DD’s friend suspended for drugs; Disinvite?

[Anonymous]

DD’s friend had weed in vape. That is not disputed. She may have charged other kids money to take hits off the vape. She was suspended for the rest of the school year and could be expelled. We’re shocked because the teen and family didn’t seem like the type, but there’s a lot of money and little supervision. DD has a party planned this summer. Should we tell DD to disinvite the friend? This is not a best friend.

[Anonymous]

If she’s not otherwise disruptive or rude, I think it’s devestating to be disinvited. It sounds like she’s dealing with actual consequences, which hopefully will lead to a modification in behavior, and no doubt her parents are keeping a very close eye on her. Let her come!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she’s not otherwise disruptive or rude, I think it’s devestating to be disinvited. It sounds like she’s dealing with actual consequences, which hopefully will lead to a modification in behavior, and no doubt her parents are keeping a very close eye on her. Let her come!

and if she's going to turn this around, she needs some friends who don't vape.

she can't harm your family at a party.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I would not make my kid disinvite. The girl is clearly facing plenty of sanctions. I would talk to my kid about this girl and what she did and let my kid know that some combination of the following needs to happen: 1) kid tells her friend "my mom is really freaked out about the charges, don't do anything like that at my party because we will both be in big trouble, 2) you talk to the friend and lay down the ground rules, 3) you keep an eye on what's happening at the party (a good idea in any case since it's not always the kid who gets caught who needs the most supervision-I was the kid who never got caught).

[Anonymous]

Why would you disinvite over a little weed? I can’t even wrap my head around that logic.

[Anonymous]

No that’s crazy and not compassionate. Good Kids can make poor choices.

[Anonymous]

I would disinvite. I don't want my kid hanging around anyone smoking weed at SCHOOL. If she got caught experimenting at home it might be different. And that she might have been charging other kids to try at school. No way would I let my kid invite that kid to a party at my house.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. As long as she's not smoking weed at your house, there's no problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you disinvite over a little weed? I can’t even wrap my head around that logic.

+1

[Anonymous]

I agree that the girl will need some non-drugging friends. We’re hoping for clues from her parents about what steps they will take to get her on a better path. Right now, they are focused on the suspension. That isn’t inspiring confidence that they take it seriously.

Even if our thinking was “It’s just a little weed.”, there are other parents in the friend group who told their teens to drop the girl. Partly because the girl’s parents appear to want to fight the suspension although there’s no doubt she possessed on school grounds. If she comes to DD’s party, at least 4 other girls might not. I’m worried this will label us soft on drugs. Maybe splinter DD off into a peer group of weed smokers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the girl will need some non-drugging friends. We’re hoping for clues from her parents about what steps they will take to get her on a better path. Right now, they are focused on the suspension. That isn’t inspiring confidence that they take it seriously.

Even if our thinking was “It’s just a little weed.”, there are other parents in the friend group who told their teens to drop the girl. Partly because the girl’s parents appear to want to fight the suspension although there’s no doubt she possessed on school grounds. If she comes to DD’s party, at least 4 other girls might not. I’m worried this will label us soft on drugs. Maybe splinter DD off into a peer group of weed smokers.

These people are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the girl will need some non-drugging friends. We’re hoping for clues from her parents about what steps they will take to get her on a better path. Right now, they are focused on the suspension. That isn’t inspiring confidence that they take it seriously.

Even if our thinking was “It’s just a little weed.”, there are other parents in the friend group who told their teens to drop the girl. Partly because the girl’s parents appear to want to fight the suspension although there’s no doubt she possessed on school grounds. If she comes to DD’s party, at least 4 other girls might not. I’m worried this will label us soft on drugs. Maybe splinter DD off into a peer group of weed smokers.

These people are ridiculous.

Agree. Kids make mistakes, and what the girl did was hardly egregious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that the girl will need some non-drugging friends. We’re hoping for clues from her parents about what steps they will take to get her on a better path. Right now, they are focused on the suspension. That isn’t inspiring confidence that they take it seriously.

Even if our thinking was “It’s just a little weed.”, there are other parents in the friend group who told their teens to drop the girl. Partly because the girl’s parents appear to want to fight the suspension although there’s no doubt she possessed on school grounds. If she comes to DD’s party, at least 4 other girls might not. I’m worried this will label us soft on drugs. Maybe splinter DD off into a peer group of weed smokers.

Please don't listen to the other posters, do not invite this girl. You want your kid to end up with the non-drug group when this group breaks up into two. You don't want to have to worry that this girl is bringing weed to the party. If it were my kid getting caught with weed at school and potentially selling, my kid wouldn't be attending any party in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Don’t disinvite. She won’t bring weed to your house gmafb

[Anonymous]

What kind of party is it? Maybe ask her parents to come as well.