What do you do when your adult child goes into therapy and lays blame at your feet.

[cepheus]

"I suspect that therapists cause more problems than they solve."

We need details to back up your statement. I do know that some therapists are cunning and spiteful and can pretend to be your friend just like someone
out on the street. I do know they've done a lot of damage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You apologize and listen. And listen. And apologize. And listen. And love. It’s not your turn to speak. Your kid doesn’t need your opinion or your advice. He needs you to listen and acknowledge his experience as he experienced it. It’s that simple.

But at what point are you done apologizing and listening? This whole thread is about gaslighting parents not taking accountability for their actions, but what about gaslighting adult kids? Kids that seem to forget every GOOD thing you ever did for them or really seem to incorrectly remember the past?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be aware that anyone can become a therapist. Anyone. The training and supervision for many therapists comes from other therapists who charge them for thousands of hours to reach certification. It's a money making business, for sure, and the supervision part is very lucrative. I know many therapists in the field that I am in- family therapists, relationship therapists, or children's therapists who actually don't have, and never had families of their own and have trouble staying in a relationship themselves. But they love being the judge in things they are insecure about to begin with, and are often quite unstable.

So, there's that.
And, all, I mean all mothers end up being labeled narcissists. It's a buzz word now, among other therapy speak adages.

Not everyone can become a licensed, independent practitioner, who can bill insurance companies and render diagnoses. Would you not check the credentials of a physician you go to? It’s no different.

The training comes with the education, which is provided by nationally-accredited training programs in various disciplines (psychology, social work, counseling, etc.). Supervision is part of training and licensure - again, the same as it is for physicians. You know a resident physician isn’t yet board-certified, right? Same thing as someone who, for example, completed their PhD in clinical psychology and is under the supervision of a licensed therapist until they can sit for licensure exams. If the postdoc is at a hospital, supervision is subsumed under that organization. You seem to be railing against supervision from private practitioners, which makes no sense if you ultimately want well-qualified psychotherapists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apologize and listen. And listen. And apologize. And listen. And love. It’s not your turn to speak. Your kid doesn’t need your opinion or your advice. He needs you to listen and acknowledge his experience as he experienced it. It’s that simple.

But at what point are you done apologizing and listening? This whole thread is about gaslighting parents not taking accountability for their actions, but what about gaslighting adult kids? Kids that seem to forget every GOOD thing you ever did for them or really seem to incorrectly remember the past?

Or literally make up a whole narrative that is entirely skewed, our of context or patently false in order to justify their own behavior?

No one calls out narcissistic adult kids! Somehow it seems if a person goes to a therapist and makes up a lof of nonsense, that alone justifies an apology.

Several of my friend's kids were involved in toxic marriages or relationships, one in a religious cult ish thing, and one with a substance abuse issue, and decided to bring up absolute fiction in order to become estranged from their parents and basically enjoy their allegiance to whatever they were involved in. One decided to have numerous affairs, and couldn't understand why her parents weren't supportive of her when her marriage ended.
2 situations, the toxic relationships ended, they needed their parents. It took a therapist to ask them to apologize.
The religious one? Still involved. Associates with no one outside.
Divorced AC, married again, still having affairs.
Substance abuse. You know what happened there, right? 35 year old atty no one actually knew was in that much trouble.

It's not always the parents' issues- it's not an assumed default. If you are going to suggest that the parents were at fault or these adult childrem wouldn't have gotten into these things, think again. Not even close.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apologize and listen. And listen. And apologize. And listen. And love. It’s not your turn to speak. Your kid doesn’t need your opinion or your advice. He needs you to listen and acknowledge his experience as he experienced it. It’s that simple.

But at what point are you done apologizing and listening? This whole thread is about gaslighting parents not taking accountability for their actions, but what about gaslighting adult kids? Kids that seem to forget every GOOD thing you ever did for them or really seem to incorrectly remember the past?

Or literally make up a whole narrative that is entirely skewed, our of context or patently false in order to justify their own behavior?

No one calls out narcissistic adult kids! Somehow it seems if a person goes to a therapist and makes up a lof of nonsense, that alone justifies an apology.

Several of my friend's kids were involved in toxic marriages or relationships, one in a religious cult ish thing, and one with a substance abuse issue, and decided to bring up absolute fiction in order to become estranged from their parents and basically enjoy their allegiance to whatever they were involved in. One decided to have numerous affairs, and couldn't understand why her parents weren't supportive of her when her marriage ended.
2 situations, the toxic relationships ended, they needed their parents. It took a therapist to ask them to apologize.
The religious one? Still involved. Associates with no one outside.
Divorced AC, married again, still having affairs.
Substance abuse. You know what happened there, right? 35 year old atty no one actually knew was in that much trouble.

It's not always the parents' issues- it's not an assumed default. If you are going to suggest that the parents were at fault or these adult childrem wouldn't have gotten into these things, think again. Not even close.

Yep. There can be toxicity on both sides. If you want a great example of a toxic kid, check out the Family Relationships forum where a kid is currently ranting about cutting off her parents because they
1. didn't get her a car until a senior year of high school,
2. refused to pay out-of-state tuition for college
3. refused to pay for junior year abroad, but did take her abroad
4. bought her a condo in Manhattan, but this was only to "control" her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be aware that anyone can become a therapist. Anyone. The training and supervision for many therapists comes from other therapists who charge them for thousands of hours to reach certification. It's a money making business, for sure, and the supervision part is very lucrative. I know many therapists in the field that I am in- family therapists, relationship therapists, or children's therapists who actually don't have, and never had families of their own and have trouble staying in a relationship themselves. But they love being the judge in things they are insecure about to begin with, and are often quite unstable.

So, there's that.
And, all, I mean all mothers end up being labeled narcissists. It's a buzz word now, among other therapy speak adages.

Not everyone can become a licensed, independent practitioner, who can bill insurance companies and render diagnoses. Would you not check the credentials of a physician you go to? It’s no different.

The training comes with the education, which is provided by nationally-accredited training programs in various disciplines (psychology, social work, counseling, etc.). Supervision is part of training and licensure - again, the same as it is for physicians. You know a resident physician isn’t yet board-certified, right? Same thing as someone who, for example, completed their PhD in clinical psychology and is under the supervision of a licensed therapist until they can sit for licensure exams. If the postdoc is at a hospital, supervision is subsumed under that organization. You seem to be railing against supervision from private practitioners, which makes no sense if you ultimately want well-qualified psychotherapists.

Are you seriously comparing a board certified medical dr to a therapist? Not the same at all. If I want to become a therapist, all I need is a master's degree in anything loosely related, and become supervised by someone I AM PAYING PRIVATELY to supervise me. How us that ethical? You are actually trying to tell people here that a physician goes through the same thing? No, a physician goes to medical school, and a residency - and is supervised all through by other physicians who are qualified. The wannabe dr isn't paying them privately thus increasing their income. The new dr is surrounded by numerous practioners in his residency, in a variety of situations, and is fully qualified after years of this and numerous exams. A therapist takes a test. A therapist probably wouldn't even qualify for medical school, or most clinical grad programd. A therapist doesn't even have to be smart!

Lastly, a physician can treat a patient even witg numerous personal problems, failed relationships, and zero parenting or marriage experience. He/She cab even be an as$#@!* with zero people skills and still be a brilliant clinician.

A therapist can be a therapist even though they really need a therapist more than they need to be one , and man, are they out there.

No, dear, not the same at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be aware that anyone can become a therapist. Anyone. The training and supervision for many therapists comes from other therapists who charge them for thousands of hours to reach certification. It's a money making business, for sure, and the supervision part is very lucrative. I know many therapists in the field that I am in- family therapists, relationship therapists, or children's therapists who actually don't have, and never had families of their own and have trouble staying in a relationship themselves. But they love being the judge in things they are insecure about to begin with, and are often quite unstable.

So, there's that.
And, all, I mean all mothers end up being labeled narcissists. It's a buzz word now, among other therapy speak adages.

Not everyone can become a licensed, independent practitioner, who can bill insurance companies and render diagnoses. Would you not check the credentials of a physician you go to? It’s no different.

The training comes with the education, which is provided by nationally-accredited training programs in various disciplines (psychology, social work, counseling, etc.). Supervision is part of training and licensure - again, the same as it is for physicians. You know a resident physician isn’t yet board-certified, right? Same thing as someone who, for example, completed their PhD in clinical psychology and is under the supervision of a licensed therapist until they can sit for licensure exams. If the postdoc is at a hospital, supervision is subsumed under that organization. You seem to be railing against supervision from private practitioners, which makes no sense if you ultimately want well-qualified psychotherapists.

Are you seriously comparing a board certified medical dr to a therapist? Not the same at all. If I want to become a therapist, all I need is a master's degree in anything loosely related, and become supervised by someone I AM PAYING PRIVATELY to supervise me. How us that ethical? You are actually trying to tell people here that a physician goes through the same thing? No, a physician goes to medical school, and a residency - and is supervised all through by other physicians who are qualified. The wannabe dr isn't paying them privately thus increasing their income. The new dr is surrounded by numerous practioners in his residency, in a variety of situations, and is fully qualified after years of this and numerous exams. A therapist takes a test. A therapist probably wouldn't even qualify for medical school, or most clinical grad programd. A therapist doesn't even have to be smart!

Lastly, a physician can treat a patient even witg numerous personal problems, failed relationships, and zero parenting or marriage experience. He/She cab even be an as$#@!* with zero people skills and still be a brilliant clinician.

A therapist can be a therapist even though they really need a therapist more than they need to be one , and man, are they out there.

No, dear, not the same at all.

You should try knowing what you’re talking about before you patronize people. You’re staggeringly ignorant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be aware that anyone can become a therapist. Anyone. The training and supervision for many therapists comes from other therapists who charge them for thousands of hours to reach certification. It's a money making business, for sure, and the supervision part is very lucrative. I know many therapists in the field that I am in- family therapists, relationship therapists, or children's therapists who actually don't have, and never had families of their own and have trouble staying in a relationship themselves. But they love being the judge in things they are insecure about to begin with, and are often quite unstable.

So, there's that.
And, all, I mean all mothers end up being labeled narcissists. It's a buzz word now, among other therapy speak adages.

Not everyone can become a licensed, independent practitioner, who can bill insurance companies and render diagnoses. Would you not check the credentials of a physician you go to? It’s no different.

The training comes with the education, which is provided by nationally-accredited training programs in various disciplines (psychology, social work, counseling, etc.). Supervision is part of training and licensure - again, the same as it is for physicians. You know a resident physician isn’t yet board-certified, right? Same thing as someone who, for example, completed their PhD in clinical psychology and is under the supervision of a licensed therapist until they can sit for licensure exams. If the postdoc is at a hospital, supervision is subsumed under that organization. You seem to be railing against supervision from private practitioners, which makes no sense if you ultimately want well-qualified psychotherapists.

Are you seriously comparing a board certified medical dr to a therapist? Not the same at all. If I want to become a therapist, all I need is a master's degree in anything loosely related, and become supervised by someone I AM PAYING PRIVATELY to supervise me. How us that ethical? You are actually trying to tell people here that a physician goes through the same thing? No, a physician goes to medical school, and a residency - and is supervised all through by other physicians who are qualified. The wannabe dr isn't paying them privately thus increasing their income. The new dr is surrounded by numerous practioners in his residency, in a variety of situations, and is fully qualified after years of this and numerous exams. A therapist takes a test. A therapist probably wouldn't even qualify for medical school, or most clinical grad programd. A therapist doesn't even have to be smart!

Lastly, a physician can treat a patient even witg numerous personal problems, failed relationships, and zero parenting or marriage experience. He/She cab even be an as$#@!* with zero people skills and still be a brilliant clinician.

A therapist can be a therapist even though they really need a therapist more than they need to be one , and man, are they out there.

No, dear, not the same at all.

You should try knowing what you’re talking about before you patronize people. You’re staggeringly ignorant.

And yet you don't indicate why, because you cannot. These are the exact qualifications for many many LPCs. You know this.

Secondly, there are so many licensed psychologists, with higher credentialing but serious flawed judgement. Who is supervising them? No one. Please don't ever compare this field or this profession to a physician, not even a dentist. Not even a physical therapist. Just don't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be aware that anyone can become a therapist. Anyone. The training and supervision for many therapists comes from other therapists who charge them for thousands of hours to reach certification. It's a money making business, for sure, and the supervision part is very lucrative. I know many therapists in the field that I am in- family therapists, relationship therapists, or children's therapists who actually don't have, and never had families of their own and have trouble staying in a relationship themselves. But they love being the judge in things they are insecure about to begin with, and are often quite unstable.

So, there's that.
And, all, I mean all mothers end up being labeled narcissists. It's a buzz word now, among other therapy speak adages.

Not everyone can become a licensed, independent practitioner, who can bill insurance companies and render diagnoses. Would you not check the credentials of a physician you go to? It’s no different.

The training comes with the education, which is provided by nationally-accredited training programs in various disciplines (psychology, social work, counseling, etc.). Supervision is part of training and licensure - again, the same as it is for physicians. You know a resident physician isn’t yet board-certified, right? Same thing as someone who, for example, completed their PhD in clinical psychology and is under the supervision of a licensed therapist until they can sit for licensure exams. If the postdoc is at a hospital, supervision is subsumed under that organization. You seem to be railing against supervision from private practitioners, which makes no sense if you ultimately want well-qualified psychotherapists.

Are you seriously comparing a board certified medical dr to a therapist? Not the same at all. If I want to become a therapist, all I need is a master's degree in anything loosely related, and become supervised by someone I AM PAYING PRIVATELY to supervise me. How us that ethical? You are actually trying to tell people here that a physician goes through the same thing? No, a physician goes to medical school, and a residency - and is supervised all through by other physicians who are qualified. The wannabe dr isn't paying them privately thus increasing their income. The new dr is surrounded by numerous practioners in his residency, in a variety of situations, and is fully qualified after years of this and numerous exams. A therapist takes a test. A therapist probably wouldn't even qualify for medical school, or most clinical grad programd. A therapist doesn't even have to be smart!

Lastly, a physician can treat a patient even witg numerous personal problems, failed relationships, and zero parenting or marriage experience. He/She cab even be an as$#@!* with zero people skills and still be a brilliant clinician.

A therapist can be a therapist even though they really need a therapist more than they need to be one , and man, are they out there.

No, dear, not the same at all.

You should try knowing what you’re talking about before you patronize people. You’re staggeringly ignorant.

And yet you don't indicate why, because you cannot. These are the exact qualifications for many many LPCs. You know this.

Secondly, there are so many licensed psychologists, with higher credentialing but serious flawed judgement. Who is supervising them? No one. Please don't ever compare this field or this profession to a physician, not even a dentist. Not even a physical therapist. Just don't.

I’m replying solely for the sake of any curious people who actually do want this information.

People with masters degrees in counseling or social work need to attend accredited programs. They need to complete required coursework and supervised clinical training. They need to complete more supervised clinical training once they attain their degrees, sit for any necessary tests, and only then are independently licensed. Counselors (LPC, LCPC, depending on the state) typically have more restricted licenses than do social workers. A better analogue in the medical world is an RN or APN, not a physician. They have ongoing continuing education requirements to maintain licensure.

To become licensed as a psychologist, one needs to attend a doctoral program in clinical or counseling psychology. These can be PhDs, PsyDs, or EdDs (less common). These programs need to meet specific accreditation standards set by the American Psychological Association; states have their own requirements, as well. Doctoral programs typically take 5-6 years to complete and culminate in a one year, full time clinical internship. The internship interview and matching process is the same that medical students go through for residency matching (match day and everything). Once the internship is completed, still more supervised clinical work is required before sitting for national and local tests. They also have continuing education requirements to maintain licensure.
Fun fact: it’s significantly harder to get into a clinical psych PhD program than it is to get into medical school! Good times.

There are unethical, incompetent healthcare professionals in every.single.discipline. Every one. It’s on individuals to check the background and credentials of any healthcare provider they see. If someone is not who they claim to be, move on.

Your hostility towards psychotherapists, PP, is solely about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apologize and listen. And listen. And apologize. And listen. And love. It’s not your turn to speak. Your kid doesn’t need your opinion or your advice. He needs you to listen and acknowledge his experience as he experienced it. It’s that simple.

But at what point are you done apologizing and listening? This whole thread is about gaslighting parents not taking accountability for their actions, but what about gaslighting adult kids? Kids that seem to forget every GOOD thing you ever did for them or really seem to incorrectly remember the past?

Or literally make up a whole narrative that is entirely skewed, our of context or patently false in order to justify their own behavior?

No one calls out narcissistic adult kids! Somehow it seems if a person goes to a therapist and makes up a lof of nonsense, that alone justifies an apology.

Several of my friend's kids were involved in toxic marriages or relationships, one in a religious cult ish thing, and one with a substance abuse issue, and decided to bring up absolute fiction in order to become estranged from their parents and basically enjoy their allegiance to whatever they were involved in. One decided to have numerous affairs, and couldn't understand why her parents weren't supportive of her when her marriage ended.
2 situations, the toxic relationships ended, they needed their parents. It took a therapist to ask them to apologize.
The religious one? Still involved. Associates with no one outside.
Divorced AC, married again, still having affairs.
Substance abuse. You know what happened there, right? 35 year old atty no one actually knew was in that much trouble.

It's not always the parents' issues- it's not an assumed default. If you are going to suggest that the parents were at fault or these adult childrem wouldn't have gotten into these things, think again. Not even close.

Yep. There can be toxicity on both sides. If you want a great example of a toxic kid, check out the Family Relationships forum where a kid is currently ranting about cutting off her parents because they
1. didn't get her a car until a senior year of high school,
2. refused to pay out-of-state tuition for college
3. refused to pay for junior year abroad, but did take her abroad
4. bought her a condo in Manhattan, but this was only to "control" her

Nope. You’re twisting the story. First off, I haven’t cut off my parents. But I do have issues with the fact I wasn’t allowed to find my own job and pay for a car and I was upset I couldn’t apply to OOS schools and take out loans. HUGE difference from what you describe above.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apologize and listen. And listen. And apologize. And listen. And love. It’s not your turn to speak. Your kid doesn’t need your opinion or your advice. He needs you to listen and acknowledge his experience as he experienced it. It’s that simple.

But at what point are you done apologizing and listening? This whole thread is about gaslighting parents not taking accountability for their actions, but what about gaslighting adult kids? Kids that seem to forget every GOOD thing you ever did for them or really seem to incorrectly remember the past?

Or literally make up a whole narrative that is entirely skewed, our of context or patently false in order to justify their own behavior?

No one calls out narcissistic adult kids! Somehow it seems if a person goes to a therapist and makes up a lof of nonsense, that alone justifies an apology.

Several of my friend's kids were involved in toxic marriages or relationships, one in a religious cult ish thing, and one with a substance abuse issue, and decided to bring up absolute fiction in order to become estranged from their parents and basically enjoy their allegiance to whatever they were involved in. One decided to have numerous affairs, and couldn't understand why her parents weren't supportive of her when her marriage ended.
2 situations, the toxic relationships ended, they needed their parents. It took a therapist to ask them to apologize.
The religious one? Still involved. Associates with no one outside.
Divorced AC, married again, still having affairs.
Substance abuse. You know what happened there, right? 35 year old atty no one actually knew was in that much trouble.

It's not always the parents' issues- it's not an assumed default. If you are going to suggest that the parents were at fault or these adult childrem wouldn't have gotten into these things, think again. Not even close.

Yep. There can be toxicity on both sides. If you want a great example of a toxic kid, check out the Family Relationships forum where a kid is currently ranting about cutting off her parents because they
1. didn't get her a car until a senior year of high school,
2. refused to pay out-of-state tuition for college
3. refused to pay for junior year abroad, but did take her abroad
4. bought her a condo in Manhattan, but this was only to "control" her

Nope. You’re twisting the story. First off, I haven’t cut off my parents. But I do have issues with the fact I wasn’t allowed to find my own job and pay for a car and I was upset I couldn’t apply to OOS schools and take out loans. HUGE difference from what you describe above.

You're actually upset your parents didn't allow you to take out massive loans to attend college out of state?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be aware that anyone can become a therapist. Anyone. The training and supervision for many therapists comes from other therapists who charge them for thousands of hours to reach certification. It's a money making business, for sure, and the supervision part is very lucrative. I know many therapists in the field that I am in- family therapists, relationship therapists, or children's therapists who actually don't have, and never had families of their own and have trouble staying in a relationship themselves. But they love being the judge in things they are insecure about to begin with, and are often quite unstable.

So, there's that.
And, all, I mean all mothers end up being labeled narcissists. It's a buzz word now, among other therapy speak adages.

Not everyone can become a licensed, independent practitioner, who can bill insurance companies and render diagnoses. Would you not check the credentials of a physician you go to? It’s no different.

The training comes with the education, which is provided by nationally-accredited training programs in various disciplines (psychology, social work, counseling, etc.). Supervision is part of training and licensure - again, the same as it is for physicians. You know a resident physician isn’t yet board-certified, right? Same thing as someone who, for example, completed their PhD in clinical psychology and is under the supervision of a licensed therapist until they can sit for licensure exams. If the postdoc is at a hospital, supervision is subsumed under that organization. You seem to be railing against supervision from private practitioners, which makes no sense if you ultimately want well-qualified psychotherapists.

Are you seriously comparing a board certified medical dr to a therapist? Not the same at all. If I want to become a therapist, all I need is a master's degree in anything loosely related, and become supervised by someone I AM PAYING PRIVATELY to supervise me. How us that ethical? You are actually trying to tell people here that a physician goes through the same thing? No, a physician goes to medical school, and a residency - and is supervised all through by other physicians who are qualified. The wannabe dr isn't paying them privately thus increasing their income. The new dr is surrounded by numerous practioners in his residency, in a variety of situations, and is fully qualified after years of this and numerous exams. A therapist takes a test. A therapist probably wouldn't even qualify for medical school, or most clinical grad programd. A therapist doesn't even have to be smart!

Lastly, a physician can treat a patient even witg numerous personal problems, failed relationships, and zero parenting or marriage experience. He/She cab even be an as$#@!* with zero people skills and still be a brilliant clinician.

A therapist can be a therapist even though they really need a therapist more than they need to be one , and man, are they out there.

No, dear, not the same at all.

You should try knowing what you’re talking about before you patronize people. You’re staggeringly ignorant.

And yet you don't indicate why, because you cannot. These are the exact qualifications for many many LPCs. You know this.

Secondly, there are so many licensed psychologists, with higher credentialing but serious flawed judgement. Who is supervising them? No one. Please don't ever compare this field or this profession to a physician, not even a dentist. Not even a physical therapist. Just don't.

I’m replying solely for the sake of any curious people who actually do want this information.

People with masters degrees in counseling or social work need to attend accredited programs. They need to complete required coursework and supervised clinical training. They need to complete more supervised clinical training once they attain their degrees, sit for any necessary tests, and only then are independently licensed. Counselors (LPC, LCPC, depending on the state) typically have more restricted licenses than do social workers. A better analogue in the medical world is an RN or APN, not a physician. They have ongoing continuing education requirements to maintain licensure.

To become licensed as a psychologist, one needs to attend a doctoral program in clinical or counseling psychology. These can be PhDs, PsyDs, or EdDs (less common). These programs need to meet specific accreditation standards set by the American Psychological Association; states have their own requirements, as well. Doctoral programs typically take 5-6 years to complete and culminate in a one year, full time clinical internship. The internship interview and matching process is the same that medical students go through for residency matching (match day and everything). Once the internship is completed, still more supervised clinical work is required before sitting for national and local tests. They also have continuing education requirements to maintain licensure.
Fun fact: it’s significantly harder to get into a clinical psych PhD program than it is to get into medical school! Good times.

There are unethical, incompetent healthcare professionals in every.single.discipline. Every one. It’s on individuals to check the background and credentials of any healthcare provider they see. If someone is not who they claim to be, move on.

Your hostility towards psychotherapists, PP, is solely about you.

I know many LPCs that literally have a masters in counseling, guidance counseling, or humanities. No, they didn't have to do any of that which you insist is protocol. They paid a superviser, another LPC, for supervision, and, yes, took A test. Not tests. Nothing else.

I'm talking about LPCs.

But, moving on, I'm in a field that uses and interacts with a lot of licensed psychologists, PsyDs, etc. I'm here to say there is NO, NONE, NADA, supervision beyond getting that license and it's only if someone complains. It's a very unregulated field. I won't waste time here with horror stories, but I do know you know what I am saying is true. Now, can we talk about the recent presence on social media? Some of that isn't a good look, and frankly, is pretty sketchy with confidentiality.

This isn't a me problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apologize and listen. And listen. And apologize. And listen. And love. It’s not your turn to speak. Your kid doesn’t need your opinion or your advice. He needs you to listen and acknowledge his experience as he experienced it. It’s that simple.

But at what point are you done apologizing and listening? This whole thread is about gaslighting parents not taking accountability for their actions, but what about gaslighting adult kids? Kids that seem to forget every GOOD thing you ever did for them or really seem to incorrectly remember the past?

Or literally make up a whole narrative that is entirely skewed, our of context or patently false in order to justify their own behavior?

No one calls out narcissistic adult kids! Somehow it seems if a person goes to a therapist and makes up a lof of nonsense, that alone justifies an apology.

Several of my friend's kids were involved in toxic marriages or relationships, one in a religious cult ish thing, and one with a substance abuse issue, and decided to bring up absolute fiction in order to become estranged from their parents and basically enjoy their allegiance to whatever they were involved in. One decided to have numerous affairs, and couldn't understand why her parents weren't supportive of her when her marriage ended.
2 situations, the toxic relationships ended, they needed their parents. It took a therapist to ask them to apologize.
The religious one? Still involved. Associates with no one outside.
Divorced AC, married again, still having affairs.
Substance abuse. You know what happened there, right? 35 year old atty no one actually knew was in that much trouble.

It's not always the parents' issues- it's not an assumed default. If you are going to suggest that the parents were at fault or these adult childrem wouldn't have gotten into these things, think again. Not even close.

Yep. There can be toxicity on both sides. If you want a great example of a toxic kid, check out the Family Relationships forum where a kid is currently ranting about cutting off her parents because they
1. didn't get her a car until a senior year of high school,
2. refused to pay out-of-state tuition for college
3. refused to pay for junior year abroad, but did take her abroad
4. bought her a condo in Manhattan, but this was only to "control" her

Nope. You’re twisting the story. First off, I haven’t cut off my parents. But I do have issues with the fact I wasn’t allowed to find my own job and pay for a car and I was upset I couldn’t apply to OOS schools and take out loans. HUGE difference from what you describe above.

What is with your generation and control issues? I don't remember ever hearing about children complaining about parents controlling them. It was understood they would have opinions and would try to steer you as a parent. You might say your parents were outdated and didn't understand you but today's kids all want freedom like all the time. This wasn't a thing back in the day to this extent. At least not for women.

[Anonymous]

Does it come from some relationship with technology? Computers will control us or something? It's a really odd flex to me. It was understood that parents controlled their kids and that was a good thing and expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You apologize and listen. And listen. And apologize. And listen. And love. It’s not your turn to speak. Your kid doesn’t need your opinion or your advice. He needs you to listen and acknowledge his experience as he experienced it. It’s that simple.

But at what point are you done apologizing and listening? This whole thread is about gaslighting parents not taking accountability for their actions, but what about gaslighting adult kids? Kids that seem to forget every GOOD thing you ever did for them or really seem to incorrectly remember the past?

Or literally make up a whole narrative that is entirely skewed, our of context or patently false in order to justify their own behavior?

No one calls out narcissistic adult kids! Somehow it seems if a person goes to a therapist and makes up a lof of nonsense, that alone justifies an apology.

Several of my friend's kids were involved in toxic marriages or relationships, one in a religious cult ish thing, and one with a substance abuse issue, and decided to bring up absolute fiction in order to become estranged from their parents and basically enjoy their allegiance to whatever they were involved in. One decided to have numerous affairs, and couldn't understand why her parents weren't supportive of her when her marriage ended.
2 situations, the toxic relationships ended, they needed their parents. It took a therapist to ask them to apologize.
The religious one? Still involved. Associates with no one outside.
Divorced AC, married again, still having affairs.
Substance abuse. You know what happened there, right? 35 year old atty no one actually knew was in that much trouble.

It's not always the parents' issues- it's not an assumed default. If you are going to suggest that the parents were at fault or these adult childrem wouldn't have gotten into these things, think again. Not even close.

Yep. There can be toxicity on both sides. If you want a great example of a toxic kid, check out the Family Relationships forum where a kid is currently ranting about cutting off her parents because they
1. didn't get her a car until a senior year of high school,
2. refused to pay out-of-state tuition for college
3. refused to pay for junior year abroad, but did take her abroad
4. bought her a condo in Manhattan, but this was only to "control" her

Nope. You’re twisting the story. First off, I haven’t cut off my parents. But I do have issues with the fact I wasn’t allowed to find my own job and pay for a car and I was upset I couldn’t apply to OOS schools and take out loans. HUGE difference from what you describe above.

What is with your generation and control issues? I don't remember ever hearing about children complaining about parents controlling them. It was understood they would have opinions and would try to steer you as a parent. You might say your parents were outdated and didn't understand you but today's kids all want freedom like all the time. This wasn't a thing back in the day to this extent. At least not for women.

LOL whaaaat??? Only the new generation complains about controlling parents? Are you five?