DD's teacher (innocent or inappropriate)?
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Anonymous
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DD is a senior this year and still applying to colleges. She wants to be a teacher and was hoping to get her math teacher to give her a recommendation. Usually he's very nice to her.
The other day her boyfriend walked her to class. When she walked past the teacher's desk, he said to her "you're still with that guy?" She told him yes. She said that he shook his head and said "you need to break up with him." I told her he was probably just joking but she said he didn't even smile afterwards and just went back to looking at his papers. This embarrassed her even though she doesn't think anyone overheard. She said that he monitors the exit at the back of the school and usually waves and makes a joke with her when she drives past, but that day he just ignored her. Now she's afraid to ask him for a recommendation because she thinks he finds her silly and disapproves of high school relationships. Now, as a mother, my mind is starting to wonder. Is this weird behavior for a teacher? He's young, early 30's. Maybe I'm just overthinking things but when I confided in my husband he said that the whole situation was inappropriate. Please, I'd like to hear another perspective on this situation and what to do about it. |
Anonymous
| Neither, but it sounds like he knows the boyfriend is a loser. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
Looks like we +1 at the same time! (so OP knows these are two separate responses  )
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Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Talk to him. |
Anonymous
| Is the boyfriend an obvious jerk or a loser? Unless the teacher has reason to believe your dd is in an abusive/detrimental relationship, it is completely inappropriate to comment. |
Anonymous
She shouldn't read into this. He's a person and maybe he had something on his mind. It sounds like she's a bit insecure if she's thinking about this whole thing this much. How's her self esteem? |
Anonymous
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Teacher knows the boy and has probably heard him talk or seen him behave in a way that he knows the kid is bad news.
Even complete losers can put on a good face for the parents. |
Anonymous
| Utterly inappropriate. |
Anonymous
| Teacher is being helpful |
Anonymous
| I don't think he thinks she's silly or that he disapproves of HS relationships, I think he suspects or knows something about the boyfriend and is making a judgement (which he shouldn't and should mind his own business unless your DD was about to run off and marry the boyfriend of make a bad college selection decision because of the boyfriend. So yes it was inappropriate. Your DD is almost an adult .. that's when it would be more appropriate, a discussion between adults and not as his student. An occasional teacher has been doing this - giving unsolicited personal advice - since the beginning of time. Your DD isn't that special, I'm guessing. Maybe the teacher is older and losing their filter. |
Anonymous
| Is there any truth to it? If no, its not appropriate. I would email the teacher and ask about the comment and ask if there is anything about the relationship you should be concerned about. |
Anonymous
| Mom, open your eyes. She is with a bad kid and you should thank the teacher. |