Going no screens on a vacation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a son in his mid 20’s. He doesn’t want to think about me when he’s on vacation with a woman.

+1. Back of MIL. You can go 2 weeks without talking to your son. Maybe this is meant to be a very romantic trip intent on conceiving your grandbaby. Nothing kills the mood like the daily call status update with overbearing mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess if everyone unanimously agrees that I'm being overbearing and not respecting my son and his wife that I just got to accept that I won't hear from my son for 2 weeks. Maybe I'll plan an outing with some girlfriends one evening. I do work but it's part time. I am married but my husband works a ton so we aren't around each other much. Maybe he can take some time off and we can do something like day trips or even an overnight trip ourselves.

I just wish it was my son who relayed the message to me and not my DIL.

It sounds like you have a good plan, OP.
Please keep us updated! You’ll be fine.
Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Why is everyone coddling OP with hugs and crap? She sounds insufferable, overbearing, pushy, and like she can't accept boundaries form where I'm standing. She can't go 2 weeks without talking to her perfectly healthy adult son please. Her son wasn't diagnosed with a severe health condition or anything let's save the dramatics for real issues people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone coddling OP with hugs and crap? She sounds insufferable, overbearing, pushy, and like she can't accept boundaries form where I'm standing. She can't go 2 weeks without talking to her perfectly healthy adult son please. Her son wasn't diagnosed with a severe health condition or anything let's save the dramatics for real issues people.

You’re assuming the OP is overbearing. Others prefer to think she is clueless and means well. You’re being rude and rudeness will certainly not help the OP nor her son and DIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone coddling OP with hugs and crap? She sounds insufferable, overbearing, pushy, and like she can't accept boundaries form where I'm standing. She can't go 2 weeks without talking to her perfectly healthy adult son please. Her son wasn't diagnosed with a severe health condition or anything let's save the dramatics for real issues people.

You’re assuming the OP is overbearing. Others prefer to think she is clueless and means well. You’re being rude and rudeness will certainly not help the OP nor her son and DIL.

Isn't going behind her DIL's back and having a hissy because she can't talk to her baby boy for 2 weeks the definition of overbearing? Not being able to handle not talking to someone for 2 weeks is the definition of overbearing. She also keeps blaming her DIL and being mad because she relayed the message and not her son. That is also overbearing. I'm not sure how you get clueless out of that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone coddling OP with hugs and crap? She sounds insufferable, overbearing, pushy, and like she can't accept boundaries form where I'm standing. She can't go 2 weeks without talking to her perfectly healthy adult son please. Her son wasn't diagnosed with a severe health condition or anything let's save the dramatics for real issues people.

You’re assuming the OP is overbearing. Others prefer to think she is clueless and means well. You’re being rude and rudeness will certainly not help the OP nor her son and DIL.

Isn't going behind her DIL's back and having a hissy because she can't talk to her baby boy for 2 weeks the definition of overbearing? Not being able to handle not talking to someone for 2 weeks is the definition of overbearing. She also keeps blaming her DIL and being mad because she relayed the message and not her son. That is also overbearing. I'm not sure how you get clueless out of that.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone coddling OP with hugs and crap? She sounds insufferable, overbearing, pushy, and like she can't accept boundaries form where I'm standing. She can't go 2 weeks without talking to her perfectly healthy adult son please. Her son wasn't diagnosed with a severe health condition or anything let's save the dramatics for real issues people.

You’re assuming the OP is overbearing. Others prefer to think she is clueless and means well. You’re being rude and rudeness will certainly not help the OP nor her son and DIL.

Isn't going behind her DIL's back and having a hissy because she can't talk to her baby boy for 2 weeks the definition of overbearing? Not being able to handle not talking to someone for 2 weeks is the definition of overbearing. She also keeps blaming her DIL and being mad because she relayed the message and not her son. That is also overbearing. I'm not sure how you get clueless out of that.

+100

Exactly! That's not clueless. MIL knows what's she's doing and is trying to go behind DIL's back to her son after DIL made the boundaries very clear and change the situation because it's all about MIL's wants

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you’re way too dependent on your son. I’m close to my mom and dh is close to his, and still we don’t *have* to communicate every single day. I’m wondering if your son is sick of it and this was an idea to cut the umbilical cord and show you that you don’t have to talk to him every single day to be close to him. You need to let this go.

I'm the OP. We don't have to communicate every single day but going two weeks is a lot with absolutely no contact whatsoever.

It's really not. He's a grown man and you're an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone coddling OP with hugs and crap? She sounds insufferable, overbearing, pushy, and like she can't accept boundaries form where I'm standing. She can't go 2 weeks without talking to her perfectly healthy adult son please. Her son wasn't diagnosed with a severe health condition or anything let's save the dramatics for real issues people.

You’re assuming the OP is overbearing. Others prefer to think she is clueless and means well. You’re being rude and rudeness will certainly not help the OP nor her son and DIL.

Isn't going behind her DIL's back and having a hissy because she can't talk to her baby boy for 2 weeks the definition of overbearing? Not being able to handle not talking to someone for 2 weeks is the definition of overbearing. She also keeps blaming her DIL and being mad because she relayed the message and not her son. That is also overbearing. I'm not sure how you get clueless out of that.

+100

+100000

[Anonymous]

What do you NEED to tell him when he's on vacation that can't wait? He won't be alone - they will be together - so there's no safety issue that they have to check in.

You are not an addict that needs to detox from contact. You are smothering him to fulfil your boredom/loneliness/obsession/whatever that makes you feel like you have to get details from him every day. You will be okay! He will be okay!

Please get a grip on why you feel you can't be without him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess if everyone unanimously agrees that I'm being overbearing and not respecting my son and his wife that I just got to accept that I won't hear from my son for 2 weeks. Maybe I'll plan an outing with some girlfriends one evening. I do work but it's part time. I am married but my husband works a ton so we aren't around each other much. Maybe he can take some time off and we can do something like day trips or even an overnight trip ourselves.

I just wish it was my son who relayed the message to me and not my DIL.

Why would you prefer the message came from your son? How would that make it easier to hear?

[Anonymous]

This lady is nuts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess if everyone unanimously agrees that I'm being overbearing and not respecting my son and his wife that I just got to accept that I won't hear from my son for 2 weeks. Maybe I'll plan an outing with some girlfriends one evening. I do work but it's part time. I am married but my husband works a ton so we aren't around each other much. Maybe he can take some time off and we can do something like day trips or even an overnight trip ourselves.

I just wish it was my son who relayed the message to me and not my DIL.

Why would you prefer the message came from your son? How would that make it easier to hear?

My guess is she feels more comfortable railroading her son and getting him to agree to what she wants. I bet this request from her DIL caught her off guard (which is precisely why they did it this way…)

[Anonymous]

There is something great about going on vacation, turning your phone off and completely unplugging. It would be nice if they told you where they are staying in case you have to reach them in an emergency, but otherwise you are out of line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess if everyone unanimously agrees that I'm being overbearing and not respecting my son and his wife that I just got to accept that I won't hear from my son for 2 weeks. Maybe I'll plan an outing with some girlfriends one evening. I do work but it's part time. I am married but my husband works a ton so we aren't around each other much. Maybe he can take some time off and we can do something like day trips or even an overnight trip ourselves.

I just wish it was my son who relayed the message to me and not my DIL.

Why would you prefer the message came from your son? How would that make it easier to hear?

My guess is she feels more comfortable railroading her son and getting him to agree to what she wants. I bet this request from her DIL caught her off guard (which is precisely why they did it this way…)

Taking the OP where she is, which is talking to her son everyday, apparently forever, yes I can see how it would be jarring and even upsetting to go two weeks. Is it an odd situation to begin with? Yes, but apparently it has been acceptable/working for her and her son for this long. Does she need to accept it? Of course. But is she wrong to be hurt/worried about it? Of course not.

And I'm surprised at all of the people saying she shouldn't talk directly to her son about it. So often, I see posters asserting that the DH should be the only one that interacts with the inlaws. "Tell your DH to tell her...." "Your DH needs to enforce your boundary for you..." etc.