Frustrated with preferential treatment

[Anonymous]

Why are you so desperate to be a room parent, OP? I am SURE there is other volunteer work that is needed.

If you volunteer to be the parent that supervises/organizes the afterschool club, youe child will get a spot.

[Anonymous]

Everyone faces this. It’s how many things in life work. I’m not saying it’s right but it’s always been this way everywhere.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you were in the “in crowd” you’d be happy with the system. That’s life.

[Anonymous]

You’ve only been in the system for 2 years. Some of the parents have been there for many years with multiple children. If they are doing a good job, then I can see why the teachers would pick them. They are known and less risk.

You are new and they don’t know you yet. You need to do some networking if you want to get in...being the first one to sign up means nothing.

[Anonymous]

In our school I see this with teacher assignments. Each year the principal says list the characteristics of the type of teacher your child would do best with. She goes on to say no specific teacher requests will be honored. Every year I know parents who tell m they make specific requests and when class lists come out, their child is in the class. I follow the rules and list traits, and invariably the teacher my kid is assigned to doesn't have those traits and is the teacher no one wants. I used to volunteer at the school quite a bit, but not for activities that gave me face time with the principal. I have another child in a higher grade so I've just decided to focus my time volunteering at that school. I wouldn't mind if there really is assignments based on spreading different kids across classes, etc., but don't say specific requests won't be honored and then honor them for those parents you happen to know well. As far as better grades, that would be really surprising for a teacher to risk their professional integrity in that way.

[Anonymous]

Why would someone be so sad about not getting to be the room parent? WHat is so desirable about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would someone be so sad about not getting to be the room parent? WHat is so desirable about that?

Maybe OP wants her child to get the preferential treatment that the other kids get.

[Anonymous]

OP, you've been the school for a year now. If you want to be known as a reliable volunteer that people will pick for the "good" roles, perhaps try volunteering for something important but less "fun" where the PTA struggles to get volunteers. Do it well and you'll also start to be known for being a dependable volunteer people want to choose for room parent or something.

[Anonymous]

Just keep volunteering and coming to stuff at the school. There’s a lot of turnover and people moving in and out around here. The “top parents” might have to move overseas or across the country and then you’ll be there to pick up the pieces.

[Anonymous]

OP, you mentioned in your first post that some parents know how to work their way up. That’s true and you need to learn how to work your way up. You can’t just arrive and think you at “in”. Learn the system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you mentioned in your first post that some parents know how to work their way up. That’s true and you need to learn how to work your way up. You can’t just arrive and think you at “in”. Learn the system.

DP. Why does she need to work her "way up" to room parent? There's a sign up sheet and the parent who signs up first should be assigned room parent. If the teacher prefers a known quantity, then have co-room parents, don't assume a new parent won't be up to the job and dismiss them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you mentioned in your first post that some parents know how to work their way up. That’s true and you need to learn how to work your way up. You can’t just arrive and think you at “in”. Learn the system.

DP. Why does she need to work her "way up" to room parent? There's a sign up sheet and the parent who signs up first should be assigned room parent. If the teacher prefers a known quantity, then have co-room parents, don't assume a new parent won't be up to the job and dismiss them.

Because we are not kindergartners who all get a turn to be line leader. A teacher shouldn't have to jump through extra hoops to soothe a parent's ego.

[Anonymous]

Good grief. I was always super relieved when someone stepped forward to be room mom. Didn't know it was a contest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you mentioned in your first post that some parents know how to work their way up. That’s true and you need to learn how to work your way up. You can’t just arrive and think you at “in”. Learn the system.

DP. Why does she need to work her "way up" to room parent? There's a sign up sheet and the parent who signs up first should be assigned room parent. If the teacher prefers a known quantity, then have co-room parents, don't assume a new parent won't be up to the job and dismiss them.

Obviously teachers have enough crap to deal with. It’s just easier and makes the most sense to work with parents that you already know will do a good job. Let the teachers deal with the bratty entitled kids, not the parents.

[Anonymous]

Np here.

I also signed upfirst to be a room parent for my child’s class. There were three spaces for volunteers for this job. I agree that just because I signed up first that I should not automatically be asigned. WHat does upset me is that I didn’t even get an email thanking me for at least signing up for quite a large commitment and that she ultimately chose someone else. That would have been the polite thing to do.

With that said, I had 12 reams of color cardstock that I orders on sale over the summer that i was going to donate to her. With no acknowledgement, I ended up giving it all to my daughter’s teacher from last year.

And no I am not buying my way for my daughter. She makes straight As and is praised for her behavior in class. She is responsible for her own accolades.