I feel like I failed my kids

[Anonymous]

Assuming you've had to say 'no' to your kids before. We had to do that with our oldest. He wanted to go to school in Boston. Even with merit, exceeded our previously discussed max. Always sucks to say no, but that's life. If kid really wants to go Ivy, maybe can get admitted in a few years as a graduate student and by that time, maybe you can afford. Maybe undergrad transfer?

[Anonymous]

Even a full-ride to JMU would put your child in a good place. I went there and know many people who went to be doctors, lawyers, and a couple of entrepreneurs who are extremely wealthy, happy people. What more could you want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you make 270 HHI, it sounds like you can cashflow quite a bit of expenses. At 200k we used a 529 for in-state tuition but cash-flowed about 30k for room and board for our 2. With that extra 70k we could have had another $40k to spend. In other words, we could have cash flowed $70k a year at 270k which is what I anticipate our income will be when child
#3 attends. However we are prioritizing retirement so our youngest will have a similar budget to 1 and 2. There’s nothing wrong with a state school, especially a flagship if that’s what you can afford. My kids were told that is they wanted to go private or OOS, they needed merit aid so they targeted schools known for it where they would be considered high stats.

No they can’t. Many schools are in excess of $50-90k now. And the “top” schools Give little to no merit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you make 270 HHI, it sounds like you can cashflow quite a bit of expenses. At 200k we used a 529 for in-state tuition but cash-flowed about 30k for room and board for our 2. With that extra 70k we could have had another $40k to spend. In other words, we could have cash flowed $70k a year at 270k which is what I anticipate our income will be when child
#3 attends. However we are prioritizing retirement so our youngest will have a similar budget to 1 and 2. There’s nothing wrong with a state school, especially a flagship if that’s what you can afford. My kids were told that is they wanted to go private or OOS, they needed merit aid so they targeted schools known for it where they would be considered high stats.

No they can’t. Many schools are in excess of $50-90k now. And the “top” schools Give little to no merit.

I’m the PP who mentioned dropping 45k/year on daycare at this income level. In our case we had to spend this in order to work so it wasn’t discretionary. If OP can buckle down and make herself allocate ~50k/year toward her kid she could. But she’d have to be willing to make lifestyle cuts that up until now it seems they weren’t willing to make to save for college.

That at least gets the kid a big chunk of the way there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't have any money saved up for their college. We're an upper middle-class family with a 270k HHI, so they can't get much need-based financial aid. The money that was gonna go to their college fund was spent on private school that did get them ahead academically in the early years but has become useless now (they currently go to public). I just feel like I failed them, because none of their top choices are in-state (we're in VA) and they have, especially my oldest, spectacular grades, 99th percentile test scores and plenty of awards for both academic and art ECs. Many people think my oldest is going to be getting into the Ivies or at least a top 25. But we can't afford that. She's already been applying to various scholarships but have had no luck so far. Both DH and I paid our own way for college, but we were both in-state UMD. Our money now mostly goes towards their ECs. I feel like I'm going to hinder their success because I didn't save like I should have.

Understandable. You did. Can’t I ring that bell though.

[Anonymous]

Well, you’re in the same position as many of us. We earned much less than you and were able to save enough for $50k a year with grandparent help, but most schools are $70k plus.

I’m not going to feel bad about college being too expensive.

Find a school you can cash flow and organize the list around that.

My kid was top ten. The top two kids attended UMD, so around 4/10 attended UMD. The rich kid attended HYSP and was not even top 10 but a legacy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your aren't a troll, your kids just go to the best in state college they can go to. Like most other people.

+1

There are lots of kids like yours, OP, including mine. My son had a perfect 1600 SAT score and a 4.8 weighted GPA coming out of the Blair magnet. He did very well at University of Maryland and did not apply to any top 20 schools because we could not afford them. And, we had saved quite a lot.

It's not unusual and it will be fine. What matters is how your kids do, not that they go to a brand name school.

[Anonymous]

What's wrong with UVA/W&M/VTech?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't have any money saved up for their college. We're an upper middle-class family with a 270k HHI, so they can't get much need-based financial aid. The money that was gonna go to their college fund was spent on private school that did get them ahead academically in the early years but has become useless now (they currently go to public). I just feel like I failed them, because none of their top choices are in-state (we're in VA) and they have, especially my oldest, spectacular grades, 99th percentile test scores and plenty of awards for both academic and art ECs. Many people think my oldest is going to be getting into the Ivies or at least a top 25. But we can't afford that. She's already been applying to various scholarships but have had no luck so far. Both DH and I paid our own way for college, but we were both in-state UMD. Our money now mostly goes towards their ECs. I feel like I'm going to hinder their success because I didn't save like I should have.

Give me a break. The difference between your income and mine would exceed the amount needed to send one kod to an ivy full pay. Cry me a river

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, you’re in the same position as many of us. We earned much less than you and were able to save enough for $50k a year with grandparent help, but most schools are $70k plus.

I’m not going to feel bad about college being too expensive.

Find a school you can cash flow and organize the list around that.

My kid was top ten. The top two kids attended UMD, so around 4/10 attended UMD. The rich kid attended HYSP and was not even top 10 but a legacy.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with UVA/W&M/VTech?

Nothing. On the contrary, they are great schools.

[Anonymous]

If they really get into one of those schools, take out loans and cash flow the rest. IF they actually get in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 270k/HHI can’t you cash flow a lot of this? We were at that income level a few years ago paying 45k/year on daycare for 2 kids. It was tight and meant we had to cut back on things like travel and takeout, but we still made it work.

If you could contribute 40-50k for the next 4 years that would go a long way and your DD can take loans or get a part time job to cover anything else. That would still leave you at 225k income as almost empty nesters. How high can your living expenses be at this point? I hope mortgage/groceries/car/retirement aren’t taking up that whole amount. It will be a major drop in lifestyle, but it’s not forever and will mean a lot to your kids.

This. You should have 75k- 80k to cash flow on 270k. We are cash-flowing 90% of ivy cost (88k x twins) on a variable 520k-540k, with significant cutbacks. Their private was 48k each so we were already used to cashflowing that, but cut a lot more to make college work without loans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't have any money saved up for their college. We're an upper middle-class family with a 270k HHI, so they can't get much need-based financial aid. The money that was gonna go to their college fund was spent on private school that did get them ahead academically in the early years but has become useless now (they currently go to public). I just feel like I failed them, because none of their top choices are in-state (we're in VA) and they have, especially my oldest, spectacular grades, 99th percentile test scores and plenty of awards for both academic and art ECs. Many people think my oldest is going to be getting into the Ivies or at least a top 25. But we can't afford that. She's already been applying to various scholarships but have had no luck so far. Both DH and I paid our own way for college, but we were both in-state UMD. Our money now mostly goes towards their ECs. I feel like I'm going to hinder their success because I didn't save like I should have.

With grammar like this, it must be a troll.

[Anonymous]

Just tell your kid they can only apply to on state schools and cash flow tuition. Don’t even let your kid apply out of state. Why is this so difficult?