Struggling in longterm relationship with attraction

[Anonymous]

It’s not the women’s fault you picked them and there is a pattern

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP checking back in. Here’s what I don’t get. Everyone says my expectations are unrealistic. Real, however, is the root word of unrealistic. And the thing is these preferences existed and were “real” or a “reality” when these women wanted to seal the deal and have the dating turn into a relationship. So I’m confused on how they aren’t realistic expectations if they were good enough for her dating profile and early on. Would you slack at work and expect a raise every year? Or would your boss/company expect - at a baseline - you to live up to the resume and interview when they hired you?

I’m wondering if you’ve ever been assessed for Asperger’s. There is some rigidity in your posts, and the way you keep insisting on the logic of your argument despite many people pointing out that reality doesn’t work this way is indicative of a different way of thinking. Also your derivation of unrealistic from real; it’s like you’re locked in the logic of your own perspective in quite a narrow way.

Exactly what I was thinking as well. He's not attuned to reality and has a rigid definition of how women should be and evolve, and he has a repeated pattern of doing this which means he's stuck on this viewpoint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP checking back in. Here’s what I don’t get. Everyone says my expectations are unrealistic. Real, however, is the root word of unrealistic. And the thing is these preferences existed and were “real” or a “reality” when these women wanted to seal the deal and have the dating turn into a relationship. So I’m confused on how they aren’t realistic expectations if they were good enough for her dating profile and early on. Would you slack at work and expect a raise every year? Or would your boss/company expect - at a baseline - you to live up to the resume and interview when they hired you?

You are DISGUSTING.

You are not paying these women to turn you on.

They are not porn actresses.

I can't believe transactional people like you think you are capable of love.

[Anonymous]

OP here. So I have a challenge for all the haters in this thread. Suppose we simply flipped the script here. Suppose that my girlfriend was drawn to me initially and chose to enter into a relationship with me, in part, because I was generous with my time, thoughtful, and willing to listen to her about all the frustrations she faced during her day.

Further suppose I did this for a year, but decided I got tired of doing it after a year into the relationship. Would all of you haters tell her the same thing that you're telling me, that "people are on the best behavior in the early days of the relationship" and she should just adjust to me now grunting short replies back and burying myself in an Xbox or Sunday football rather than listening to her the same way I did in the beginning.

Face it, you wouldn't. Hypocrisy 101.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So I have a challenge for all the haters in this thread. Suppose we simply flipped the script here. Suppose that my girlfriend was drawn to me initially and chose to enter into a relationship with me, in part, because I was generous with my time, thoughtful, and willing to listen to her about all the frustrations she faced during her day.

Further suppose I did this for a year, but decided I got tired of doing it after a year into the relationship. Would all of you haters tell her the same thing that you're telling me, that "people are on the best behavior in the early days of the relationship" and she should just adjust to me now grunting short replies back and burying myself in an Xbox or Sunday football rather than listening to her the same way I did in the beginning.

Face it, you wouldn't. Hypocrisy 101.

Ladies and gentlemen if you were unsure before, this should make it clear to you that OP is nothing more than an incel that we have entertained for far too long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So I have a challenge for all the haters in this thread. Suppose we simply flipped the script here. Suppose that my girlfriend was drawn to me initially and chose to enter into a relationship with me, in part, because I was generous with my time, thoughtful, and willing to listen to her about all the frustrations she faced during her day.

Further suppose I did this for a year, but decided I got tired of doing it after a year into the relationship. Would all of you haters tell her the same thing that you're telling me, that "people are on the best behavior in the early days of the relationship" and she should just adjust to me now grunting short replies back and burying myself in an Xbox or Sunday football rather than listening to her the same way I did in the beginning.

Face it, you wouldn't. Hypocrisy 101.

Ladies and gentlemen if you were unsure before, this should make it clear to you that OP is nothing more than an incel that we have entertained for far too long.

+1 total troll. The dude can’t even see a difference between wearing heels and ignoring someone

Slow clap to the OP for getting what 8 pages?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So I have a challenge for all the haters in this thread. Suppose we simply flipped the script here. Suppose that my girlfriend was drawn to me initially and chose to enter into a relationship with me, in part, because I was generous with my time, thoughtful, and willing to listen to her about all the frustrations she faced during her day.

Further suppose I did this for a year, but decided I got tired of doing it after a year into the relationship. Would all of you haters tell her the same thing that you're telling me, that "people are on the best behavior in the early days of the relationship" and she should just adjust to me now grunting short replies back and burying myself in an Xbox or Sunday football rather than listening to her the same way I did in the beginning.

Face it, you wouldn't. Hypocrisy 101.

Dude. You are equating wearing sweatpants with kindness, caring, time and attention.
Hint: they are absolutely not equivalent. The fact that you think this says a lot about you.

And you are absolutely unwilling to listen to anyone on this thread's opinion or advice. Anyone who disagrees with you or tries to point out other perspectives are "haters." That doesn't bode well for you growing or maturing.

I bet you get defensive and are Never Wrong.

Break up with her. And try introspection.

You are the problem, my dude.

[Anonymous]

What’s your income, OP? Extraordinary women require extraordinary salaries. In DC, you’d need to be pulling 7+ figures to land a woman who will willingly put all that effort in her looks and sex every day.

But if you’ve got a Plain Jane salary, sorry my dear, but you’re stuck with us Plain Jane women in all our stained sweatpants glory.

[Anonymous]

Before I met my husband, I dated a guy that loved my easy going attitude (at first) but was very type A in his career and life. I knew our attitudes about life were too divergent so I broke up with him. I think you need to break up because attraction is very important in the first few years and it’s only going to get worse. You both hold different values and you need to find someone that is more compatible with yours. And you need to set her free to find her person. Just understand that you can’t have it both ways, easy going and chill vs high maintenance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So I have a challenge for all the haters in this thread. Suppose we simply flipped the script here. Suppose that my girlfriend was drawn to me initially and chose to enter into a relationship with me, in part, because I was generous with my time, thoughtful, and willing to listen to her about all the frustrations she faced during her day.

Further suppose I did this for a year, but decided I got tired of doing it after a year into the relationship. Would all of you haters tell her the same thing that you're telling me, that "people are on the best behavior in the early days of the relationship" and she should just adjust to me now grunting short replies back and burying myself in an Xbox or Sunday football rather than listening to her the same way I did in the beginning.

Face it, you wouldn't. Hypocrisy 101.

Ladies and gentlemen if you were unsure before, this should make it clear to you that OP is nothing more than an incel that we have entertained for far too long.

+1000. Totally obvious that it's an incel post.

[Anonymous]

Op here. What’s an incel. If the root word is any indication celibacy is involved. But see here’s the thing, I’m hardly celibate and have been in plenty of relationships so makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. What’s an incel. If the root word is any indication celibacy is involved. But see here’s the thing, I’m hardly celibate and have been in plenty of relationships so makes no sense.

OMG the OP is Siri!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. What’s an incel. If the root word is any indication celibacy is involved. But see here’s the thing, I’m hardly celibate and have been in plenty of relationships so makes no sense.

OMG the OP is Siri!!

Hahahahahaha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. What’s an incel. If the root word is any indication celibacy is involved. But see here’s the thing, I’m hardly celibate and have been in plenty of relationships so makes no sense.

OMG the OP is Siri!!

Hahahahahaha

Ok yes this whole thread makes a lot more sense now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So I have a challenge for all the haters in this thread. Suppose we simply flipped the script here. Suppose that my girlfriend was drawn to me initially and chose to enter into a relationship with me, in part, because I was generous with my time, thoughtful, and willing to listen to her about all the frustrations she faced during her day.

Further suppose I did this for a year, but decided I got tired of doing it after a year into the relationship. Would all of you haters tell her the same thing that you're telling me, that "people are on the best behavior in the early days of the relationship" and she should just adjust to me now grunting short replies back and burying myself in an Xbox or Sunday football rather than listening to her the same way I did in the beginning.

Face it, you wouldn't. Hypocrisy 101.

Look. No one cares if you do or don’t dump your girlfriend. Why are you so invested in convincing a bunch of strangers that you should break up? Just do it! Tell her it’s not working and move on. Or don’t.