How much would you accommodate sibling?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Each bite of food she eats or refuses is her making a choice to live or die. If she wants to live bad enough she’ll eat something regardless of what is offered or figure out an alternative.

Spoiler alert: a lot of people with mental illness don't particularly want to live. Eating disorders are the most deadly mental illness.

Precisely. Accommodating them is insanity.

Your conclusion from the statement that you agree with (people with mental illness may choose not to eat because they don't have a strong desire to live) is that is insane to make accommodations that encourage them to eat...and therefore die?

Yes it’s insane. Why prolong the inevitable.

There will be food offered, OP isn’t planning to starve a dying woman for a week. There’s absolutely nothing you can do to encourage someone else to eat. It’s a grown adult, they make their own choices. Accommodating stupid choices is asinine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Each bite of food she eats or refuses is her making a choice to live or die. If she wants to live bad enough she’ll eat something regardless of what is offered or figure out an alternative.

Spoiler alert: a lot of people with mental illness don't particularly want to live. Eating disorders are the most deadly mental illness.

Precisely. Accommodating them is insanity.

Your conclusion from the statement that you agree with (people with mental illness may choose not to eat because they don't have a strong desire to live) is that is insane to make accommodations that encourage them to eat...and therefore die?

You think the sister is going to die if the op doesn’t accommodate her?

I do not. I actually think this life-or-death stuff is hyperbolic distraction. However, just trying to follow the most recent exchange. By my read, it boils down to this:

P: "She'll eat what is offered if she wants to live."
DP: "If she has a mental illness, she may not want to live and won't eat what is offered."
P: "Agree, therefore it would be crazy to offer her anything than what is offered."

Conclusion of P: Let her die?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Each bite of food she eats or refuses is her making a choice to live or die. If she wants to live bad enough she’ll eat something regardless of what is offered or figure out an alternative.

Spoiler alert: a lot of people with mental illness don't particularly want to live. Eating disorders are the most deadly mental illness.

Precisely. Accommodating them is insanity.

Your conclusion from the statement that you agree with (people with mental illness may choose not to eat because they don't have a strong desire to live) is that is insane to make accommodations that encourage them to eat...and therefore die?

Yes it’s insane. Why prolong the inevitable.

There will be food offered, OP isn’t planning to starve a dying woman for a week. There’s absolutely nothing you can do to encourage someone else to eat. It’s a grown adult, they make their own choices. Accommodating stupid choices is asinine.

The bolded is just false. She can be encouraged to eat by making foods available that she is likely to eat.

We can just disagree on whether it is "stupid" to do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Each bite of food she eats or refuses is her making a choice to live or die. If she wants to live bad enough she’ll eat something regardless of what is offered or figure out an alternative.

Spoiler alert: a lot of people with mental illness don't particularly want to live. Eating disorders are the most deadly mental illness.

Precisely. Accommodating them is insanity.

Your conclusion from the statement that you agree with (people with mental illness may choose not to eat because they don't have a strong desire to live) is that is insane to make accommodations that encourage them to eat...and therefore die?

Yes it’s insane. Why prolong the inevitable.

There will be food offered, OP isn’t planning to starve a dying woman for a week. There’s absolutely nothing you can do to encourage someone else to eat. It’s a grown adult, they make their own choices. Accommodating stupid choices is asinine.

You must be a terrible cook...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Each bite of food she eats or refuses is her making a choice to live or die. If she wants to live bad enough she’ll eat something regardless of what is offered or figure out an alternative.

Spoiler alert: a lot of people with mental illness don't particularly want to live. Eating disorders are the most deadly mental illness.

Precisely. Accommodating them is insanity.

Your conclusion from the statement that you agree with (people with mental illness may choose not to eat because they don't have a strong desire to live) is that is insane to make accommodations that encourage them to eat...and therefore die?

Yes it’s insane. Why prolong the inevitable.

There will be food offered, OP isn’t planning to starve a dying woman for a week. There’s absolutely nothing you can do to encourage someone else to eat. It’s a grown adult, they make their own choices. Accommodating stupid choices is asinine.

You must be a terrible cook...

LOL! This thread needed a laugh. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Like anyone with diet issues/restrictions/medical issues with regard to diet- you present the meals, offer the kitchen for their use/an extra fridge for their own items and let the chips fall. Especially with something like anorexia- don't get sucked into playing the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if it was any guest other than your sister who had a medical condition that impacted what they could eat?

Do that thing.

The difference is any other guest would most likely not gave a history of taking advantage of everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not accommodate this nonsense at all. She is a grown woman.

+1 (kind of)

I'd give her the menu and tell her she is free to order out, if this doesn't work. Mitigate the cooking mess arguments. Your parents sound like enablers and will probably try to drag you into her mental health problems. Don't go down that road; it will never work out for you.

[Anonymous]

Is there a food that you know she will always eat? Like fruit salad and ensure shakes? I’d serve a big bowl of fruit salad at every meal, for everyone. And keep several ensures in the fridge. And then let her figure the rest out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a food that you know she will always eat? Like fruit salad and ensure shakes? I’d serve a big bowl of fruit salad at every meal, for everyone. And keep several ensures in the fridge. And then let her figure the rest out.

Mixed fruit is gross. Ensure is not a meal. Grow up and feed your guests or don’t host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is there a food that you know she will always eat? Like fruit salad and ensure shakes? I’d serve a big bowl of fruit salad at every meal, for everyone. And keep several ensures in the fridge. And then let her figure the rest out.

These are good practical and reasonable ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What would you do if it was any guest other than your sister who had a medical condition that impacted what they could eat?

Do that thing.

The difference is any other guest would most likely not gave a history of taking advantage of everyone.

Why does that make a difference for what the best thing for OP to do in this instance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is there a food that you know she will always eat? Like fruit salad and ensure shakes? I’d serve a big bowl of fruit salad at every meal, for everyone. And keep several ensures in the fridge. And then let her figure the rest out.

Mixed fruit is gross. Ensure is not a meal. Grow up and feed your guests or don’t host.

NP. That was not helpful at all! It's just an example of what a sick person might eat. Absolutely always have a few simple things a sick person could eat. Doesn't matter what. Ginger Ale and Saltines. Jello. This is just going to be personalized for the sister.

Has she already visited btw?

[Anonymous]

How’d you end up so normal with a freak like that for a sister?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can broach the subject, tell her she's welcome to make or buy her own food and she can eat anything else if she wants, which she won't. Or ask her for exactly what she would like you to make and prepare it, but many ED people don't want others preparing their food as they don't have control.

Had sister like this and she brought fruit salad to every family holiday. She did make enough for everyone but she never ate anything else.

It's ALL about control.

Most people think that an ED like anorexia is all about being thin.
Yes, that is symptomatic, but it's really all about having control over one thing in their lives, when the rest of their life feels totally out of their control.