Dating after divorce = less pressure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The multiple posts on here trying to slut shame women for having sex is so sad. Here we are in 2024 and grown ass women are being told that having sex with grown ass men is ‘slutting it up’.
WTF.

Being past menopause and being old and sleeping around is what does not sound appealing. It was poor wording but same message.

Why do you think all divorced women necessarily sleep with all men they date? I'm mid 40s divorced woman. I went on dozens of first, second and third dates. Dated only 4 persons for longer than 3 dates, slept with 2 men in 3 years from divorce, and ended up in a longer term relationship with one of them. I enjoyed going out socially with all those men: they were DC politicians, lawyers, legislators, consultants of Big4, performing musicians and so on. Nobody was trashy and absolutely every single man was way more interesting and better person than my exH.
In fact, I wouldn't even date my exH now in my 40s.

I think you are really jealous of women who had courage to leave bad marriages and now date men who were actually better spouses than their ex-wives, and also had courage to leave in pursuit of personal happiness.

My childhood best friend often says that her married friends are jealous of her. It is an odd thing to say about others. I wouldn’t say that a single or divorced person is jealous of my married and stable family.

That friend lives in another state. She has had a falling out with all the married friends. The divorced friend often insults her friends’ husbands. For one friend’s birthday, they went out to dinner and the divorced friend told a guy she met online where she would be. The guy brought his friends and crashed the friend’s birthday. The friend said the moms were jealous. One drunk friend called her a whore. They are no longer friends.

I’m still friends with all of them even though I don’t see them since I live out of state.

I'm now divorced but I was married for 16 years and witnessed how married couples fought/screamed at each other at my house pool parties. One couple was the obese wife on anti-depressants in her 40s and career professional husband. The husband always angry at her and kicking her out from spousal bedroom for being stinky and drunk. He complaint at it aloud to me any my exH. They are still married and I presume miserable. They cannot afford a divorce, she said back then. Another couple with very large age difference (wife 30 years younger than the husband), and she was screaming at him when we visited them at summer house. Also told aloud his breath smelled like a dead mouse.

I know what married men - the friends of my current boyfriend - are absolutely jealous of his dating life and how happy we are as a couple. Many of them had no sex in years, and the wives are asexual and fat.

Very, very few people have manageable marriages after 20+ years together. Most hate each other and just cannot divorce. You are an exception with your potential 10m+ divorce settlement and 6-figures making husband. That's the main reason you stay married. Money do buy happiness for some.

You two posters have exceptionally trashy friends.

One of the pps here. My friends are nowhere near as trashy as the other person. They are all married to good looking professionals, live in nice homes in good neighborhoods, have 2-3 kids who play soccer, go to church, etc.

My divorced friend isn’t exactly trashy either. She was really hurt in her divorce and I think she tried to boost up her self esteem by dating many men. When we were younger, she was the one who settled down and was always a one man type of girl. She is one of the most insecure people I know. This has nothing to do with divorce.

I have good looking friends. The married people who fought with the divorced friend had their pick of men before they got married. My divorced friend was married to a banker and also not trashy. She is just going through a lot. My husband definitely thinks lowly of the divorced friend. He was friends with the ex husband and thinks he is lucky he got out before they had kids.

Ha - I'm talking about these high income Bethesda, Georgetown and Forest Hills couples. One was an Ambassador. Also not trashy professional couples but still they did what they did at my parties. Married and miserable. Go read sex literature and marriage happiness statistics: very few couples who are married for 20+ years stay together for love or respect. Usually it's the money, fear of loneliness combined with reduced libido and lack of desire to date or get coupled again, and stability in retirement.

The latter, stability in retirement, is actually not a guarantee if the woman remains married. If she's well-off, it could be more beneficial to leave the dead weight older husband (on average husbands were 10 years older in my circle). And just enjoy travel, time with kids etc. These "lonely" holidays are not that big of a problem well into your mid 70s if you are woman: you can cruise whole time. Older husbands don't want to travel or do anything outside house at all

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The multiple posts on here trying to slut shame women for having sex is so sad. Here we are in 2024 and grown ass women are being told that having sex with grown ass men is ‘slutting it up’.
WTF.

Being past menopause and being old and sleeping around is what does not sound appealing. It was poor wording but same message.

Why do you think all divorced women necessarily sleep with all men they date? I'm mid 40s divorced woman. I went on dozens of first, second and third dates. Dated only 4 persons for longer than 3 dates, slept with 2 men in 3 years from divorce, and ended up in a longer term relationship with one of them. I enjoyed going out socially with all those men: they were DC politicians, lawyers, legislators, consultants of Big4, performing musicians and so on. Nobody was trashy and absolutely every single man was way more interesting and better person than my exH.
In fact, I wouldn't even date my exH now in my 40s.

I think you are really jealous of women who had courage to leave bad marriages and now date men who were actually better spouses than their ex-wives, and also had courage to leave in pursuit of personal happiness.

My childhood best friend often says that her married friends are jealous of her. It is an odd thing to say about others. I wouldn’t say that a single or divorced person is jealous of my married and stable family.

That friend lives in another state. She has had a falling out with all the married friends. The divorced friend often insults her friends’ husbands. For one friend’s birthday, they went out to dinner and the divorced friend told a guy she met online where she would be. The guy brought his friends and crashed the friend’s birthday. The friend said the moms were jealous. One drunk friend called her a whore. They are no longer friends.

I’m still friends with all of them even though I don’t see them since I live out of state.

I'm now divorced but I was married for 16 years and witnessed how married couples fought/screamed at each other at my house pool parties. One couple was the obese wife on anti-depressants in her 40s and career professional husband. The husband always angry at her and kicking her out from spousal bedroom for being stinky and drunk. He complaint at it aloud to me any my exH. They are still married and I presume miserable. They cannot afford a divorce, she said back then. Another couple with very large age difference (wife 30 years younger than the husband), and she was screaming at him when we visited them at summer house. Also told aloud his breath smelled like a dead mouse.

I know what married men - the friends of my current boyfriend - are absolutely jealous of his dating life and how happy we are as a couple. Many of them had no sex in years, and the wives are asexual and fat.

Very, very few people have manageable marriages after 20+ years together. Most hate each other and just cannot divorce. You are an exception with your potential 10m+ divorce settlement and 6-figures making husband. That's the main reason you stay married. Money do buy happiness for some.

You two posters have exceptionally trashy friends.

One of the pps here. My friends are nowhere near as trashy as the other person. They are all married to good looking professionals, live in nice homes in good neighborhoods, have 2-3 kids who play soccer, go to church, etc.

My divorced friend isn’t exactly trashy either. She was really hurt in her divorce and I think she tried to boost up her self esteem by dating many men. When we were younger, she was the one who settled down and was always a one man type of girl. She is one of the most insecure people I know. This has nothing to do with divorce.

I have good looking friends. The married people who fought with the divorced friend had their pick of men before they got married. My divorced friend was married to a banker and also not trashy. She is just going through a lot. My husband definitely thinks lowly of the divorced friend. He was friends with the ex husband and thinks he is lucky he got out before they had kids.

Ha - I'm talking about these high income Bethesda, Georgetown and Forest Hills couples. One was an Ambassador. Also not trashy professional couples but still they did what they did at my parties. Married and miserable. Go read sex literature and marriage happiness statistics: very few couples who are married for 20+ years stay together for love or respect. Usually it's the money, fear of loneliness combined with reduced libido and lack of desire to date or get coupled again, and stability in retirement.

The latter, stability in retirement, is actually not a guarantee if the woman remains married. If she's well-off, it could be more beneficial to leave the dead weight older husband (on average husbands were 10 years older in my circle). And just enjoy travel, time with kids etc. These "lonely" holidays are not that big of a problem well into your mid 70s if you are woman: you can cruise whole time. Older husbands don't want to travel or do anything outside house at all

Maybe you are one of those women who always says being divorced is better than being married.

DH is a good guy. That’s why I married him. The one thing we have most in common is our children. He is an amazing father. He is such a doting dad to our daughter and I feel my kids are lucky to have him as a dad. It is so important for daughters to have a strong male figure. It also doesn’t hurt that he makes a lot of money and we live in a beautiful home. Best of all, he puts up with me. I would have money if I were married or single so that is a non factor.

You may enjoy being divorced. I like being married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The multiple posts on here trying to slut shame women for having sex is so sad. Here we are in 2024 and grown ass women are being told that having sex with grown ass men is ‘slutting it up’.
WTF.

Being past menopause and being old and sleeping around is what does not sound appealing. It was poor wording but same message.

Why do you think all divorced women necessarily sleep with all men they date? I'm mid 40s divorced woman. I went on dozens of first, second and third dates. Dated only 4 persons for longer than 3 dates, slept with 2 men in 3 years from divorce, and ended up in a longer term relationship with one of them. I enjoyed going out socially with all those men: they were DC politicians, lawyers, legislators, consultants of Big4, performing musicians and so on. Nobody was trashy and absolutely every single man was way more interesting and better person than my exH.
In fact, I wouldn't even date my exH now in my 40s.

I think you are really jealous of women who had courage to leave bad marriages and now date men who were actually better spouses than their ex-wives, and also had courage to leave in pursuit of personal happiness.

My childhood best friend often says that her married friends are jealous of her. It is an odd thing to say about others. I wouldn’t say that a single or divorced person is jealous of my married and stable family.

That friend lives in another state. She has had a falling out with all the married friends. The divorced friend often insults her friends’ husbands. For one friend’s birthday, they went out to dinner and the divorced friend told a guy she met online where she would be. The guy brought his friends and crashed the friend’s birthday. The friend said the moms were jealous. One drunk friend called her a whore. They are no longer friends.

I’m still friends with all of them even though I don’t see them since I live out of state.

I'm now divorced but I was married for 16 years and witnessed how married couples fought/screamed at each other at my house pool parties. One couple was the obese wife on anti-depressants in her 40s and career professional husband. The husband always angry at her and kicking her out from spousal bedroom for being stinky and drunk. He complaint at it aloud to me any my exH. They are still married and I presume miserable. They cannot afford a divorce, she said back then. Another couple with very large age difference (wife 30 years younger than the husband), and she was screaming at him when we visited them at summer house. Also told aloud his breath smelled like a dead mouse.

I know what married men - the friends of my current boyfriend - are absolutely jealous of his dating life and how happy we are as a couple. Many of them had no sex in years, and the wives are asexual and fat.

Very, very few people have manageable marriages after 20+ years together. Most hate each other and just cannot divorce. You are an exception with your potential 10m+ divorce settlement and 6-figures making husband. That's the main reason you stay married. Money do buy happiness for some.

You two posters have exceptionally trashy friends.

One of the pps here. My friends are nowhere near as trashy as the other person. They are all married to good looking professionals, live in nice homes in good neighborhoods, have 2-3 kids who play soccer, go to church, etc.

My divorced friend isn’t exactly trashy either. She was really hurt in her divorce and I think she tried to boost up her self esteem by dating many men. When we were younger, she was the one who settled down and was always a one man type of girl. She is one of the most insecure people I know. This has nothing to do with divorce.

I have good looking friends. The married people who fought with the divorced friend had their pick of men before they got married. My divorced friend was married to a banker and also not trashy. She is just going through a lot. My husband definitely thinks lowly of the divorced friend. He was friends with the ex husband and thinks he is lucky he got out before they had kids.

Ha - I'm talking about these high income Bethesda, Georgetown and Forest Hills couples. One was an Ambassador. Also not trashy professional couples but still they did what they did at my parties. Married and miserable. Go read sex literature and marriage happiness statistics: very few couples who are married for 20+ years stay together for love or respect. Usually it's the money, fear of loneliness combined with reduced libido and lack of desire to date or get coupled again, and stability in retirement.

The latter, stability in retirement, is actually not a guarantee if the woman remains married. If she's well-off, it could be more beneficial to leave the dead weight older husband (on average husbands were 10 years older in my circle). And just enjoy travel, time with kids etc. These "lonely" holidays are not that big of a problem well into your mid 70s if you are woman: you can cruise whole time. Older husbands don't want to travel or do anything outside house at all

Maybe you are one of those women who always says being divorced is better than being married.

DH is a good guy. That’s why I married him. The one thing we have most in common is our children. He is an amazing father. He is such a doting dad to our daughter and I feel my kids are lucky to have him as a dad. It is so important for daughters to have a strong male figure. It also doesn’t hurt that he makes a lot of money and we live in a beautiful home. Best of all, he puts up with me. I would have money if I were married or single so that is a non factor.

You may enjoy being divorced. I like being married.

Your marriage is fine relative to 80% other marriages that stay together. Where husbands are terrible absent dads, don't make money, abandon bedroom and emotional intimacy.

I didn't divorce because I enjoy being divorced, or a slut or else that you try to imagine.

My marriage was unsustainable: exH cheated, had a full blown mid life crisis and multi-year affair while denying me intimacy and financially strangulating the family. It was unsafe for me to stay so I left. And yes, I'm happier single now, dating or not dating. And I was just like you, thinking divorce could never happen.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you, OP! It’s great fun.Same age range! I also never skip a workout bc of my ex is great with my teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The multiple posts on here trying to slut shame women for having sex is so sad. Here we are in 2024 and grown ass women are being told that having sex with grown ass men is ‘slutting it up’.
WTF.

Being past menopause and being old and sleeping around is what does not sound appealing. It was poor wording but same message.

Ok, I'll own it. I engaged in "slutting it up" in my 50s as a divorced woman and it was great. I had better sex than I had had in 20 years. I felt more fulfilled and joyful than I had felt in a long time. I felt beautiful again after a long time of not feeling that way. My story ended well and I ended up remarrying (one of the *several* guys I slutted it up with). Even if I hadn't remarried, I wouldn't feel bad. I have nothing to be ashamed of for being a sexual person and being older. Kind of pathetic that anyone would live otherwise.

What's nice is that there are a lot of men out there who can appreciate this point of view, and who don't believe that after a certain age women don't have a right to a sex life. Sure, you can say they were just using me – and that happens in your teens and 20s as well. All I can say is I live my life to the fullest and I'm not going to feel bad about it by judgmental, frigid women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The multiple posts on here trying to slut shame women for having sex is so sad. Here we are in 2024 and grown ass women are being told that having sex with grown ass men is ‘slutting it up’.
WTF.

Being past menopause and being old and sleeping around is what does not sound appealing. It was poor wording but same message.

Ok, I'll own it. I engaged in "slutting it up" in my 50s as a divorced woman and it was great. I had better sex than I had had in 20 years. I felt more fulfilled and joyful than I had felt in a long time. I felt beautiful again after a long time of not feeling that way. My story ended well and I ended up remarrying (one of the *several* guys I slutted it up with). Even if I hadn't remarried, I wouldn't feel bad. I have nothing to be ashamed of for being a sexual person and being older. Kind of pathetic that anyone would live otherwise.

What's nice is that there are a lot of men out there who can appreciate this point of view, and who don't believe that after a certain age women don't have a right to a sex life. Sure, you can say they were just using me – and that happens in your teens and 20s as well. All I can say is I live my life to the fullest and I'm not going to feel bad about it by judgmental, frigid women.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Ok, I'll own it. I engaged in "slutting it up" in my 50s as a divorced woman and it was great. I had better sex than I had had in 20 years. I felt more fulfilled and joyful than I had felt in a long time. I felt beautiful again after a long time of not feeling that way. My story ended well and I ended up remarrying (one of the *several* guys I slutted it up with). Even if I hadn't remarried, I wouldn't feel bad. I have nothing to be ashamed of for being a sexual person and being older. Kind of pathetic that anyone would live otherwise.

What's nice is that there are a lot of men out there who can appreciate this point of view, and who don't believe that after a certain age women don't have a right to a sex life. Sure, you can say they were just using me – and that happens in your teens and 20s as well. All I can say is I live my life to the fullest and I'm not going to feel bad about it by judgmental, frigid women.

Wow, this is inspiring. I'm on the verge of 50, have been divorced 15 years but for various reasons haven't been very interested in dating over the last 10. I do want to date now and would especially enjoy some steady sexual partners but I don't have the stomach for the apps. I have a couple very occasional FWBs but am looking for something more than that but less than a LTR. Sounds like it's possible! What age range were you seeing at that point in your life? I am repeatedly told by men my age that I look a lot younger than I am but I still feel like guys in their late 40s-50s want women in their 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Ok, I'll own it. I engaged in "slutting it up" in my 50s as a divorced woman and it was great. I had better sex than I had had in 20 years. I felt more fulfilled and joyful than I had felt in a long time. I felt beautiful again after a long time of not feeling that way. My story ended well and I ended up remarrying (one of the *several* guys I slutted it up with). Even if I hadn't remarried, I wouldn't feel bad. I have nothing to be ashamed of for being a sexual person and being older. Kind of pathetic that anyone would live otherwise.

What's nice is that there are a lot of men out there who can appreciate this point of view, and who don't believe that after a certain age women don't have a right to a sex life. Sure, you can say they were just using me – and that happens in your teens and 20s as well. All I can say is I live my life to the fullest and I'm not going to feel bad about it by judgmental, frigid women.

Wow, this is inspiring. I'm on the verge of 50, have been divorced 15 years but for various reasons haven't been very interested in dating over the last 10. I do want to date now and would especially enjoy some steady sexual partners but I don't have the stomach for the apps. I have a couple very occasional FWBs but am looking for something more than that but less than a LTR. Sounds like it's possible! What age range were you seeing at that point in your life? I am repeatedly told by men my age that I look a lot younger than I am but I still feel like guys in their late 40s-50s want women in their 30s.

I’ve not dated more than 10 years younger nor 2 years older. That works for me. I’ve used the apps and been happy with those I have met in them. If your expectations are realistic, you’ll have fun.

[Anonymous]

So how does this look for early 60s male - still lots of options?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The multiple posts on here trying to slut shame women for having sex is so sad. Here we are in 2024 and grown ass women are being told that having sex with grown ass men is ‘slutting it up’.
WTF.

Being past menopause and being old and sleeping around is what does not sound appealing. It was poor wording but same message.

Ok, I'll own it. I engaged in "slutting it up" in my 50s as a divorced woman and it was great. I had better sex than I had had in 20 years. I felt more fulfilled and joyful than I had felt in a long time. I felt beautiful again after a long time of not feeling that way. My story ended well and I ended up remarrying (one of the *several* guys I slutted it up with). Even if I hadn't remarried, I wouldn't feel bad. I have nothing to be ashamed of for being a sexual person and being older. Kind of pathetic that anyone would live otherwise.

What's nice is that there are a lot of men out there who can appreciate this point of view, and who don't believe that after a certain age women don't have a right to a sex life. Sure, you can say they were just using me – and that happens in your teens and 20s as well. All I can say is I live my life to the fullest and I'm not going to feel bad about it by judgmental, frigid women.

I am a married man and I will say good for you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation to have sex with one or more people. Sex is a good thing. I have never had sex and ended up sad. I love it everything about it lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So how does this look for early 60s male - still lots of options?

what do you look like physically? Can you get into shape? There are so many factors, right? I admittedly am more superficial now that I have everything I want.

[Anonymous]

My friend is divorced and is having fun. She is 51 and she is not interested in dating or re-marrying. Every week it seems like she has a new guy she is sleeping with. And they are much younger and some of them really look kind of trashy. But that’s her life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend is divorced and is having fun. She is 51 and she is not interested in dating or re-marrying.[/b] Every week it seems like she has a new guy she is sleeping with. [b]And they are much younger and some of them really look kind of trashy. But that’s her life.

Nasty

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And I am 100% certain my sons would be mortified if I was going around dating multiple men.

The only 50-year old divorcees doing that that I know of were also “dating” multiple men during their marriages too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend is divorced and is having fun. She is 51 and she is not interested in dating or re-marrying. Every week it seems like she has a new guy she is sleeping with. And they are much younger and some of them really look kind of trashy. But that’s her life.

She could be a sex addict. My ex wife was sex addict. Leading up to our divorce I found out she was meeting bunch of different men online for sex. Thank God I didn’t catch STI. That’s the only thing I was worried about.