How much would you accommodate sibling?

[Anonymous]

for 3 days she can cook her foods in advance, bring them in plastic containers and warm them in microwave at your house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:for 3 days she can cook her foods in advance, bring them in plastic containers and warm them in microwave at your house

+1 Simple accommodation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send her your menu and ask what you should have on hand for her to eat that she can quickly pull together for herself on the days she won’t eat the stuff you are making.

These suggestions are getting ridiculous. This might make sense for a 4 year old following a strict diet for serious health reasons but this is an adult. Capable of ordering food, grocery shopping, planning ahead, or just eating 2 bites of something offered like every other grown adult that doesn’t care for the menu choice.

2 bites. She’s not eating enough as it is and you want to starve her. No, be a good host.

She's starving herself. Let's assign responsibility accurately here.

No, she's not. She's fine and leave her alone.

I would not eat if I was only offered a cheeseburger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I would tell your parents and sister that she's welcome to bring her own food that's she's prepared ahead of time if she doesn't want what you have available, but she can't cook at your place because you're hosting a crowd. Someone burning on food on 3-4 different pans at once because she refuses to use any oil or cooking spray isn't compatible with me trying to host other people. Who wants to be in a house that smells like burnt food?! Sounds like she wouldn't eat chicken breast if OP cooked it because OP would use a little cooking spray to keep it from sticking.

Or, get new non-stick pans. They are $10-15 at home goods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send her your menu and ask what you should have on hand for her to eat that she can quickly pull together for herself on the days she won’t eat the stuff you are making.

These suggestions are getting ridiculous. This might make sense for a 4 year old following a strict diet for serious health reasons but this is an adult. Capable of ordering food, grocery shopping, planning ahead, or just eating 2 bites of something offered like every other grown adult that doesn’t care for the menu choice.

2 bites. She’s not eating enough as it is and you want to starve her. No, be a good host.

She's starving herself. Let's assign responsibility accurately here.

No, she's not. She's fine and leave her alone.

Did you read what I was responding to? The PP accused OP of starving her sister. I was pointing out that the sister's food choices are her own, and her responsibility to feed herself is her own. Sounds like OP would be very happy to "leave her alone" to fend for herself. Instead she's being pressured to inconvenience herself on behalf of her sister's frankly bizarre diet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send her your menu and ask what you should have on hand for her to eat that she can quickly pull together for herself on the days she won’t eat the stuff you are making.

These suggestions are getting ridiculous. This might make sense for a 4 year old following a strict diet for serious health reasons but this is an adult. Capable of ordering food, grocery shopping, planning ahead, or just eating 2 bites of something offered like every other grown adult that doesn’t care for the menu choice.

2 bites. She’s not eating enough as it is and you want to starve her. No, be a good host.

She's starving herself. Let's assign responsibility accurately here.

No, she's not. She's fine and leave her alone.

That's up to you. Own your choices and don't complain.

I would not eat if I was only offered a cheeseburger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send her your menu and ask what you should have on hand for her to eat that she can quickly pull together for herself on the days she won’t eat the stuff you are making.

These suggestions are getting ridiculous. This might make sense for a 4 year old following a strict diet for serious health reasons but this is an adult. Capable of ordering food, grocery shopping, planning ahead, or just eating 2 bites of something offered like every other grown adult that doesn’t care for the menu choice.

2 bites. She’s not eating enough as it is and you want to starve her. No, be a good host.

She's starving herself. Let's assign responsibility accurately here.

No, she's not. She's fine and leave her alone.

I would not eat if I was only offered a cheeseburger.

That's up to you. Own your choices and don't complain. So sick of people's stupid dietary restrictions. If you have an allergy, I'll accommodate it. Otherwise, either eat what's offered or don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send her your menu and ask what you should have on hand for her to eat that she can quickly pull together for herself on the days she won’t eat the stuff you are making.

These suggestions are getting ridiculous. This might make sense for a 4 year old following a strict diet for serious health reasons but this is an adult. Capable of ordering food, grocery shopping, planning ahead, or just eating 2 bites of something offered like every other grown adult that doesn’t care for the menu choice.

2 bites. She’s not eating enough as it is and you want to starve her. No, be a good host.

She's starving herself. Let's assign responsibility accurately here.

First. No matter what OP does this visit she’s not going to change her sister nor her parents. So she can choose to make a big deal out of it or just quietly provide the kitchen space or appropriate food options.

Second. Are people who are keto, or carnivore, or vegan, etc. starving themselves? I’m curious if OP’s sister has an actual diagnosed eating disorder or is just - like MANY here - very restricted in order to stay skinny and OP has themselves diagnosed the sister.

Lots of people don’t eat red meat, dairy, bread, etc. and I wouldn’t jump to “eating disorder.” Half the people I know have various restrictions and diets; they’d all have an ED under that logic.

To your first statement, the op doesn’t need to change her sister. People are simply saying that she doesn’t have to feed into it nor change herself for her sister.
You are wrong.

She doesn’t HAVE to, no. But it’s just as easy to grill chicken as it is to grill a burger or hot dogs. Keep some eggs annd salad fixings in the fridge and let her sister cook something if she wants. almost like OP is inviting trouble where there is none by being petty. My clue to this was OP saying that it takes “hours” to scrub pans after her sister has used them. I just can’t comprehend how that is the case.

It is not just as easy. OP should not anything to accommodate her apart from a medical issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send her your menu and ask what you should have on hand for her to eat that she can quickly pull together for herself on the days she won’t eat the stuff you are making.

These suggestions are getting ridiculous. This might make sense for a 4 year old following a strict diet for serious health reasons but this is an adult. Capable of ordering food, grocery shopping, planning ahead, or just eating 2 bites of something offered like every other grown adult that doesn’t care for the menu choice.

2 bites. She’s not eating enough as it is and you want to starve her. No, be a good host.

She's starving herself. Let's assign responsibility accurately here.

No, she's not. She's fine and leave her alone.

I would not eat if I was only offered a cheeseburger.

Then don’t eat, that’s your choice sweetheart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send her your menu and ask what you should have on hand for her to eat that she can quickly pull together for herself on the days she won’t eat the stuff you are making.

These suggestions are getting ridiculous. This might make sense for a 4 year old following a strict diet for serious health reasons but this is an adult. Capable of ordering food, grocery shopping, planning ahead, or just eating 2 bites of something offered like every other grown adult that doesn’t care for the menu choice.

2 bites. She’s not eating enough as it is and you want to starve her. No, be a good host.

She's starving herself. Let's assign responsibility accurately here.

First. No matter what OP does this visit she’s not going to change her sister nor her parents. So she can choose to make a big deal out of it or just quietly provide the kitchen space or appropriate food options.

Second. Are people who are keto, or carnivore, or vegan, etc. starving themselves? I’m curious if OP’s sister has an actual diagnosed eating disorder or is just - like MANY here - very restricted in order to stay skinny and OP has themselves diagnosed the sister.

Lots of people don’t eat red meat, dairy, bread, etc. and I wouldn’t jump to “eating disorder.” Half the people I know have various restrictions and diets; they’d all have an ED under that logic.

To your first statement, the op doesn’t need to change her sister. People are simply saying that she doesn’t have to feed into it nor change herself for her sister.
You are wrong.

She doesn’t HAVE to, no. But it’s just as easy to grill chicken as it is to grill a burger or hot dogs. Keep some eggs annd salad fixings in the fridge and let her sister cook something if she wants. almost like OP is inviting trouble where there is none by being petty. My clue to this was OP saying that it takes “hours” to scrub pans after her sister has used them. I just can’t comprehend how that is the case.

It is not just as easy. OP should not anything to accommodate her apart from a medical issue.

How is it not just as easy to put a piece of chicken breast or salmon (in foil if there’s a concern about fats) on the grill instead of or in addition to hamburgers and hot dogs? In fact, I bet other people would like that as an option too. I don’t have dietary restrictions but would love grilled chicken and salad maybe even over a burger or hot dog.

It is possible to just quietly and nicely do these things - or allow sister the option to do it herself - and not make a big show of it. But, I actually try to enjoy the people and not focus on what is “right” all the time.

I always do “make your own” type meals with a variety of choices people can put together when I host. Taco bar, etc. Then everyone can eat what they want without alienation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send her your menu and ask what you should have on hand for her to eat that she can quickly pull together for herself on the days she won’t eat the stuff you are making.

These suggestions are getting ridiculous. This might make sense for a 4 year old following a strict diet for serious health reasons but this is an adult. Capable of ordering food, grocery shopping, planning ahead, or just eating 2 bites of something offered like every other grown adult that doesn’t care for the menu choice.

2 bites. She’s not eating enough as it is and you want to starve her. No, be a good host.

She's starving herself. Let's assign responsibility accurately here.

First. No matter what OP does this visit she’s not going to change her sister nor her parents. So she can choose to make a big deal out of it or just quietly provide the kitchen space or appropriate food options.

Second. Are people who are keto, or carnivore, or vegan, etc. starving themselves? I’m curious if OP’s sister has an actual diagnosed eating disorder or is just - like MANY here - very restricted in order to stay skinny and OP has themselves diagnosed the sister.

Lots of people don’t eat red meat, dairy, bread, etc. and I wouldn’t jump to “eating disorder.” Half the people I know have various restrictions and diets; they’d all have an ED under that logic.

To your first statement, the op doesn’t need to change her sister. People are simply saying that she doesn’t have to feed into it nor change herself for her sister.
You are wrong.

She doesn’t HAVE to, no. But it’s just as easy to grill chicken as it is to grill a burger or hot dogs. Keep some eggs annd salad fixings in the fridge and let her sister cook something if she wants. almost like OP is inviting trouble where there is none by being petty. My clue to this was OP saying that it takes “hours” to scrub pans after her sister has used them. I just can’t comprehend how that is the case.

It is not just as easy. OP should not anything to accommodate her apart from a medical issue.

OK, so let's really play this out.

Option #1: OP allows sister to bring her own food and grill some salmon/chicken, maybe cook an egg. The burden on OP is two extra pans and an extra dish to clean, assuming sister doesn't do it. It is also having sister in the kitchen taking up space and being in the way for a bit.

Option #2: OP draws a line and says she won't prepare any different food and sister isn't allowed to either. The burden on OP, even if she chooses not to engage, is multiple attempts by parents to change her mind, possibility that some or all do not come, impact on other guests of them not coming, possible altercation during the event when sister attempts to prepare some eggs and OP "enforces the boundary."

Which option is "easier" for OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send her your menu and ask what you should have on hand for her to eat that she can quickly pull together for herself on the days she won’t eat the stuff you are making.

These suggestions are getting ridiculous. This might make sense for a 4 year old following a strict diet for serious health reasons but this is an adult. Capable of ordering food, grocery shopping, planning ahead, or just eating 2 bites of something offered like every other grown adult that doesn’t care for the menu choice.

2 bites. She’s not eating enough as it is and you want to starve her. No, be a good host.

She's starving herself. Let's assign responsibility accurately here.

First. No matter what OP does this visit she’s not going to change her sister nor her parents. So she can choose to make a big deal out of it or just quietly provide the kitchen space or appropriate food options.

Second. Are people who are keto, or carnivore, or vegan, etc. starving themselves? I’m curious if OP’s sister has an actual diagnosed eating disorder or is just - like MANY here - very restricted in order to stay skinny and OP has themselves diagnosed the sister.

Lots of people don’t eat red meat, dairy, bread, etc. and I wouldn’t jump to “eating disorder.” Half the people I know have various restrictions and diets; they’d all have an ED under that logic.

To your first statement, the op doesn’t need to change her sister. People are simply saying that she doesn’t have to feed into it nor change herself for her sister.
You are wrong.

She doesn’t HAVE to, no. But it’s just as easy to grill chicken as it is to grill a burger or hot dogs. Keep some eggs annd salad fixings in the fridge and let her sister cook something if she wants. almost like OP is inviting trouble where there is none by being petty. My clue to this was OP saying that it takes “hours” to scrub pans after her sister has used them. I just can’t comprehend how that is the case.

It is not just as easy. OP should not anything to accommodate her apart from a medical issue.

OK, so let's really play this out.

Option #1: OP allows sister to bring her own food and grill some salmon/chicken, maybe cook an egg. The burden on OP is two extra pans and an extra dish to clean, assuming sister doesn't do it. It is also having sister in the kitchen taking up space and being in the way for a bit.

Option #2: OP draws a line and says she won't prepare any different food and sister isn't allowed to either. The burden on OP, even if she chooses not to engage, is multiple attempts by parents to change her mind, possibility that some or all do not come, impact on other guests of them not coming, possible altercation during the event when sister attempts to prepare some eggs and OP "enforces the boundary."

Which option is "easier" for OP?

There are other options but doesn’t fit your agenda. OP has to do neither one of those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send her your menu and ask what you should have on hand for her to eat that she can quickly pull together for herself on the days she won’t eat the stuff you are making.

These suggestions are getting ridiculous. This might make sense for a 4 year old following a strict diet for serious health reasons but this is an adult. Capable of ordering food, grocery shopping, planning ahead, or just eating 2 bites of something offered like every other grown adult that doesn’t care for the menu choice.

2 bites. She’s not eating enough as it is and you want to starve her. No, be a good host.

She's starving herself. Let's assign responsibility accurately here.

First. No matter what OP does this visit she’s not going to change her sister nor her parents. So she can choose to make a big deal out of it or just quietly provide the kitchen space or appropriate food options.

Second. Are people who are keto, or carnivore, or vegan, etc. starving themselves? I’m curious if OP’s sister has an actual diagnosed eating disorder or is just - like MANY here - very restricted in order to stay skinny and OP has themselves diagnosed the sister.

Lots of people don’t eat red meat, dairy, bread, etc. and I wouldn’t jump to “eating disorder.” Half the people I know have various restrictions and diets; they’d all have an ED under that logic.

To your first statement, the op doesn’t need to change her sister. People are simply saying that she doesn’t have to feed into it nor change herself for her sister.
You are wrong.

She doesn’t HAVE to, no. But it’s just as easy to grill chicken as it is to grill a burger or hot dogs. Keep some eggs annd salad fixings in the fridge and let her sister cook something if she wants. almost like OP is inviting trouble where there is none by being petty. My clue to this was OP saying that it takes “hours” to scrub pans after her sister has used them. I just can’t comprehend how that is the case.

It is not just as easy. OP should not anything to accommodate her apart from a medical issue.

How is it not just as easy to put a piece of chicken breast or salmon (in foil if there’s a concern about fats) on the grill instead of or in addition to hamburgers and hot dogs? In fact, I bet other people would like that as an option too. I don’t have dietary restrictions but would love grilled chicken and salad maybe even over a burger or hot dog.

It is possible to just quietly and nicely do these things - or allow sister the option to do it herself - and not make a big show of it. But, I actually try to enjoy the people and not focus on what is “right” all the time.

I always do “make your own” type meals with a variety of choices people can put together when I host. Taco bar, etc. Then everyone can eat what they want without alienation.

You would love other options. You treat your hostess like a short order cook.

[Anonymous]

Can't sister (and your parents) stay at a vrbo with a kitchen? I can't imagine everyone is staying with you.... tell them where your favorite grocery store is and your planned menu. She can cook her own food and bring it if the menu doesn't suit her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just send her your menu and ask what you should have on hand for her to eat that she can quickly pull together for herself on the days she won’t eat the stuff you are making.

These suggestions are getting ridiculous. This might make sense for a 4 year old following a strict diet for serious health reasons but this is an adult. Capable of ordering food, grocery shopping, planning ahead, or just eating 2 bites of something offered like every other grown adult that doesn’t care for the menu choice.

2 bites. She’s not eating enough as it is and you want to starve her. No, be a good host.

She's starving herself. Let's assign responsibility accurately here.

First. No matter what OP does this visit she’s not going to change her sister nor her parents. So she can choose to make a big deal out of it or just quietly provide the kitchen space or appropriate food options.

Second. Are people who are keto, or carnivore, or vegan, etc. starving themselves? I’m curious if OP’s sister has an actual diagnosed eating disorder or is just - like MANY here - very restricted in order to stay skinny and OP has themselves diagnosed the sister.

Lots of people don’t eat red meat, dairy, bread, etc. and I wouldn’t jump to “eating disorder.” Half the people I know have various restrictions and diets; they’d all have an ED under that logic.

To your first statement, the op doesn’t need to change her sister. People are simply saying that she doesn’t have to feed into it nor change herself for her sister.
You are wrong.

She doesn’t HAVE to, no. But it’s just as easy to grill chicken as it is to grill a burger or hot dogs. Keep some eggs annd salad fixings in the fridge and let her sister cook something if she wants. almost like OP is inviting trouble where there is none by being petty. My clue to this was OP saying that it takes “hours” to scrub pans after her sister has used them. I just can’t comprehend how that is the case.

It is not just as easy. OP should not anything to accommodate her apart from a medical issue.

OK, so let's really play this out.

Option #1: OP allows sister to bring her own food and grill some salmon/chicken, maybe cook an egg. The burden on OP is two extra pans and an extra dish to clean, assuming sister doesn't do it. It is also having sister in the kitchen taking up space and being in the way for a bit.

Option #2: OP draws a line and says she won't prepare any different food and sister isn't allowed to either. The burden on OP, even if she chooses not to engage, is multiple attempts by parents to change her mind, possibility that some or all do not come, impact on other guests of them not coming, possible altercation during the event when sister attempts to prepare some eggs and OP "enforces the boundary."

Which option is "easier" for OP?

There are other options but doesn’t fit your agenda. OP has to do neither one of those.

PP here. I was sincerely trying to be balanced, while concise enough to note write more than people want to read. I don't have an "agenda", but I do think that allowing sister to bring her own food is the best option of those identified. What do you think is a better one?