Dating after divorce = less pressure

[Anonymous]

Divorced pre-COVID after a long marriage. Once I started dating, I found MIDDLE-aged women within a few years of my age in the DMV to be far more sexually liberated and active than my exW. This includes both in the bedroom or pre- in days leading up to dates. Texts. Photos. More awareness of what my partner wanted and openness to communicate exactly what she wanted. Equally, more openness to experiment to see what we both enjoyed. Not necessarily jumping into a sexual relationship quickly, but once there a lot of energy and creativity. I’ve had several relationships since my divorce and found this to be the case in nearly all instances.

[Anonymous]

NP here, you’re the annoying one. The still-married poster is giving a valid perspective of someone who is staying married because dating divorced doesn’t sound like less pressure or fun. It’s completely on-topic, it is just threatening to you for some reason, it seems.

NP. You should have led with the last line of your post. Her post and yours are off-topic (read the post's topic again; you missed it) and completely useless.

I am calling you out for your inane post in the hope that you and others will follow suit and stay on-topic. Otherwise, STFU, start a new thread, or post on the topic, as this one is interesting to me and others.

[Anonymous]

It is much much harder for divorced men no doubt. However are not doing that much better on OLD either. Basically what’s happening is that most of the 40+ divorced guys barely get a swipe and the women are inundated. But then these women pick a guy and oops a few months later he turned out to be a jerk. They keep repeating the process until they come to the same conclusion that OLD is horrible.

It is not much harder for divorced men (on OLD or IRF) unless they do not know what they are doing or are unattractive and unemployed. I am a 50+ man, and I am easily able to date. I am working professionally, fit, and an empty nester. For this demo, the dating world is wonderful.

It has always been that a 3 woman can more easily find an ONS than an 8 man. However, the 8 man can more easily find a relationship than the 3 woman. Let's compare population groups realistically. The THOTs can gain short-term market share and should be happy with that unless they are actually seeking a relationship. And divorced men can find wonderful women if they can just work on themselves and put some effort into it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

NP here, you’re the annoying one. The still-married poster is giving a valid perspective of someone who is staying married because dating divorced doesn’t sound like less pressure or fun. It’s completely on-topic, it is just threatening to you for some reason, it seems.

NP. You should have led with the last line of your post. Her post and yours are off-topic (read the post's topic again; you missed it) and completely useless.

I am calling you out for your inane post in the hope that you and others will follow suit and stay on-topic. Otherwise, STFU, start a new thread, or post on the topic, as this one is interesting to me and others.

Slutting it up in my fifties does not appeal to me. It is actually kind of gross.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who was living life after her second divorce. She must have slept with at least 20 men her first year of divorce. She parties and dated younger guys. She went on international trips with guys she met online. She eventually got sexually assaulted. Then she became an old maid overnight. She gained 30 pounds and stopped trying.

[Anonymous]

Slutting it up in my fifties does not appeal to me. It is actually kind of gross.

When you call other women "sluts" (even indirectly, like you did because you did not have the courage to do so directly) for the choices they make, you are trying to tell everyone that you are superior to them, even though you have no idea what their lives are like. You are proving that women, more than men, try to demean other women for their lifestyle choices.

You might be undesirable to most men and, as a result, would not have any chance to "slutting it up" if you were not married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Slutting it up in my fifties does not appeal to me. It is actually kind of gross.

When you call other women "sluts" (even indirectly, like you did because you did not have the courage to do so directly) for the choices they make, you are trying to tell everyone that you are superior to them, even though you have no idea what their lives are like. You are proving that women, more than men, try to demean other women for their lifestyle choices.

You might be undesirable to most men and, as a result, would not have any chance to "slutting it up" if you were not married.

In many cultures, divorce is highly frowned upon. A woman of any age being promiscuous would be looked down at. A woman who is old still doing this is sad.

You may feel hot and sexy. Would your kids or parents approve of your lifestyle?

[Anonymous]

Pp here. I have 2 sons and a daughter. My daughter is beautiful. I would not want her to sleep around in her teens and definitely not in her fifties! Maybe I’m just conservative.

[Anonymous]

And I am 100% certain my sons would be mortified if I was going around dating multiple men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So why such a nasty post? Saying we dating people “sleep with strangers” is insulting.

Why is it insulting? Unless you've known someone for a while, they are literally strangers, there is so much about them that you don't know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why such a nasty post? Saying we dating people “sleep with strangers” is insulting.

Why is it insulting? Unless you've known someone for a while, they are literally strangers, there is so much about them that you don't know.

When you meet someone online or at a bar, you have no idea who they are. This person could be a criminal.

I met my husband in grad school back in the day. I at least knew he was a real student and lived in a dorm.

My friends have moms who have been taken advantage of. My friend’s mom is a widow and she and her siblings get so upset when her mom dates these deadbeats. They say it is way worse when your mom is dating than your own child.

[Anonymous]

When you call other women "sluts" (even indirectly, like you did because you did not have the courage to do so directly) for the choices they make, you are trying to tell everyone that you are superior to them, even though you have no idea what their lives are like. You are proving that women, more than men, try to demean other women for their lifestyle choices.

You might be undesirable to most men and, as a result, would not have any chance to "slutting it up" if you were not married.

In many cultures, divorce is highly frowned upon. A woman of any age being promiscuous would be looked down at. A woman who is old and still doing this is sad.

You may feel hot and sexy. Would your kids or parents approve of your lifestyle?

Sadly, in many cultures, women can be killed for having relationships outside of marriage (e.g., relationships when they are not married) or relationships that the male members of her family did not approve of the family. I would not stand for that kind of abuse, and I am ashamed that you would.

Stick to American culture here on the DCUM board. We have rights here, and if you believe that these cultures are better for women then return to them ASAP.

Are you the judge of who and who is not promiscuous in our culture? Do you believe that women who are 50+ (or 40+) are old? How old are you?

The most sickening part of your post is your comment regarding what my children or parents think of my lifestyle. What kind of world do you live in where you share the details of your dating life with either group? Do your children tell you who to date? Do your parents? My feelings about my sexiness are my business and something I do not share with my family.

However, do you require either group's approval to date someone?

[Anonymous]

And I am 100% certain my sons would be mortified if I was going around dating multiple men.

Do you share details of your intimate life with your sons? That is disgusting. I am sad you posted it.

Have your sons dated more than one woman at a time (or in sequence) when they were single? If they are married, did they date multiple women before getting married?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 45 turning 46 this Saturday 😊. I have been divorced for 1 year and just started dating about 2 weeks ago. I must say I’m pleasantly surprised by the options I have had so far on OLD as a divorced dad. I have heard stories about men struggling on OLD but so far really beautiful and kind ladies have reached out. As the OP eloquently stated I equally do not feel any pressure at all. My divorce was amicable, we handled (so far) the impact on our teens well and are co-parenting well together. It could just be my luck so far but the woman I’m currently dating is 38 and she doesn’t want to have kids. Perhaps because I don’t feel any pressure to have a partner(I am not afraid to be alone or die alone) I am
more myself and interesting to be around. Men do worse than women after divorce and then to jump right into new relationships. Why? There is no pressure guys. Enjoy your kids if you have any and seek the company of a lady or guy if you want a partner or just a friend. In my opinion the biggest issue with people post divorce is that fear of being alone especially once you are past a certain age. And men do have an advantage I think. If you are a good guy, you are going to have a lot of options.

PP you are lucky. Divorced 45 year old male who is considered more of a "nice guy". What you described has not been my experience. Haven't ran into many "nice ladies" on OLD. Lots of bitter ladies who hate men and love to ghost. Taking a bit of a break now and trying to only date from people who I am meeting IRL.

Where are you meeting people IRL?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

When you call other women "sluts" (even indirectly, like you did because you did not have the courage to do so directly) for the choices they make, you are trying to tell everyone that you are superior to them, even though you have no idea what their lives are like. You are proving that women, more than men, try to demean other women for their lifestyle choices.

You might be undesirable to most men and, as a result, would not have any chance to "slutting it up" if you were not married.

In many cultures, divorce is highly frowned upon. A woman of any age being promiscuous would be looked down at. A woman who is old and still doing this is sad.

You may feel hot and sexy. Would your kids or parents approve of your lifestyle?

Sadly, in many cultures, women can be killed for having relationships outside of marriage (e.g., relationships when they are not married) or relationships that the male members of her family did not approve of the family. I would not stand for that kind of abuse, and I am ashamed that you would.

Stick to American culture here on the DCUM board. We have rights here, and if you believe that these cultures are better for women then return to them ASAP.

Are you the judge of who and who is not promiscuous in our culture? Do you believe that women who are 50+ (or 40+) are old? How old are you?

The most sickening part of your post is your comment regarding what my children or parents think of my lifestyle. What kind of world do you live in where you share the details of your dating life with either group? Do your children tell you who to date? Do your parents? My feelings about my sexiness are my business and something I do not share with my family.

However, do you require either group's approval to date someone?

There are certain divorced women on here, not necessarily you, who always advise people to divorce. They make divorce sound liberating and the best and better than marriage.

I grew up in America. We hang with mostly all families. The divorced people often seem to have constraints. In the beginning, we would continue to invite them as we did when the couple was married but the meetings are less and less frequent. They may go on about various men like a horny teen. It is not a good look.