Frustrated with preferential treatment

[Anonymous]

Its our 2nd year in a "top rated" school district since we moved from LCPS to FCPS and totally frustrated with preferential treatment some parents/students get. Looks like some parents know how to work their way up in schools by sucking up to the PTA/teachers - obviously to ensure their kids get preferential treatment and better grades. Is this the norm here? Year after year, its the same set of students that moves into the limited clubs, which are filled by so called lottery systems. Room parent assignments are taken up by the same parents ones who are on "good terms" with the PTA and teachers, never giving anyone new a chance, and ensuring their are the room parent for each class their child transitions into. Has anyone else faced this?

[Anonymous]

How do you know which kids are getting what grades?

[Anonymous]

Usually by 3rd or 4th grade, the schools have a harder time filling room parent positions.

I frankly did not want to do the organizing, but loved helping at parties, so I would volunteer/show up the day of. They were always happy to have an extra set of hands for the parties.

With one of my kids I was always picked for field trip chaperone. He was kind of, um, energetic in the younger grades. That is a good way to get asked to chaperone...have the wild child.

As far as clubs go, our school does online registration. I have very little to do with the PTA but would always sign up as soon as the email came out. It might have looked like I was getting preferential treatment, but after being shut out a couple of times, I learned to move quickly.

[Anonymous]

Can you give an example of school clubs that are by lottery? Our school doesn’t do it this way so I don’t quite get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually by 3rd or 4th grade, the schools have a harder time filling room parent positions.

I frankly did not want to do the organizing, but loved helping at parties, so I would volunteer/show up the day of. They were always happy to have an extra set of hands for the parties.

With one of my kids I was always picked for field trip chaperone. He was kind of, um, energetic in the younger grades. That is a good way to get asked to chaperone...have the wild child.

As far as clubs go, our school does online registration. I have very little to do with the PTA but would always sign up as soon as the email came out. It might have looked like I was getting preferential treatment, but after being shut out a couple of times, I learned to move quickly.

And I never got picked to chaperone my daughter's field trips. She was your basic well behaved, responsible student.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you give an example of school clubs that are by lottery? Our school doesn’t do it this way so I don’t quite get it.

I bet it is something like science olympiad where the parents run each event. I bet the parents of kids who were involved in past years get first dibs as they are essentially the coaches and have run the team in past years.

[Anonymous]

This is a very serious accusations about grades, and I suspect you have nothing to back it up, OP. If you have, you take it straight to the Superintendant ASAP.

If you have a complaint about the PTA, speak up and complain directly to the PTA President, the Principal and on the listserve. As a PTA board member in an MCPS school, I would squash any attempt by my colleagues to distribute favors or play favorites. We are here for ALL students, not our own kids or friends' kids.

Let me tell you what I see most often: a new school parent reads on DCUM how PTAs are a bunch of cliquey stay-at-home mothers (our PTA is mostly made up of working parents of which a good number are fathers), or hears a few random and not always justified complaints at their school about not being able to access information or volunteer for jobs (usually because of poor communication on ALL sides), then it snowballs in their mind that the PTA is this GODAWFUL parasitic growth. You know what I do with these complainers? I put them in charge of something. They are free to reinvent the wheel and save the world.

You may have a legitimate complaint. By all means bring it to the relevant people's attention! They can't read your mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a very serious accusations about grades, and I suspect you have nothing to back it up, OP. If you have, you take it straight to the Superintendant ASAP.

If you have a complaint about the PTA, speak up and complain directly to the PTA President, the Principal and on the listserve. As a PTA board member in an MCPS school, I would squash any attempt by my colleagues to distribute favors or play favorites. We are here for ALL students, not our own kids or friends' kids.

Let me tell you what I see most often: a new school parent reads on DCUM how PTAs are a bunch of cliquey stay-at-home mothers (our PTA is mostly made up of working parents of which a good number are fathers), or hears a few random and not always justified complaints at their school about not being able to access information or volunteer for jobs (usually because of poor communication on ALL sides), then it snowballs in their mind that the PTA is this GODAWFUL parasitic growth. You know what I do with these complainers? I put them in charge of something. They are free to reinvent the wheel and save the world.

You may have a legitimate complaint. By all means bring it to the relevant people's attention! They can't read your mind.

Love this post!

[Anonymous]

OP here. To give an example last year I was the first parent to fill in the sheet for a Room parent position (while signing up you see how many slots of each position are available and filled). After waiting for any intimation/email and not receiving anything back from the teacher, got to know from my DD that another parent was already made the room parent. This individual signed up after I did, but apparently is always the room parent in all her kids classes. I would definitely consider this preferential treatment. How is it not so? What are the odds the same parent gets to be the room parent for all of her kids' classes - all 3 classes, year after year.

[Anonymous]

NP here. Happened to me this year as well. I signed up for the Room Parent position. Position was assigned to a parent who happens to be a room parent in both her kids' classes and happens to know the PTA president quite well.

[Anonymous]

I know at our school it’s hard to find anyone to be room parent. What did you two pp’s do then? It seems like you could email the teacher and say that you’d like to help with parties, etc., and I can’t imagine any volunteer in her right mind would turn you away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know at our school it’s hard to find anyone to be room parent. What did you two pp’s do then? It seems like you could email the teacher and say that you’d like to help with parties, etc., and I can’t imagine any volunteer in her right mind would turn you away.

2nd NP here.I did ask the teacher but she said she was good and needed no help for now

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To give an example last year I was the first parent to fill in the sheet for a Room parent position (while signing up you see how many slots of each position are available and filled). After waiting for any intimation/email and not receiving anything back from the teacher, got to know from my DD that another parent was already made the room parent. This individual signed up after I did, but apparently is always the room parent in all her kids classes. I would definitely consider this preferential treatment. How is it not so? What are the odds the same parent gets to be the room parent for all of her kids' classes - all 3 classes, year after year.

The teacher may have picked her because she’s known for being a reliable room parent whereas you are an unknown quantity. I get your frustration, but I can’t blame a teacher for making the choice that’s less of a risk for headaches later.

[Anonymous]

I have been room parent because no one else would do it. Its not as great as you think it is. But, offer and say you'd like to do it.

[Anonymous]

I think the room parent is selected based on how well they can help the teacher and students. It's not supposed to be something where everyone gets a turn. If someone is known for being good at it, I wouldn't blame teachers for selecting that person. At schools that tend to have a lot of volunteers, some room parents can be more of an annoyance than anything else.