Does anyone else find ‘cherish these moments’ parenting advice a little traumatizing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Np. This thread makes me re-think all of the comments older women are making to me. I have tried to brush them off. But now I see their hatred, derision and total disdain of new moms. I understand now why they don’t support new moms the way I saw them supported by my grandmas and great grandmas.

I even see this at work. Women are supported by everyone except for the older women. When people mention this, older women say it’s because we’re using our sexuality. Nope

Ummm...maybe you are just not worthy of being supported by older women. Who are the older women in your life? Your mother and your MIL, right? So what makes these women who are grandmoms to your child treat you with hatred, derision and total disdain? I think the problem is you.

And if enough older women think that you are using your sexuality at work, then maybe you are. Because think about why your own female relative find you toxic.

I was supported by my MIL and mom, and I have been supporting my niece and my DD with their needs. I am honored to be part of their lives but if their thinking and behavior was as toxic as what many women write on this forum then I would have also kept my distance.

NP who is an older woman. I support you, new mom. I both experienced know-it-all, intrusive treatment from older women when I was a younger mom, and I believe that you’ve experienced it to.

I think a lot of posters are very upset to learn that their unsolicited advice and unhelpful “just you wait” comments are unwelcome and unappreciative. For some people, it’s easier to throw darts and get defensive then to simply understand that we are all annoying sometimes, and this is a very particular way that some older women are annoying to new moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know these older moms all hid in the kitchen with vodka when their kids were toddlers.

Oh, childhood memories? So, you are the grown up daughter of that mom? No wonder you grew up into a terrible mother too. Next time use BC.

NP. That’s the ugliest comment on this thread, and that’s saying a lot. I hope some sleep will help you do better today.

[Anonymous]

No. I do try to cherish my days with them, unsolicited hugs, following me around, combing my hair randomly, cuddles....it's sweet.

It took a long time to conceive my child and suffered pregnancy loss so I try to take it all in. It helps I have family around when I am overwhelmed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know these older moms all hid in the kitchen with vodka when their kids were toddlers.

Oh, childhood memories? So, you are the grown up daughter of that mom? No wonder you grew up into a terrible mother too. Next time use BC.

NP. That’s the ugliest comment on this thread, and that’s saying a lot. I hope some sleep will help you do better today.

Ok Melania!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:News flash you moms of younger kids. It really never gets easier. This is what my mom, who has four kids in their 30s and 40s, tells me.

News flash you older moms. The vast majority of people don't want unsolicited advice or opinions, especially from strangers. This is what my mom, who is the oldest of five children and has three children in their 30s and 40s--and who is a trained facilitator who teaches different personality groups how to work together in professional environments--taught me about manners and social interactions.

News flash: No one cares what you “don’t want.” You’re just not that important.

Apparently you care enough to comment!

Oh dear. Another 6th grader comeback. Keep it up. It’s such a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Cleaning and cooking can wait til tomorrow
For babies grow up as we've learned to our sorrow
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep"

Babies don't keep! That's all we are saying! If you really dislike the baby stage so much that you can't think of one positive thing about it you might miss, then I really don't know what to tell you! We are not trying to insult you, or say you are doing it wrong, or that it isn't hard. Things can be hard and wonderful at the same time.

We know that. And guess what? We’ve already been hearing it from literally everyone we encounter ever since we had a freaking bump. So you’re not original, you’re not coming in with vital information, you are just an annoying stranger who wants to use us as a soapbox to talk about your life and your experience. No thank you. That’s all we’re saying.

Jesus, chill lady. We are just making idle chit chat with you. No one is trying to give you "vital information" or stand on a soapbox. ITS CHIT CHAT. I know your generation doesn't really understand what that is, but I assure you its harmless. No one is trying to "annoy" you.

You really, really need to CTFD.

We don’t want your idle chit chat. Ease on down the road.

Tough crap. You’re getting it anyway.

Oh, there’s the old lady yelling at clouds again! Shake that fist and tell ‘em, Linda!

Yawn. You’re boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know these older moms all hid in the kitchen with vodka when their kids were toddlers.

Oh, childhood memories? So, you are the grown up daughter of that mom? No wonder you grew up into a terrible mother too. Next time use BC.

NP. That’s the ugliest comment on this thread, and that’s saying a lot. I hope some sleep will help you do better today.

Ok Melania!

Seek psychological help.