Other parents surprised my kid is smart?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP back just to say that at elementary school graduation, they do give an award to the top academic student, at each of the 5 elementary schools in the town. It's called the [Town name] Teacher's Association award. When I was a kid, we had this at my school and it was called the Kiwanis club award.

Just for your awareness, and I'm very sorry if this triggers you.

Parents complained so much about this kind of thing in the next town over, that they eliminated all awards , academics and others, at graduation. So I understand that you might not be familiar with this. It doesn't excuse your derision, but it is what it is.

Top 5 kids…based on what? Elementary kids aren’t even graded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back just to say that at elementary school graduation, they do give an award to the top academic student, at each of the 5 elementary schools in the town. It's called the [Town name] Teacher's Association award. When I was a kid, we had this at my school and it was called the Kiwanis club award.

Just for your awareness, and I'm very sorry if this triggers you.

Parents complained so much about this kind of thing in the next town over, that they eliminated all awards , academics and others, at graduation. So I understand that you might not be familiar with this. It doesn't excuse your derision, but it is what it is.

Top 5 kids…based on what? Elementary kids aren’t even graded.

Ok, cool. They are graded where we live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back just to say that at elementary school graduation, they do give an award to the top academic student, at each of the 5 elementary schools in the town. It's called the [Town name] Teacher's Association award. When I was a kid, we had this at my school and it was called the Kiwanis club award.

Just for your awareness, and I'm very sorry if this triggers you.

Parents complained so much about this kind of thing in the next town over, that they eliminated all awards , academics and others, at graduation. So I understand that you might not be familiar with this. It doesn't excuse your derision, but it is what it is.

Top 5 kids…based on what? Elementary kids aren’t even graded.

OP explained. "you can discern that DD is the top student" even though everyone is so surprised by it. Because she's pretty and tall and confident and her single mama did it all on her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back just to say that at elementary school graduation, they do give an award to the top academic student, at each of the 5 elementary schools in the town. It's called the [Town name] Teacher's Association award. When I was a kid, we had this at my school and it was called the Kiwanis club award.

Just for your awareness, and I'm very sorry if this triggers you.

Parents complained so much about this kind of thing in the next town over, that they eliminated all awards , academics and others, at graduation. So I understand that you might not be familiar with this. It doesn't excuse your derision, but it is what it is.

Top 5 kids…based on what? Elementary kids aren’t even graded.

Ok, cool. They are graded where we live.

In the DC area?

[Anonymous]

Same here.

I have a blonde athletic kid who went to school with many Indian and Asian kids. He never was out in GT even with perfect scores.

Soon it became clear based on his courses, taking with friends (all 5s on every AP; perfect SAT never below an A at a toigh private).

We are really into sports but equally value education and it’s the first part that makes many “academic” parents make wrong assumptions.

[Anonymous]

It's you. YOU don't have any confidence and you think people think these things but they don't. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

We had this experience too. We moved to NoVa from the Deep South, with heavy accents. People seemed surprised. No worries. It isn’t important to be seen as the smartest. Just be who you are. Plus DS finds it to be a secret weapon. Like a sneak attack.

[Anonymous]

This resonates with me. My daughter is very academically oriented, but also bubbly & social. Kids in her high-level math classes definitely dismiss her. She doesn’t seem to care, you have to be a little tough to go head to head with some of these kids. They’re crazy competitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back just to say that at elementary school graduation, they do give an award to the top academic student, at each of the 5 elementary schools in the town. It's called the [Town name] Teacher's Association award. When I was a kid, we had this at my school and it was called the Kiwanis club award.

Just for your awareness, and I'm very sorry if this triggers you.

Parents complained so much about this kind of thing in the next town over, that they eliminated all awards , academics and others, at graduation. So I understand that you might not be familiar with this. It doesn't excuse your derision, but it is what it is.

op you need therapy to work on your insecurity. nobody is paying that much attention to you or your family.

I was responding directly to the posters saying there are not awards of this kind in elementary school. That's appropriate.
That has nothing to do with my insecurity. Which I do need to work on!

The harping on things that one is not familiar with and completely ignoring the actual concern posed and vilifying a stranger for admitting something positive about their child... it's just the worst of the internet. Luckily, the sweet and kind hearted also showed up in force and I thank them.

Care to respond directly to the Q: what do these other parents actually do/say that makes you think they are surprised?

[Anonymous]

Other people aren't thinking about you or your kid that much. People are generally wrapped up in themselves.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your daughter doesn’t appear smart during everyday interactions. Maybe she asks lots of dumb questions during class that others already know the answers to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a time, in the not-too-distant past, where boys also excelled at school. Now it's all girls, in the academic and social leadership positions.

This isn't good for either girls or boys.

And yet the world still favors boys/men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Other people aren't thinking about you or your kid that much. People are generally wrapped up in themselves.

You would be surprised. I think if you are surrounded by normal people you don’t realize how insecure and competitive some other people can get.

After elementary, it’s the kids who then start competing against each other. By that point, the parents are cut off and not as privy to classmates.

[Anonymous]

It’s because your kid is mixed race (unless it’s white and Asian). They don’t expect it.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how you can claim your elementary or middle school kid is #1. There don’t rank or separate them. There’s the “top” students, and then everyone else

They say the top 2 of every subject at the awards ceremony, and there are other telling awards. The way it is shaking out for her grade, you can tell #1, have a reasonable guess about #2 and maaaybe #3. After that there's no telling. I agree they do not rank, as I mentioned in my OP.

This is bizarre. I don’t even understand how someone can be #1. They either have a A or not. Top standardized test score? What is the metric here?

No. All of their grades are out of 100.

And no other kids have a 100 or a 99 or whatever? Sorry, I’m just not buying that there is a #1 elementary school kid or middle school kid for that matter. You even said they don’t rank, so assume your kid is someone #1 is odd

Okay, I'm totally wrong in my assumption that she is the top student. She's just the student who is the most academically celebrated based on GPA by a wide margin. Feel better?

What school district does this “celebrating” I’d love to know

OP, you do not owe this poster a response, and certainly do not owe them any information.

Sounds made up