Husband wants to be more intimate

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s ridiculous. He should be helping you with the twins and helping you get pelvic PT to recover from your birth, not harassing you for sex. Sorry but you’re at the start of a long marathon, and if you don’t get time to relax and rest now you will be extremely depleted by the end of the year. Tell him what you need to feel rested and healed and put yourself first. He’s an idiot if he doesn’t see what you need.

Sex is a part of marriage and this is a terrible opinion. No man is thinking of helping their wives get pelvic PT. Get outta here! Sex can take a few minutes at minimum, it really ain't that hard to do.

Why don’t you go sh*t two watermelons out of your ass for the sake of having a family and then have them attached to you all day for months, eating all the calories you take in? Get back to us about how hard it is or not to take it up the ass as often as demanded after that.

You're an idiot. She gave birth to twins last I read, she didn't sh^t two watermelons out of her ass. Also, giving birth to twins is amaaaaaazing, but it's not like sighting a unicorn. Keep telling this woman to take the time she needs and to tell her husband to chill and she'll be a single mama of twins in no time. As much as you weirdos on this site like to act like doling out sex to your husbands twice a year because he deserved after helping with the baby/mowing the lawn/buying you whatever you want is normal, it's not! MARRIAGES INCLUDE SEX!! I didn't make the rules. That's just what it is. Connecting with your husband sexually is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. Y'all give out sex like kindergarten teachers hand out gold stars for good behavior and then come here and rant about needing a divorce and not being able to connect with your husbands. Well, duh!!

Sometimes I get irritated at comments that say that women should be having unpleasant sex twice a week so that their husbands don’t leave them, but then I read this and I’m reminded that the internet is just full of whackos who need therapy.

Well, trust, I'm just as confused by women who get married and expect to not have sex and all of a sudden think of these men they fell so deeply in love with as only wanting to bust a nut because they actually want to have sex with them.

[Anonymous]

These comments are so disappointing. Not surprising, but disappointing. bell hooks said “ If men were socialized to desire love as much as they are taught to desire sex, we would see a cultural revolution.”

Maybe someday!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These comments are so disappointing. Not surprising, but disappointing. bell hooks said “ If men were socialized to desire love as much as they are taught to desire sex, we would see a cultural revolution.”

Maybe someday!

bell hooks was queer too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are healed now OP from birthing, I'd put out more to keep your husband happy. I know it's exhausting. Just tell him make it snappy.

Any man who will still have sex with his partner after she says some version of "I'll just lie here; make it quick" is trash.

I disagree. It's called compromise to meet each others needs in a marriage. His for sex, hers to get it over with as fast as possible so she can sleep. This isn't dating, not trying to make it most romantic passionate night ever.

When one person says they don't want to have sex but gives in to get the other person to stop harassing them, it's actually called rape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s ridiculous. He should be helping you with the twins and helping you get pelvic PT to recover from your birth, not harassing you for sex. Sorry but you’re at the start of a long marathon, and if you don’t get time to relax and rest now you will be extremely depleted by the end of the year. Tell him what you need to feel rested and healed and put yourself first. He’s an idiot if he doesn’t see what you need.

Sex is a part of marriage and this is a terrible opinion. No man is thinking of helping their wives get pelvic PT. Get outta here! Sex can take a few minutes at minimum, it really ain't that hard to do.

Why don’t you go sh*t two watermelons out of your ass for the sake of having a family and then have them attached to you all day for months, eating all the calories you take in? Get back to us about how hard it is or not to take it up the ass as often as demanded after that.

You're an idiot. She gave birth to twins last I read, she didn't sh^t two watermelons out of her ass. Also, giving birth to twins is amaaaaaazing, but it's not like sighting a unicorn. Keep telling this woman to take the time she needs and to tell her husband to chill and she'll be a single mama of twins in no time. As much as you weirdos on this site like to act like doling out sex to your husbands twice a year because he deserved after helping with the baby/mowing the lawn/buying you whatever you want is normal, it's not! MARRIAGES INCLUDE SEX!! I didn't make the rules. That's just what it is. Connecting with your husband sexually is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. Y'all give out sex like kindergarten teachers hand out gold stars for good behavior and then come here and rant about needing a divorce and not being able to connect with your husbands. Well, duh!!

Sometimes I get irritated at comments that say that women should be having unpleasant sex twice a week so that their husbands don’t leave them, but then I read this and I’m reminded that the internet is just full of whackos who need therapy.

Well, trust, I'm just as confused by women who get married and expect to not have sex and all of a sudden think of these men they fell so deeply in love with as only wanting to bust a nut because they actually want to have sex with them.

Trust? Lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this with kindness and without judgment: You need to put out before your husband starts looking elsewhere.

Find a babysitter to watch the kids and take an evening for yourselves each week. If you’re still uneasy with your body for whatever reason tell him that. Think of it as a time to perfect your bj skills. Men just operate differently than women it’s normal but you have to compromise. At this point it’s been a year with very little goodies I can understand his frustration.

She is THREE MONTHS past having twins and is “putting out” once a week! You’re insane, or a dude who feels like it’s his responsibility to get every other dude laid.

You're living in fantasy land. Soon it'll be but the twins need this... or I'm tired... and before you know it, hubby is looking elsewhere. It's just the way it goes. It's the reality of the thing. It just is. Either she musters up the umph to do it, or she'll be having serious marital issues in the next 3-6 months, I guarantee.

Pretty much this.

If you ignore your marriage, eventually it will go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this with kindness and without judgment: You need to put out before your husband starts looking elsewhere.

Find a babysitter to watch the kids and take an evening for yourselves each week. If you’re still uneasy with your body for whatever reason tell him that. Think of it as a time to perfect your bj skills. Men just operate differently than women it’s normal but you have to compromise. At this point it’s been a year with very little goodies I can understand his frustration.

She is THREE MONTHS past having twins and is “putting out” once a week! You’re insane, or a dude who feels like it’s his responsibility to get every other dude laid.

You're living in fantasy land. Soon it'll be but the twins need this... or I'm tired... and before you know it, hubby is looking elsewhere. It's just the way it goes. It's the reality of the thing. It just is. Either she musters up the umph to do it, or she'll be having serious marital issues in the next 3-6 months, I guarantee.

Pretty much this.

If you ignore your marriage, eventually it will go away.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s ridiculous. He should be helping you with the twins and helping you get pelvic PT to recover from your birth, not harassing you for sex. Sorry but you’re at the start of a long marathon, and if you don’t get time to relax and rest now you will be extremely depleted by the end of the year. Tell him what you need to feel rested and healed and put yourself first. He’s an idiot if he doesn’t see what you need.

Sex is a part of marriage and this is a terrible opinion. No man is thinking of helping their wives get pelvic PT. Get outta here! Sex can take a few minutes at minimum, it really ain't that hard to do.

Why don’t you go sh*t two watermelons out of your ass for the sake of having a family and then have them attached to you all day for months, eating all the calories you take in? Get back to us about how hard it is or not to take it up the ass as often as demanded after that.

You're an idiot. She gave birth to twins last I read, she didn't sh^t two watermelons out of her ass. Also, giving birth to twins is amaaaaaazing, but it's not like sighting a unicorn. Keep telling this woman to take the time she needs and to tell her husband to chill and she'll be a single mama of twins in no time. As much as you weirdos on this site like to act like doling out sex to your husbands twice a year because he deserved after helping with the baby/mowing the lawn/buying you whatever you want is normal, it's not! MARRIAGES INCLUDE SEX!! I didn't make the rules. That's just what it is. Connecting with your husband sexually is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. Y'all give out sex like kindergarten teachers hand out gold stars for good behavior and then come here and rant about needing a divorce and not being able to connect with your husbands. Well, duh!!

Tell me you’re an incel without telling me you’re an incel.

My H and I have sex 5-6 times a week normally, 2-5 times a week during baby times. I can easily go daily, often twice a day (or more). How? He helps with the kids, helps out around the house, values me, connects with me in dozens of different ways besides just sex, has never pressured me to put out during pregnancy/postpartum, and just being an overall great guy who doesn’t obsess over sex. Because he prioritizes every other aspect of our marriage, we have a lot of sex.

Men on here don’t like hearing it. But I’ve posted multiple times on here that I enjoy daily sex and they’ve called me a unicorn. I’m really not. I lose my drive in crappy relationships like any other woman. I just married a really great guy who respects me, values me beyond just a place to stick it in, and works with me as a true partner. Like this morning, he knows I’m exhausted because we have a baby. So he set the older kid up with a show, took the baby with him, got me coffee and breakfast, all so I could sleep in and not worry about making breakfast. Guess who got laid during morning nap time?

It’s not that hard. Value your wife beyond just sex, and she’ll want sex more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this with kindness and without judgment: You need to put out before your husband starts looking elsewhere.

Find a babysitter to watch the kids and take an evening for yourselves each week. If you’re still uneasy with your body for whatever reason tell him that. Think of it as a time to perfect your bj skills. Men just operate differently than women it’s normal but you have to compromise. At this point it’s been a year with very little goodies I can understand his frustration.

She is THREE MONTHS past having twins and is “putting out” once a week! You’re insane, or a dude who feels like it’s his responsibility to get every other dude laid.

You're living in fantasy land. Soon it'll be but the twins need this... or I'm tired... and before you know it, hubby is looking elsewhere. It's just the way it goes. It's the reality of the thing. It just is. Either she musters up the umph to do it, or she'll be having serious marital issues in the next 3-6 months, I guarantee.

Pretty much this.

If you ignore your marriage, eventually it will go away.

Uhh, her husband is ignoring her discomfort so that he can have sex more than once a week. How is ignoring somebody else’s discomfort and pain good for the marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s ridiculous. He should be helping you with the twins and helping you get pelvic PT to recover from your birth, not harassing you for sex. Sorry but you’re at the start of a long marathon, and if you don’t get time to relax and rest now you will be extremely depleted by the end of the year. Tell him what you need to feel rested and healed and put yourself first. He’s an idiot if he doesn’t see what you need.

Sex is a part of marriage and this is a terrible opinion. No man is thinking of helping their wives get pelvic PT. Get outta here! Sex can take a few minutes at minimum, it really ain't that hard to do.

Why don’t you go sh*t two watermelons out of your ass for the sake of having a family and then have them attached to you all day for months, eating all the calories you take in? Get back to us about how hard it is or not to take it up the ass as often as demanded after that.

You're an idiot. She gave birth to twins last I read, she didn't sh^t two watermelons out of her ass. Also, giving birth to twins is amaaaaaazing, but it's not like sighting a unicorn. Keep telling this woman to take the time she needs and to tell her husband to chill and she'll be a single mama of twins in no time. As much as you weirdos on this site like to act like doling out sex to your husbands twice a year because he deserved after helping with the baby/mowing the lawn/buying you whatever you want is normal, it's not! MARRIAGES INCLUDE SEX!! I didn't make the rules. That's just what it is. Connecting with your husband sexually is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. Y'all give out sex like kindergarten teachers hand out gold stars for good behavior and then come here and rant about needing a divorce and not being able to connect with your husbands. Well, duh!!

Tell me you’re an incel without telling me you’re an incel.

My H and I have sex 5-6 times a week normally, 2-5 times a week during baby times. I can easily go daily, often twice a day (or more). How? He helps with the kids, helps out around the house, values me, connects with me in dozens of different ways besides just sex, has never pressured me to put out during pregnancy/postpartum, and just being an overall great guy who doesn’t obsess over sex. Because he prioritizes every other aspect of our marriage, we have a lot of sex.

Men on here don’t like hearing it. But I’ve posted multiple times on here that I enjoy daily sex and they’ve called me a unicorn. I’m really not. I lose my drive in crappy relationships like any other woman. I just married a really great guy who respects me, values me beyond just a place to stick it in, and works with me as a true partner. Like this morning, he knows I’m exhausted because we have a baby. So he set the older kid up with a show, took the baby with him, got me coffee and breakfast, all so I could sleep in and not worry about making breakfast. Guess who got laid during morning nap time?

It’s not that hard. Value your wife beyond just sex, and she’ll want sex more.

Good for you, sis, but her husband wants sex more than once a week. You just wrote a whole novel about your marriage and your sex exploitations with your husband, but how does that help OP? It doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are healed now OP from birthing, I'd put out more to keep your husband happy. I know it's exhausting. Just tell him make it snappy.

Any man who will still have sex with his partner after she says some version of "I'll just lie here; make it quick" is trash.

I disagree. It's called compromise to meet each others needs in a marriage. His for sex, hers to get it over with as fast as possible so she can sleep. This isn't dating, not trying to make it most romantic passionate night ever.

When one person says they don't want to have sex but gives in to get the other person to stop harassing them, it's actually called rape.

+1. Compromise would be her H taking on more responsibility so she’s not so tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this with kindness and without judgment: You need to put out before your husband starts looking elsewhere.

Find a babysitter to watch the kids and take an evening for yourselves each week. If you’re still uneasy with your body for whatever reason tell him that. Think of it as a time to perfect your bj skills. Men just operate differently than women it’s normal but you have to compromise. At this point it’s been a year with very little goodies I can understand his frustration.

She is THREE MONTHS past having twins and is “putting out” once a week! You’re insane, or a dude who feels like it’s his responsibility to get every other dude laid.

You're living in fantasy land. Soon it'll be but the twins need this... or I'm tired... and before you know it, hubby is looking elsewhere. It's just the way it goes. It's the reality of the thing. It just is. Either she musters up the umph to do it, or she'll be having serious marital issues in the next 3-6 months, I guarantee.

Pretty much this.

If you ignore your marriage, eventually it will go away.

And? After it goes away, the wife, like most divorced women, will probably say she doesn't feel like meeting anyone else and will live out the rest of her life in peace, while the husband ties himself into knots trying to get sex from someone else. I know who I'd rather be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this with kindness and without judgment: You need to put out before your husband starts looking elsewhere.

Find a babysitter to watch the kids and take an evening for yourselves each week. If you’re still uneasy with your body for whatever reason tell him that. Think of it as a time to perfect your bj skills. Men just operate differently than women it’s normal but you have to compromise. At this point it’s been a year with very little goodies I can understand his frustration.

She is THREE MONTHS past having twins and is “putting out” once a week! You’re insane, or a dude who feels like it’s his responsibility to get every other dude laid.

You're living in fantasy land. Soon it'll be but the twins need this... or I'm tired... and before you know it, hubby is looking elsewhere. It's just the way it goes. It's the reality of the thing. It just is. Either she musters up the umph to do it, or she'll be having serious marital issues in the next 3-6 months, I guarantee.

Pretty much this.

If you ignore your marriage, eventually it will go away.

Uhh, her husband is ignoring her discomfort so that he can have sex more than once a week. How is ignoring somebody else’s discomfort and pain good for the marriage?

There you go adding to her story. She didn't mention "discomfort," she said she's TIRED and what basically amounts to a dip in her libido.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I say this with kindness and without judgment: You need to put out before your husband starts looking elsewhere.

Find a babysitter to watch the kids and take an evening for yourselves each week. If you’re still uneasy with your body for whatever reason tell him that. Think of it as a time to perfect your bj skills. Men just operate differently than women it’s normal but you have to compromise. At this point it’s been a year with very little goodies I can understand his frustration.

She is THREE MONTHS past having twins and is “putting out” once a week! You’re insane, or a dude who feels like it’s his responsibility to get every other dude laid.

You're living in fantasy land. Soon it'll be but the twins need this... or I'm tired... and before you know it, hubby is looking elsewhere. It's just the way it goes. It's the reality of the thing. It just is. Either she musters up the umph to do it, or she'll be having serious marital issues in the next 3-6 months, I guarantee.

Pretty much this.

If you ignore your marriage, eventually it will go away.

And? After it goes away, the wife, like most divorced women, will probably say she doesn't feel like meeting anyone else and will live out the rest of her life in peace, while the husband ties himself into knots trying to get sex from someone else. I know who I'd rather be.

Lies. She'll be back on DCUM asking with dating apps are the app, tips on hooking up with a random bar dude in Germany, or asking how long she should wait before her new boyfriend that she just met two months ago meets the twins.

Clearly you're new here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s ridiculous. He should be helping you with the twins and helping you get pelvic PT to recover from your birth, not harassing you for sex. Sorry but you’re at the start of a long marathon, and if you don’t get time to relax and rest now you will be extremely depleted by the end of the year. Tell him what you need to feel rested and healed and put yourself first. He’s an idiot if he doesn’t see what you need.

Sex is a part of marriage and this is a terrible opinion. No man is thinking of helping their wives get pelvic PT. Get outta here! Sex can take a few minutes at minimum, it really ain't that hard to do.

Why don’t you go sh*t two watermelons out of your ass for the sake of having a family and then have them attached to you all day for months, eating all the calories you take in? Get back to us about how hard it is or not to take it up the ass as often as demanded after that.

You're an idiot. She gave birth to twins last I read, she didn't sh^t two watermelons out of her ass. Also, giving birth to twins is amaaaaaazing, but it's not like sighting a unicorn. Keep telling this woman to take the time she needs and to tell her husband to chill and she'll be a single mama of twins in no time. As much as you weirdos on this site like to act like doling out sex to your husbands twice a year because he deserved after helping with the baby/mowing the lawn/buying you whatever you want is normal, it's not! MARRIAGES INCLUDE SEX!! I didn't make the rules. That's just what it is. Connecting with your husband sexually is key to maintaining a healthy relationship. Y'all give out sex like kindergarten teachers hand out gold stars for good behavior and then come here and rant about needing a divorce and not being able to connect with your husbands. Well, duh!!

Tell me you’re an incel without telling me you’re an incel.

My H and I have sex 5-6 times a week normally, 2-5 times a week during baby times. I can easily go daily, often twice a day (or more). How? He helps with the kids, helps out around the house, values me, connects with me in dozens of different ways besides just sex, has never pressured me to put out during pregnancy/postpartum, and just being an overall great guy who doesn’t obsess over sex. Because he prioritizes every other aspect of our marriage, we have a lot of sex.

Men on here don’t like hearing it. But I’ve posted multiple times on here that I enjoy daily sex and they’ve called me a unicorn. I’m really not. I lose my drive in crappy relationships like any other woman. I just married a really great guy who respects me, values me beyond just a place to stick it in, and works with me as a true partner. Like this morning, he knows I’m exhausted because we have a baby. So he set the older kid up with a show, took the baby with him, got me coffee and breakfast, all so I could sleep in and not worry about making breakfast. Guess who got laid during morning nap time?

It’s not that hard. Value your wife beyond just sex, and she’ll want sex more.

Good for you, sis, but her husband wants sex more than once a week. You just wrote a whole novel about your marriage and your sex exploitations with your husband, but how does that help OP? It doesn't.

A bunch of sexless men telling Op her H will cheat or she should take it up the butt isn’t helpful.

But it’s simple. OP explains to her H that they are actually having sex more frequently than average, especially for having twins, and that she needs him to be understanding as she processes her trauma and handles the exhaustion of caring for infants.

Then she explains what she needs to want more sex *in the future*. More help at home, more time spent reconnecting in other ways, time alone, therapy, whatever. With the understanding that this won’t be an immediate thing, as they are still in survival mode and she is sleep deprived and exhausted. In the meantime, establish boundaries like he can’t grope her, ask her repeatedly, etc as this just builds resentment.