Frustrated with preferential treatment

[Anonymous]

MAybe this is why schools don't need "room parents"! I don't think my kids had those since first or second grade. Move on. It's not all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you mentioned in your first post that some parents know how to work their way up. That’s true and you need to learn how to work your way up. You can’t just arrive and think you at “in”. Learn the system.

DP. Why does she need to work her "way up" to room parent? There's a sign up sheet and the parent who signs up first should be assigned room parent. If the teacher prefers a known quantity, then have co-room parents, don't assume a new parent won't be up to the job and dismiss them.

I completely disagree with this statement.

Some moms like the idea of being room mom, but are disorganized or lack organization skills.

Some moms are difficult to work with and are really abrasive.

Some moms fancy themselves pinterest party planning mom, but have bad ideas/difficult ideas/expensive ideas.

Some moms are just a nightmare to be around and have reputations that precede them.

Some moms are simply lovely, but are scattered, disorganized or pushovers.

Some moms are bad or dishonest with money.

Some moms have a slew of toddlers/infants/preschoolers at home, so cannot be depended on to run class parties (siblings can't attend)

Etc.

Etc.

The class mom has to be organized, realistic, relatively pleasant, creative, dependable and able to work with the teacher.

It makes complete sense for the teacher to look at the list of volunteers and pick the mom she thinks will be the best and easiest to work with, NOT the person who ran to the list first.

Also, the room mom collects cash money from all of the parents, so a known mom is a safer option than a new mom.

If you want to be a part of the class parties, show up for the parties. You get the fun and photo ops without the work.

This is why I don't even bother volunteering anymore. I'm an organized/responsible professional, I don't feel the need to work my way up to getting the teacher's stamp of approval to be a room parent. My contribution is sending my kids to school well prepared academically and with all the requested materials. I'm not in high school trying to impress people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you mentioned in your first post that some parents know how to work their way up. That’s true and you need to learn how to work your way up. You can’t just arrive and think you at “in”. Learn the system.

DP. Why does she need to work her "way up" to room parent? There's a sign up sheet and the parent who signs up first should be assigned room parent. If the teacher prefers a known quantity, then have co-room parents, don't assume a new parent won't be up to the job and dismiss them.

I completely disagree with this statement.

Some moms like the idea of being room mom, but are disorganized or lack organization skills.

Some moms are difficult to work with and are really abrasive.

Some moms fancy themselves pinterest party planning mom, but have bad ideas/difficult ideas/expensive ideas.

Some moms are just a nightmare to be around and have reputations that precede them.

Some moms are simply lovely, but are scattered, disorganized or pushovers.

Some moms are bad or dishonest with money.

Some moms have a slew of toddlers/infants/preschoolers at home, so cannot be depended on to run class parties (siblings can't attend)

Etc.

Etc.

The class mom has to be organized, realistic, relatively pleasant, creative, dependable and able to work with the teacher.

It makes complete sense for the teacher to look at the list of volunteers and pick the mom she thinks will be the best and easiest to work with, NOT the person who ran to the list first.

Also, the room mom collects cash money from all of the parents, so a known mom is a safer option than a new mom.

If you want to be a part of the class parties, show up for the parties. You get the fun and photo ops without the work.

This is why I don't even bother volunteering anymore. I'm an organized/responsible professional, I don't feel the need to work my way up to getting the teacher's stamp of approval to be a room parent. My contribution is sending my kids to school well prepared academically and with all the requested materials. I'm not in high school trying to impress people.

I am the person you just quoted.

I don't do the room mother thing either.

Let the teacher pick who she wants to work with. Seriously.

Volunteer (or not) for the things you want to do.

I go to class parties and do a shift at the book fair. That is it.

I don't understand the "But I signed the paper first!" people.

Who cares who signed it first. That is just a list for the teacher to pick from.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I don't even bother volunteering anymore. I'm an organized/responsible professional, I don't feel the need to work my way up to getting the teacher's stamp of approval to be a room parent. My contribution is sending my kids to school well prepared academically and with all the requested materials. I'm not in high school trying to impress people.

Tell me, in your professional life, do you hire people based on their qualifications and experience, or do you hire random people off the street without even looking at a resume or doing an interview? A teacher is also a professional, try not looking down on her for doing her job to the same standard you would do yours.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm glad that you didn't get picked as the room parent because you appear to be a PITA. The point of volunteering as room parent is to be helpful to the teacher. You are making this all about you.

[Anonymous]

FCPS principals and teachers need to set the tone and act professionally.

[Anonymous]

DP here. Actually, a lot of that list is true. There is also the fact that many schools are trying to LIMIT how many parents show up at the school, period. Some parents are too much work. They have a harsh personality, and are generally difficult to get along with. As PP stated, people skills are not their strong point, and their reputation tends to reflect that fact.

Tangentially, we have had moms signing up for certain duties for the wrong reasons. When the moms found out that the responsibilities were not what they thought they were, suddenly those moms were "busy". Funny what gets lost in translation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DP here. Actually, a lot of that list is true. There is also the fact that many schools are trying to LIMIT how many parents show up at the school, period. Some parents are too much work. They have a harsh personality, and are generally difficult to get along with. As PP stated, people skills are not their strong point, and their reputation tends to reflect that fact.

Tangentially, we have had moms signing up for certain duties for the wrong reasons. When the moms found out that the responsibilities were not what they thought they were, suddenly those moms were "busy". Funny what gets lost in translation.

No kidding. My least favorite book fair volunteers are the ones who sign up for the same shift as their friend and then get all bent out of shape when we ask them to help the kindergartners write down the names of books they want rather than socializing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FCPS principals and teachers need to set the tone and act professionally.

How?

[Anonymous]

I guess many of you are missing the point she is trying to make here. Its not that the teacher shouldn't pick who she wants to. Its about the parents very conveniently getting chosen for the slot just because they have friends in the PTA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess many of you are missing the point she is trying to make here. Its not that the teacher shouldn't pick who she wants to. Its about the parents very conveniently getting chosen for the slot just because they have friends in the PTA.

We actually did see that, and responded very directly by suggesting that the other mom may not have been chosen for the reasons OP thinks she was chosen, that there might have been a very valid reason for the selection.

[Anonymous]

OP, just ask the teacher how you can help. Sometimes there is more than one room mom. If there is, and you like her and she has a reputation of being kind (and not b**tchy b**tch!), then you could task the role together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, just ask the teacher how you can help. Sometimes there is more than one room mom. If there is, and you like her and she has a reputation of being kind (and not b**tchy b**tch!), then you could task the role together.

Or you could just offer to help without needing the title of room parent. Plenty of teachers appreciate help with things like photocopying, cutting out laminated items, collating copied packets, pulling worksheets, etc.

[Anonymous]

This is the most dcum thread ever. Saturday Night Live should air a skit just having a bunch of moms recite this thread.

Seriously, just take a step back and try to read this thread from the perspective of a normal person. It’s axtually pretty funny in a dark humor sort of way.

[Anonymous]

Seriously. Like there's some interview process for room parent. We had the same room parent every year for seven years and she was a bully to several parents and teachers. If she didn't like the teacher she'd pay them back with an end of year gift they didn't like. She'd create ways to only honor certain teachers. She abused the email system to promote her side business. Spread false rumors. I don't care how well she got along with some other teachers after watching those actions take place. No one needs to be room parent for seven years for their child. It just isn't that hard of a job and it creates a system of imbalance if you have just a couple of type A parents running everything year to year.

The room parent committee, which at our school is comprised of many parents but with one point of contact for emailing, is in charge of one donation collection, two parties a year, and an end of year gift. If you can parent a child, you can handle being a class room parent.