How to deal with my mother's absolutely appaling Christmas idea?

[Anonymous]

Do not go and tell your Mom why! You love this woman who is cruel to your son? A day with relatives whom I love to see would not take precedence over my son’s feelings. Your mother is very insensitive. Straighten her out!

[Anonymous]

I agree with prioritizing your son over your extended family gathering.

FWIW, I have known at least 3 boys who were a bit heavy and then out grew it when the aged into late teens, early 20.

For some I think it's the same way girls add a few lbs right b4 they spring into puberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And/or, I would tell her in a no-bull$hit, drop-dead tone that she had better not do this. Tell her if she humiliates him and makes him feel terrible about himself on Christmas, that will ruin her relationship with him, irreparably harm her relationship with you, and it will DEFINITELY be the last Christmas you spend with her for a long, long time.

This, +1000!!!

Honestly, this is what I would do too. One word about his weight, and next year’s Christmas is off the table. Her choice.

[Anonymous]

I’d prep mom that she better bring a mouth guard because if she pulls this crap I’ll take her a$$ down in front of the whole family.

I’d skip the event this year and let her know why.

[Anonymous]

I still struggle with my families devastating comments toward me that I endured as a child.
I would eliminate all contact from a family member before I would allow them to deliberately humiliate my child.

[Anonymous]

I would start calling my relatives who are going to attend. I would tell everyone that I will be skipping this years Christmas morning because Grandma is planning to humiliate my child in front of the whole family.

Then, I would invite everyone to meet somewhere in the middle - A 1.5 hour drive for you and them. Do not invite your mother.

[Anonymous]

Another option is to go to the tree and remove any gift from Grandma. Hide them. When she goes nuts asking "WHERE her gifts are?" Just smile, and suggest she get a full work up at the doctors... Say it's okay, everyone understands mom! wink, wink.

See how much she likes being humiliated in front of her whole family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would start calling my relatives who are going to attend. I would tell everyone that I will be skipping this years Christmas morning because Grandma is planning to humiliate my child in front of the whole family.

Then, I would invite everyone to meet somewhere in the middle - A 1.5 hour drive for you and them. Do not invite your mother.

Calling all the relatives acting like a 13 year old drama queen—that’s not embarrassing for op and her whole family. Matching immature behavior with even more immature behavior doesn’t help make the situation better.

Op, about how many people are going to be there? How many presents will be opened? Do you really think your son will take the wrong size as a hint to lose weight. You realize what the intention is but I sincerely doubt he would. If he does, make a joke, “uh oh grandma’s getting forgetful.” And move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another option is to go to the tree and remove any gift from Grandma. Hide them. When she goes nuts asking "WHERE her gifts are?" Just smile, and suggest she get a full work up at the doctors... Say it's okay, everyone understands mom! wink, wink.

See how much she likes being humiliated in front of her whole family.

If you really want to run with this, put the gifts somewhere ridiculous - BUT where they're likely to be found - like the freezer. Then everyone can get a really good laugh. When the gifts are opened it will be within the context of grandma is losing her marbles. If she makes a comment about your son's weight, it will be another crazy thing she did that day. She's going to be livid with her entire family nagging her about dementia. You can just smile.

Moral of the story: Do not mess with my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother was an ace at cruel gifts in front of family. And only for me — others got what they asked for. It was humiliating and I think she enjoyed it. She loved to poke fun at my trying to downplay it. (That it hurt my feelings) Was not a relationship building thing. In fact as an adult I dislike gifts.

Not OP. Just reading this made me incredibly sad that you experienced this. I'm so sorry. I hope you have found your stride in the world and realized your self worth. Hugs to you.

[Anonymous]

OP is your mother usually cruel and clueless?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And/or, I would tell her in a no-bull$hit, drop-dead tone that she had better not do this. Tell her if she humiliates him and makes him feel terrible about himself on Christmas, that will ruin her relationship with him, irreparably harm her relationship with you, and it will DEFINITELY be the last Christmas you spend with her for a long, long time.

This, +1000!!!

Honestly, this is what I would do too. One word about his weight, and next year’s Christmas is off the table. Her choice.

Agree. I am the type of person who is pretty deferential to my parents and I put family first. But in this case, you HAVE to protect your son even if it means upsetting mom. This is a cruel thing to do, it wouldn't work to serve her purpose anyway, and it can't be tolerated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Will your son necessarily know it’s due to weight? I feel like grandparents are often way off in their sizing. I remember my MIL gave my 3 year old daughter a 24 month dress. Later, she gave her 2 year old brother a size 4 sweater. We’re always getting stuff that’s way too big or way too small from relatives. The kids know to say “thanks! That’s my favorite color!” Or “I love polka dots!” Even if it’s totally the wrong size.

If Grandma's serious about doing this, something tells me she wouldn't have a problem clearly stating her reason for doing so in front of everyone.

Ditto. Your Mom sounds nuts. You better have your DS’s back. Outrageous!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would get her anti ageing wrinkle cream or a voucher for botox or incontinence pads and let her open it in front of the family.

Then she'll get the message.

Haha. Yes.

And then never return.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Way over thinking here. Do you really think your son will care?

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Yes. People do care even boys, even men.