Other parents surprised my kid is smart?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a time, in the not-too-distant past, where boys also excelled at school. Now it's all girls, in the academic and social leadership positions.

This isn't good for either girls or boys.

Are the girls getting answers to all the tests???

[Anonymous]

People can be judgmental dicks about single moms and extra judgmental about single moms with biracial kids. I fully do believe that there are people out there who think they did the “right” things by marrying, and staying married to, some waspy guy and this breeds a sense of entitlement. Maybe you are making up all of this in your head, OP, but I wouldn’t put it past some people to side eye your kid for doing better than theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a time, in the not-too-distant past, where boys also excelled at school. Now it's all girls, in the academic and social leadership positions.

This isn't good for either girls or boys.

Are the girls getting answers to all the tests???

No - school is just geared towards kid who sit down and shut up.

https://archive.nytimes.com/opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/02/02/the-boys-at-the-back/

Boys score as well as or better than girls on most standardized tests, yet they are far less likely to get good grades, take advanced classes or attend college. Why? A study coming out this week in The Journal of Human Resources gives an important answer. Teachers of classes as early as kindergarten factor good behavior into grades — and girls, as a rule, comport themselves far better than boys.

I know this, because I taught in an inner city public school and we had one all boys class in the early grade to try to let them to more things to get their energy out like standing morning huddle instead of morning sitting circle time, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My thought is probably that you and your daughter are humble and graceful, so people just didn't know. In a world where parents of smart kids tend to humble brag endlessly and annoyingly, I'd say you are refreshing!

OP’s post was one long humble brag lol

Lol op here. Fair point. Reading my post I can totally get that. But this is anonymous and I'm really looking for insight, and I would never say those things in real life.

There’s no ranking, nothing in writing but you “know” that your child is the top student and everyone else knows too. Wtf?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how you can claim your elementary or middle school kid is #1. There don’t rank or separate them. There’s the “top” students, and then everyone else

They say the top 2 of every subject at the awards ceremony, and there are other telling awards. The way it is shaking out for her grade, you can tell #1, have a reasonable guess about #2 and maaaybe #3. After that there's no telling. I agree they do not rank, as I mentioned in my OP.

What school has an award ceremony where they name the top 2 students in every subject? Talk about lazy and uninspiring. And what is it based on, test scores? Class attendance? I call baloney on this story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how you can claim your elementary or middle school kid is #1. There don’t rank or separate them. There’s the “top” students, and then everyone else

They say the top 2 of every subject at the awards ceremony, and there are other telling awards. The way it is shaking out for her grade, you can tell #1, have a reasonable guess about #2 and maaaybe #3. After that there's no telling. I agree they do not rank, as I mentioned in my OP.

What school has an award ceremony where they name the top 2 students in every subject? Talk about lazy and uninspiring. And what is it based on, test scores? Class attendance? I call baloney on this story.

Unless OP isn’t in the US…

Otherwise, this is absolutely fabricated

[Anonymous]

Its awesome to be a stealth over-achiever!! Congratulations. If your brilliance is too evident, all you get is envy and anger from others. Truly, it is a lonely place to be.

[Anonymous]

What are expecting, OP? I don’t get what you want from other parents. Praise for having an awesome kid? Are you very competitive by nature? Or have you been feeling ignored and want some recognition? We all go through periods of doubt or insecurity.

Personally, I don’t know or care who does or doesn’t know about or acknowledge my — also mixed race, fwiw — kid’s accomplishments. He knows what he can do and has done, as do we and his instructors. That’s enough.

[Anonymous]

You are picking up, but I was told by another parent that he was surprised my child got a math award.
My other kid won whatever competition it is at school where the kids standing up on stage and spelling something. I wasn't surprised, but I can see how other parents may have been. They are all lawyers, doctors, diplomats, professors, scientists. I'm a immigrant and wait on table for living. I wait of some of them when they come to the restaurant.
The kid's talent really is in math, and parents keep asking if we do RSM or Kumon.
OP,give them some time to get used to it and they usually just come and ask for advice.
Ofcourse there's a lot more to the story than "I'm just a waiter". My kids ruined my cover. Older one told me to stop telling my sad Russian stories as I'm not even Russian, and stop telling people "I'm just a waiter".
My kids have been judged based on what I do/say. School receptionist suggested I'd send my older one to ESL glass after hearing me talk. Luckily his teacher intervened.

[Anonymous]

She will do great! Congrats, mom!

[Anonymous]

I have a stealth smart kid and an in-your-face smart kid. The difference is that the stealth smart kid has emotional intelligence and social skills. Ultimately, I think she will have the easier time, even if (or because?) people constantly underestimate her.

[Anonymous]

Do you not appear or come across as intelligent, OP?

While not the same, I remember the most beautiful and popular girl in my HS had the ugliest parents- extremely unattractive. I remember thinking how odd it was

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My thought is probably that you and your daughter are humble and graceful, so people just didn't know. In a world where parents of smart kids tend to humble brag endlessly and annoyingly, I'd say you are refreshing!

OP’s post was one long humble brag lol

Strange, I didn't take it that way.

[Anonymous]

I'm still waiting to hear what makes you think that others are so surprised your DC is smart. Do they actually say something? Otherwise, it kind of seems like you are making this up in your head.

[Anonymous]

Since this is anonymous I will say I think I understand what you are experiencing. My DD has hyperactive impulsive ADHD and is in constant motion. She is also a literal genius. Every once in a while someone sort of pieces it together and they are surprised but then they move on. Most of the time it’s NBD.

However there are a few moms who have made it their life’s journey to enrich their kids and they do tons of extras like tutoring etc. there’s one mom in particular who I think is annoyed my child is at least as academically strong as hers (I suspect mine is ahead but we do have those crazy awards which are pretty awkward so I don’t really know) with out any of the extra stuff, that I’m a working mom and not particularly invested in academics right now. People don’t know that we have to work hard on other things for her and I’m very focused on helping her become a well rounded person. But honestly that’s like maybe two people and I think it has to do with their own insecurities rather than anything about me or my kids.