Dating after divorce = less pressure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my mid forties in a meh marriage. I don’t doubt I could have more fun and enjoy myself if I were divorced.

My in laws are divorced. It is a huge pain and burden coordinating and planning separate sets of in laws. One side is basically not seen for most holidays. Our divorced friends’ holidays seem more stressful and unhappy.

I want my kids to come to their family home after college, thanksgiving, etc.

And while in your forties, you feel attractive and free. I am pushing 50 and I can feel myself aging. I don’t think I want to go have sex with strangers. It doesn’t sound appealing to me.

Ok, then stay married 🤷‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hook up culture is pure fun in short term but eventually you'll realize shallowness of these relationships. Enjoy while it lasts but be mindful about how it effects your children.

I am mid 40s and usually have one partner for 18 months for a year before it ends and I find somebody else. This doesn’t impact my children at all because they don’t even know about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my mid forties in a meh marriage. I don’t doubt I could have more fun and enjoy myself if I were divorced.

My in laws are divorced. It is a huge pain and burden coordinating and planning separate sets of in laws. One side is basically not seen for most holidays. Our divorced friends’ holidays seem more stressful and unhappy.

I want my kids to come to their family home after college, thanksgiving, etc.

And while in your forties, you feel attractive and free. I am pushing 50 and I can feel myself aging. I don’t think I want to go have sex with strangers. It doesn’t sound appealing to me.

Ok, then stay married 🤷‍♀️

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+1. I don’t know why this woman even posted. obviously she has a decent marriage worth staying for but a lot of people are divorced because they didn’t have a good marriage worth staying for, which has nothing to do with sex. if my marriage had been decent, yeah I wouldn’t wanna have sex with strangers either in my late 40s but my marriage sucked so this alternative is much better. (in fact when I was married, I didn’t even have sex for a decade and I couldn’t stand my in-laws and there were a lot of other problems.) I much prefer spending fewer holidays with my children alone then spending holidays with my husband or ex-husband. I’m looking forward to when they go to college and when they come home I just get to see them and I don’t have to talk to their dad at all anymore instead of coparenting. Obviously, her marriage is good enough to not even post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 45 turning 46 this Saturday 😊. I have been divorced for 1 year and just started dating about 2 weeks ago. I must say I’m pleasantly surprised by the options I have had so far on OLD as a divorced dad. I have heard stories about men struggling on OLD but so far really beautiful and kind ladies have reached out. As the OP eloquently stated I equally do not feel any pressure at all. My divorce was amicable, we handled (so far) the impact on our teens well and are co-parenting well together. It could just be my luck so far but the woman I’m currently dating is 38 and she doesn’t want to have kids. Perhaps because I don’t feel any pressure to have a partner(I am not afraid to be alone or die alone) I am
more myself and interesting to be around. Men do worse than women after divorce and then to jump right into new relationships. Why? There is no pressure guys. Enjoy your kids if you have any and seek the company of a lady or guy if you want a partner or just a friend. In my opinion the biggest issue with people post divorce is that fear of being alone especially once you are past a certain age. And men do have an advantage I think. If you are a good guy, you are going to have a lot of options.

PP you are lucky. Divorced 45 year old male who is considered more of a "nice guy". What you described has not been my experience. Haven't ran into many "nice ladies" on OLD. Lots of bitter ladies who hate men and love to ghost. Taking a bit of a break now and trying to only date from people who I am meeting IRL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 45 turning 46 this Saturday 😊. I have been divorced for 1 year and just started dating about 2 weeks ago. I must say I’m pleasantly surprised by the options I have had so far on OLD as a divorced dad. I have heard stories about men struggling on OLD but so far really beautiful and kind ladies have reached out. As the OP eloquently stated I equally do not feel any pressure at all. My divorce was amicable, we handled (so far) the impact on our teens well and are co-parenting well together. It could just be my luck so far but the woman I’m currently dating is 38 and she doesn’t want to have kids. Perhaps because I don’t feel any pressure to have a partner(I am not afraid to be alone or die alone) I am
more myself and interesting to be around. Men do worse than women after divorce and then to jump right into new relationships. Why? There is no pressure guys. Enjoy your kids if you have any and seek the company of a lady or guy if you want a partner or just a friend. In my opinion the biggest issue with people post divorce is that fear of being alone especially once you are past a certain age. And men do have an advantage I think. If you are a good guy, you are going to have a lot of options.

PP you are lucky. Divorced 45 year old male who is considered more of a "nice guy". What you described has not been my experience. Haven't ran into many "nice ladies" on OLD. Lots of bitter ladies who hate men and love to ghost. Taking a bit of a break now and trying to only date from people who I am meeting IRL.

The guy above is just full of himself and doesn't understand he was lucky to meet that 38 yo woman who is sane, not using him as a sperm bank or pressures for marriage. He'll dump her of course, and will be single well into 50s hoping to find the ONE that checks all the boxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my mid forties in a meh marriage. I don’t doubt I could have more fun and enjoy myself if I were divorced.

My in laws are divorced. It is a huge pain and burden coordinating and planning separate sets of in laws. One side is basically not seen for most holidays. Our divorced friends’ holidays seem more stressful and unhappy.

I want my kids to come to their family home after college, thanksgiving, etc.

And while in your forties, you feel attractive and free. I am pushing 50 and I can feel myself aging. I don’t think I want to go have sex with strangers. It doesn’t sound appealing to me.

Ok, then stay married 🤷‍♀️

-
+1. I don’t know why this woman even posted. obviously she has a decent marriage worth staying for but a lot of people are divorced because they didn’t have a good marriage worth staying for, which has nothing to do with sex. if my marriage had been decent, yeah I wouldn’t wanna have sex with strangers either in my late 40s but my marriage sucked so this alternative is much better. (in fact when I was married, I didn’t even have sex for a decade and I couldn’t stand my in-laws and there were a lot of other problems.) I much prefer spending fewer holidays with my children alone then spending holidays with my husband or ex-husband. I’m looking forward to when they go to college and when they come home I just get to see them and I don’t have to talk to their dad at all anymore instead of coparenting. Obviously, her marriage is good enough to not even post.

I don’t have a decent marriage. Sure, there is no abuse and no cheating. DH earns a high income and helps with kids and house. Our actual marriage sucks and if it weren’t for the kids, we would be divorced by now. I have thought about divorce for the past decade. The thought of being with DH after kids leave is quite depressing to me.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I don’t really want to have sex with strangers but I don’t want to have sex with DH either.

I do think it would be fun meeting new people and going on dates. It isn’t worth blowing up my family for though.

[Anonymous]

So why such a nasty post? Saying we dating people “sleep with strangers” is insulting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So why such a nasty post? Saying we dating people “sleep with strangers” is insulting.

I didn’t mean for it to be insulting. I have been with Dh for over 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why such a nasty post? Saying we dating people “sleep with strangers” is insulting.

I didn’t mean for it to be insulting. I have been with Dh for over 20 years.

. It was. I’ve been divorced for six years and do t sleep with strangers- I choose lovers wisely and tend to date for about 12-18 mos then move on. That’s when things get complicated with meeting kids and whatnot and that isn’t what I want. I’m a great mom and a wise woman and my kids have never met anyone I’ve dated. I put them first and am very discreet- no one meets them.

Trust me- limerance or the feeling of falling for someone is amazing. All single women are not sluts who sleep with strangers. I’m enthusiastic about sex and the couple of people I’ve dated have been wonderful guys and exciting lovers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm traumatized by sex from the past and just can't do casual sex so it's awful for me. Being with a new random guy every four months in bed just makes me feel sick. Hoping as I age there are more groups for single people to join to jut do non sexual activities with so I don't have to date anymore.

Today’s OLD hookup culture is nasty even for those not traumatized.

+1. You can thank the Tech Bros for that. They successfully managed to spread their filthy view of relationship into us.

Women today are bad if not worse. My mid 20-early 30s said they all want to bang first meet and sleep with so many different dudes. It’s gross out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a 52 YO male divorced for two years I’m pleasantly surprised by the number of women who just want to have fun, especially those who are empty nesters. By fun I’m not talking about ONS. Over time they might want to have a LTR, as I do, but that’s not the current priority. Marriage can be a spontaneity and sex life killer and it is now fun to flip that upside down on a week night. When a woman calls me for that kind of night I’m thrilled.

Empty nest is great for spontaneity even if you are married. My husband and I now like the weeknight stuff even more —no dinners or kids sports stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 45 turning 46 this Saturday 😊. I have been divorced for 1 year and just started dating about 2 weeks ago. I must say I’m pleasantly surprised by the options I have had so far on OLD as a divorced dad. I have heard stories about men struggling on OLD but so far really beautiful and kind ladies have reached out. As the OP eloquently stated I equally do not feel any pressure at all. My divorce was amicable, we handled (so far) the impact on our teens well and are co-parenting well together. It could just be my luck so far but the woman I’m currently dating is 38 and she doesn’t want to have kids. Perhaps because I don’t feel any pressure to have a partner(I am not afraid to be alone or die alone) I am
more myself and interesting to be around. Men do worse than women after divorce and then to jump right into new relationships. Why? There is no pressure guys. Enjoy your kids if you have any and seek the company of a lady or guy if you want a partner or just a friend. In my opinion the biggest issue with people post divorce is that fear of being alone especially once you are past a certain age. And men do have an advantage I think. If you are a good guy, you are going to have a lot of options.

PP you are lucky. Divorced 45 year old male who is considered more of a "nice guy". What you described has not been my experience. Haven't ran into many "nice ladies" on OLD. Lots of bitter ladies who hate men and love to ghost. Taking a bit of a break now and trying to only date from people who I am meeting IRL.

It is much much harder for divorced men no doubt. However are not doing that much better on OLD either. Basically what’s happening is that most of the 40+ divorced guys barely get a swipe and the women are inundated. But then these women pick a guy and oops a few months later he turned out to be a jerk. They keep repeating the process until they come to the same conclusion that OLD is horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m in my mid forties in a meh marriage. I don’t doubt I could have more fun and enjoy myself if I were divorced.

My in laws are divorced. It is a huge pain and burden coordinating and planning separate sets of in laws. One side is basically not seen for most holidays. Our divorced friends’ holidays seem more stressful and unhappy.

I want my kids to come to their family home after college, thanksgiving, etc.

And while in your forties, you feel attractive and free. I am pushing 50 and I can feel myself aging. I don’t think I want to go have sex with strangers. It doesn’t sound appealing to me.

Ok, then stay married 🤷‍♀️

-
+1. I don’t know why this woman even posted. obviously she has a decent marriage worth staying for but a lot of people are divorced because they didn’t have a good marriage worth staying for, which has nothing to do with sex. if my marriage had been decent, yeah I wouldn’t wanna have sex with strangers either in my late 40s but my marriage sucked so this alternative is much better. (in fact when I was married, I didn’t even have sex for a decade and I couldn’t stand my in-laws and there were a lot of other problems.) I much prefer spending fewer holidays with my children alone then spending holidays with my husband or ex-husband. I’m looking forward to when they go to college and when they come home I just get to see them and I don’t have to talk to their dad at all anymore instead of coparenting. Obviously, her marriage is good enough to not even post.

I don’t have a decent marriage. Sure, there is no abuse and no cheating. DH earns a high income and helps with kids and house. Our actual marriage sucks and if it weren’t for the kids, we would be divorced by now. I have thought about divorce for the past decade. The thought of being with DH after kids leave is quite depressing to me.

Isn’t that the state of over 50% of marriages though? Women by far are the most unsatisfied in a marriage and it amazes that they keep believing in the institution. It’s crazy.

[Anonymous]

Women have it easier. The apps were built for them. Unless you are at least an 8 guy good luck. Even a 2 woman has so many choices that she will pass on a 7 guy.