Does anyone else find ‘cherish these moments’ parenting advice a little traumatizing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Cleaning and cooking can wait til tomorrow
For babies grow up as we've learned to our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep"

Babies don't keep! That's all we are saying! If you really dislike the baby stage so much that you can't think of one positive thing about it you might miss, then I really don't know what to tell you! We are not trying to insult you, or say you are doing it wrong, or that it isn't hard. Things can be hard and wonderful at the same time.

We know that. And guess what? We’ve already been hearing it from literally everyone we encounter ever since we had a freaking bump. So you’re not original, you’re not coming in with vital information, you are just an annoying stranger who wants to use us as a soapbox to talk about your life and your experience. No thank you. That’s all we’re saying.

Jesus, chill lady. We are just making idle chit chat with you. No one is trying to give you "vital information" or stand on a soapbox. ITS CHIT CHAT. I know your generation doesn't really understand what that is, but I assure you its harmless. No one is trying to "annoy" you.

You really, really need to CTFD.

We don’t want your idle chit chat. Ease on down the road.

Tough crap. You’re getting it anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How are all of these stressed , overwhelmed young moms finding time to be online all day?

This. Especially the increasingly hysterical one (clearly the same one by her overly verbose word vomits) writing pages in response to every poster. Get busy, young mom! You’re too important to have all this free time to screech like an unhinged loon on message boards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:News flash you moms of younger kids. It really never gets easier. This is what my mom, who has four kids in their 30s and 40s, tells me.

News flash you older moms. The vast majority of people don't want unsolicited advice or opinions, especially from strangers. This is what my mom, who is the oldest of five children and has three children in their 30s and 40s--and who is a trained facilitator who teaches different personality groups how to work together in professional environments--taught me about manners and social interactions.

News flash: No one cares what you “don’t want.” You’re just not that important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:News flash you moms of younger kids. It really never gets easier. This is what my mom, who has four kids in their 30s and 40s, tells me.

News flash you older moms. The vast majority of people don't want unsolicited advice or opinions, especially from strangers. This is what my mom, who is the oldest of five children and has three children in their 30s and 40s--and who is a trained facilitator who teaches different personality groups how to work together in professional environments--taught me about manners and social interactions.

So your mom is an older woman who gives advice to other people. And you are citing her as a valid reference. Interesting.

You tried, it. She gives advice to me, her daughter, when I was a minor child, and now when I *ask* when I'm an adult. She also is *hired and paid* as a *professional* to give her *professional advice* to *clients.* You tried!

Again, with the laughing emojis. Are you 12? I pity you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If more people are like op it will make me want to avoid any conversations with young moms for fear of insulting them while trying to be human and connect.

So, congrats, I guess

I guess if you’re deliberately obtuse and persist in unsolicited advice and “just you waits” verses, you know, smiling at someone or greeting someone and saying they have a cute baby, then yeah. I think young moms will be better off if you do leave them be. If “little kids, little problems” is your idea of a warm conversation starter, they are better off being left alone.

Nope I have never said any of those sayings to any young mom. I think I may have said "you have your hands full" as I opened to the door for a young mom. Now I see that even that could be considered an insult so now I am not going to be looking at your baby ( or you) Not going to make any encouraging words or tell you that your baby is adorable. Nope! If you can't handle a few human "mistakes" than I am going to cross the street to get away from you.

Bye!

I guess I'll just have to be content with interacting with my husband, family, friends, neighbors, parents at daycare and elementary school, co-workers, people at my church, and people at the pool and the other activities we go to.

Whatever shall I do without your attention and compliments, random woman in the parking lot? It's almost as if I'll just have to...live my life with the many, many people in it. Byeeee!

You have made this post over and over and over (and yes, it’s easy to tell it’s you). Go play with your baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:News flash you moms of younger kids. It really never gets easier. This is what my mom, who has four kids in their 30s and 40s, tells me.

News flash you older moms. The vast majority of people don't want unsolicited advice or opinions, especially from strangers. This is what my mom, who is the oldest of five children and has three children in their 30s and 40s--and who is a trained facilitator who teaches different personality groups how to work together in professional environments--taught me about manners and social interactions.

So your mom is an older woman who gives advice to other people. And you are citing her as a valid reference. Interesting.

You tried, it. She gives advice to me, her daughter, when I was a minor child, and now when I *ask* when I'm an adult. She also is *hired and paid* as a *professional* to give her *professional advice* to *clients.* You tried!

Again, with the laughing emojis. Are you 12? I pity you.

OK?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:If more people are like op it will make me want to avoid any conversations with young moms for fear of insulting them while trying to be human and connect.

So, congrats, I guess

I guess if you’re deliberately obtuse and persist in unsolicited advice and “just you waits” verses, you know, smiling at someone or greeting someone and saying they have a cute baby, then yeah. I think young moms will be better off if you do leave them be. If “little kids, little problems” is your idea of a warm conversation starter, they are better off being left alone.

Nope I have never said any of those sayings to any young mom. I think I may have said "you have your hands full" as I opened to the door for a young mom. Now I see that even that could be considered an insult so now I am not going to be looking at your baby ( or you) Not going to make any encouraging words or tell you that your baby is adorable. Nope! If you can't handle a few human "mistakes" than I am going to cross the street to get away from you.

Bye!

I guess I'll just have to be content with interacting with my husband, family, friends, neighbors, parents at daycare and elementary school, co-workers, people at my church, and people at the pool and the other activities we go to.

Whatever shall I do without your attention and compliments, random woman in the parking lot? It's almost as if I'll just have to...live my life with the many, many people in it. Byeeee!

Why is the random woman in the parking lot so traumatizing then? If you crumble so easily then you're not as content and solid as you are trying to pretend.

I'm not sure who you think you're talking to, but I never said I was "traumatized" by anything. (That was the OP, and many, many other people have shared different perspectives on this thread.) I don't "crumble," but I will certainly tell you on DCUM that patronizing, smug, just-you-wait remarks don't fly with me, and your laughable threats to withhold your unwanted interactions ("...so now I am not going to be looking at your baby ( or you) Not going to make any encouraging words or tell you that your baby is adorable. Nope!") are just that: laughable.

You're really coming across like you've got it all together. Laughable.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:News flash you moms of younger kids. It really never gets easier. This is what my mom, who has four kids in their 30s and 40s, tells me.

News flash you older moms. The vast majority of people don't want unsolicited advice or opinions, especially from strangers. This is what my mom, who is the oldest of five children and has three children in their 30s and 40s--and who is a trained facilitator who teaches different personality groups how to work together in professional environments--taught me about manners and social interactions.

News flash: No one cares what you “don’t want.” You’re just not that important.

Apparently you care enough to comment!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't usually say anything to moms with babies, but maybe I will start on the off chance one is OP and I can set her off!

Setting people off is a goal of yours. That’s the kind of person you are. Noted.

Not people. Just you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If more people are like op it will make me want to avoid any conversations with young moms for fear of insulting them while trying to be human and connect.

So, congrats, I guess

I guess if you’re deliberately obtuse and persist in unsolicited advice and “just you waits” verses, you know, smiling at someone or greeting someone and saying they have a cute baby, then yeah. I think young moms will be better off if you do leave them be. If “little kids, little problems” is your idea of a warm conversation starter, they are better off being left alone.

Nope I have never said any of those sayings to any young mom. I think I may have said "you have your hands full" as I opened to the door for a young mom. Now I see that even that could be considered an insult so now I am not going to be looking at your baby ( or you) Not going to make any encouraging words or tell you that your baby is adorable. Nope! If you can't handle a few human "mistakes" than I am going to cross the street to get away from you.

Bye!

I guess I'll just have to be content with interacting with my husband, family, friends, neighbors, parents at daycare and elementary school, co-workers, people at my church, and people at the pool and the other activities we go to.

Whatever shall I do without your attention and compliments, random woman in the parking lot? It's almost as if I'll just have to...live my life with the many, many people in it. Byeeee!

You have made this post over and over and over (and yes, it’s easy to tell it’s you). Go play with your baby.

I’d tell you to go play with your husband, but there’s no going back to a dry well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Cleaning and cooking can wait til tomorrow
For babies grow up as we've learned to our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep"

Babies don't keep! That's all we are saying! If you really dislike the baby stage so much that you can't think of one positive thing about it you might miss, then I really don't know what to tell you! We are not trying to insult you, or say you are doing it wrong, or that it isn't hard. Things can be hard and wonderful at the same time.

We know that. And guess what? We’ve already been hearing it from literally everyone we encounter ever since we had a freaking bump. So you’re not original, you’re not coming in with vital information, you are just an annoying stranger who wants to use us as a soapbox to talk about your life and your experience. No thank you. That’s all we’re saying.

Jesus, chill lady. We are just making idle chit chat with you. No one is trying to give you "vital information" or stand on a soapbox. ITS CHIT CHAT. I know your generation doesn't really understand what that is, but I assure you its harmless. No one is trying to "annoy" you.

You really, really need to CTFD.

We don’t want your idle chit chat. Ease on down the road.

Tough crap. You’re getting it anyway.

Oh, there’s the old lady yelling at clouds again! Shake that fist and tell ‘em, Linda!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It figures that the "everyone gets a trophy" generation would want both a trophy for choosing to be a mother and to dictate how people interact with them in public.

Perfectly stated.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The hostility is palpable. Not fatigue or being overextended, downright disdain.

What a way to walk around the world.

I know, isn't it frustrating when you can't manipulate or bully someone into seeing the world as you see it, and behaving exactly the way you think they should behave? Isn't it annoying when you approach a complete stranger and try to give them advice, and they have the audacity to not like it? Isn't it awful when you try to change someone's mind, again and again, and they just...keep the opinion they have? Apparently that's very upsetting, no?

Do you hear yourself? You are doing exactly what you are complaining about. I'm sorry that you hate other people so much.

No, sorry, I'm not here telling people not to offer unsolicited advice and comments to strangers--if they want to be Nosey Nellies, that's on them. But when I shared my opinion that this kind of attention isn't welcome or productive to me, and then you tell me over and over again why I should change my mind? I'm just...not going to. But I have not once--not once--told other people to stop being intrusive to moms with small babies. I just said there's never a world where "oh I'm going to stop looking at you and your baby" [LOL] is going to persuade me out of my perspective.

I'm the person who said I wouldn't comment on anything about you or your baby. I didn't say or think that it was "punishment" I know my opinion matters very little to you but, when a few posters back asked what they would like people to say "cute baby" good job and you are doing your best or whatever...I was addressing those comments.

My basic point is sometimes as humans you are well intentioned and mean well and say the wrong thing. It isn't done intentionally and you were trying to connect to another mom/woman. So instead of saying hey this person had good intentions and they meant well you attack them and then dictate what they should say. Which I agree would be nice if we were robots and always knew what to say.

So to avoid the eye rolls and the nasty comments I am going to remove myself from the conversation and not talk to strangers about their babies. Most moms do like it when people say "cute baby" but hey you want to control us and I am saying no thanks!

OK? Shall I alert moms of babies that you will no longer be complimenting their babies? Or maybe you should start a new PSA thread?

HA HA HA I am not that conceited that my thoughts, compliments or 'advice' will be missed. But, if you wonder why very few older women say anything to you and your baby..now you now why!

Why would anyone wonder why older strangers aren’t saying anything to them and their babies? LOL.

I suppose I am not communicating very well or just different generation. I remember dressing up my baby and going to church and so happy when people would talk to me about my baby. Even if they gave advise like cherish this time. It made me feel connected. Or if my toddler was acting up a stranger would come over and get my baby to laugh.
If I was standing in line with my cute baby it isn't that I need validation from a stranger but it makes life happier place.

If you dont have the experience I can understand why my comment would be strange to you. Point is I wouldn't say anything for fear to anger you. Isn't that somewhat sad?

NP. People do like when people come talk to them at a place of worship (as in we all chose to be here and we are all here for community). That’s different from a total stranger giving you unsolicited advice in Target. People saying hello and complimenting a baby is quite different from “you think this is hard, try having a teenager.” Those are different things, and you seem to be conflating the two.

When someone gave me unsolicited advice I did not get offended so quickly. So what if they think teenagers are harder? I'm many ways it is harder. I suppose Covid has gotten people out of the habit of interacting.

I suppose we have to agree to disagree

People who are different from you and have different preferences then you do are not damaged from COVID. They just—are different from you.

We are all damaged from Covid. I can only imagine having a baby and being isolated from "strangers" would make new moms/dads more cautious. Covid could kill your baby and until recently no shots. I know I have changed because of Covid.

It makes sense people would also more sensitive.

I guess COVID also makes people completely stuck in their ways, quite literally unable to handle the fact that people have different opinions, preferences, and ideas. I’m trying to imagine you learning about and appreciating cultural differences, and you just don’t seem like the type who can learn or accept anything new and different. How interesting! Do you think that’s generational, or just your specific personality type?

Wow here I am thinking I am conversing with an adult but you yet here you are insulting me about a totally different topic. You don't know me and yet you feel quite confident to throw insults about something you dont know.

I think that in the future you will become the person you claim to dislike...those giving unsolicited advice.

Good day!

You can think that, and it affects me not at all, because…you’re just a rando in the Target parking lot! Byeeeeeeee!!!

Oh no you hurt my feeelings! Not. You can't see anyone else's point of view. Bye yourself

Aww, you’re one of those old birds who takes 30-45 minute to leave after announcing she’s going to do so. Take your time, Linda! We’ll just keep nodding and waving until you’re gone!

One day in the not too distant future, you too will be Linda (probably Ashley) and some Gen Z kid who already thinks you are painfully worthless but isn't on DCUM will say the same things to you. You receive from this world what you put out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hostility is palpable. Not fatigue or being overextended, downright disdain.

What a way to walk around the world.

I know, isn't it frustrating when you can't manipulate or bully someone into seeing the world as you see it, and behaving exactly the way you think they should behave? Isn't it annoying when you approach a complete stranger and try to give them advice, and they have the audacity to not like it? Isn't it awful when you try to change someone's mind, again and again, and they just...keep the opinion they have? Apparently that's very upsetting, no?

Do you hear yourself? You are doing exactly what you are complaining about. I'm sorry that you hate other people so much.

No, sorry, I'm not here telling people not to offer unsolicited advice and comments to strangers--if they want to be Nosey Nellies, that's on them. But when I shared my opinion that this kind of attention isn't welcome or productive to me, and then you tell me over and over again why I should change my mind? I'm just...not going to. But I have not once--not once--told other people to stop being intrusive to moms with small babies. I just said there's never a world where "oh I'm going to stop looking at you and your baby" [LOL] is going to persuade me out of my perspective.

I'm the person who said I wouldn't comment on anything about you or your baby. I didn't say or think that it was "punishment" I know my opinion matters very little to you but, when a few posters back asked what they would like people to say "cute baby" good job and you are doing your best or whatever...I was addressing those comments.

My basic point is sometimes as humans you are well intentioned and mean well and say the wrong thing. It isn't done intentionally and you were trying to connect to another mom/woman. So instead of saying hey this person had good intentions and they meant well you attack them and then dictate what they should say. Which I agree would be nice if we were robots and always knew what to say.

So to avoid the eye rolls and the nasty comments I am going to remove myself from the conversation and not talk to strangers about their babies. Most moms do like it when people say "cute baby" but hey you want to control us and I am saying no thanks!

OK? Shall I alert moms of babies that you will no longer be complimenting their babies? Or maybe you should start a new PSA thread?

HA HA HA I am not that conceited that my thoughts, compliments or 'advice' will be missed. But, if you wonder why very few older women say anything to you and your baby..now you now why!

Why would anyone wonder why older strangers aren’t saying anything to them and their babies? LOL.

I suppose I am not communicating very well or just different generation. I remember dressing up my baby and going to church and so happy when people would talk to me about my baby. Even if they gave advise like cherish this time. It made me feel connected. Or if my toddler was acting up a stranger would come over and get my baby to laugh.
If I was standing in line with my cute baby it isn't that I need validation from a stranger but it makes life happier place.

If you dont have the experience I can understand why my comment would be strange to you. Point is I wouldn't say anything for fear to anger you. Isn't that somewhat sad?

NP. People do like when people come talk to them at a place of worship (as in we all chose to be here and we are all here for community). That’s different from a total stranger giving you unsolicited advice in Target. People saying hello and complimenting a baby is quite different from “you think this is hard, try having a teenager.” Those are different things, and you seem to be conflating the two.

When someone gave me unsolicited advice I did not get offended so quickly. So what if they think teenagers are harder? I'm many ways it is harder. I suppose Covid has gotten people out of the habit of interacting.

I suppose we have to agree to disagree

People who are different from you and have different preferences then you do are not damaged from COVID. They just—are different from you.

We are all damaged from Covid. I can only imagine having a baby and being isolated from "strangers" would make new moms/dads more cautious. Covid could kill your baby and until recently no shots. I know I have changed because of Covid.

It makes sense people would also more sensitive.

I guess COVID also makes people completely stuck in their ways, quite literally unable to handle the fact that people have different opinions, preferences, and ideas. I’m trying to imagine you learning about and appreciating cultural differences, and you just don’t seem like the type who can learn or accept anything new and different. How interesting! Do you think that’s generational, or just your specific personality type?

Wow here I am thinking I am conversing with an adult but you yet here you are insulting me about a totally different topic. You don't know me and yet you feel quite confident to throw insults about something you dont know.

I think that in the future you will become the person you claim to dislike...those giving unsolicited advice.

Good day!

You can think that, and it affects me not at all, because…you’re just a rando in the Target parking lot! Byeeeeeeee!!!

You are U N H I N G E D. This is not how mature adults speak. Get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“You are not the boss of me!”

Lol!