Middle-aged single men: what are you relationships with 20-something women like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say that people in their 40s are actually less interesting when it comes to intellectual and stimulating conversations than adults in their 20s.

I have a niece in her 20s and I quite enjoy spending time with her. She is into many different things as she has the energy and enthusiasm that I once had but no longer do. She has travelled and goes to various art / music productions, she reads, she has an interest in certain political issues. She has a full time career that she is passionate about. She has been in 3 serious longish relationships. I think she is actually a far more interesting person to have conversations with than I am at this point in life!

I think age gap relationships can work if people have shared interests and a deep connection. Many aspects of life that create compatibility are not dependent on chronological age. Relationships at any age are a challenge so if you really click with someone I say go for it!

That's so odd to me. I mean, I definitely had stimulating intellectual conversations in my 20s, but I still have them now at 40.

I agree with the first poster of these two. When I was in my 20s, I was pretty interesting. And a very smart older woman thought so too.

Now that I'm in my 50s, I find some women in their 20s and 30s very interesting. Most of them are pretty dull, but the interesting ones exist, and the same thing was true when I myself was in my 20s. I have had plenty of interesting multi-day text conversations with young women, but I have not been successful in trying to meet them in person, with only a couple of exceptions that did not turn out very well.

I think all you're saying here is that there are interesting women out there in their twenties. I hope nobody would disagree. My point was that people at all ages of life can be interesting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 47, look 40, and get tons of looks from the 25-35 crowd.

And the women over 45 hate it.

You sound like a loser man.

[Anonymous]

Ha this conversation is reminding me of so many interactions I had when I was 19 and 20 that just make me cringe! I thought the fact that older men, more than men my age, were interested in me meant I was mature, grown-up, whatever. LOL. No, I was just easily wowed by their "insights" and knowledge. I was very smart, but not experienced enough to know that these men were not special.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm late 50s. A year ago I was dating someone a dozen years younger, and I liked that. Since the breakup I've ended up sleeping with several mid- and late-20s women. One of them didn't become a girlfriend, or a FWB, but she had become a really close platonic friend. We have similar interests and challenges in life.

How does a 50-something man meet women in the 20's and get them to be interested in going out with the older, perhaps not fully sexually-functional, kind? This is a serious question.

I meet them on Bumble and Hinge. I am fully functional, and highly skilled. But I am also old enough to not be completely controlled by my hormones. It's a good place to be. I'll also note I have a PhD and a semi-prominent job.

I can try to explain what the young women I met in the last year like about me: one just liked that I was older and affectionate. She was looking to settle down. She had a MS degree in science. The second was a computer scientist with a BS from an excellent university. She liked my wild, kinky side and the extravagant dates I could take her on. she is an amazing freak. The third woman became a friend. She is finishing a PhD in a scientific field and will have an amazing career. I think what she likes is that I am so interested in her life and her success and she says she appreciates my wisdom. Despite our age difference, we both face some of the same challenges in life right now.

What a catch!

Why the sarcasm? I'm not the guy with a PhD and semin-prominent job, but I have no doubt that he actually is something of a catch. He seems to be having real relationships with smart women who are younger. Does anyone doubt that he would get plenty of interest from women his own age with good jobs and educations? He'd probably look like "a catch" to many of them.

It truly wasn’t sarcasm.

[Anonymous]

Younger women are far less jaded than older women, or at a minimum the older women on this site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Younger women are far less jaded than older women, or at a minimum the older women on this site.

-Life comes at you fast. So you’d better be ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

Hahaha! I’m sorry, no. I spend a lot of time with highly intelligent early to mid 20s, and they are babies. You might *feel* that way, but 20-26 olds don’t even have a fully formed brain. Old guys say this because they are thinking with their d***s.

Gosh, I am a woman and I really think we need to stop with this nonsense. Older women are no more intellectually interesting or deep or valuable than younger women. I also feel like I was just as interesting when I was 23 as at 43. And my body was certainly better than, but I don’t care. Women should see their inherent value as not tied to either their age or how “intellectually stimulating“ they are. People have strong and meaningful relationships throughout their lives, and for all different reasons. I’m not at all threatened by older men going out with younger women. There is a lot of love to go around in the world, and people can find the relationship for them at any age.

the intellectual stimulation part is a red herring. The issue is self-worth and boundaries. Older women know how to set boundaries and call men out on their BS. Younger women have a much much harder time with that not.

Translation: Older women are unpleasant and argumentative, younger women far less so.

Fact check: True.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

Hahaha! I’m sorry, no. I spend a lot of time with highly intelligent early to mid 20s, and they are babies. You might *feel* that way, but 20-26 olds don’t even have a fully formed brain. Old guys say this because they are thinking with their d***s.

Gosh, I am a woman and I really think we need to stop with this nonsense. Older women are no more intellectually interesting or deep or valuable than younger women. I also feel like I was just as interesting when I was 23 as at 43. And my body was certainly better than, but I don’t care. Women should see their inherent value as not tied to either their age or how “intellectually stimulating“ they are. People have strong and meaningful relationships throughout their lives, and for all different reasons. I’m not at all threatened by older men going out with younger women. There is a lot of love to go around in the world, and people can find the relationship for them at any age.

the intellectual stimulation part is a red herring. The issue is self-worth and boundaries. Older women know how to set boundaries and call men out on their BS. Younger women have a much much harder time with that not.

Translation: Older women are unpleasant and argumentative, younger women far less so.

Fact check: True.

I think they are just more likely to call a man out for their BS or bad behavior which no man likes at any age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

Hahaha! I’m sorry, no. I spend a lot of time with highly intelligent early to mid 20s, and they are babies. You might *feel* that way, but 20-26 olds don’t even have a fully formed brain. Old guys say this because they are thinking with their d***s.

Gosh, I am a woman and I really think we need to stop with this nonsense. Older women are no more intellectually interesting or deep or valuable than younger women. I also feel like I was just as interesting when I was 23 as at 43. And my body was certainly better than, but I don’t care. Women should see their inherent value as not tied to either their age or how “intellectually stimulating“ they are. People have strong and meaningful relationships throughout their lives, and for all different reasons. I’m not at all threatened by older men going out with younger women. There is a lot of love to go around in the world, and people can find the relationship for them at any age.

the intellectual stimulation part is a red herring. The issue is self-worth and boundaries. Older women know how to set boundaries and call men out on their BS. Younger women have a much much harder time with that not.

Translation: Older women are unpleasant and argumentative, younger women far less so.

Fact check: True.

Yes, it is unpleasant to be called out when you are a piece of shit, so I imagine you would be really into younger women.

[Anonymous]

You know damn well you old farts are giving cash, trips, or other gifts to spend time with 20 something women. At least one poster admitted it. It's not a relationship. You are a client. But I suppose the 'relationship' fairytale spin keeps you out of jail for solicitation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my 50s and fully admit that I was probably more intellectually stimulating in my 20s/30s because I had time to read more, and wasn't wasting time on social media

Hahaha! I’m sorry, no. I spend a lot of time with highly intelligent early to mid 20s, and they are babies. You might *feel* that way, but 20-26 olds don’t even have a fully formed brain. Old guys say this because they are thinking with their d***s.

Gosh, I am a woman and I really think we need to stop with this nonsense. Older women are no more intellectually interesting or deep or valuable than younger women. I also feel like I was just as interesting when I was 23 as at 43. And my body was certainly better than, but I don’t care. Women should see their inherent value as not tied to either their age or how “intellectually stimulating“ they are. People have strong and meaningful relationships throughout their lives, and for all different reasons. I’m not at all threatened by older men going out with younger women. There is a lot of love to go around in the world, and people can find the relationship for them at any age.

the intellectual stimulation part is a red herring. The issue is self-worth and boundaries. Older women know how to set boundaries and call men out on their BS. Younger women have a much much harder time with that not.

Translation: Older women are unpleasant and argumentative, younger women far less so.

Fact check: True.

Yes, it is unpleasant to be called out when you are a piece of shit, so I imagine you would be really into younger women.

You’re proving my point for me, thanks! 😂😂😂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know damn well you old farts are giving cash, trips, or other gifts to spend time with 20 something women. At least one poster admitted it. It's not a relationship. You are a client. But I suppose the 'relationship' fairytale spin keeps you out of jail for solicitation

Older women expect you to spend money on them too, so why not buy a higher quality product?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know damn well you old farts are giving cash, trips, or other gifts to spend time with 20 something women. At least one poster admitted it. It's not a relationship. You are a client. But I suppose the 'relationship' fairytale spin keeps you out of jail for solicitation

Older women expect you to spend money on them too, so why not buy a higher quality product?

So, you are buying the fountain of youth?

Carry on Ponce de Leon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve dated 20s and 40s (my age). They ALL watch the same stupid Netflix shows (doctors, lawyers, employee at one of the three letter agencies, teachers, nurses, it doesn’t matter).

They're all wearing that t-shirt that says "nothing more punk than your public library!" I want to know which celebrity or IG influencer started this trend because every white woman in NW DC is wearing this shirt now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I don't think I have a low opinion of women in their 20s. Generally, our babysitters are college and grad students. Some are quite mature, and I like many of them. But I can't imagine having more than an occasional conversation with them that doesn't feel like parent/child or mentor/mentee. The interests, the naivete ... so much just doesn't seem to match up to someone who's been an independent, professional adult for 20 years and a parent, to boot. But thanks for the responses. Interesting. one thing that seems clear is that even when there is conversation, it's not enough to build a strong relationship. They still fade out after a few months, at best.

NP here, a woman. I agree with you, and it betrays a certain misogyny on the part of these men that they admire that naivete and unfounded optimism. They think they're defending the intellects of these young women, when in fact they're insulting them by admiring women at their least intellectually evolved state.

I think it betrays misogyny on the part of women who resent younger women, TBH.

I don't think any of us resent these young women. Well, I don't anyway. I think the whole thing sounds sad.

I’m very aware I’m a brief, month to two-month fling in these women’s life before they go on to date and eventually marry men their own age. I treat everyone with kindness and respect. It’s not sad for them or for me.

The fact that you don't realize how sad it is that you're fulfilled by this is the sad part!