I feel like I failed my kids

[Anonymous]

OP you didn’t fail your kids - CA based parent here with one kid and while I can afford OOS privates I’m hopeful DC gets into UCLA or Berkeley because the in state tuition is a gift. We have so many great choices in CA and sounds like you do as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Understandable at 275k feds with 3 kids. They will likely have to go to in-state public, or else pick an SREB program for in-state tuition out of state.

No, its not understandable. You save, spend less.

In NOVA with 3 kids on 270k HHI? maybe if parents helped out with home purchase, private school, etc. oh brother. 270k HHI is almost poor here without family money.

Oh, for goodness sake. Our HHI is 100K less (and we live in DC, so no real public options) but I would never consider ourselves poor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Really really loved William and Mary but the tuition didn’t make sense for us, being OOS. Virginia families are lucky!

+1 W&M is DD’s first choice. Sadly, we can’t afford it OOS. Coming from MD, I have no sympathy for VA parents lamenting their kids’ options. Please.

Cost aside, there are so many OOS parents who would love to have their kids at UVA or W & M or Va Tech and are willing to pay OOS tuition for quality that’s a “relative” bargain for VA residents

Yes, what do you do in MD if you're not admitted to UMD?

Towson, Salisbury, Frostburg, and the others state schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Understandable at 275k feds with 3 kids. They will likely have to go to in-state public, or else pick an SREB program for in-state tuition out of state.

No, its not understandable. You save, spend less.

In NOVA with 3 kids on 270k HHI? maybe if parents helped out with home purchase, private school, etc. oh brother. 270k HHI is almost poor here without family money.

We make much less than that and live comfortably. No family help. It's a cheaper house, no vacations or private school, but lots of activities. That's rich. And, we saved for college. They are living above their means. They are not poor and I have no empathy for people like that.

[Anonymous]

You won’t be spending money on ECs when your children are in college! Put that money towards tuition.

In the interim can you cut back your spending on these activities? A lot of times that happens organically Junior and senior year of high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Send them to UVA, VT, or W&M. Christ.

All fine schools to launch from, that are reasonably priced in particular VT.

Could even do community college for a year or two them transfer to one of those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gonna? Come on, you can’t be serious with this.

This was my thought as well.

[Anonymous]

First, consider setting expectations for your kids. UVA and William and Mary are great schools! If they offer your DC’s field of study, I would start singing the praises of the instate options to your DC and let him/her know that it will be a stretch to afford a private T40 school.
Second, if you go the private college route, talk to DC about how he/she needs to take out loans and work over the summer. It’s not ideal, but your family _can_ make it work—the question is whether you collectively decide it’s worth it.

FWIW, my spouse and I were paying loans until our oldest reached middle school. Parents do the best they can to support their kids. Your child will survive.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of privates below T-50 that offer great merit aid to high stats kids. Research their websites.

[Anonymous]

You did fail your kids. You paid for private you couldn’t afford and could have used that money for college. Did you not save for retirement either and will rely on your kids who will likely have massive debt? Stupid.

[Anonymous]

Some of us save for a long time. Some for a short time.

Just put 50k aside a year til it’s done. If that means getting and then payinng off a loan, so be it.

But it should be done in 8ish years. I saved for 20. I saved a lot less on far lower income for a while which is harder, in retrospect, than it would be to save now. Saving/paying 50k a year on your income when kids are out of the house doesn’t seem hard to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Understandable at 275k feds with 3 kids. They will likely have to go to in-state public, or else pick an SREB program for in-state tuition out of state.

No, its not understandable. You save, spend less.

In NOVA with 3 kids on 270k HHI? maybe if parents helped out with home purchase, private school, etc. oh brother. 270k HHI is almost poor here without family money.

Oh, for goodness sake. Our HHI is 100K less (and we live in DC, so no real public options) but I would never consider ourselves poor.

I loved UDC. I was the last class to get the finance degree. I retired in my mid 40s because of one teacher there, and ofcourse because of the low cost of the school. My income before I learned to invest was $30k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Understandable at 275k feds with 3 kids. They will likely have to go to in-state public, or else pick an SREB program for in-state tuition out of state.

No, its not understandable. You save, spend less.

In NOVA with 3 kids on 270k HHI? maybe if parents helped out with home purchase, private school, etc. oh brother. 270k HHI is almost poor here without family money.

We make much less than that and live comfortably. No family help. It's a cheaper house, no vacations or private school, but lots of activities. That's rich. And, we saved for college. They are living above their means. They are not poor and I have no empathy for people like that.

We make much less than OP and have our children in private school, but have a cheaper house too and take a vacation every other year or two. We've saved for college. Our priorities are education though. People generally put their money where their values are. I don't value large expensive houses or travel sports. Make your choices and live with them. That's life. OP can easily cash flow in state tuition at their income level.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your oldest going to be a national merit semifinalist? If so, she can qualify for 50% off tuition at USC.

Can one of you switch jobs to one that pays higher (e.g., from government lawyer to a law firm)?

Do you have any well-off parents who can help pay tuition or "loan" tuition money to your kids?

She probably will, has gotten near perfect scores on the PSAT every year so far (10th grader).

We're both feds, wouldn't really be able to get any jobs that pay higher elsewhere.

DH's parents have passed, mine are definitely in no position to help pay tuition.

Send them to Alabama or Oklahoma - they’ll get free tuition!

[Anonymous]

ROTC