ILs comments on drinking

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs drink every day, usually a beer or two with lunch, at least one gin- or whiskey-based cocktail at 5, and usually also wine with dinner.

DH and I sometimes have either a cocktail or a glass of wine, but usually not. We just don’t happen to drink much.

They comment. Peer-pressure-y questions about why not, and dumb remarks like “We didn’t raise you right” or “You’re missing out.” We just brush it off, but now that my kids are older, I don’t like this dynamic. Suggestions on how to shut it down once and for all?

Adopt a thick skin, ignore their comments, "I prefer water right now."

This. Don’t be such a rigid kill-joy.

Yeah, drink a minimum of four alcoholic beverages a day. That’s a healthy, fun approach to life! Jaundice is so in this season.

Oh please!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs drink every day, usually a beer or two with lunch, at least one gin- or whiskey-based cocktail at 5, and usually also wine with dinner.

DH and I sometimes have either a cocktail or a glass of wine, but usually not. We just don’t happen to drink much.

They comment. Peer-pressure-y questions about why not, and dumb remarks like “We didn’t raise you right” or “You’re missing out.” We just brush it off, but now that my kids are older, I don’t like this dynamic. Suggestions on how to shut it down once and for all?

Adopt a thick skin, ignore their comments, "I prefer water right now."

This. Don’t be such a rigid kill-joy.

Yeah, drink a minimum of four alcoholic beverages a day. That’s a healthy, fun approach to life! Jaundice is so in this season.

Exactly. Why have 4 when you can have six. Enjoy your boring life 😁👍

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs drink every day, usually a beer or two with lunch, at least one gin- or whiskey-based cocktail at 5, and usually also wine with dinner.

DH and I sometimes have either a cocktail or a glass of wine, but usually not. We just don’t happen to drink much.

They comment. Peer-pressure-y questions about why not, and dumb remarks like “We didn’t raise you right” or “You’re missing out.” We just brush it off, but now that my kids are older, I don’t like this dynamic. Suggestions on how to shut it down once and for all?

Are they lushy WASPs? Amazing how many boomers of that mold are hidden alcoholics.

I love waspy lushes. Most fun ever! Lighten up..geessh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many alcoholics on this thread. Yowza. I for one am glad that the trends for alcohol consumption are decreasing with younger generations.

That’s because the younger generation can’t afford to drink. Forget about ever buying a house, investing or paying off their loans. Sucks for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many alcoholics on this thread. Yowza. I for one am glad that the trends for alcohol consumption are decreasing with younger generations.

That’s because the younger generation can’t afford to drink. Forget about ever buying a house, investing or paying off their loans. Sucks for them.

Sucks for you when you can’t get on the liver transplant list because you haven’t been sober for 6 months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many alcoholics on this thread. Yowza. I for one am glad that the trends for alcohol consumption are decreasing with younger generations.

That’s because the younger generation can’t afford to drink. Forget about ever buying a house, investing or paying off their loans. Sucks for them.

Not convinced it’s solely about cost when marijuana use in that same age group has doubled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many alcoholics on this thread. Yowza. I for one am glad that the trends for alcohol consumption are decreasing with younger generations.

That’s because the younger generation can’t afford to drink. Forget about ever buying a house, investing or paying off their loans. Sucks for them.

Sucks for you when you can’t get on the liver transplant list because you haven’t been sober for 6 months.

I don’t drink but try again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many alcoholics on this thread. Yowza. I for one am glad that the trends for alcohol consumption are decreasing with younger generations.

That’s because the younger generation can’t afford to drink. Forget about ever buying a house, investing or paying off their loans. Sucks for them.

Not convinced it’s solely about cost when marijuana use in that same age group has doubled.

True. Too stoned to be successful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs drink every day, usually a beer or two with lunch, at least one gin- or whiskey-based cocktail at 5, and usually also wine with dinner.

DH and I sometimes have either a cocktail or a glass of wine, but usually not. We just don’t happen to drink much.

They comment. Peer-pressure-y questions about why not, and dumb remarks like “We didn’t raise you right” or “You’re missing out.” We just brush it off, but now that my kids are older, I don’t like this dynamic. Suggestions on how to shut it down once and for all?

If you want to be blunt and truthful you could say, well, we aren't interested in becoming problem drinkers like you. They have a drinking problem. People that have a drinking problem like to make their own excessive drinking seem normal in light of people who are light to moderate/normal drinkers. I say this as a person who had a massive drinking problem/alcohol addiction for a long time.

If you want to be less blunt, but still pointed, you could say, "Gee, FIL, why are you so invested in me drinking more than I am comfortable with?' And then don't fill the awkward silence.

[Anonymous]

Talk to your kids about it. Ask them if they’ve noticed. Ask them what they think about it. Let them know what concerns you about it. Model other ways to enjoy yourself. Model saying no to peer pressure. Let them know they are at an increased risk of substance use disorder because there is a familial predisposition.

This isn’t a situation where you need to get your ILs to change their behavior to protect your kids. This is an excellent opportunity to begin teaching your kids about alcohol - sure it can be fun, but it can also be insidious. Be open and honest with them instead of hiding the truth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My ILs drink every day, usually a beer or two with lunch, at least one gin- or whiskey-based cocktail at 5, and usually also wine with dinner.

DH and I sometimes have either a cocktail or a glass of wine, but usually not. We just don’t happen to drink much.

They comment. Peer-pressure-y questions about why not, and dumb remarks like “We didn’t raise you right” or “You’re missing out.” We just brush it off, but now that my kids are older, I don’t like this dynamic. Suggestions on how to shut it down once and for all?

I have one: lighten up. Join them. They’re right.

No.

not OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just smile. Not worth “shutting it down” if it’s just an annoying remark.

I’m not going to teach my kids to “just smile” in the face of peer pressure, but you do you.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say "mmm a lemonade sounds perfect to me right now" and do that. The kids also agree that lemonade is preferable. It gets everyone comfortable with a fact of life that some people are drinking but you can have something else. Kids get that.

lemonade has its issues as well

No, lemonade has “calories.” Those of us who are a healthy weight and don’t have to obsess over every little calorie enjoy lemonade sometimes. I’m sorry you have no wiggle room, but plenty of wiggle.

And tons of suger…white poison.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just say "mmm a lemonade sounds perfect to me right now" and do that. The kids also agree that lemonade is preferable. It gets everyone comfortable with a fact of life that some people are drinking but you can have something else. Kids get that.

Lemonade is a suger bomb and horrible for health and teeth. Better to have a beer 🍺

Here’s what: some of us know how to enjoy all things in life in *moderation.* That includes lemonade, beer, cupcakes and potato chips. If you “need” a 5 p.m. cocktail or alcohol with lunch, whatever, dude. I’m going to have my occasional lemonade and enjoy it.

You sound fat.

You sound like a drunk.

DP, runner and cyclist, normal BMI, so don’t bother being predictable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sorry but they don’t sound like raging alcoholics to me. They just sound like fun people who like the party. And why shouldn’t they? They’re older, they paid their dues, they’re either close to or past retirement, and they’re not bogged down by little kids. So why not live a little?

My kids and grandkids were just here at our second home for a long weekend. The grandkids are now old enough that we can ask them to get us a drink from the basement fridge. Very helpful.

You’re all such fuddy duddies.

Oh, you’re a functional alcoholic too. Got it.