Frustrated with preferential treatment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Np here.

I also signed upfirst to be a room parent for my child’s class. There were three spaces for volunteers for this job. I agree that just because I signed up first that I should not automatically be asigned. WHat does upset me is that I didn’t even get an email thanking me for at least signing up for quite a large commitment and that she ultimately chose someone else. That would have been the polite thing to do.

With that said, I had 12 reams of color cardstock that I orders on sale over the summer that i was going to donate to her. With no acknowledgement, I ended up giving it all to my daughter’s teacher from last year.

And no I am not buying my way for my daughter. She makes straight As and is praised for her behavior in class. She is responsible for her own accolades.

You withheld a donation to the classroom because you're all butthurt that the teacher didn't email you to say thank you in the first two or three weeks of the school year when teachers are swamped with all kinds of other beginning-of-year stuff? That's petty and the teacher probably dodged a bullet by not picking you, even without the cardstock.

[Anonymous]

^^^ If she cant give me three minutes of her time, why should I give her $200 of mine? I agree it’s probably a bit petty but oh well. I wanted it to go to someone who appreciated it.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who is this upset about not getting picked for room parent really needs to rethink why they're volunteering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^ If she cant give me three minutes of her time, why should I give her $200 of mine? I agree it’s probably a bit petty but oh well. I wanted it to go to someone who appreciated it.

You sure sound like you're trying to buy your kid's way through school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ If she cant give me three minutes of her time, why should I give her $200 of mine? I agree it’s probably a bit petty but oh well. I wanted it to go to someone who appreciated it.

You sure sound like you're trying to buy your kid's way through school.

I am not trying to buy her way. But her way into what? She makes her own grades. This is the first year I was available to sign up for something like this and thought it would have been nice of the teacher to acknowledge those who set out for a large commitment.

I gave it to her teacher last year. How exactly is that buying my kids way?

[Anonymous]

We just started at a well regarded school. I was able to become a room parent in both my children’s classes. One of the kids in my kid’s class is like the head of all room Parents but she let me and another mom be the room parent for our class. Yes, some people seem to know each other well and kind of cliquey but there were other new parents and several parents welcomed me.

I was very active at my old school. We always struggled for volunteers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you mentioned in your first post that some parents know how to work their way up. That’s true and you need to learn how to work your way up. You can’t just arrive and think you at “in”. Learn the system.

DP. Why does she need to work her "way up" to room parent? There's a sign up sheet and the parent who signs up first should be assigned room parent. If the teacher prefers a known quantity, then have co-room parents, don't assume a new parent won't be up to the job and dismiss them.

This sums it up. Who is to judge or say a new parent volunteering to be a room parent will not be a good one. Someone signs up and opts to be one because they would like to help. And yes, like another PP put it, parents do work their way into the system ! Whether you accept it or not

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you mentioned in your first post that some parents know how to work their way up. That’s true and you need to learn how to work your way up. You can’t just arrive and think you at “in”. Learn the system.

DP. Why does she need to work her "way up" to room parent? There's a sign up sheet and the parent who signs up first should be assigned room parent. If the teacher prefers a known quantity, then have co-room parents, don't assume a new parent won't be up to the job and dismiss them.

I completely disagree with this statement.

Some moms like the idea of being room mom, but are disorganized or lack organization skills.

Some moms are difficult to work with and are really abrasive.

Some moms fancy themselves pinterest party planning mom, but have bad ideas/difficult ideas/expensive ideas.

Some moms are just a nightmare to be around and have reputations that precede them.

Some moms are simply lovely, but are scattered, disorganized or pushovers.

Some moms are bad or dishonest with money.

Some moms have a slew of toddlers/infants/preschoolers at home, so cannot be depended on to run class parties (siblings can't attend)

Etc.

Etc.

The class mom has to be organized, realistic, relatively pleasant, creative, dependable and able to work with the teacher.

It makes complete sense for the teacher to look at the list of volunteers and pick the mom she thinks will be the best and easiest to work with, NOT the person who ran to the list first.

Also, the room mom collects cash money from all of the parents, so a known mom is a safer option than a new mom.

If you want to be a part of the class parties, show up for the parties. You get the fun and photo ops without the work.

[Anonymous]

No one is entitled to be a room parent. It is a volunteer role to support the teacher, and so it's up to the teacher to pick the volunteer they feel most confident will be able to do the job well. I really don't understand all of the outrage over not getting picked as room parent, what do you think you're missing out on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^^ If she cant give me three minutes of her time, why should I give her $200 of mine? I agree it’s probably a bit petty but oh well. I wanted it to go to someone who appreciated it.

Who one earth spends $200 on cardstock??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ If she cant give me three minutes of her time, why should I give her $200 of mine? I agree it’s probably a bit petty but oh well. I wanted it to go to someone who appreciated it.

Who one earth spends $200 on cardstock??

No kidding, that's like 15 reams of cardstock. The teacher probably won't even keep it, she'll put it in the copy/supply room for everyone because what teacher has room for two copy boxes of cardstock in their classroom?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ If she cant give me three minutes of her time, why should I give her $200 of mine? I agree it’s probably a bit petty but oh well. I wanted it to go to someone who appreciated it.

Who one earth spends $200 on cardstock??

No kidding, that's like 15 reams of cardstock. The teacher probably won't even keep it, she'll put it in the copy/supply room for everyone because what teacher has room for two copy boxes of cardstock in their classroom?

Hmm, pp actually said 12 reams of cardstock, bought on sale. Cardstock is less than $15/ream full price at Staples, so if she got it on sale, she should have paid well less than $200 for it.

[Anonymous]

Could someone please explain why someone would WANT to be a room mom? What is the appeal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are you so desperate to be a room parent, OP? I am SURE there is other volunteer work that is needed.

If you volunteer to be the parent that supervises/organizes the afterschool club, youe child will get a spot.

+1

I don't understand why this is such a big issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just keep volunteering and coming to stuff at the school. There’s a lot of turnover and people moving in and out around here. The “top parents” might have to move overseas or across the country and then you’ll be there to pick up the pieces.

NP here. The PTA type moms don't move, and are often from the area; they are not necessarily the "top" parents, but tend to be self involved and self assigned, as OP is alluding to. OP, I agree with other PP about volunteering about the less glamorous roles, that might help.