ILs comments on drinking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry but they don’t sound like raging alcoholics to me. They just sound like fun people who like the party. And why shouldn’t they? They’re older, they paid their dues, they’re either close to or past retirement, and they’re not bogged down by little kids. So why not live a little?

My kids and grandkids were just here at our second home for a long weekend. The grandkids are now old enough that we can ask them to get us a drink from the basement fridge. Very helpful.

You’re all such fuddy duddies.

I’m a nurse practitioner, and four alcoholic drinks a day, over numerous years, will absolutely ravage your liver, your blood sugar levels, will lead to inflammation, and a whole host of health problems. A body that has been treated that way for years is not “ a party.”

You mean “can” and not “will.”

No, over a sustained period of time, four drinks a day, I do mean will.

Well, I don’t care if you have Nobel Prize caliber credentials. The answer is “can,” not “will.”

Why are you soooooo defensive? Struck a nerve with you, clearly.

[Anonymous]

“So many alcoholics on this thread. Yowza. I for one am glad that the trends for alcohol consumption are decreasing with younger generations.”

How is all of the pot use better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say "mmm a lemonade sounds perfect to me right now" and do that. The kids also agree that lemonade is preferable. It gets everyone comfortable with a fact of life that some people are drinking but you can have something else. Kids get that.

Lemonade is a suger bomb and horrible for health and teeth. Better to have a beer 🍺

Here’s what: some of us know how to enjoy all things in life in *moderation.* That includes lemonade, beer, cupcakes and potato chips. If you “need” a 5 p.m. cocktail or alcohol with lunch, whatever, dude. I’m going to have my occasional lemonade and enjoy it.

You sound fat.

You sound like a drunk.

DP, runner and cyclist, normal BMI, so don’t bother being predictable

I see. You are just skinny fat with no muscle tone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“So many alcoholics on this thread. Yowza. I for one am glad that the trends for alcohol consumption are decreasing with younger generations.”

How is all of the pot use better?

No calories and doesn’t damage your liver, for one. Doesn’t spike your blood sugar. Doesn’t contribute to diabetes. Shall I go on?

[Anonymous]

How many threads about alcohol do we need?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many threads about alcohol do we need?

As long as there are problems with alcoholics, I suppose there will be threads about alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dunno, I might think about talking to the kids, especially as they reach their teen years. Or saying something back with your kids ears in mind.

"It's so sad that Grandma always wants more people to be drinking with her. I think she knows she's hurting her health, and she feels self conscious about it. It's okay though, we can just say no and enjoy our time together."

That's the kind of lesson I'd want my kid to have fresh for high school. You're a walking example of not caving to peer pressure.

This! I’ve spoken to my kids about how alcohol is a “progressive” substance and they get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many threads about alcohol do we need?

I like alcohol threads. Keep them coming. 🍷

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“So many alcoholics on this thread. Yowza. I for one am glad that the trends for alcohol consumption are decreasing with younger generations.”

How is all of the pot use better?

No calories and doesn’t damage your liver, for one. Doesn’t spike your blood sugar. Doesn’t contribute to diabetes. Shall I go on?

But it fries your brain and can bring on mental illness. Pick your poison I guess.

[Anonymous]

“Oh we’re not alcoholics but thanks for the offer”. Keep repeating it with a smile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs drink every day, usually a beer or two with lunch, at least one gin- or whiskey-based cocktail at 5, and usually also wine with dinner.

DH and I sometimes have either a cocktail or a glass of wine, but usually not. We just don’t happen to drink much.

They comment. Peer-pressure-y questions about why not, and dumb remarks like “We didn’t raise you right” or “You’re missing out.” We just brush it off, but now that my kids are older, I don’t like this dynamic. Suggestions on how to shut it down once and for all?

Wow! I come from a family with enough alcoholics to sink a ship, but there was never this sort of high-pressure conversation (beyond "are you sure you don't want a drink?).

Many parents with boundary issues give this sort of pressure for all kinds of different things, I guess for your parents it is alcohol. (and all that drinking is probably not helping them rein in this behavior)
Maintaining your boundary (finding a stock answer to give them every time) is the only way to deal with it, just like others dealing with parental pressure on other topics. Sorry they are acting like high schoolers trying to be the cool kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree drunks always want you to drink with them. It's the worst.

You're probably not going to shut it down and I would openly discuss it with your children and why it's problematic. They are noticing.

Not all drunks. Some alcoholics, like my parents, just drink excessively without seeming to notice or care what others do. They never even offer me or anyone else a drink when they’re making themselves a cocktail or “grabbing a beer” or pouring a huge glass of wine. They’re too self involved or maybe they just want to try to keep their drinking under my radar (which obviously isn’t possible with the amounts they drink).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are not going to find the right words to get functional alcoholics to stop acting like functional alcoholics. Instead, explain to your kids what is happening. Explain about addition and peer pressure and how, even though you love them, the grandparents are making bad choices by trying to pressure other people to drink, and they are doing it because their bodies and brains are addicted to it. It's up to you whether you do this in front of the grandparents or not.

From a young age and their cousins knew that their grandfather didn't "count" as a grown up watching them in their pool because he "drank too much and got too sleepy to pay attention". It bothered him that we said that, but it bothered us that he would continually invite the kids to jump in before any other adults were around and he was half sloshed.

This. Tell them your IL are addicted to alcohol. Most Americans don't "need" to drink at lunch. Most Americans don't "need" to drink every evening.

It’s not just Americans…it’s people. No people need to drink that much. No people should drink that much. It’s incredibly unhealthy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“So many alcoholics on this thread. Yowza. I for one am glad that the trends for alcohol consumption are decreasing with younger generations.”

How is all of the pot use better?

Alcohol is MUCH worse for you than pot.

[Anonymous]

Model for your kids how to handle peer pressure! It’s not about you. Drinkers want company. So don’t take it personally.