Men if you could order the perfect wife/partner she would…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are two kinds of men:

1. Men who have a list;

2. Men who meet a woman and decide she is everything on his list.

I think my husband was #2. I can’t see the man making a list even if his life depended on it. I think #2 might be easier to live with.

How do you differentiate between having a list and just basic qualifications? For example, I only dated women attending college like me. I wanted someone that had basic sense about budgeting/financial responsibility. I wouldn't say my requirements were long but it wasn't an open-ended thing either. Surely even your DH had dealbreakers back then.

I think he had a “list” in that there were just the most basic requirements- college educated, same religion as him, decent family. I think that’s where DH’s list ended and he could have married another woman who was completely different than me if she had crossed his path. Men here who are like: “must love sex and also the back door,” are reaching a level of specificity that I think might make them more difficult as partners. A lot of men are easygoing and easier to keep happy.

I can see how a woman not liking sex would be a deal breaker for some men. I think that the back door guy probably just wants someone who is kinky. If she didn’t like that particular thing but was into sex parties or BDSM or something, he would probably like that too.


I have three tween/teen sons, and I think that two of them will be much happier if they marry women who like sex. They are the kind of boys who are always hugging and snuggling with me or wrestling with their dad or their friends. They just like touching a lot and have since they were really little. If either of them end up in one of these sexless, touchless marriages that people post about on here, they will be miserable.

Not a great predictor! My husband is very snuggly and physically affectionate but not very into sex. A woman with a low libido would have been terribly happy with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No woman satisfies all of my wish list but here is a list with more important items toward the top:

Inquisitive
Intelligent
Has interesting things to say
Sexually responsive in bed (has many Os, so women who tell me they like sex but rarely reach O with a man are not going to hold my attention for the long term)
Comfortable talking with me about feelings, family, politics, etc
Passionate about things she does in the world (career, community service, making music or art...but I almost never click with stay at home moms)
Attractive (can be unconventionally attractive)
Likes to cook with me or do other things with me
Challenges me to be a better person
Attuned to my body (not as important as enjoying what I do to her, as long as I get basic needs met)
Compatible with my friends
Compatible with my family
Active
Likes exploring the city
Likes to travel
Financially independent


I actually meet a fair number of women like this but the ones I like best usually end up preferring someone who is hotter. Plenty of smart and hot women like me too, but there's usually an obvious quality listed above that's missing.

All women can O. You’re either skilled enough to attune to her body responses to make her O or you have good enough communication skills to learn and explore her body with her to reach an O.

If she’s not reaching Os with you, then it’s a you thing.

I knew someone (many people) would have this reaction. I actually am skilled, according to some women, and I've taught some very late bloomers how to O. I'm talking about older women who never had an O in their lives or never had one with another person present. I am extremely calms and patient in bed, take a lot of time to explore, and am pretty gentle. Several women have told me they find it much easier with me than with most other men (or in a few cases all other men).

BUT some women have not been attracted to me once the action starts. Or they wanted me to be rougher than I'm naturally inclined to be. I think I'm just incompatible with those women.

A few have said they actually are attracted to me and actually like they way I touch them but they also say they can't O with me, or with most men. Some of these women have said things like "I can do it but only with a vibrator " Unfortunately, I find using a vibrator to be a major turn off. I know some men don't mind it but I do. It's a bigger deal to me than being overweight or having an ugly face.

I've also encountered the problem of a woman needing me to be very turned on before she can get very turned on. I'm pretty much the same way. I need the woman to be turned on first. If both of us need this, then neither of us gets very turned on. and there's lots of disappointment. I actually enjoy being with somewhat selfish lovers for this reason.

Some people are just not compatible. If I don't get turned on by a woman very much, I probably wouldn't say "it's a you thing."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No woman satisfies all of my wish list but here is a list with more important items toward the top:

Inquisitive
Intelligent
Has interesting things to say
Sexually responsive in bed (has many Os, so women who tell me they like sex but rarely reach O with a man are not going to hold my attention for the long term)
Comfortable talking with me about feelings, family, politics, etc
Passionate about things she does in the world (career, community service, making music or art...but I almost never click with stay at home moms)
Attractive (can be unconventionally attractive)
Likes to cook with me or do other things with me
Challenges me to be a better person
Attuned to my body (not as important as enjoying what I do to her, as long as I get basic needs met)
Compatible with my friends
Compatible with my family
Active
Likes exploring the city
Likes to travel
Financially independent


I actually meet a fair number of women like this but the ones I like best usually end up preferring someone who is hotter. Plenty of smart and hot women like me too, but there's usually an obvious quality listed above that's missing.

All women can O. You’re either skilled enough to attune to her body responses to make her O or you have good enough communication skills to learn and explore her body with her to reach an O.

If she’s not reaching Os with you, then it’s a you thing.

I knew someone (many people) would have this reaction. I actually am skilled, according to some women, and I've taught some very late bloomers how to O. I'm talking about older women who never had an O in their lives or never had one with another person present. I am extremely calms and patient in bed, take a lot of time to explore, and am pretty gentle. Several women have told me they find it much easier with me than with most other men (or in a few cases all other men).

BUT some women have not been attracted to me once the action starts. Or they wanted me to be rougher than I'm naturally inclined to be. I think I'm just incompatible with those women.

A few have said they actually are attracted to me and actually like they way I touch them but they also say they can't O with me, or with most men. Some of these women have said things like "I can do it but only with a vibrator " Unfortunately, I find using a vibrator to be a major turn off. I know some men don't mind it but I do. It's a bigger deal to me than being overweight or having an ugly face.

I've also encountered the problem of a woman needing me to be very turned on before she can get very turned on. I'm pretty much the same way. I need the woman to be turned on first. If both of us need this, then neither of us gets very turned on. and there's lots of disappointment. I actually enjoy being with somewhat selfish lovers for this reason.

Some people are just not compatible. If I don't get turned on by a woman very much, I probably wouldn't say "it's a you thing."

That’s not what you said originally. You said “women who don’t reach O with a man”.

My comment remains, these women that you are not compatible with can O. They may O in a way that’s different then you want them to. For example the woman that likes using a vibrator. She may like vibrator play with sex. Lots of women only have C Os, for them vibrator play with PIV gives them pleasure that they like. She can still O with a man that way.

You don’t like that. That’s a you thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No woman satisfies all of my wish list but here is a list with more important items toward the top:

Inquisitive
Intelligent
Has interesting things to say
Sexually responsive in bed (has many Os, so women who tell me they like sex but rarely reach O with a man are not going to hold my attention for the long term)
Comfortable talking with me about feelings, family, politics, etc
Passionate about things she does in the world (career, community service, making music or art...but I almost never click with stay at home moms)
Attractive (can be unconventionally attractive)
Likes to cook with me or do other things with me
Challenges me to be a better person
Attuned to my body (not as important as enjoying what I do to her, as long as I get basic needs met)
Compatible with my friends
Compatible with my family
Active
Likes exploring the city
Likes to travel
Financially independent


I actually meet a fair number of women like this but the ones I like best usually end up preferring someone who is hotter. Plenty of smart and hot women like me too, but there's usually an obvious quality listed above that's missing.

All women can O. You’re either skilled enough to attune to her body responses to make her O or you have good enough communication skills to learn and explore her body with her to reach an O.

If she’s not reaching Os with you, then it’s a you thing.

I knew someone (many people) would have this reaction. I actually am skilled, according to some women, and I've taught some very late bloomers how to O. I'm talking about older women who never had an O in their lives or never had one with another person present. I am extremely calms and patient in bed, take a lot of time to explore, and am pretty gentle. Several women have told me they find it much easier with me than with most other men (or in a few cases all other men).

BUT some women have not been attracted to me once the action starts. Or they wanted me to be rougher than I'm naturally inclined to be. I think I'm just incompatible with those women.

A few have said they actually are attracted to me and actually like they way I touch them but they also say they can't O with me, or with most men. Some of these women have said things like "I can do it but only with a vibrator " Unfortunately, I find using a vibrator to be a major turn off. I know some men don't mind it but I do. It's a bigger deal to me than being overweight or having an ugly face.

I've also encountered the problem of a woman needing me to be very turned on before she can get very turned on. I'm pretty much the same way. I need the woman to be turned on first. If both of us need this, then neither of us gets very turned on. and there's lots of disappointment. I actually enjoy being with somewhat selfish lovers for this reason.

Some people are just not compatible. If I don't get turned on by a woman very much, I probably wouldn't say "it's a you thing."

That’s not what you said originally. You said “women who don’t reach O with a man”.

My comment remains, these women that you are not compatible with can O. They may O in a way that’s different then you want them to. For example the woman that likes using a vibrator. She may like vibrator play with sex. Lots of women only have C Os, for them vibrator play with PIV gives them pleasure that they like. She can still O with a man that way.

You don’t like that. That’s a you thing.

+1 to it being a him thing, and the bit about vibrators being a turnoff is a tell and a half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No woman satisfies all of my wish list but here is a list with more important items toward the top:

Inquisitive
Intelligent
Has interesting things to say
Sexually responsive in bed (has many Os, so women who tell me they like sex but rarely reach O with a man are not going to hold my attention for the long term)
Comfortable talking with me about feelings, family, politics, etc
Passionate about things she does in the world (career, community service, making music or art...but I almost never click with stay at home moms)
Attractive (can be unconventionally attractive)
Likes to cook with me or do other things with me
Challenges me to be a better person
Attuned to my body (not as important as enjoying what I do to her, as long as I get basic needs met)
Compatible with my friends
Compatible with my family
Active
Likes exploring the city
Likes to travel
Financially independent


I actually meet a fair number of women like this but the ones I like best usually end up preferring someone who is hotter. Plenty of smart and hot women like me too, but there's usually an obvious quality listed above that's missing.

All women can O. You’re either skilled enough to attune to her body responses to make her O or you have good enough communication skills to learn and explore her body with her to reach an O.

If she’s not reaching Os with you, then it’s a you thing.

I knew someone (many people) would have this reaction. I actually am skilled, according to some women, and I've taught some very late bloomers how to O. I'm talking about older women who never had an O in their lives or never had one with another person present. I am extremely calms and patient in bed, take a lot of time to explore, and am pretty gentle. Several women have told me they find it much easier with me than with most other men (or in a few cases all other men).

BUT some women have not been attracted to me once the action starts. Or they wanted me to be rougher than I'm naturally inclined to be. I think I'm just incompatible with those women.

A few have said they actually are attracted to me and actually like they way I touch them but they also say they can't O with me, or with most men. Some of these women have said things like "I can do it but only with a vibrator " Unfortunately, I find using a vibrator to be a major turn off. I know some men don't mind it but I do. It's a bigger deal to me than being overweight or having an ugly face.

I've also encountered the problem of a woman needing me to be very turned on before she can get very turned on. I'm pretty much the same way. I need the woman to be turned on first. If both of us need this, then neither of us gets very turned on. and there's lots of disappointment. I actually enjoy being with somewhat selfish lovers for this reason.

Some people are just not compatible. If I don't get turned on by a woman very much, I probably wouldn't say "it's a you thing."

It’s really weird how men talk about sex like it’s some kind of solitary activity that they are doing to another person. Like they are performing surgery and the woman is under anesthesia or something.

Sex is more like playing a cooperative game with your friend. If your partner doesn’t know what they are doing, then you teach them and vice versa. You don’t just throw up year hands and say “we can’t be friends.”

Now, if your friend doesn’t like any of the same games you do, then that’s a different story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No woman satisfies all of my wish list but here is a list with more important items toward the top:

Inquisitive
Intelligent
Has interesting things to say
Sexually responsive in bed (has many Os, so women who tell me they like sex but rarely reach O with a man are not going to hold my attention for the long term)
Comfortable talking with me about feelings, family, politics, etc
Passionate about things she does in the world (career, community service, making music or art...but I almost never click with stay at home moms)
Attractive (can be unconventionally attractive)
Likes to cook with me or do other things with me
Challenges me to be a better person
Attuned to my body (not as important as enjoying what I do to her, as long as I get basic needs met)
Compatible with my friends
Compatible with my family
Active
Likes exploring the city
Likes to travel
Financially independent


I actually meet a fair number of women like this but the ones I like best usually end up preferring someone who is hotter. Plenty of smart and hot women like me too, but there's usually an obvious quality listed above that's missing.

All women can O. You’re either skilled enough to attune to her body responses to make her O or you have good enough communication skills to learn and explore her body with her to reach an O.

If she’s not reaching Os with you, then it’s a you thing.

I knew someone (many people) would have this reaction. I actually am skilled, according to some women, and I've taught some very late bloomers how to O. I'm talking about older women who never had an O in their lives or never had one with another person present. I am extremely calms and patient in bed, take a lot of time to explore, and am pretty gentle. Several women have told me they find it much easier with me than with most other men (or in a few cases all other men).

BUT some women have not been attracted to me once the action starts. Or they wanted me to be rougher than I'm naturally inclined to be. I think I'm just incompatible with those women.

A few have said they actually are attracted to me and actually like they way I touch them but they also say they can't O with me, or with most men. Some of these women have said things like "I can do it but only with a vibrator " Unfortunately, I find using a vibrator to be a major turn off. I know some men don't mind it but I do. It's a bigger deal to me than being overweight or having an ugly face.

I've also encountered the problem of a woman needing me to be very turned on before she can get very turned on. I'm pretty much the same way. I need the woman to be turned on first. If both of us need this, then neither of us gets very turned on. and there's lots of disappointment. I actually enjoy being with somewhat selfish lovers for this reason.

Some people are just not compatible. If I don't get turned on by a woman very much, I probably wouldn't say "it's a you thing."

It’s really weird how men talk about sex like it’s some kind of solitary activity that they are doing to another person. Like they are performing surgery and the woman is under anesthesia or something.

Sex is more like playing a cooperative game with your friend. If your partner doesn’t know what they are doing, then you teach them and vice versa. You don’t just throw up year hands and say “we can’t be friends.”

Now, if your friend doesn’t like any of the same games you do, then that’s a different story.

So true!

This guy keeps saying , I don’t like.. I like… and can’t see that it’s him!

He doesn’t like it when a woman likes it a little rough, he doesn’t like it when a woman likes toys, he needs the woman to be turned on first… and then he blames the woman for not having an O while simultaneously calling himself a “skilled” lover.

The lack of self awareness is hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Have no will or personal opinions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No woman satisfies all of my wish list but here is a list with more important items toward the top:

Inquisitive
Intelligent
Has interesting things to say
Sexually responsive in bed (has many Os, so women who tell me they like sex but rarely reach O with a man are not going to hold my attention for the long term)
Comfortable talking with me about feelings, family, politics, etc
Passionate about things she does in the world (career, community service, making music or art...but I almost never click with stay at home moms)
Attractive (can be unconventionally attractive)
Likes to cook with me or do other things with me
Challenges me to be a better person
Attuned to my body (not as important as enjoying what I do to her, as long as I get basic needs met)
Compatible with my friends
Compatible with my family
Active
Likes exploring the city
Likes to travel
Financially independent


I actually meet a fair number of women like this but the ones I like best usually end up preferring someone who is hotter. Plenty of smart and hot women like me too, but there's usually an obvious quality listed above that's missing.

All women can O. You’re either skilled enough to attune to her body responses to make her O or you have good enough communication skills to learn and explore her body with her to reach an O.

If she’s not reaching Os with you, then it’s a you thing.

I knew someone (many people) would have this reaction. I actually am skilled, according to some women, and I've taught some very late bloomers how to O. I'm talking about older women who never had an O in their lives or never had one with another person present. I am extremely calms and patient in bed, take a lot of time to explore, and am pretty gentle. Several women have told me they find it much easier with me than with most other men (or in a few cases all other men).

BUT some women have not been attracted to me once the action starts. Or they wanted me to be rougher than I'm naturally inclined to be. I think I'm just incompatible with those women.

A few have said they actually are attracted to me and actually like they way I touch them but they also say they can't O with me, or with most men. Some of these women have said things like "I can do it but only with a vibrator " Unfortunately, I find using a vibrator to be a major turn off. I know some men don't mind it but I do. It's a bigger deal to me than being overweight or having an ugly face.

I've also encountered the problem of a woman needing me to be very turned on before she can get very turned on. I'm pretty much the same way. I need the woman to be turned on first. If both of us need this, then neither of us gets very turned on. and there's lots of disappointment. I actually enjoy being with somewhat selfish lovers for this reason.

Some people are just not compatible. If I don't get turned on by a woman very much, I probably wouldn't say "it's a you thing."

It’s really weird how men talk about sex like it’s some kind of solitary activity that they are doing to another person. Like they are performing surgery and the woman is under anesthesia or something.

Sex is more like playing a cooperative game with your friend. If your partner doesn’t know what they are doing, then you teach them and vice versa. You don’t just throw up year hands and say “we can’t be friends.”

Now, if your friend doesn’t like any of the same games you do, then that’s a different story.

So true!

This guy keeps saying , I don’t like.. I like… and can’t see that it’s him!

He doesn’t like it when a woman likes it a little rough, he doesn’t like it when a woman likes toys, he needs the woman to be turned on first… and then he blames the woman for not having an O while simultaneously calling himself a “skilled” lover.

The lack of self awareness is hilarious.

And he wants multiple Os or will lose interest!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No woman satisfies all of my wish list but here is a list with more important items toward the top:

Inquisitive
Intelligent
Has interesting things to say
Sexually responsive in bed (has many Os, so women who tell me they like sex but rarely reach O with a man are not going to hold my attention for the long term)
Comfortable talking with me about feelings, family, politics, etc
Passionate about things she does in the world (career, community service, making music or art...but I almost never click with stay at home moms)
Attractive (can be unconventionally attractive)
Likes to cook with me or do other things with me
Challenges me to be a better person
Attuned to my body (not as important as enjoying what I do to her, as long as I get basic needs met)
Compatible with my friends
Compatible with my family
Active
Likes exploring the city
Likes to travel
Financially independent


I actually meet a fair number of women like this but the ones I like best usually end up preferring someone who is hotter. Plenty of smart and hot women like me too, but there's usually an obvious quality listed above that's missing.

All women can O. You’re either skilled enough to attune to her body responses to make her O or you have good enough communication skills to learn and explore her body with her to reach an O.

If she’s not reaching Os with you, then it’s a you thing.

I knew someone (many people) would have this reaction. I actually am skilled, according to some women, and I've taught some very late bloomers how to O. I'm talking about older women who never had an O in their lives or never had one with another person present. I am extremely calms and patient in bed, take a lot of time to explore, and am pretty gentle. Several women have told me they find it much easier with me than with most other men (or in a few cases all other men).

BUT some women have not been attracted to me once the action starts. Or they wanted me to be rougher than I'm naturally inclined to be. I think I'm just incompatible with those women.

A few have said they actually are attracted to me and actually like they way I touch them but they also say they can't O with me, or with most men. Some of these women have said things like "I can do it but only with a vibrator " Unfortunately, I find using a vibrator to be a major turn off. I know some men don't mind it but I do. It's a bigger deal to me than being overweight or having an ugly face.

I've also encountered the problem of a woman needing me to be very turned on before she can get very turned on. I'm pretty much the same way. I need the woman to be turned on first. If both of us need this, then neither of us gets very turned on. and there's lots of disappointment. I actually enjoy being with somewhat selfish lovers for this reason.

Some people are just not compatible. If I don't get turned on by a woman very much, I probably wouldn't say "it's a you thing."

It’s really weird how men talk about sex like it’s some kind of solitary activity that they are doing to another person. Like they are performing surgery and the woman is under anesthesia or something.

Sex is more like playing a cooperative game with your friend. If your partner doesn’t know what they are doing, then you teach them and vice versa. You don’t just throw up year hands and say “we can’t be friends.”

Now, if your friend doesn’t like any of the same games you do, then that’s a different story.

So true!

This guy keeps saying , I don’t like.. I like… and can’t see that it’s him!

He doesn’t like it when a woman likes it a little rough, he doesn’t like it when a woman likes toys, he needs the woman to be turned on first… and then he blames the woman for not having an O while simultaneously calling himself a “skilled” lover.

The lack of self awareness is hilarious.

Well, it’s more that I don’t think he has ever been in a long term relationship.
In a normal marriage, people would put their heads together and come up with something that turns one or the other of them on first.
A man could say something to his wife or long term girlfriend, and she could figure out a way to O on her own without the toys and show him how to do it.

Whatever happens, this is a two player game.
A woman isn’t a mystery to unlock. She’s another human being playing too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No woman satisfies all of my wish list but here is a list with more important items toward the top:

Inquisitive
Intelligent
Has interesting things to say
Sexually responsive in bed (has many Os, so women who tell me they like sex but rarely reach O with a man are not going to hold my attention for the long term)
Comfortable talking with me about feelings, family, politics, etc
Passionate about things she does in the world (career, community service, making music or art...but I almost never click with stay at home moms)
Attractive (can be unconventionally attractive)
Likes to cook with me or do other things with me
Challenges me to be a better person
Attuned to my body (not as important as enjoying what I do to her, as long as I get basic needs met)
Compatible with my friends
Compatible with my family
Active
Likes exploring the city
Likes to travel
Financially independent


I actually meet a fair number of women like this but the ones I like best usually end up preferring someone who is hotter. Plenty of smart and hot women like me too, but there's usually an obvious quality listed above that's missing.

All women can O. You’re either skilled enough to attune to her body responses to make her O or you have good enough communication skills to learn and explore her body with her to reach an O.

If she’s not reaching Os with you, then it’s a you thing.

I knew someone (many people) would have this reaction. I actually am skilled, according to some women, and I've taught some very late bloomers how to O. I'm talking about older women who never had an O in their lives or never had one with another person present. I am extremely calms and patient in bed, take a lot of time to explore, and am pretty gentle. Several women have told me they find it much easier with me than with most other men (or in a few cases all other men).

BUT some women have not been attracted to me once the action starts. Or they wanted me to be rougher than I'm naturally inclined to be. I think I'm just incompatible with those women.

A few have said they actually are attracted to me and actually like they way I touch them but they also say they can't O with me, or with most men. Some of these women have said things like "I can do it but only with a vibrator " Unfortunately, I find using a vibrator to be a major turn off. I know some men don't mind it but I do. It's a bigger deal to me than being overweight or having an ugly face.

I've also encountered the problem of a woman needing me to be very turned on before she can get very turned on. I'm pretty much the same way. I need the woman to be turned on first. If both of us need this, then neither of us gets very turned on. and there's lots of disappointment. I actually enjoy being with somewhat selfish lovers for this reason.

Some people are just not compatible. If I don't get turned on by a woman very much, I probably wouldn't say "it's a you thing."

It’s really weird how men talk about sex like it’s some kind of solitary activity that they are doing to another person. Like they are performing surgery and the woman is under anesthesia or something.

Sex is more like playing a cooperative game with your friend. If your partner doesn’t know what they are doing, then you teach them and vice versa. You don’t just throw up year hands and say “we can’t be friends.”

I’m a guy and I agree with this entirely! But sometimes it doesn’t always work out. I’m a huge introvert in the bedroom and even though I’m willing to be taught the rules of the game sometimes I get the “why don’t you know what to do?” Moment.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, if she isn’t interested in it enough to have figured herself out, there’s no way you will.

Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No woman satisfies all of my wish list but here is a list with more important items toward the top:

Inquisitive
Intelligent
Has interesting things to say
Sexually responsive in bed (has many Os, so women who tell me they like sex but rarely reach O with a man are not going to hold my attention for the long term)
Comfortable talking with me about feelings, family, politics, etc
Passionate about things she does in the world (career, community service, making music or art...but I almost never click with stay at home moms)
Attractive (can be unconventionally attractive)
Likes to cook with me or do other things with me
Challenges me to be a better person
Attuned to my body (not as important as enjoying what I do to her, as long as I get basic needs met)
Compatible with my friends
Compatible with my family
Active
Likes exploring the city
Likes to travel
Financially independent


I actually meet a fair number of women like this but the ones I like best usually end up preferring someone who is hotter. Plenty of smart and hot women like me too, but there's usually an obvious quality listed above that's missing.

All women can O. You’re either skilled enough to attune to her body responses to make her O or you have good enough communication skills to learn and explore her body with her to reach an O.

If she’s not reaching Os with you, then it’s a you thing.

I knew someone (many people) would have this reaction. I actually am skilled, according to some women, and I've taught some very late bloomers how to O. I'm talking about older women who never had an O in their lives or never had one with another person present. I am extremely calms and patient in bed, take a lot of time to explore, and am pretty gentle. Several women have told me they find it much easier with me than with most other men (or in a few cases all other men).

BUT some women have not been attracted to me once the action starts. Or they wanted me to be rougher than I'm naturally inclined to be. I think I'm just incompatible with those women.

A few have said they actually are attracted to me and actually like they way I touch them but they also say they can't O with me, or with most men. Some of these women have said things like "I can do it but only with a vibrator " Unfortunately, I find using a vibrator to be a major turn off. I know some men don't mind it but I do. It's a bigger deal to me than being overweight or having an ugly face.

I've also encountered the problem of a woman needing me to be very turned on before she can get very turned on. I'm pretty much the same way. I need the woman to be turned on first. If both of us need this, then neither of us gets very turned on. and there's lots of disappointment. I actually enjoy being with somewhat selfish lovers for this reason.

Some people are just not compatible. If I don't get turned on by a woman very much, I probably wouldn't say "it's a you thing."

It’s really weird how men talk about sex like it’s some kind of solitary activity that they are doing to another person. Like they are performing surgery and the woman is under anesthesia or something.

Sex is more like playing a cooperative game with your friend. If your partner doesn’t know what they are doing, then you teach them and vice versa. You don’t just throw up year hands and say “we can’t be friends.”

I’m a guy and I agree with this entirely! But sometimes it doesn’t always work out. I’m a huge introvert in the bedroom and even though I’m willing to be taught the rules of the game sometimes I get the “why don’t you know what to do?” Moment.

You get it- meaning you are understandi the sentiment or someone expresses the sentiment to you?

[Anonymous]

I think it's great that some women who otherwise can't achieve O are actually able to do it with a vibrator. I also think it's great that some men like playing with toys. That said, I'm probably not the only guy who finds them a turn off. Is that a "tell"? Well, I'm telling you I find it to be a turn off. So yes, I guess so.

And I don't usually like very rough sex. Is that a tell too? I suppose so.

I try to be very attuned to my partner but I don't try to be someone I'm not in bed. I admit that some otherwise good relationships ended quickly because of this. But wasn't this thread supposed to be about what I want? It turns out that what I want is different from what some of the other men want. Nevertheless, despite the variations, we are ALL jerks, it seems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She is curvy
She Doesn’t stress over gaining 2 pounds
She doesn’t scream over small things
Enjoys working out with me at the gym
Keeps natural grooming (I don’t like shaved p***sy)
Enjoys a***nal
Likes to travel to interesting places
Dislikes all inclusive hotels
Doesn’t insist that I share her political views
Doesn’t force me to be religious (I don’t mind if she is, religion is a personal issue)
If she is going to cheat, she should let me know so I can dump her

Good luck finding a woman who will even tolerate that, let alone "enjoy."

I’m a woman and I enjoy it very much. BF and I do it about 50% of the time.

You nasty

lol I agree. Plus PP should be worried that her lady bits are no longer viable let's say or giving him enough resistance, 50% of the time he wants it else were. Strange and gross. He should get a boyfriend on the side.

I’m very petite and haven’t given birth so my lady bits are in great shape. I’m willing to bet both my body and my lady bits are in better shape than yours. When it happens elsewhere it’s usually because I’ve asked for it. BF thinks it’s hot that I like it and is happy to oblige.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's great that some women who otherwise can't achieve O are actually able to do it with a vibrator. I also think it's great that some men like playing with toys. That said, I'm probably not the only guy who finds them a turn off. Is that a "tell"? Well, I'm telling you I find it to be a turn off. So yes, I guess so.

And I don't usually like very rough sex. Is that a tell too? I suppose so.

I try to be very attuned to my partner but I don't try to be someone I'm not in bed. I admit that some otherwise good relationships ended quickly because of this. But wasn't this thread supposed to be about what I want? It turns out that what I want is different from what some of the other men want. Nevertheless, despite the variations, we are ALL jerks, it seems.

You’re still not getting it. Which is sad and explains a lot.

Your original post was putting the blame on the woman for not having multiple Os with you. But it’s you that is not into having sex the way they O. That is not a problem with the woman.