Dating someone who cheated on their spouse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you date someone who admitted to a failed marriage due to cheating? This is someone who is good-looking with a good career and appears to be a good parent. But loss of love/X led to cheating. Not sure if this is worth exploring further.

When the love was lost did they consider doing the ethical thing and initiate a divorce before cheating on their spouse within a marriage?

If the love is lost many divorce at that time and don't cheat.

I get it but what difference does it really make?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It’s not as bad as dating somebody who aborted a baby. That’s a less trustworthy evil person.

I don’t think I could get past that. It’s truly not a loving person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It’s not as bad as dating somebody who aborted a baby. That’s a less trustworthy evil person.

I don’t think I could get past that. It’s truly not a loving person.[/quote

Plus the tell-tale sign of abortion belly that any man can spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

But loss of love/X led to cheating.

This is a flag. A huge, gigantic one. I would run.

Omg. Totally. No: I was wrong. I regret my choices and hurt I caused. I have been in therapy to deal with healthier ways to cope. etc., etc. But even then: 2nd marriages have an even greater chance of divorce and if that 2nd marriage is with a cheater...bingo!

Run.

Who said anything about second marriages? Maybe OP just wants to get laid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you date someone who admitted to a failed marriage due to cheating? This is someone who is good-looking with a good career and appears to be a good parent. But loss of love/X led to cheating. Not sure if this is worth exploring further.

I don’t judge as harshly as I did when I was younger, having an affair after 25 years of marriage where the previous eight had no warmth or affection is a lot different than sleeping with an Applebee’s hostess when your wife is on bedrest.

I’d have to ask more questions about what the relationship was like in the years leading up to his cheating, his cheating could’ve been an absolute relief to his wife, maybe she didn’t have the courage to end the relationship without citing some major offense, she could have purposely withheld affection and emotional intimacy to isolate and drive him away. Ask more questions then make the call.

I also don’t judge as harshly but I wouldn’t invite that kind of dysfunction into MY life. He may have suffered through years of unhappiness and only stayed for the kids or something, OR he was banging the Applebees hostess. The problem is that there’s no way for you to know what happened except from him, and he’s a proven liar.

[Anonymous]

Someone who cheats on one spouse/partner will cheat on another. Hard pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Once a cheater, always a cheater until he's too old to care about sex anymore.

If loss of love lead to cheating, a decent man would either address the issue or divorce and move on.

Decent people don't cheat. Just like decent people don't lie or steal.

Everybody in the world has lied and stolen at some point. Guess what .. people aren’t good only God is good. Jesus didn’t suffer and die for the oh so good inhabitants of earth.

[Anonymous]

Why TF is some religious person turning this into an abortion/jesus debate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It’s not as bad as dating somebody who aborted a baby. That’s a less trustworthy evil person.

So the Dr tells you your baby is going to be significantly “less fortunate”. (Mentally or physically or otherwise) What would you do? Abort, have the child and financially struggle your entire life? You die and who then takes care of the child? Give the child up for adoption? Think long and hard before judging anyone that aborted…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It’s not as bad as dating somebody who aborted a baby. That’s a less trustworthy evil person.

The people to really avoid are the ones who judge other people’s moral choices as “evil”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It’s not as bad as dating somebody who aborted a baby. That’s a less trustworthy evil person.

I don’t think I could get past that. It’s truly not a loving person.[/quote

Plus the tell-tale sign of abortion belly that any man can spot.

WTF crazy person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would you date someone who admitted to a failed marriage due to cheating? This is someone who is good-looking with a good career and appears to be a good parent. But loss of love/X led to cheating. Not sure if this is worth exploring further.

I’d dig in to the “loss of love” thing, then decide. Was their spouse handicapped or mentally disabled or abusive- and this led to loss of love?

If they were would it change things for you?

[Anonymous]

Nope. Never

Cheaters are fundamentally liars at their core.

They also are “justifiers”. Inability to take blame for anything. Easy way out …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with so many of these posts, specifically about the loss of love thing. Marriage is hard and love takes on different forms throughout and as time goes on. To cheat because you don't feel same love for a spouse, rather than talk to them and try really hard to work through it, shows a real lack of character and integrity as many others have said. I would not risk it as you already feel some trust issues and that's too important to sacrifice.

Yes with a mature adult you can "discuss" things through to a resolution.

But with an immature, self-centered adult who only cares about their ego, work image, what outsiders thing, ANY "discussion" turns into a complete circus or argument.

So "talking it out" with someone dysfuctional like that is like banging your head on the wall. Thus now we talk about nothing, he can maybe handle a talk about what to do on the weekend but only if you tell him your idea and he can look at it on his IPhone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with so many of these posts, specifically about the loss of love thing. Marriage is hard and love takes on different forms throughout and as time goes on. To cheat because you don't feel same love for a spouse, rather than talk to them and try really hard to work through it, shows a real lack of character and integrity as many others have said. I would not risk it as you already feel some trust issues and that's too important to sacrifice.

+1

People who constantly seek that passionate kind of love after 10+ years of marriage with kids are immature emotionally and mentally.

Marriage has its ups and downs, boredom, challenges. But, it's a commitment to that marriage.

If you don't think you can handle that, then don't get married, at the least, don't have children.

So many people see the world in such black and white terms, it’s astounding.

- Not a cheater, since I know you’ll accuse me of it.