Not sexually fulfilled in otherwise great marriage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the marriage sabbatical and open things up for a limited period of time. You’ll get through this. He will probably even appreciate the pressure release; no doubt he’s got his own anxiety about his lack of drive.

Let’s face it - years of nesting with kids really does kill the sex drive. It blows.

"Marriage sabbatical" is the lie you tell yourselves where you aren't ready to admit you need a divorce.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like there’s some shame going on. Is there anything on his youth/childhood that might explain this?

[Anonymous]

I’d figure out a way to get past this if I were you.

The idea that you might meet someone who checks all the boxes and is also indefinitely igniting passion is absurd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d figure out a way to get past this if I were you.

The idea that you might meet someone who checks all the boxes and is also indefinitely igniting passion is absurd.

100% tell me you married in your 20s without telling me. The dating scene is full of really low quality people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d figure out a way to get past this if I were you.

The idea that you might meet someone who checks all the boxes and is also indefinitely igniting passion is absurd.

100% tell me you married in your 20s without telling me. The dating scene is full of really low quality people

Is that to PP or OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d figure out a way to get past this if I were you.

The idea that you might meet someone who checks all the boxes and is also indefinitely igniting passion is absurd.

Or you can have a string of fun and fulfilling relationships that last several months or more.

Lots of us do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d figure out a way to get past this if I were you.

The idea that you might meet someone who checks all the boxes and is also indefinitely igniting passion is absurd.

Or you can have a string of fun and fulfilling relationships that last several months or more.

Lots of us do.

NP and if I had to go back in time and live my life over I think this is what I would do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d figure out a way to get past this if I were you.

The idea that you might meet someone who checks all the boxes and is also indefinitely igniting passion is absurd.

Op here. Logically, I know you are right. I really do. Except it’s simply not that easy. Like I said, I fully acknowledge that nobody is perfect. I just wish it was something else that was the problem and not this. Because this is hard to get past when you are talking about the rest of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like there’s some shame going on. Is there anything on his youth/childhood that might explain this?

Op here. Honestly I really don’t think so. He has done all these things before. I think he is really just stuck in his ways at this point. And now that others mentioned it, maybe he is afraid of not being able to perform in other positions. I really don’t know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like there’s some shame going on. Is there anything on his youth/childhood that might explain this?

Op here. Honestly I really don’t think so. He has done all these things before. I think he is really just stuck in his ways at this point. And now that others mentioned it, maybe he is afraid of not being able to perform in other positions. I really don’t know.

My husband has physical limitations. He's not as flexible of a person to begin with and as he's aged its gotten worse. Some positions just aren't possible any more.

What I don't understand is why you aren't sexually fulfilled. Are you not achieving O? If so, that could be a issue with you and has nothing to do with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d figure out a way to get past this if I were you.

The idea that you might meet someone who checks all the boxes and is also indefinitely igniting passion is absurd.

Op here. Logically, I know you are right. I really do. Except it’s simply not that easy. Like I said, I fully acknowledge that nobody is perfect. I just wish it was something else that was the problem and not this. Because this is hard to get past when you are talking about the rest of your life.

If you divorce you will be very disappointed. The quality of men out there is very very low. Sex will be the least of your worries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d figure out a way to get past this if I were you.

The idea that you might meet someone who checks all the boxes and is also indefinitely igniting passion is absurd.

Op here. Logically, I know you are right. I really do. Except it’s simply not that easy. Like I said, I fully acknowledge that nobody is perfect. I just wish it was something else that was the problem and not this. Because this is hard to get past when you are talking about the rest of your life.

If you divorce you will be very disappointed. The quality of men out there is very very low. Sex will be the least of your worries.

Not sure why you’re saying that as an absolute fact. It’s obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

maybe he is afraid of not being able to perform in other positions. I really don’t know.

Can you find out? Maybe he can last a couple minutes in cowgirl. Would you like that? Might be hard to convince him that you wouldn’t find his going soft inside you a total turnoff.

[Anonymous]

The unfortunate reality is yes, you likely can’t have what you’re looking for the rest of your life.

Even if you do find the perfect match sexually, he may have other terrible faults, not want to marry you etc.

The chances are slim you’d get divorced, remarry and have a hot sex life for decades. At most you’d have decent sex that’s only good because it’s with someone new, and then it would fizzle after a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d figure out a way to get past this if I were you.

The idea that you might meet someone who checks all the boxes and is also indefinitely igniting passion is absurd.

Op here. Logically, I know you are right. I really do. Except it’s simply not that easy. Like I said, I fully acknowledge that nobody is perfect. I just wish it was something else that was the problem and not this. Because this is hard to get past when you are talking about the rest of your life.

If you divorce you will be very disappointed. The quality of men out there is very very low. Sex will be the least of your worries.

Not sure why you’re saying that as an absolute fact. It’s obnoxious.

It’s probably 99% certain. Even if you do find someone who isn’t a loser, he’ll likely have kids and baggage. You can’t date and find someone in your 40s and expect them not to have baggage.