I feel like I failed my kids

[Anonymous]

Some more links that could help you or parents in similar circumstances.

Some of these schools are generous with scholarships in the $30k range. That could get expenses down to where you could cash flow. (Remember that your kids can take out guaranteed student loans regardless of need. It’s only going to be about $25k for four years but you could have them take that out and then you or they pay it back after graduation.)

https://www.road2college.com/top-30-colleges-largests-merit-based-scholarships/

https://www.road2college.com/colleges-offering-largest-percent-students-merit-based-scholarships/

[Anonymous]

OP, why don’t you just encourage your DC to get married, even if it’s just a fake marriage? Then they can legally claim independence from you and your HHI and assets can no longer be considered as part of the financial aid process.

This is what we’ve done in our family and it has allowed each of our kids to qualify for full ride financial aid packages at CMU, Penn, and Cornell. Otherwise, DH and I have a NW of $4.9M and our HHI is $475K. Definitely no financial aid packages for us if this is factored in!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t beat yourself up. And you have not failed your kids in any way. I envy you because you live in Virginia and have great in-state options like UVA and William and Mary. Has your kid toured the in-state schools? I (parent) was even more skeptical than my kid (98th percentile) about our in-state options, but after we toured, I changed my mind. I was so impressed as was my kid. Ignore the external expectations about your kid going to a T-25. Plenty of top kids from my kid’s peer group opted for our in-state flagship. Your kid can find her academic peer group at a number of more affordable colleges outside the T-25. Has your kid considered some less selective liberal arts colleges such as Rhodes, Wooster and Furman? Or places like Pitt? They may offer generous merit aid if she’s firmly set on going OOS.

I state W&M is $43k. Not inexpensive.

[Anonymous]

VA state schools are great, particularly if your kid can get into UVA, WM or Tech and one or more of those seems like a good fit. I have a child at one of these and I’m thrilled! We actually could have paid for OOS and would have but DC chose in state and I know am so glad we didn’t pay double when DC is thriving and the school offers so much for the money we are spending compared with paying for an OOS private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you just encourage your DC to get married, even if it’s just a fake marriage? Then they can legally claim independence from you and your HHI and assets can no longer be considered as part of the financial aid process.

This is what we’ve done in our family and it has allowed each of our kids to qualify for full ride financial aid packages at CMU, Penn, and Cornell. Otherwise, DH and I have a NW of $4.9M and our HHI is $475K. Definitely no financial aid packages for us if this is factored in!!

This is gross. I hope this is fake

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you just encourage your DC to get married, even if it’s just a fake marriage? Then they can legally claim independence from you and your HHI and assets can no longer be considered as part of the financial aid process.

This is what we’ve done in our family and it has allowed each of our kids to qualify for full ride financial aid packages at CMU, Penn, and Cornell. Otherwise, DH and I have a NW of $4.9M and our HHI is $475K. Definitely no financial aid packages for us if this is factored in!!

This is gross. I hope this is fake

I'm sure this is fake- gross but hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you just encourage your DC to get married, even if it’s just a fake marriage? Then they can legally claim independence from you and your HHI and assets can no longer be considered as part of the financial aid process.

This is what we’ve done in our family and it has allowed each of our kids to qualify for full ride financial aid packages at CMU, Penn, and Cornell. Otherwise, DH and I have a NW of $4.9M and our HHI is $475K. Definitely no financial aid packages for us if this is factored in!!

This is gross. I hope this is fake

Arranged marriages are not a bad idea. Addresses the fertility crisis that is especially problematic among the highly educated.

[Anonymous]

There’s always ROTC. Uncle Sam will pay if you do your time in return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with UVA/W&M/VTech?

((Shhh…they are—gulp—public!! Ewww))

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don’t you just encourage your DC to get married, even if it’s just a fake marriage? Then they can legally claim independence from you and your HHI and assets can no longer be considered as part of the financial aid process.

This is what we’ve done in our family and it has allowed each of our kids to qualify for full ride financial aid packages at CMU, Penn, and Cornell. Otherwise, DH and I have a NW of $4.9M and our HHI is $475K. Definitely no financial aid packages for us if this is factored in!!

The complications associated with marriage far outweigh the benefits of a higher aid package.