Does anyone else find ‘cherish these moments’ parenting advice a little traumatizing?

[Anonymous]

Don’t get me wrong - I 100% understand that life goes by pretty fast (h/t Ferris bueller) and no part more so than your kids childhood. Buuuut I feel like I’m already in a permanent state of semi existential crisis due to this fact, while also parenting is insanely hard at times. It’s no one’s fault
- it’s not like there’s a ‘treasure every moment’ lobby group. I just - when I see that or hear it I’m like - I know I am trying my best people!! 😭🤬

[Anonymous]

Yes I feel it too.

[Anonymous]

It’s true though.

[Anonymous]

I don't find it traumatizing. But I definitely roll my eyes. Don't preach at me, and don't tell me what to cherish. I'll cherish what I want. I'm an adult and don't want to be told how to feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't find it traumatizing. But I definitely roll my eyes. Don't preach at me, and don't tell me what to cherish. I'll cherish what I want. I'm an adult and don't want to be told how to feel.

This.

Also find it condescending. Oh, thank you, great expert, for telling me what I am doing wrong

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s saying you’re doing anything wrong. I just think it’s true that we often wish things away then look back and miss it.

[Anonymous]

no

[Anonymous]

I heard that the people who say this are usually the ones who didn't do a good job prioritizing themselves, because it's easier to cherish time with your kids when you can enjoy times with with your kids. When you're constantly grinding away at a job, childcare, and housework, there just aren't many moments to cherish.

I have no idea if this is true because I heard it after people stopped telling me to cherish the moments because my kids are older but I'm so curious if it holds true for others!

[Anonymous]

Traumatizing??? Annoying, yes. But traumatizing? That seems overly dramatic.

[Anonymous]

No, not at all. Maybe try not to take it so personally? They saying has more to do with the person saying it, than whom they are addressing. They most likely are feeling nostalgic for a time when they had small kids. Give them some grace. Every stage of life comes with its own rewards and challenges. Someday, you may also miss having young kids.

OP, if you are that exhausted/traumatized then you may need some help or changes to your daily routine… I don’t know. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way about “live like you are dying”…

Well no I have cancer and I am dying but I still have to go to work and pay the bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don’t get me wrong - I 100% understand that life goes by pretty fast (h/t Ferris bueller) and no part more so than your kids childhood. Buuuut I feel like I’m already in a permanent state of semi existential crisis due to this fact, while also parenting is insanely hard at times. It’s no one’s fault
- it’s not like there’s a ‘treasure every moment’ lobby group. I just - when I see that or hear it I’m like - I know I am trying my best people!! 😭🤬

What part of parenting do you find insanely hard?

For me it was/is breastfeeding, IEPs, and when my children were hospitalized.

[Anonymous]

It is annoying when they say it. It’s constant. I will never sat that to a new mom.

[Anonymous]

No, and i find the overuse of the word traumatizing belittling to people who have suffered actual trauma.

[Anonymous]

Not those specific words, but I find anything celebrating motherhood—like happy Mother’s Day, you have the most important job, you’re a good mom, etc. to be traumatizing. The people saying those things have no idea how dark some days and months were.