor.”

Money is finite. OP chose to spend it on K-12 private, and now doesn’t have funds for a private college/university. That doesn’t make OP poor.

Op stated private school was earlier on. Kids are at public (hs) now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 270k/HHI can’t you cash flow a lot of this? We were at that income level a few years ago paying 45k/year on daycare for 2 kids. It was tight and meant we had to cut back on things like travel and takeout, but we still made it work.

If you could contribute 40-50k for the next 4 years that would go a long way and your DD can take loans or get a part time job to cover anything else. That would still leave you at 225k income as almost empty nesters. How high can your living expenses be at this point? I hope mortgage/groceries/car/retirement aren’t taking up that whole amount. It will be a major drop in lifestyle, but it’s not forever and will mean a lot to your kids.

Ivies are $90k/year. We are paying $11k/month. Two kids would be $180k/year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't have any money saved up for their college. We're an upper middle-class family with a 270k HHI, so they can't get much need-based financial aid. The money that was gonna go to their college fund was spent on private school that did get them ahead academically in the early years but has become useless now (they currently go to public). I just feel like I failed them, because none of their top choices are in-state (we're in VA) and they have, especially my oldest, spectacular grades, 99th percentile test scores and plenty of awards for both academic and art ECs. Many people think my oldest is going to be getting into the Ivies or at least a top 25. But we can't afford that. She's already been applying to various scholarships but have had no luck so far. Both DH and I paid our own way for college, but we were both in-state UMD. Our money now mostly goes towards their ECs. I feel like I'm going to hinder their success because I didn't save like I should have.

Oh please. OP, majority of kids go to in state colleges and their parents wouldn't consider that as a failure so just stop. Also you're in VA where your high stats kid can choose between UVA or William and Mary. Even VTech. Give me a break. Signed, Maryland Resident

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with UVA/W&M/VTech?

Nothing except that they are full-feight, which is what OP will have to pay at $43k at year (W&M). They won't get financial aid and merit is unlikely unless they snag a rare scholarship like the Jefferson at UVA. Since they have no savings, they will have to fund out of income which means taxable income so will have to make $70 to pay $43k x 2 kids. That's $70 x 8 years = $640k - for public school in VA

We were in the same situation with two kids at GMU and UVA at the same time and had saved since birth. Those saved funds went to pay
for SN private schools and tutors. We filed FAFSA but got nothing but both kids took out the $5500 per year unsubsidized student loans but that's a drop in the bucket. We also had elder care financial draining savings. In the end we refinanced to finish the youngesg kid at UVA. We should have done Parent Plus loans but didn't know about them at the time. Yes, grandparents helped.

And that's assuming the kids are accepted. UVA and W&M in particular have become very difficult to get into even with top scores.

OP, be upfront with your kids - UVA has a fantastic guarantee transfer program to all of its 4 year institutions via community college. That is, realistically, your only option.

And before those who haven't been through the process say "apply for independent loans!" we did. 15 of them. And both kids had goods, one was top in her high school class.

I'm 09:48 with one kid at Tech/W&M/UVA on a HHI similar to OP's HHI. OP mentioned applying for scholarships. Private scholarships are another option, and OP's kids should be working on that as a part-time job. There is an incredible amount of scholarship money available in the DMV. You just have to get organized and get thorough, well-written applications submitted (after getting thorough, well-written college applications submitted). It's a part-time job, though, and requires a considerable amount of research to find the scholarships.

So, we had $100K saved, and need to pay roughly $40K/year. DC won $15K/year in scholarships, and we now pay only $25K/year. It was well worth the time DC spent on these scholarship applications.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 270k/HHI can’t you cash flow a lot of this? We were at that income level a few years ago paying 45k/year on daycare for 2 kids. It was tight and meant we had to cut back on things like travel and takeout, but we still made it work.

If you could contribute 40-50k for the next 4 years that would go a long way and your DD can take loans or get a part time job to cover anything else. That would still leave you at 225k income as almost empty nesters. How high can your living expenses be at this point? I hope mortgage/groceries/car/retirement aren’t taking up that whole amount. It will be a major drop in lifestyle, but it’s not forever and will mean a lot to your kids.

Ivies are $90k/year. We are paying $11k/month. Two kids would be $180k/year.

Yeah. I don’t think people realize privates aren’t 60-70k year anymore. Most are $85-99k/year now.

[Anonymous]

Is it too late to apply for ROTC scholarships?

[Anonymous]

How is this just something you are thinking about?
Yes, they are going to go to schools that are "beneath" where they should go. And you should contribute to them each year. You can probably go $40,000 or so by tightening your belts and taking on some loans for them.

We saved up enough and never made $270,000.
Start now by cutting everything - no fancy vacations, eating out, door dash, expensive cars. Whatever. You can drive a used Toyota for a decade so your kids don't have to have loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 270k/HHI can’t you cash flow a lot of this? We were at that income level a few years ago paying 45k/year on daycare for 2 kids. It was tight and meant we had to cut back on things like travel and takeout, but we still made it work.

If you could contribute 40-50k for the next 4 years that would go a long way and your DD can take loans or get a part time job to cover anything else. That would still leave you at 225k income as almost empty nesters. How high can your living expenses be at this point? I hope mortgage/groceries/car/retirement aren’t taking up that whole amount. It will be a major drop in lifestyle, but it’s not forever and will mean a lot to your kids.

Ivies are $90k/year. We are paying $11k/month. Two kids would be $180k/year.

Cashflowing one ivy kid (87k)right now (10,800k for 8 months, or 4mos each semester)at less HHI than OP has. come on. OP is a terrible budgeter if they cannot cashflow at least 90k and also were unable to save anything for all these years. Our mortgage is over 4k a month and we bought it when we made less than 200k. It is doable to have a reasonable house and also have saved for years and pay for 1-2 kids to an ivy on 270HHI. Even if nothing was saved, one kid is cashflowable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is this just something you are thinking about?
Yes, they are going to go to schools that are "beneath" where they should go. And you should contribute to them each year. You can probably go $40,000 or so by tightening your belts and taking on some loans for them.

We saved up enough and never made $270,000.
Start now by cutting everything - no fancy vacations, eating out, door dash, expensive cars. Whatever. You can drive a used Toyota for a decade so your kids don't have to have loans.

agree OP should easily be able to make this work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it too late to apply for ROTC scholarships?

I don’t think so, but you will have to move quickly. Your kid can also talk to the ROTC folks at the school he/she is attending, go to classes and whatever training they will allow you to attend, and try to earn a scholarship for sophomore through senior year.

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