Struggling in longterm relationship with attraction

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you said that she went from being pleasant and thoughtful to unkind and vengeful, we’d be on to something. But sweatpants as false marketing? C’mon OP.

IKR!! Get a sex robot, OP. You can dress her any way you want!

[Anonymous]

OP checking back in. Here’s what I don’t get. Everyone says my expectations are unrealistic. Real, however, is the root word of unrealistic. And the thing is these preferences existed and were “real” or a “reality” when these women wanted to seal the deal and have the dating turn into a relationship. So I’m confused on how they aren’t realistic expectations if they were good enough for her dating profile and early on. Would you slack at work and expect a raise every year? Or would your boss/company expect - at a baseline - you to live up to the resume and interview when they hired you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP checking back in. Here’s what I don’t get. Everyone says my expectations are unrealistic. Real, however, is the root word of unrealistic. And the thing is these preferences existed and were “real” or a “reality” when these women wanted to seal the deal and have the dating turn into a relationship. So I’m confused on how they aren’t realistic expectations if they were good enough for her dating profile and early on. Would you slack at work and expect a raise every year? Or would your boss/company expect - at a baseline - you to live up to the resume and interview when they hired you?

Courtship is a phase when people up the romance and lean on physical attraction to attract a partner. Sounds like you enjoy the courtship, falling in love phase. Not the phase when you really get to know someone beyond the clothes and sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP checking back in. Here’s what I don’t get. Everyone says my expectations are unrealistic. Real, however, is the root word of unrealistic. And the thing is these preferences existed and were “real” or a “reality” when these women wanted to seal the deal and have the dating turn into a relationship. So I’m confused on how they aren’t realistic expectations if they were good enough for her dating profile and early on. Would you slack at work and expect a raise every year? Or would your boss/company expect - at a baseline - you to live up to the resume and interview when they hired you?

You have to stop viewing pornographic images and stop masturbating forever. You’ve ruined yourself for real women. Very serious answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP checking back in. Here’s what I don’t get. Everyone says my expectations are unrealistic. Real, however, is the root word of unrealistic. And the thing is these preferences existed and were “real” or a “reality” when these women wanted to seal the deal and have the dating turn into a relationship. So I’m confused on how they aren’t realistic expectations if they were good enough for her dating profile and early on. Would you slack at work and expect a raise every year? Or would your boss/company expect - at a baseline - you to live up to the resume and interview when they hired you?

My boss doesn't say they love me. My husband doesn't judge me on my performance or adherence to his expectations.

Your love seems conditional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP checking back in. Here’s what I don’t get. Everyone says my expectations are unrealistic. Real, however, is the root word of unrealistic. And the thing is these preferences existed and were “real” or a “reality” when these women wanted to seal the deal and have the dating turn into a relationship. So I’m confused on how they aren’t realistic expectations if they were good enough for her dating profile and early on. Would you slack at work and expect a raise every year? Or would your boss/company expect - at a baseline - you to live up to the resume and interview when they hired you?

My boss doesn't say they love me. My husband doesn't judge me on my performance or adherence to his expectations.

Your love seems conditional.

You’re conflating love and physical attraction. The two can be quite different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP checking back in. Here’s what I don’t get. Everyone says my expectations are unrealistic. Real, however, is the root word of unrealistic. And the thing is these preferences existed and were “real” or a “reality” when these women wanted to seal the deal and have the dating turn into a relationship. So I’m confused on how they aren’t realistic expectations if they were good enough for her dating profile and early on. Would you slack at work and expect a raise every year? Or would your boss/company expect - at a baseline - you to live up to the resume and interview when they hired you?

You have to stop viewing pornographic images and stop masturbating forever. You’ve ruined yourself for real women. Very serious answer.

Who said anything about comparisons to pornography? These are about comparisons to the same person. Time T and time T+1.

[Anonymous]

Folks OP is never going to get the real women concept. OP, do you have the mojo to support a sugar baby? Because what you want is someone who can fulfill a specific job description. And those doing a job expect to be paid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Folks OP is never going to get the real women concept. OP, do you have the mojo to support a sugar baby? Because what you want is someone who can fulfill a specific job description. And those doing a job expect to be paid.

So you’re argument is that these women I have been in relationships were sugar babies for 12 months then miraculously decided to evolve into something else that is more realistic? That argument seems to lack a great deal of internal validity and suffer from logical error.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP checking back in. Here’s what I don’t get. Everyone says my expectations are unrealistic. Real, however, is the root word of unrealistic. And the thing is these preferences existed and were “real” or a “reality” when these women wanted to seal the deal and have the dating turn into a relationship. So I’m confused on how they aren’t realistic expectations if they were good enough for her dating profile and early on. Would you slack at work and expect a raise every year? Or would your boss/company expect - at a baseline - you to live up to the resume and interview when they hired you?

You have to stop viewing pornographic images and stop masturbating forever. You’ve ruined yourself for real women. Very serious answer.

Who said anything about comparisons to pornography? These are about comparisons to the same person. Time T and time T+1.

Cope and Irrelevant. You have corrupted your ability to love a real woman, and that colors the view you have of the woman in front of you. You should break up with her so she can find better.

You won’t though, because you find her convenient. If she’s let herself go so bad, why haven’t you dumped her? Would a company be afraid to let go of an incorrigent slacker?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP checking back in. Here’s what I don’t get. Everyone says my expectations are unrealistic. Real, however, is the root word of unrealistic. And the thing is these preferences existed and were “real” or a “reality” when these women wanted to seal the deal and have the dating turn into a relationship. So I’m confused on how they aren’t realistic expectations if they were good enough for her dating profile and early on. Would you slack at work and expect a raise every year? Or would your boss/company expect - at a baseline - you to live up to the resume and interview when they hired you?

My boss doesn't say they love me. My husband doesn't judge me on my performance or adherence to his expectations.

Your love seems conditional.

You’re conflating love and physical attraction. The two can be quite different.

In a long-term relationship they are supposed to be interconnected. I think my husband still wants to have a lot of sex with me b.c he loves me so much. I'm a sweat pants aficionado and have gained weight after 3 kids. But he's still into me.

What's going to happen when you are both 50? 65? 75? Old ladies don't go in for lingerie very much as far as I can tell.

[Anonymous]

OP are you an engineer or some other analytical profession? B.c I don't think your brain works like other people.

Or you have commitment issues and don't actually want a true long-term relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Folks OP is never going to get the real women concept. OP, do you have the mojo to support a sugar baby? Because what you want is someone who can fulfill a specific job description. And those doing a job expect to be paid.

So you’re argument is that these women I have been in relationships were sugar babies for 12 months then miraculously decided to evolve into something else that is more realistic? That argument seems to lack a great deal of internal validity and suffer from logical error.

No you’re right. I guess the better explanation is that, after a year or so of this tiresome nonsense, they just weren’t that into you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I actually believe you can find the woman who will keep you extremely sexually excited for years but there will be a price to pay. The kind of person who focuses on optimizing her physical attractiveness is less likely to invest as much effort in other parts of the relationship.

So you're basically saying you can't get compatibility and sexual chemistry to be sustained with one person?

I am not saying that. Some people -- think Kamala Harris -- are driven to excel in whatever they do. When it's time for intimacy, you know she is pulling out La Perla just as she guns for the top professionally. OP has clearly chosen someone who is not like this. He has chosen someone like me, a half-stepper. I put a lot of myself into remaining alluring but am a dud, professionally speaking. The unicorns like KH can have their pick. Is OP willing to step up to that level because this type of woman is not as understanding as we half-steppers tend to be. She knows she is rare and expects only the best.

The bold part sounds too high maintenance and completely not worth it - too much drama. Someone telling you that they are "so special" does not make them "so special".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP checking back in. Here’s what I don’t get. Everyone says my expectations are unrealistic. Real, however, is the root word of unrealistic. And the thing is these preferences existed and were “real” or a “reality” when these women wanted to seal the deal and have the dating turn into a relationship. So I’m confused on how they aren’t realistic expectations if they were good enough for her dating profile and early on. Would you slack at work and expect a raise every year? Or would your boss/company expect - at a baseline - you to live up to the resume and interview when they hired you?

I’m wondering if you’ve ever been assessed for Asperger’s. There is some rigidity in your posts, and the way you keep insisting on the logic of your argument despite many people pointing out that reality doesn’t work this way is indicative of a different way of thinking. Also your derivation of unrealistic from real; it’s like you’re locked in the logic of your own perspective in quite a narrow way.