Spouse and I disagree about redshirting son

[Anonymous]

When my son was in K he was on paper supposed to be the oldest in kindergarten because his birthday is two days after the cut off date. However, almost all of the August, July and June birthday boys were redshirted and almost half of the May with a sprinkling of April kids also redshirted. This is at an affluent public school.

There were boys who were in the 99th percentile rank for height. My son is now in high school and so many of the redshirted boys are doing really, really well in sports. The 99th percentile kid is now 6'7" and is (and has always been) a really advanced student as well as good athlete. His parents have no regrets and it is going to be easier for him to hopefully be recruited in his sport.

[Anonymous]

I hate this red-shirting trend. If your child is age eligible to start send them. We now have Kindergarten classes with huge age swings just because Sally’s or Billy’s parents wanted them to be the tallest, fastest, smartest, the list goes on. Absent extreme situations it’s bullshit in my mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate this red-shirting trend. If your child is age eligible to start send them. We now have Kindergarten classes with huge age swings just because Sally’s or Billy’s parents wanted them to be the tallest, fastest, smartest, the list goes on. Absent extreme situations it’s bullshit in my mind.

It’s not a trend. My brother was redshirted in the 1980s.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to say I’m team spouse. I see a lot of parents have angst about sending their newly 5 year olds to kindergarten, but most of them are ready. Being immature at 4 is normal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[quote=Anonymous]Can you send him to a small private kindergarten, which will probably cost about the same as preschool, and see how he does. Not great - repeat kindergarten when entering public school. Great - enter public school in first grade.

(Public school kindergarten sucks, by the way. I sent two kids through it, and it was like pre-k in terms of barely academic, but much higher expectations for sitting still. My boy did ok but hated it and emotionally wrung out every day from so much sitting; my girl liked it. But I was never impressed with the curriculum and overcrowding. First grade much, much better.)

I came here today this. It buys you time to make a more informed decision.

Agree with the above PPs. Kindergarten isn’t the issue, it is middle school. Which is hard to predict how they will grow and mature as a teen compared to peers when they are 4-5. Few people regret redshirting, plus skipping a grade later on is always a possibility if it is true issue.

My own son has a Sept birthday. Our cut off is Sept 1, but his preschool teacher was adamant we get a waiver and have him should start K at 4, a few weeks before turning 5. He did fine and is always a 99th percentile kid academically. But when we moved out of district and started private, I had him do another year of 6th. He is a later bloomer and was very much child-like at 12. Academically he still would have been top of class for 7th as well- whether he was in 6th or 7th he would have still been ahead academically and need to be challenged at home. So we put him in the class we thought he would fit in best socially. Now going into high school, he has all the advanced classes available to take and is thriving socially and emotionally. Deciding to red shirt or not is more about the long game than the now

[Anonymous]

I have the perspective of middle school aged kids. I used to be very anti-redshirting. I have changed my mind over the years depending on the situation.

-For a July girl, it could go either way- I'm generally anti redshirting, but I do think my daughter might have benefitted now that she seems so much younger than her peers in middle school (but each kid is different).

-For a July boy, like yours- In Montgomery county there are very few July boys that are not held back. Every August boy I know has been redshirted, along with most June and July. So your son will not just be at the young end if you send him on time, he will be more than a year younger than some kids in his class. Of course this isn't fair or how it should be, but because it is what most are doing, your son will suffer for it when he is older. His friends will be more mature in middle and school, and driving sooner in high school. When they all go through puberty earlier the age gaps become clearer. It's not just about academic readiness- the issues are different older.

-Best course of action in your case is to do a private small Kindergarten (many preschools offer this), so he gets a more advanced curriculum in a small setting, and then wait to decide whether he repeats K elsewhere the next year (probably the better choice) or moves right to first.

-It is hard/unlikely to hold back as he gets older, but unfortunately it is middle school when you may realize he should have been held back.

[Anonymous]

FAIW, we are in private in DC and our September girl is repeating K (did prek3, 4 and K in DCPS). I thought she would be the oldest but there are 5 summer boys in her class older than her. If you’re thinking private, it seems like most of them recommend redshirting. We feel like we did try K with her as the youngest since we did that with DCPS and academically she was fine but socially we could already see that she wasn’t ready for 1st. It was the right decision for is right now.

[Anonymous]

Don’t do it. It’s a bunch of bullshit.

[Anonymous]

They should not allow redshirting for July or earlier birthdays. The option should only be for August or September birthdays.

[Anonymous]

I’m only a year into “redshirting” but I feel very relieved we did. My son is in a junior pre-k with all fall birthdays and just this weekend I was talking to another mother in the class who feels the same way I do- that our kids are finally in the right place.

If your sons on the edge of the cutoff and struggling, I would make the change and redshirt. You have very little to lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They should not allow redshirting for July or earlier birthdays. The option should only be for August or September birthdays.

You don't need to redshirt September for 9/1 cut offs. So by your rules July would be ok. But it doesn't really matter because "they" will make the rules they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have the perspective of middle school aged kids. I used to be very anti-redshirting. I have changed my mind over the years depending on the situation.

-For a July girl, it could go either way- I'm generally anti redshirting, but I do think my daughter might have benefitted now that she seems so much younger than her peers in middle school (but each kid is different).

-For a July boy, like yours- In Montgomery county there are very few July boys that are not held back. Every August boy I know has been redshirted, along with most June and July. So your son will not just be at the young end if you send him on time, he will be more than a year younger than some kids in his class. Of course this isn't fair or how it should be, but because it is what most are doing, your son will suffer for it when he is older. His friends will be more mature in middle and school, and driving sooner in high school. When they all go through puberty earlier the age gaps become clearer. It's not just about academic readiness- the issues are different older.

-Best course of action in your case is to do a private small Kindergarten (many preschools offer this), so he gets a more advanced curriculum in a small setting, and then wait to decide whether he repeats K elsewhere the next year (probably the better choice) or moves right to first.

-It is hard/unlikely to hold back as he gets older, but unfortunately it is middle school when you may realize he should have been held back.

Not sure where you live but I don't know any kids in MoCo publics that were held back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m only a year into “redshirting” but I feel very relieved we did. My son is in a junior pre-k with all fall birthdays and just this weekend I was talking to another mother in the class who feels the same way I do- that our kids are finally in the right place.

If your sons on the edge of the cutoff and struggling, I would make the change and redshirt. You have very little to lose.

You lose a year of their adult life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m only a year into “redshirting” but I feel very relieved we did. My son is in a junior pre-k with all fall birthdays and just this weekend I was talking to another mother in the class who feels the same way I do- that our kids are finally in the right place.

If your sons on the edge of the cutoff and struggling, I would make the change and redshirt. You have very little to lose.

You lose a year of their adult life.

They lose, a year of their adult life. You have a 19 year old in HS for the entire year that can basically do what they want as an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m only a year into “redshirting” but I feel very relieved we did. My son is in a junior pre-k with all fall birthdays and just this weekend I was talking to another mother in the class who feels the same way I do- that our kids are finally in the right place.

If your sons on the edge of the cutoff and struggling, I would make the change and redshirt. You have very little to lose.

You lose a year of their adult life.

You do know that the human lifespan isn’t actually affected by redshirting, right?