NP, but you sound very immature and self centered, not cut out to be a father. |
It's funny, this has basically happened in my marriage and I LOVE it. It turns out that my husband's job has a lot of free time during the day (busy 9-noon and again from 4:30-7pm with a lull in between). It used to be that that lull was spent in the office wasting time in a variety of ways. Now he can take the kids to the dentist, start slow cooker meals, run to Trader Joes. It's funny because our kids are now 14 and 12 and they don't remember that I was the default parent pre-COVID. THis change has let me lean into my career and I am now making $200K more than I was when COVID started thanks to a recent job change I never would have made had my DH not been able to handle more stuff at home. |
Am I good enough to be a mother, though? |
Definitely not. |
Wow, I am woman who identifies a lot with this post, except for the mid TV thing. But I don’t hesitate to, say, walk at lunch. |
I hear this. I am the wife who works many more hours than my husband and prepandemic I just wanted to spend more time in my house looking at my flowers. Now I do (and I still earn $$$). The difference seems to be that my husband and kids are really happy for me to get all of the good things. |
Lol! OP is a mom who does less, so you just insulted her I guess. |
Yep. She just wants his pay check, but doesnt want to see him or have him around his kids at all. But resents him no matter what he does ![]() |
I’d tell him to take on those tasks now (why isn’t he already?) and you’ll see what is out there in terms of job mobility for you. Is he actually going to step up and do the things he said?
Has he made new friends lately by chance? My DH had a similar change and it was because he made a new group of friends who were “wealthy men of leisure” types who spent a lot of time during the day exercising, lunching, and golfing. The difference was those guys were a decade older, in many cases had family $$$ or were working cushy jobs for “the family business” (again, family $$ basically). Many of them also talked about time with kids, blah blah but were not doing a lot of parenting from what I could tell. My DH got incredibly jealous……who wouldn’t, I suppose. Ended up being a phase my DH got over….we don’t make nearly enough $ for him to live that lifestyle LO. I think I posted ano Jr it on DCUM at some point. |
Funny enough - yes, he has a new golf crew and they are all in a better financial position than us (more luxurious vacations, lots of lunches/dinners, guys golf trips, etc etc). So I've thought he wanted me to make more money so he could better "fit in" with his new friends. |
Men shouldn't WFH. His T and social skills are deteriorating. |
I’m assuming we are around the same age. My oldest is also 15. DH is a high earner and I’m a SAHM. In our late forties, many of our friends and colleagues are burning out and starting to think about retirement. Our kids’ college and our retirements are already funded. If he is earning the same as before, I don’t think this should bother you. And if you don’t want a more stressful job, then just stay where you are.
DH and I talk about where and what we will do when kids go to college. |
Yes, how dare half the species get a nice work/life balance. That's reserved for women only! |
Sounds like nobody wants to work hard in your house. Just keep things as is. |
This is fairly normal. People want work life balance. Who wouldn’t? |