I feel like I failed my kids

[Anonymous]

They can apply to in state universities, like you did.

[Anonymous]

It will be fine, OP, but you have lean times ahead to pay for your kids' in-state college education.

We are immigrants who came the US as adults.
We were told by others to start saving for college when our kids were born.
Instead, we put all our available savings in stocks like Apple, that ended up doing better than college savings plans.
We moved to a great public school district to avoid paying for private school. We sacrificed house space for schools. We supplemented their education with tutors and ECs, which still cost us far less than a top private.
Now we can afford any college our kids want, and our property has significantly increased in value, which was the twin goal.

I hope you can pay for UVA or W&M, they're great schools! And please ignore the people who expect Ivies. Ivies are a lottery. Even top students are not guaranteed to get in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't have any money saved up for their college. We're an upper middle-class family with a 270k HHI, so they can't get much need-based financial aid. The money that was gonna go to their college fund was spent on private school that did get them ahead academically in the early years but has become useless now (they currently go to public). I just feel like I failed them, because none of their top choices are in-state (we're in VA) and they have, especially my oldest, spectacular grades, 99th percentile test scores and plenty of awards for both academic and art ECs. Many people think my oldest is going to be getting into the Ivies or at least a top 25. But we can't afford that. She's already been applying to various scholarships but have had no luck so far. Both DH and I paid our own way for college, but we were both in-state UMD. Our money now mostly goes towards their ECs. I feel like I'm going to hinder their success because I didn't save like I should have.

With grammar like this, it must be a troll.

Or someone who is upset and not thinking about proper grammar! Hang in there, OP! A lot of us are rooting for you!

[Anonymous]

15:47 again. How many kids? I'm assuming, like the daycare poster, that you can afford one kid's college costs but maybe not more. Is in-state UVA $30K a year, total cost of attendance? Maybe take out loans to cover the second kid's college costs while they overlap?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your aren't a troll, your kids just go to the best in state college they can go to. Like most other people.

+1

There are lots of kids like yours, OP, including mine. My son had a perfect 1600 SAT score and a 4.8 weighted GPA coming out of the Blair magnet. He did very well at University of Maryland and did not apply to any top 20 schools because we could not afford them. And, we had saved quite a lot.

It's not unusual and it will be fine. What matters is how your kids do, not that they go to a brand name school.

+2 Tell the kids you can afford VA state school budget. They can apply elsewhere but if it doesn't fit the budget it's off the list. They should start to look for things they can like about UVA/W&M/VT.

Read The Price You Pay for College by Ron Lieber
https://www.amazon.com/Price-You-Pay-College-Financial/dp/006286730X

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will be fine, OP, but you have lean times ahead to pay for your kids' in-state college education.

270k HHI is not going to have lean times paying for in-state in Virginia.

[Anonymous]

You can cash flow a large portion of instate tuition at least that salary.

[Anonymous]

The only way you will fail your kids, and the rest of this society, is by being a weak-kneed parent afraid to say "No".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't have any money saved up for their college. We're an upper middle-class family with a 270k HHI, so they can't get much need-based financial aid. The money that was gonna go to their college fund was spent on private school that did get them ahead academically in the early years but has become useless now (they currently go to public). I just feel like I failed them, because none of their top choices are in-state (we're in VA) and they have, especially my oldest, spectacular grades, 99th percentile test scores and plenty of awards for both academic and art ECs. Many people think my oldest is going to be getting into the Ivies or at least a top 25. But we can't afford that. She's already been applying to various scholarships but have had no luck so far. Both DH and I paid our own way for college, but we were both in-state UMD. Our money now mostly goes towards their ECs. I feel like I'm going to hinder their success because I didn't save like I should have.

At that income you have plenty of money. Wish we had your problems.

[Anonymous]

Lots of places offering merit aid to high stats kids. Shop around.

[Anonymous]

What grades are the kids? How many kids? You stated that your oldest has been applying for scholarships --which ones? Does that mean your oldest is a senior? What schools has your child applied to?

[Anonymous]

Ivy grad in a prestigious field here. I work with many, many W&M and UVA grads. These schools are very well-regarded by employers.

[Anonymous]

You can cash flow in state tuition. Or some OOS publics with merit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Gonna? Come on, you can’t be serious with this.

Dp.
Do you mean "can't be serious with..." that word gonna? Or the issue this poster is presenting?

[Anonymous]

It’s simple, you tell your kid what you can afford and go from there. You’re in VA with a fantastic choice of in-state schools. Sorry if they aren’t in their “favorite” list, but if they don’t want to end up with ridiculous loads of student debt, and you can pay in-state tuition, there you go.

But also there are many private colleges that give very good merit aid. My kid is in one and the tuition we pay for that college - two states away - is equal or a bit better than what we’d pay for our one of our in-state colleges.