How to deal with my mother's absolutely appaling Christmas idea?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
My 16 YO DS has a bit of a pot belly. Weight/height wise he is within normal ranges, he just carries a bit extra around his waist rather then elsewhere. We have talked to our doctor about this sevoral times and his advice is basically to keep him active (which he is voluntarily) and dont make a big deal about it - either he may grow into it during late puberty or can work it off later but she doesnt think it is a medical issue.
Now my mom, lovely woman that she is (or rather isnt) disagrees and feels that he is, 'chubby' and we should be doing more. And so recently she has told me and dh that her christmas gift for him this year will be a couple items of clothing he has on his list, but 1-2 sizes smaller then his size (which we have given her. I.e an adult medium shirt vs a large, or 32inch waist pants vs 34 inch. Her reasoning is that it would, "Give him a reason to lose his baby fat." We have told her we disagree, and asked her kindly to reconsider as we feel this is embarrassing to him, especially since he will be opening these gifts in front of his whole family including cousins so they will watch as he opens these clothes he does want only to realize he wont be able to wear them. But she is stead fast, and these arguements only seem to make her more determined that this is, according to her, the best gift she could give him. I need advice. Love my mom to bits, but I really dont think this is a good idea and need her to see that. |
Anonymous
|
I would get her anti ageing wrinkle cream or a voucher for botox or incontinence pads and let her open it in front of the family.
Then she'll get the message. |
Anonymous
| Stay home. Seriously. I would never put my kid in this situation, or risk putting my kid in this situation (since I’m not sure I’d trust that she backed off). |
Anonymous
| Will your son necessarily know it’s due to weight? I feel like grandparents are often way off in their sizing. I remember my MIL gave my 3 year old daughter a 24 month dress. Later, she gave her 2 year old brother a size 4 sweater. We’re always getting stuff that’s way too big or way too small from relatives. The kids know to say “thanks! That’s my favorite color!” Or “I love polka dots!” Even if it’s totally the wrong size. |
Anonymous
This. Skip it. Seriously. Small immediate family Christmas this year. |
Anonymous
Yup. Because even if you convince your mom not to do this cruel thing, I wouldn't trust her not to make inappropriate comments about his weight. And tell her why you can't join her. |
Anonymous
I like this idea. But I hate people so. Yeah. |
Anonymous
| I would seriously cancel Christmas over this. And I am really tolerant. |
Anonymous
If Grandma's serious about doing this, something tells me she wouldn't have a problem clearly stating her reason for doing so in front of everyone. |
Anonymous
| Her idea is horrible and wrong but your kid sounds chubby, not “chubby.” |
Anonymous
Probably. My kids each came up with a family christmas list with all the appropriate sizes for clothes, so he will know at best my mom completely ignored that part. Also, I wouldnt be surprised if mommy dearest had some note like, "Enjoy these, they will give you something to work for." In the box. I would just not go, but this is a huge event with all my siblings, some of my cousins, etc attending, some of whom live accross the country and we see only once a year. Most of whom (despite my lovely mother) are amazing people me/my family are looking forward to seeing over the holidays. Also, us backing out at this point would disappoint them as well. Its an annual tradition held around 3hrs from home, so not really something we can quickly pop into just to say hello. |
Anonymous
|
1. There probably isn't an article of clothing that a 16 year old boy would slim down to wear. 2. Your mother is incredibly stupid, because see 1. Is she going senile or has she always been like this? 3. I concur with PP's idea of some embarrassing gift. Although personally I like a certain brand of anti-wrinkle cream and would be delighted to receive it as a gift, so perhaps something a little more pointed... |
Anonymous
| PP here. One other thing. If my mom agreed not to do this, I would have a strategy for when she did. You need to take care of your kid first. |
Anonymous
OP here I mean, he is also 6 foot tall at 16, so I dont think adult large/34 inch waist pants are super large. He is not skinny by any means, and he does hold more weight around his middle, but is well within the average weight for his height and has no medical issues per the doctor. |
Anonymous
|
I wouldn't go and if your siblings ask why, tell them the truth.
Is your mom generally this cruel? Who but a total b*tch humiliates a 16 year old kid over their weight? At Christmas? In front of family? |