Tween not invited by friends to trick or treat
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Anonymous
| We live out of bounds for the school my kid goes to. So to create friendships over the years I’ve arranged play dates, help start a club at school, and been really nice to all the parents. But we never get any play date invites in return. And now my 11 year old is devestated that her friends are going trick or treating in their neighborhood and talking about all the fun they will have, without thinking of inviting her. It hurts for all of us because we’ve always been the family offering things to her group of friends, and doing the inviting. And yet, they ignore us/her. Why is this? I know we don’t live in their neighborhood, but we aren’t that far away, and it just sucks how despite knowing these families for years, we are not thought of. They stay in their little clicks and don’t let anyone else in, no matter how hard we try. We even found out a group of them is going to an event together, and despite the people in that group being my child’s friends, no one let us know about it or invited us. It’s a very painful situation. Just venting. |
Anonymous
| We have that too. Its very disappointing. We reached out to a few people and got weird responses. |
Anonymous
| Maybe try other families outside your group. |
Anonymous
| So sorry to hear that. Why is your kid attending a school that you aren’t zoned for? Is this a pupil placement, AAP, or something else? |
Anonymous
|
My own tweens' trick or treating plans used to come together fairly last minute (like a day or two before). Maybe if your daughter mentions to her friends that she doesn't have plans to trick or treat with anyone they'll invite her over to their house?
I doubt that her friends are excluding her on purpose, it probably just hasn't dawned on them (or their parents) that your daughter has no one in her neighborhood to go trick or treating with. I'd tell your daughter to speak up. |
Anonymous
That’s a good idea. I’m going to tell her to let her friends know she wants to be a part of the fun. Thanks. |
Anonymous
| i'm sorry I know this is hard. |
Anonymous
We got in through the out of bounds lottery system. But we aren’t that far away from being in bounds. |
Anonymous
‘Thanks so much. I just feel a little sorry and kind of heartbroken for my daughter. She’s a really good kid just looking to have a good group of friends. |
Anonymous
Kind of good to know we aren’t the only ones. Thanks. |
Anonymous
| Immersion? Could there be other kids in the same boat? I agree with pp that communicating with her friends is best, but if that doesn’t work out, invite a classmate in the same situation to your neighborhood. |
Anonymous
| I’m sorry OP. Do you know the parents at all? I would probably reach out and ask if they would like to have kids trick or treat together, mentioning that you guys could come to their neighborhood. |
Anonymous
We have. But they always seem to be busy with other activities. I’m tired of asking all the time. I feel like just fading into oblivion. I’m just trying to help my daughter. But they don’t care. |
Anonymous
| I think a lot of people trick or treat in their neighborhood for convenience’s sake. I don’t think they mean to exclude, probably just assuming you have plans in your ‘hood. Why don’t you text one of the parents and say “Mind if we join you? Daughter would love to trick or treat with the other kids.” |
Anonymous
| Do the families have younger siblings? We always stick close to home because the younger ones don’t last very long and we all end up on our own porch giving out candy. I bet her friends’ families have rituals that revolve around their neighborhood and assume that your family does as well. It wouldn’t occur to me to invite a school friend not from our neighborhood over on Halloween. It’s nothing personal. |