Does anyone else find ‘cherish these moments’ parenting advice a little traumatizing?

[Anonymous]

Moms of older kids vs moms of younger kids is the new wohm vs sahm battle. Shat will dcum think of next?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you all just need to sleep train your babies! Once my babies were 5-6 months old, the sleep deprivation was over.

And yes, I'd give anything to go back and visit and cuddle my babies, toddlers, and preschoolers again. They are pretty good as far as teens go, but there is just no comparison.

What great advice for someone with a two-month-old, when sleep training is not an option. No one wants your advice. If they did, they would ask for it. Why do you have to “cherish” your memories by speaking them out loud to new parents who are total strangers? You are free to cherish your own memories in your own head.

Time to buckle up buttercup because, like it or not, you can't actually control what strangers think or say. When your baby is 14, you will understand what we mean, and that we are not attacking you. In the meantime, maybe check your anger a bit, its probably not good for you or your baby.

[Anonymous]

My mom used to drive me crazy about their clothes. "You'd better hurry up and have them wear it or they'll outgrow it!" It just was really stressful to me to constantly hear about their clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you all just need to sleep train your babies! Once my babies were 5-6 months old, the sleep deprivation was over.

And yes, I'd give anything to go back and visit and cuddle my babies, toddlers, and preschoolers again. They are pretty good as far as teens go, but there is just no comparison.

What great advice for someone with a two-month-old, when sleep training is not an option. No one wants your advice. If they did, they would ask for it. Why do you have to “cherish” your memories by speaking them out loud to new parents who are total strangers? You are free to cherish your own memories in your own head.

Time to buckle up buttercup because, like it or not, you can't actually control what strangers think or say. When your baby is 14, you will understand what we mean, and that we are not attacking you. In the meantime, maybe check your anger a bit, its probably not good for you or your baby.

Right? The outrage is so one-sided. I feel like saying, let's revisit this topic in a few years when you are in a better place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some of you all just need to sleep train your babies! Once my babies were 5-6 months old, the sleep deprivation was over.

And yes, I'd give anything to go back and visit and cuddle my babies, toddlers, and preschoolers again. They are pretty good as far as teens go, but there is just no comparison.

What great advice for someone with a two-month-old, when sleep training is not an option. No one wants your advice. If they did, they would ask for it. Why do you have to “cherish” your memories by speaking them out loud to new parents who are total strangers? You are free to cherish your own memories in your own head.

Time to buckle up buttercup because, like it or not, you can't actually control what strangers think or say. When your baby is 14, you will understand what we mean, and that we are not attacking you. In the meantime, maybe check your anger a bit, its probably not good for you or your baby.

Right? The outrage is so one-sided. I feel like saying, let's revisit this topic in a few years when you are in a better place.

Or how about you just don’t revisit it?? It seems like moms of older kids really, really want to announce things at moms of younger kids (“time flies!” “Just wait till he is walking/ in school/ driving/ dating then you’ll REALLY have your hands full!” “Don’t blink, these days will be gone and you’ll miss them!” “Little kids little problems… you just wait!”) and moms of younger kids really, really dislike hearing these things.

So why not just stop doing it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is like you are hiking on a trail. The people who are coming back might say, "that next part is a bear." Or, "didn't the part you just finished have spectacular views?" They are not being smug or competitive or mean. They are sharing the journey you are both on.

If you were not so exhausted and overwhelmed, you could probably take it as it is meant. I just don't think you realize that your strong negative reaction emanates from your quality of life right now, not the friendly women who is looking fondly at your beautiful child.

Totally agree. There is their weird generation that never wants to interact with anyone, won’t answer their front door, and only sees the world through their own eyes. It is a strange and sad lot.

[Anonymous]

Just an FYI teens years aren’t guaranteed trauma. My teens are delightful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is like you are hiking on a trail. The people who are coming back might say, "that next part is a bear." Or, "didn't the part you just finished have spectacular views?" They are not being smug or competitive or mean. They are sharing the journey you are both on.

If you were not so exhausted and overwhelmed, you could probably take it as it is meant. I just don't think you realize that your strong negative reaction emanates from your quality of life right now, not the friendly women who is looking fondly at your beautiful child.

Totally agree. There is their weird generation that never wants to interact with anyone, won’t answer their front door, and only sees the world through their own eyes. It is a strange and sad lot.

Also agree. That's precisely the sentiment - your child is beautiful, and seeing you out reminds an older woman of happy times when her kids were young. That's all it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is like you are hiking on a trail. The people who are coming back might say, "that next part is a bear." Or, "didn't the part you just finished have spectacular views?" They are not being smug or competitive or mean. They are sharing the journey you are both on.

If you were not so exhausted and overwhelmed, you could probably take it as it is meant. I just don't think you realize that your strong negative reaction emanates from your quality of life right now, not the friendly women who is looking fondly at your beautiful child.

Totally agree. There is their weird generation that never wants to interact with anyone, won’t answer their front door, and only sees the world through their own eyes. It is a strange and sad lot.

Also agree. That's precisely the sentiment - your child is beautiful, and seeing you out reminds an older woman of happy times when her kids were young. That's all it is.

So why not say “your child is beautiful. It makes me think back to when my kids were young.” To a woman who is not actively dealing with a tantrum or something. That’s a nice comment! “Cherish these moments because they don’t last!” is passive aggressive and annoying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is like you are hiking on a trail. The people who are coming back might say, "that next part is a bear." Or, "didn't the part you just finished have spectacular views?" They are not being smug or competitive or mean. They are sharing the journey you are both on.

If you were not so exhausted and overwhelmed, you could probably take it as it is meant. I just don't think you realize that your strong negative reaction emanates from your quality of life right now, not the friendly women who is looking fondly at your beautiful child.

If you saw a hiker half dead from exhaustion, with a sprained ankle, limping down the trail would you truly say “wasn’t that view you passed just spectacular!?!?” Because that’s the analogy here.

Or telling that same hiker “you think it’s hard now but wait till you get around the bend!” and then smile and walk off. As opposed to, like, helping them around the bend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is like you are hiking on a trail. The people who are coming back might say, "that next part is a bear." Or, "didn't the part you just finished have spectacular views?" They are not being smug or competitive or mean. They are sharing the journey you are both on.

If you were not so exhausted and overwhelmed, you could probably take it as it is meant. I just don't think you realize that your strong negative reaction emanates from your quality of life right now, not the friendly women who is looking fondly at your beautiful child.

If you saw a hiker half dead from exhaustion, with a sprained ankle, limping down the trail would you truly say “wasn’t that view you passed just spectacular!?!?” Because that’s the analogy here.

Or telling that same hiker “you think it’s hard now but wait till you get around the bend!” and then smile and walk off. As opposed to, like, helping them around the bend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same about “little kids, little problems!” with a condescending smile from women with older children. Yea, I know, I get it, your life is much more complicated and important than mine because your kids are in middle school and mine are in diapers. One day I will be as wise as you. But being chronically incredibly sleep deprived is not a “little problem” according to most medical experts.

Why are women turning on each other, instead of supporting ourselves through this touch job?

Don't hear that woman trying to "compete" with you. That is all in your head. She is saying, put on your seatbelt because she has flown in the skies that you are heading for.

And? So? I have older kids and I would never say that to a sleep-deprived parent. What rubbish. Every stage comes with blessings and curses. Do your best, enjoy what you can, know that others have been through the rough things, so you can reach out and find resources and community to help you through.

And yes, that woman and her ilk are trying to compete and one-up. They want to feel smug. Leave them to it.

I find it hard to believe that when one parent sees another struggling, they say "Enjoy these precious moments." COME ON!

They usually say that at some adorable moment. You people are being ridiculous.

Actually both my kids were being loud and difficult in Target last week and another mom truly did smile and tell me I’d miss these days. I wanted to punch her. Like why would you tell someone who is clearly struggling “cherish this because it’s all downhill from here!” Read the room, people. Don’t project your nonsense onto strangers struggling with toddlers.

She was being sweet to you at a time when you were stressed. She did nothing wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is like you are hiking on a trail. The people who are coming back might say, "that next part is a bear." Or, "didn't the part you just finished have spectacular views?" They are not being smug or competitive or mean. They are sharing the journey you are both on.

If you were not so exhausted and overwhelmed, you could probably take it as it is meant. I just don't think you realize that your strong negative reaction emanates from your quality of life right now, not the friendly women who is looking fondly at your beautiful child.

If you saw a hiker half dead from exhaustion, with a sprained ankle, limping down the trail would you truly say “wasn’t that view you passed just spectacular!?!?” Because that’s the analogy here.

Or telling that same hiker “you think it’s hard now but wait till you get around the bend!” and then smile and walk off. As opposed to, like, helping them around the bend.

This is just over the top.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel the same about “little kids, little problems!” with a condescending smile from women with older children. Yea, I know, I get it, your life is much more complicated and important than mine because your kids are in middle school and mine are in diapers. One day I will be as wise as you. But being chronically incredibly sleep deprived is not a “little problem” according to most medical experts.

Why are women turning on each other, instead of supporting ourselves through this touch job?

Don't hear that woman trying to "compete" with you. That is all in your head. She is saying, put on your seatbelt because she has flown in the skies that you are heading for.

And? So? I have older kids and I would never say that to a sleep-deprived parent. What rubbish. Every stage comes with blessings and curses. Do your best, enjoy what you can, know that others have been through the rough things, so you can reach out and find resources and community to help you through.

And yes, that woman and her ilk are trying to compete and one-up. They want to feel smug. Leave them to it.

I find it hard to believe that when one parent sees another struggling, they say "Enjoy these precious moments." COME ON!

They usually say that at some adorable moment. You people are being ridiculous.

Actually both my kids were being loud and difficult in Target last week and another mom truly did smile and tell me I’d miss these days. I wanted to punch her. Like why would you tell someone who is clearly struggling “cherish this because it’s all downhill from here!” Read the room, people. Don’t project your nonsense onto strangers struggling with toddlers.

She was being sweet to you at a time when you were stressed. She did nothing wrong.

Is it sweet if most moms of babies are telling you it grates on them? Is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is like you are hiking on a trail. The people who are coming back might say, "that next part is a bear." Or, "didn't the part you just finished have spectacular views?" They are not being smug or competitive or mean. They are sharing the journey you are both on.

If you were not so exhausted and overwhelmed, you could probably take it as it is meant. I just don't think you realize that your strong negative reaction emanates from your quality of life right now, not the friendly women who is looking fondly at your beautiful child.

If you saw a hiker half dead from exhaustion, with a sprained ankle, limping down the trail would you truly say “wasn’t that view you passed just spectacular!?!?” Because that’s the analogy here.

Or telling that same hiker “you think it’s hard now but wait till you get around the bend!” and then smile and walk off. As opposed to, like, helping them around the bend.

This is just over the top.

Right

Someone really needs to talk her off the ledge.